Is a woman's romantic interest much less stable than a man's romantic interest?

TheWhiteWalkerSpeaks · 2022-05-21T15:36:22+00:00

From what you described, you sound like you only had one option to date, you put all your hopes on her and your interest grows.

The woman might have several options. She may have been interested in you on date 1 but she may have met someone before date 2 who probably took all her attention away from you.

VisionsOfVisions · 2022-05-21T14:42:12+00:00

I wouldn’t say less stable, but they have more boxes that they want a man to check. For a man, if they vibe and are attractive, we might ignore red flags that pop up here and there. For a woman, there are things they are still evaluating after a date or two.

So women can be more selective because, especially for attractive ones, they have so many options. It’s like guys ordering food at a hot dog stand vs girls ordering from a full sit down menu.

A seduction principle based off this: escalate your relationship to the point she has committed to her choice and navigate her emotions in such a way that she doesn’t feel compelled to second guess her choice.

MO_drps_knwldg · 2022-05-21T14:56:33+00:00

Will continue to repeat this because it’s so important.

You are absolutely correct. Men fall hard for women much easier and are more stable in how they feel.

Women are extremely fickle unless they have a high level or attraction or have an emotional investment (i.e want to be in a relationship with you)

Also, once a woman falls out of love with you, there’s no going back. Even if you have years of history together. They’re anchored emotionally to the present moment

Ambitious-Ice2357 · 2022-05-21T15:24:23+00:00

Not wrong. Women have far more options then men have in the dating market. An attractive woman has countless men approaching her, hitting her up on social media and trying to get inside her. Unless you’re dating an unattractive pig, the power balance will always be off and so will the stability of the relationship.

willgo-waggins · 2022-05-21T15:48:10+00:00

I tend to agree in the short term and if you don’t show her what she is wanting to see within that short term.

I feel that longer term and especially if she has shown an obvious emotional commitment to you, in my experience I find that at that point the formula tends to reverse and she becomes locked to you.

Idk. I have always felt that this has been my pattern in life. That once I get them committed and it’s gone past say six months or so, I have to work at it if I want to get rid of them and I can almost always go back to the well even after leaving.

its-not-my-account · 2022-05-21T17:40:17+00:00

So, I'll just speak for myself.. I recently went on a dating app for the first time. So some guys I am talking to ask to take me out, but I don't know enough yet to know if they're right for me. I decide i may as well just go for it, talk, joke, flirt - because that's how I'd be in a relationship and I want to know what the guy is like with me being me (in my mind the other option is to be stand offish-ish and they won't get a fair read on me?). But, well, at the end of the night sometimes I'm just thinking, 'nup, not for me' because our conversation was boring, or they didn't understand my humour, or they start making assumptions about me, so many different things that I'm like wtf is this guy thinking (like self awareness zero sometimes).. so, I feel like I tried, I put myself out there, but I can't pretend the guy is who I want long term.. so have to terminate. It can take a couple dates even, but if there's issues I can't see changing why would I persist?

I've been on dates with a few guys lately - 2 of them want to lock it in, they have made it clear they want to be official - but I think they barely even know me, they just like the idea of me, and that's off putting - while it's flattering they're attracted to me, I want them to actually like my personality which they haven't bothered to get to know.. whereas guy number 3 has been having epic phone convos, and loves my jokes, and is just really open about his thoughts and life.. and he knows I've been on other dates (as they all do, I've just been honest) but he's being normal and realistic and doesn't expect a commitment after a short time... And his confidence is hot af.. he has joked that I'm "still shopping around" and that's fine while we're just getting to know each other more, because if we're a good fit he knows it'll be him..

So, yeah, not unstable, just want a real connection before making a commitment.. and none of this surface sh!t some guys think count as a connection 🤷‍♀️

(and yeah, guy 1 and 2 are probably going to be like 'errrr what happened?? I thought we were solid??' even though I've made some remarks that they barely know me, different humour styles etc... But it's in one ear and out the other it seems)

yennybear888 · 2022-05-21T14:35:29+00:00

Women have more options

Also she’s still testing you subconsciously and you must have failed a few times

Contango6969 · 2022-05-21T14:17:17+00:00

No sounds about right.

betterme2610 · 2022-05-21T16:31:59+00:00

When you have options be it man or woman it becomes easier to not settle down. Generally speaking

koolex · 2022-05-21T17:39:54+00:00

You're right, women are like cats. Women will show high interest and then disappear, like a cat, and they need space to develop feelings for you.

For women masculine behavior is as important as physical attractiveness. If a man acts in ways that isn't masculine or they act needy then a woman's interest could wane completely in just one bad text. Once women completely lose interest in a guy then they enter the friendzone which isn't worth climbing out of.

Men's interest is much more stable because men are mostly attracted to looks and some to personality and that doesn't usually change dramatically so men's interest is fairly stable.

Informal_Fishing5729 · 2022-05-21T16:37:26+00:00

NO. But one of the two partners romantic interest is always minor compared to the other. Sometimes it’s the man, sometimes the woman

Archyblackcat · 2022-05-21T15:46:13+00:00

Bro you’re right !! Most girls are only comparing themselves to other girls and what they have and if they see someone uglier than them with a better guy than you, they’re probably gonna loose interest and try to find a better looking guy.. that’s why a lot of attractive girls are single very few girls are actually “humble” enough to stick to you regardless of anything

adaptor1 · 2022-05-21T17:50:30+00:00

I've had women who were obviously extremely interested on date 1, and then after the 2nd date they're done...

So what did you do if they were "extremely interested", did you touch them, did you kiss, did you invited her at your place?

caesarfecit · 2022-05-21T20:19:01+00:00

A woman's romantic interest is unstable when she's juggling.

Otherwise, she's either not interested, interested, or unsure.

But when you see up and down, hot and cold, or a lot of vacillating rather than plain old indecision, it's because she's weighing her options.

lefthandedaf · 2022-05-21T17:45:56+00:00

Men are light switches. Ones and zeros. We like you or we don’t. Simple. Women are rubix cubes tumbling down the street in a rainstorm.

hellomoto7473 · 2022-05-21T18:02:34+00:00

I think a woman's romantic interest, in 2022, is solely based off looks.

great_account · 2022-05-21T17:41:17+00:00

Women don't know what they want. They can tell you they don't do hook ups while they're about to hook up with you. My general advice is to ignore her words and focus on her body language.

Deep-Advice7587 · 2022-05-21T16:23:47+00:00

No, it's not gender based but personality based, I'm stable when it comes to my romantic life, my crushes last at least a year, on the other hand, more than half of my friends would forget a date in a week, move to another.

jjboy91 · 2022-05-21T19:01:26+00:00

They have dozen of options in progress while they talk to you

Reek138 · 2022-05-21T19:30:50+00:00

How can you possibly gauge if you like someone after one or two dates.. you don’t even know them. At all.

recyclablebanthas · 2022-05-22T13:09:11+00:00

1

Is a woman's romantic interest much less stable than a man's romantic interest?

This isn't something that can be generalized.

Some men's interest is fickle. Same with women.

Sometimes the problem is not fickleness, but lack of understanding of the opposite sex.

If you have a misconception about someone, whenever their real self contradicts that misconception, it will be jarring.

It's easy to see someone as fickle if you don't see them as who they really are.

2

I've had women who were obviously extremely interested on date 1, and then after the 2nd date they're done...

I often find my interest in her growing over time.

Yet womens interest seems very unstable and more in the moment.

During the first couple dates or even weeks really, no one should be over-invested. There's no reason for your interest to be a huge thing at this point.

You don't know her.

She doesn't know you.

And if they're done by the 2nd date, every time, then it's not an issue with all women. It means that something is going wrong on your end with what you're doing.

Which means that some adjustments on your end could address the results you're seeing. This is good: you have control over what you do.

atomant88 · 2022-05-21T15:17:54+00:00

what does this have to do with game?

IAmCalhoun · 2022-05-21T20:44:49+00:00

Lol. Maybe I’m not supposed to be here. I used to tell women they would probably be around for about 90 days before I get bored. Approach with confidence and you get better results.

Always remember that for every WCW, she used to be someone else’s TBT.

shdai · 2022-05-21T18:39:04+00:00

depnds on how much better you are to her. women are primarily attracted to people who wouldn't want them normally.

ksmith11011 · 2022-05-21T17:09:07+00:00

Most women don’t trust their emotions so they’re constantly second guessing themselves and trying to squash feelings when they’re vulnerable, etc. That’s where the instability comes from.

WanyCaleb · 2022-05-21T18:42:40+00:00

Shoulda smashed after date 1.

Training_Passenger79 · 2022-05-21T21:46:20+00:00

I would say that from what I’ve seen, it’s usually the woman’s interest that grows and the man who loses interest.

Women don’t usually know whether they’re interested in you yet before dating. They need to get to know you first to see if they feel a connection. Men, however, as you said, usually pretty much know strait off the bat whether or not they are interested because it’s more of an appearance thing for the guys, which isn’t to say personality doesn’t also matter.

For the women, though, who tend to be more socially orientated, it’s more of a friendship thing. A lot of guys, to be honest, don’t necessarily seem that cute when they’re strangers to you. However, when you start hanging out with them and you find all of these things to like, they start becoming more and more attractive to you.

Then, in a relationship, you’re curious about this person and really want to understand them on a deeper level. You want to make the relationship work, and maybe you wonder whether this might be your future husband. You invest time and energy, try to communicate, try to keep things fun and fresh.

For many men, though, especially if they’re younger, the appeal seems to be in getting the girl. Once they’re dating the girl, though, the experience of dating is a lot more work than a guy might have bargained for and it seems like the woman is asking for rather a lot.

Once the sexual experience is no longer novel, they start to look at other pretty women, and since, for guys, they know whether they would want to get with you straight off the bat, it’s easy to start being attracted in other women…

A phenomenon men call “getting bored”.

Now, obviously, this is a generalization, and in this case, it’s maybe a little unfair to the guys because it makes them seem more shallow. I don’t think they’re necessarily shallow - just much more motivated by sensory and visual stimuli. The depth is there but so are the hormones.

In the end, it tends to be that men seem to fall in love with the fantasy of being with a women, whereas women seem to fall in love with the reality of being with a man.

This is my personal perspective - sorry if there’s some unseen bias I have here! I’m a woman, and you’re a man, so I’m probably not 100% accurate here when it comes to my understanding of your sex. This is just what I pieced together.

Hopefully it helps!

PS: Dating tip. I think you’re not actually making it into the “she’s interested in you” phase, and that might be because you’re not dating people who share your interests and values. Women tend to choose partners they feel a connection with, and usually, it is that those people value what they value. Maybe, next time, try to figure out what she values and find out where her values and beliefs intersect yours…don’t default to discussing hobbies and taste in music unless she keeps coming back to that, because those are shallow subjects. You want her to get to know who you really are inside and feel in touch with you in a way that makes you special and different. Guys tend to assume their attitude, assets, and/or appearance is the “selling point”, but it’s usually not, and if it is for a girl, that’s a girl you don’t want to date. It’s who you are that matters to whether or not she feels there is a real connection between you.

ArjunVermaReddit · 2022-05-21T21:47:20+00:00

I agree. I think they expect a lot more escalation and it almost always seems like they want to hook up on the 1st date and the 2nd dates the limit. Its not a "numbers" problem as other people say, but it is an expectation of whats "the done thing".

BreakinLiberty · 2022-05-21T22:45:07+00:00

Women are fickle… All that needs to be said

I have the same experience you have but obviously not everyone willbe this way

It’s usually because girls have way more attention and “options” So even if you were the same they got bored and want more or better. Little do they know they probably wont ever find it or even if they do it’ll never be enough

Title	Is a woman's romantic interest much less stable than a man's romantic interest?
Author	Everlast23
Upvotes	208
Comments	104
Date	May 21, 2022 2:01 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/uunr1q/is_a_womans_romantic_interest_much_less_stable/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-a-womans-romantic-interest-much-less-stable.1259077 https://theredarchive.com/post/1259077

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