Do you think women value humor in a mate more than men do? Why or why not?

Mobrowncheeks · 2023-04-20T15:38:58+00:00

I don’t know a single man who ever considers how funny a woman is, or anyone is for that matter , when they want to hang out with people.

I think women are using the word funny as a placement for someone who has a good and fun personality, not so much that they can just have her laughing all day long.

wtknight · 2023-04-20T17:39:36+00:00

Because a sense of humor shows social skills which often translate into a man being able to form connections and network better and to therefore gain more status and to therefore have more resources for her offspring.

It could also be because a guy with a good sense of humor is more likely to be mentally stable and less of a potential threat to her and her offspring.

PMmeareasontolive · 2023-04-20T15:54:35+00:00

There's no way a guy can say "looking for girl to make me laugh" and expect any response, other than perhaps women taking offense at it..

I value humor and have dated funny women, but there's no fucking way I'd say "make me laugh" the way women do.

King-SAMO · 2023-04-20T20:30:05+00:00

30 years ago, Rachel Dratch went on Politically Incorrect and said something like “guys tell me that they want a girl who’s got a sense of humour, and I’m like ‘hi, I’ve been on SNL for four years’ and then they dont call me. Then months later they introduce me to their new girlfriend and I realize that when they say ‘sense of humour’ they mean ‘has really big tits and always laughs really hard at my jokes.’”

“sense of humour” cuts two ways; as the joker and the audience.

MistyMaisel · 2023-04-20T15:33:56+00:00

So it's A. Last I knew, this was pretty well researched that:

Men define a "good sense of humor" as whatever laughs at them.

Women define a "good sense of humor" as whatever makes them laugh.

This is why men will insist up and down that they don't care if a woman is entertaining. They're kind of right. But, that's because men are entertained by women who find them entertaining. If a woman were to sit with flat affect while a man tried to entertain, he would say she had a poor sense of humor, because it's not even possible he wasn't funny. If a man were to sit with flat affect while a woman cracked wise, don't get me wrong, she probably wouldn't like it, but she wouldn't necessarily assume the problem is within him. If, however, the man cracked wise and couldn't make her laugh, she'd say he wasn't funny never considering that perhaps she's the problem and he's very funny to a different audience.

Safinated · 2023-04-20T16:35:43+00:00

Humor requires confidence, assertiveness, risk of social offense, sometimes physical risk, and often a touch of meanness or cruelty, even if only towards oneself.

All things which are desired/acceptable in one gender and not so much the other

Salt_and_Vinegirl · 2023-04-20T16:02:16+00:00

I don’t find crude/juvenile humor attractive, but if a guy is clever/witty it’s very attractive. Women value intelligence and confidence more than men, but there are plenty of men who value a woman who can make them laugh- in most of the healthy relationships I’ve seen the couple makes each other laugh. There are some insecure men who feel threatened by funny women or claim no women are funny, if they want to shoot themselves in the foot that’s fine by me.

MasterTeacher123 · 2023-04-20T15:42:28+00:00

Women overrate the humor of men they think are hot, it’s the same with intelligence

Also there’s a difference between laughing with you and laughing at you.

ROBYoutube · 2023-04-20T15:29:22+00:00

I think all genders like to laugh and would value a partner that often provides laughs.

CommunicationNo9896 · 2023-04-20T15:36:13+00:00

Women value humor more in men, but in a relationship women often get very mad if you make a joke about something serious.

Women's humor is often not good, but I suspect the reason is that women are so accepted and so welcome than even silly stupid jokes are rewarded so they think they are good at jokes (99% of them aren't).

KirthWGersen · 2023-04-20T15:46:32+00:00

When a women is attracted to a man, she tends to find his jokes and conversation amusing (if when they are not particularly to an outside party).

So when a woman says she is looking for a guy who can make her laugh, she is usually saying she wants a man who makes her feel like she is happy, having fun and attracted.

It is the attraction that makes her laugh; she is not attracted because of the humour.

Mentathiel · 2023-04-20T16:45:06+00:00

A. It's a test of intelligence and social aptitude. I don't think it's hard to figure out why those are important in a partner, I find it more questionable why men don't value it as much.

And women are way less jokey on average. It feels like there's a gendered pressure on men to impress people with their wit that doesn't exist on women, so they just don't tend to bother learning bc it takes social risks at first that they won't take without sufficient incentive. My lesbian friends who tend to be the pursuers are witty af and generally talk in a more entertaining way, so I think a large part of it is pressure to impress women. Though there are various other incentives and people are funny for different reasons, but I do think this is an important component.

HobbitShaker88 · 2023-04-20T17:29:33+00:00

It depends on the individual. Like 90% of posts on here.

I am pretty goofy IRL and the majority of men I dated did value humor highly. Thats probably one of the reasons why they pursued me. My now husband agrees with me when I say "most of the people I met from OLD apps are just duds."

I know women who dont care at all about humor.

pinktuliplover · 2023-04-20T23:25:23+00:00

Women care more about men being funny.

Men care more about women thinking they are funny.

MotleyCrew1989 · 2023-04-21T05:15:22+00:00

"Looking for a guy that can make me laugh" is just another way to say "entertain me"

The only way men expect "entertainment" from a woman is under the sheets, and of course you can express that overtly and expect success.

VehementlyDrawn · 2023-04-21T11:51:36+00:00

Very obviously A

JGoonSquad · 2023-04-20T18:35:47+00:00

The disparity has been explained. Men on average have a few more IQ points than women do. The reason for this is because humor is a subset of intelligence. When women prefer to date funny men they are actually selectively breeding for intelligence.

LingonberryGood3915 · 2023-04-20T22:49:34+00:00

the difference comes from the fact that women are mostly not funny, and in order to be funny, you have to be somewhat assertive and confrontational, which are both negative traits for women. I would go as far as saying to a woman truely being funny is unattractive romanticall even if it is very attractive from a friendship standpoint.

I can think of some women who actually could be funny in a feminine way, which actually was pretty inviting, but thats impossibly rare, because women have no incentive to develop humor.

cromulent_weasel · 2023-04-21T04:34:27+00:00

I think that cross species courtships displays, it's usually the male trying to attract the female. Being a comedian is a form of courtship display.

Siukslinis_acc · 2023-04-21T20:30:06+00:00

A comedian once said "women want men to make them laugh and men want women to laugh at their jokes".

januaryphilosopher · 2023-04-20T15:36:52+00:00

I think it's about equal. Men and women tend to value humour the same and both would like that in a partner if they do value it. Few people are so serious they wouldn't prefer a partner who can make them laugh. What they consider to be humour is more likely to vary.

DeshaunWalt · 2023-04-20T16:04:12+00:00

Men are naturally funny and women aren't

So they look for partners who provide that entertainment

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AstronautLoveShack · 2023-04-20T15:43:57+00:00

I don't think men specifically mention laughter because they use other criteria to find partners - hot/sexy/cute, submissive, feminine, agreeable.

For what it's worth, I don't think that it's that women want to date comedians so much as they want a fun relationship where the couple can laugh at stuff together.

bzl33 · 2023-04-20T16:31:18+00:00

"Looking for a guy that can make me laugh"

Not a thing outside of virtue signaling.

People want to find others with similar cultural experiences imo, similar humor sometimes is that.

dynospectrum7 · 2023-04-20T16:43:35+00:00

Humor is overrated in dating. There’s a reason Danny devito isn’t tucking his way into every woman’s pants.

Illustrious_Wish_383 · 2023-04-20T23:13:43+00:00

I'm a decently funny guy and I can tell you it's overrated

TheOrangeGhost · 2023-04-20T23:26:33+00:00

I literally can't date a girl that doesn't have a strong sense of humor. A good sense of humor is a massive sign of emotional development.

shadowofdoubt13 · 2023-04-21T02:19:41+00:00

“Girls just want to have fun”

Get this through your skull. Use this as a base.

monkey7247 · 2023-04-21T10:42:11+00:00

My wife is one of the funniest people I know. Her looks will likely fade over time, but just like kids with cancer her dark humor will never get old.

grown_folks_talkin · 2023-04-22T05:28:44+00:00

Humor is a marker of self-confidence. Of course women value self-confidence in men far more than men value it in women.

Title	Do you think women value humor in a mate more than men do? Why or why not?
Author	Windmill_flowers
Upvotes	6
Comments	145
Date	April 20, 2023 3:25 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/12t4c7n/do_you_think_women_value_humor_in_a_mate_more/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-you-think-women-value-humor-in-a-mate-more-than.1215108 https://theredarchive.com/post/1215108

A

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