Dating apps are bullshit

VikingWaluigi · 2020-05-18T18:16:56+00:00

You forgot a 3rd category of girls on dating apps: those who just got out of a relationship and are trying to get over their ex.

These are the worst because they'll drop you like a fly once their ex crawls back into their life.

Devilery · 2020-05-18T19:52:45+00:00

I don't know, man. I have to disagree.

You are partly right, and you are also partly projecting your own flaws & insecurities.

I do agree that, statistically, most women on dating apps are shallow, insecure, immature, and every other way incompatible for a healthy relationship, but you can definitely find great ones there too.

First things first, don't swipe so many to the right. My left to right ratio is like 15:1. That considerably cuts out the 'bullshitters'.

Now, don't use cheesy r/tinder pickup lines. Go for authentic shit. Something that, actually, comes from you. Be straightforward and in your best mindset. If this fails, up your personal development.

Most will drop off at this point.

Those who stay - facetime them. Again, be open and dominantly the authentic you. And again, if authentic you is insecure, unhappy, whatever other shitty flaw, fix it.

I have met some amazing girls on Tinder, and am currently dating one. Not saying anything big will grow out of it, but I'm veeeeery picky and she seems cool.

The issue is, the competition is high and most guys are mediocre. So yeah, it's un uphill battle for many.

If you look great, have great hobbies, a great mindset and a strong, unshakeable purpose, you're golden and will meet cool girls!

Bergatario · 2020-05-18T20:19:55+00:00

I met my wife on OK Cupid and she's not fat (quite thin and great bod and face in fact) nor a slut. She was a professional woman in her low 30s that didn't have a lot of time to date because of her job after breaking up with a long term boyfriend. I was dating other women at the time (some even younger than me or her in the rotation), but she won me over with her personality and good looks and we've been together ever since (7 years of marriage by now).

It happens. Of course I put in the work to make myself attractive to women, wasn't a loser, etc. But nothing out of the ordinary apart from having a decent job, hitting the gym every day and dressing well.

clionaalice · 2020-05-18T19:38:48+00:00

Most of the single girls and guys I know are on dating apps? You’re totally generalising. Most people just join them when they’re single for fun and to make friends. Other people go on them to find a genuinely meaningful connection. Just because you have had a bad experience on these apps, doesn’t mean everybody has. I’ve actually met some cool people and had some decent dates on it!

DopeAsDaPope · 2020-05-18T18:38:25+00:00

Sounds like you had a bad time on one and are generalising it man hahah

Sickofitblonde · 2020-05-18T20:40:19+00:00

There is also women like me who work 12 hour days four days a week so don't have alot of time for bullshit, so talking over the phone and getting to know someone that way is better for my schedule. 😒

masturkiller · 2020-05-18T20:01:18+00:00

I think dating apps are best used within an overall dating strategy. Its best not to rely on them solely. For example, Im on Match and Okcupid but Im ALSO going to meetups and I go to church. I dont plan to meet anyone at church in a romantic sense however church has opened my pool of friendships and by that its exposing me to more people.

This exposure is what is improving my dating life. Also and I think this is the most important element. There are many people who would date you, who cannot derive from your profile, if you are dateable so they pass on you, however these very same people would be interested in you if they met you organically and NOT on a dating app. That is why you must not solely rely on online dating ONLY!

deviantkink · 2020-05-18T21:36:10+00:00

Men try to do a shot-gun approach which is incompatible with the way women tend to use the apps.

You may think you're saving time by writing the most generic profile, and trying to match with or sending a copypasta to every attractive woman in a 25 mile radius... but you're not saving time, you're wasting it.

Men need to filter in the same way that women filter. If you're looking for a hook up and she's looking for a relationship, next. If you don't find her attractive enough to actually want to go on a date, next. If it's OKC and you guys have less than a 50% match, next. When you do find somebody who you think you'd really be compatible with, you need to individualize your approach specifically for that person.

You also need to suggest meeting within the first day of talking, even if you guys set a date in advance. Don't just keep chatting on the app, try to get the person's phone number asap.

The pool of people in real life is the same as the apps. Most people are average, both in looks and personality. I'm willing to bet that you're simply just ignoring the vast majority of people you run into on a day-to-day basis and only focusing on the hotties. Those hotties are probably on the apps as well, and if they're not it's because they're taken.

Real life does have it's advantages. For guys especially, it's easier to win over a woman who might have not been initially attracted to you with your personality. If that's the case then get out there.

But for most guys it's simply that they have too high of expectations. Dating apps aren't a build a bitch workshop - people are still just as average and imperfect as they are in real life. You're right that there is no shortcut. The apps can work but you have to put effort into it.

le_GoogleFit · 2020-05-18T18:46:39+00:00

Honestly I'm getting tired of guys who don't manage to achieve shit with dating apps and therefore decide it's absolute shit for everybody. This sub is full of that.

I'm shit at playing football, that's not a reason for me to go and declare that football is objectively a shit game to play and everyone should play video games instead.

This dating app hate is getting ridiculous and kind of pathetic if I'm being honest.

I'm ready to be downvoted but this is the truth. It may not be as easy as other forms of Game but you can definitely get results from Tinder without being a literal 10/10 Chad.

Reaver_ · 2020-05-18T19:53:36+00:00

Sounds like you are just not having the success you want on dating apps. It sounds like you're not matching with the girls you actually want to match with, so that automatically means it's an "exception" when it happens to anyone else, like some extenuating circumstances or supernatural force are allowing other guys to be successful. And rather than entertaining the idea that maybe your pics and bio, or even your text game, aren't as great as you thought, you just make this gross generalization that all apps suck, and then post here to feel validated.

I think you bring up some valid points on what's wrong with dating apps and some of the people who use it, and these are definitely worth acknowledging, but literally everything has it's own flaws, even in person approaches. Dating apps are just a different kind of game that you have to learn to work with and get better at. Dismissing them as "they all just suck" because you're not as good as you want to be just comes off as insecure.

This post just sounds like your goal is to be more petty than insightful. If you wanted to come off as more insightful, could've said something like "I'm not as successful as I'd like to be on dating apps, but it's taught me to appreciate and get better at in person approaches/ interactions."

To everyone who likes using dating apps and are finding success in them, keep doin you!

dallaaaaas · 2020-05-18T19:12:37+00:00

I met my boyfriend on Tinder. We’ve been together almost two years now and he is my absolute favorite human. I know a couple other people who have met their significant others on these apps too. Most people are pretty open about what they want on them, and if they’re not, just ask them and keep it moving if it’s not what you want.

jcelchakas · 2020-05-18T19:16:14+00:00

Tinder gives you a simple and effective way to communicate with single women in your area. How you use this tool and the degree of success you have using it is entirely up to the user. There is no reason to discard a viable option for whatever your goal is.

fix2626 · 2020-05-18T19:50:36+00:00

I've met like 5 married couples who've met online.

BitsAndBobs304 · 2020-05-18T21:18:20+00:00

You're not really making a case for cold or warm approaches when you are the 26484th poster that says "I approached a girl and she said she appreciated me approaching her, buuuut she just happened to have an excuse as to why she rejected me".
You're also not connecting with the audience when you lament how unattractive the women are on dating apps, when most men would be estatic to go on a date with any of them, yet can barely get any matches,chats,dates withing a year..

TheMobHunter · 2020-05-18T22:36:11+00:00

You: "Go out and meet people"

Corona: "yes, that sounds like a very good idea"

2020-05-18T19:30:20+00:00

I agree with your whole thing. The apps will get you girls, but in my experience they’ve been psychos or boring with no in between. Maybe that’s just what I attract on there though because I typically say really silly stuff in chat.

Unrelated to the app stuff, have you been actually talking to people outside since all this covid stuff? I was walking the other day and caught some cuties checking me out and all I said in response was hi because I honestly don’t know how to progress when we have months or longer of quarantine. That’s gonna be a hell of a dry spell, but I don’t really know what else to do.

K0oligan · 2020-05-18T20:00:08+00:00

And where do you meet these 'good quality women' then ?

carvedouttastone · 2020-05-18T22:08:01+00:00

Dating apps are what you make them.

Use them with the wrong attitude in mind and you'll get the same result as with anything else in life

forestfairy23 · 2020-05-18T22:10:47+00:00

I met my S.O on tinder and so did all of my close friends! A small majority of people I know met people through a random ‘connection’, but trust me, I tried that approach, and I was way more successful on tinder!

HighHopes2019 · 2020-05-18T19:19:17+00:00

Wait so does that mean your experience with the same girl / guy who lives near you will be totally different because you met her on a dating app as opposed to meeting in person? Hmmmmmm.

bsale · 2020-05-18T20:28:33+00:00

IMO You sound bitter and like you want to put down people who have had success on dating apps because you haven’t.

bspot143 · 2020-05-18T20:35:14+00:00

I think Dating Apps can be successful, but it depends. I wouldn’t use it as the only source of dating, but it gets you out and you get to meet people. I’ve met some friends that are in long term relationships because of dating apps. Just like irl dating you have to date a few people b4 you get to the right one.

celestialmarks · 2020-05-18T20:48:19+00:00

I met my significant other on Tinder and we're going strong 2 years later. I think you just have to really focus on what you want and learn to filter people out.

PhilosophEyes · 2020-05-18T20:54:01+00:00

I would have whole-heartedly agreed with this post before a global pandemic cam on... Now, not so much

dontbanana · 2020-05-18T22:08:14+00:00

Lmao this is bs. If you are an attractive dude with good text game you can make good connections on these apps all the time. Just gotta wade through the trash

kdaotha · 2020-05-18T21:02:51+00:00

My girlfriend and I met on bumble. We love each other a lot. Works for some, I suppose.

Morpheus987 · 2020-05-18T21:06:04+00:00

I was just going to say this whole thread

Passion1981 · 2020-05-18T21:31:06+00:00

You sound upset but again you are free to speak your mind dear ! I’m sure “ the one” is out there waiting for you!! Just not on the dating app

lolpengi · 2020-05-18T22:19:50+00:00

This is not true for every person on dating sites by any means. I know many people who use them and have had successful dating lives that ended in relationships.

I get that there are an abundance of people with the scenarios you mentioned but that generalization does not encompass everyone who uses them.

Its a great place for people who are shy.

It is also a great way for people like me who work in an office completely by myself all day but when I am not in the office I am out doing things typically with my kids or my friends that dont necessarily give access to a bunch of people to meet. I go to bbqs at my friends houses, hike in the woods, run with my head phones in, go to the gym with my head phones in, grocery shop etc and those are just not scenarios in which you typically meet people. And I personally do not appreciate being approached when I am all by myself, it kinda freaks me out. And I dont want to meet someone at the bars.

The main issue that I have found with online dating is that a lot of people are on there out of a freshly ended relationship and while they think they are ready to move on, they are far from it. Then when an actual connection forms it kinda freaks them out. This has happened numerous times. Ive also found a lot of people that while they are fine, I just didnt form a connection with the.

melissa_y · 2020-05-18T23:16:28+00:00

Well, I guess you are right, but there are also people who are looking to meet new people 'just in case'. I can say that I was one of them. I was on Tinder for a couple of weeks, because I wanted to meet guys who are not 'just looks'. I am 19, so it's hard to find guys around my age who are not interested only in hookups. But I did find ones. I made new friends and I am still in touch with some of them. Of course, there were plenty of jerks or arrogant ones, but you could easily unmatch them. I think it's about you. What do you expect from it. Because if you search carefully, you will find what you want. Well, I did not exactly find 'a romance story' but I don't regret meeting some amazing people. Just an extra advice : if you consider yourself attractive, just find a girl you like and make a move. Be bold. Girls just love a guy who is confident enough to be bold around them. Hate to be straight forward with this, but shy ones get usually friendzoned.

badbitch599 · 2020-05-18T23:34:04+00:00

Just because a girl is on a dating app doesn’t make her “insecure” or “fucked up”. If your experience with dating apps suck that’s because you probably aren’t as great as you think. Sure, I’ve never found love on tinder/bumble or even found someone who wanted more than just sex or was emotionally available, but maybe that’s just because I looked at the wrong people, I have a certain type and I know it’s toxic manipulative assholes. You clearly have a certain type on dating apps too because you end up matching with these girls you call “insecure and fucked up”. Instead of blaming the entire female population that simply uses an app to meet people online instead of in person, try looking at yourself, what the fuck makes you stand out from all the other guys in the world? If you’re good looking, congrats, go date any girl in the world with your toxic attitude. Also this is a two-way stream. The dating pool for us girls sucks ass too because most guys are disrespectful or looking for a quick fuck, but that’s really sad for the guys looking for a genuine connection because we have our judgements so clouded. Oh and the catfish thing, 90% of the guys I met in person looked a lot worse in person than in their pictures, and many guys lied about their height (not that I give a fuck it just screams insecurity and dishonesty).

killertortoise55 · 2020-05-19T00:23:40+00:00

My parents are premarital counselors. They said these days more than half of their couples meet on dating apps. And that they have noticed the app couples tend to be better fits than the ones that meet “organically.”

Ironically one of the biggest concerns for these couples is how they are viewed by friends and family who discount apps as a viable way to meet an SO.

Bottom line: do what works for you, but don’t assume you know what works for everyone else.

KillYourInnerLoser · 2020-05-19T03:03:42+00:00

How about you quit bitching and actually put in the work to get laid on Tinder?

yellowflower15 · 2020-05-19T03:46:36+00:00

Bring old fashioned talking and meeting back..... Except now we have all sorts of crazy going on in the world as well.... I think things went downhill in the dating world when everything turned online.

LakersAreTerrible25 · 2020-05-18T19:43:10+00:00

They used to be much better. I'm 21 now and used pretty much all the dating apps when I was 17/18. Now its just full of bots and they promote paying for premium to get matches. Its better to meet girls in person anyway, my school is full of girls who are 9s or 10s and have low body counts. One advantage to being in an academically based school, less of the girls are sluts. Dating apps are full of girls who have 100+ body counts

thediabetik · 2020-05-18T20:51:07+00:00

I agree that dating apps are garbage, but not for the reasons you listed. I get almost zero matches or responses to messages I send. In about 6 years of trying to use apps I've been on one date that led to nothing and that's it. I've uploaded more and better pics, I've varied the messages I send, I paid money for a year's subscription to 2 apps, I've varied what it says in my profile and nothing I do seems to work.

SensualyAlpha · 2020-05-18T21:35:25+00:00

I think in mostly you are correct but I’ve met some awesome women on those apps, it takes a lot of work and the proliferation of scammers and Snapchat girls just gets worse and and worse especially now during the pandemic. The worst for me have been a few younger women with a kink that have a lot of fantasies and we sort through them for a while but when it comes down to meeting, they ghost

Skittlescanner316 · 2020-05-18T21:37:58+00:00

Meh-I think dating apps are sort of like an op-shop. TONS of rubbish but if you dig, you can certainly find some gems. Yes, it’s effort but it’s exposure. I certainly wish it were easier.

PlatinumSavage1 · 2020-05-18T22:42:41+00:00

To all the people saying we need to stop hating on dating apps, consider the many stories that you hear from people online about how it doesn't work out or is rigged or how they never get any matches despite the fact that they're ding everything right. You're a clown for dating we need to stop hating on the apps. A CLOWN.

GainzdalfTheWhey · 2020-05-18T22:47:58+00:00

Sure but try to approach a women in the coming months. Masked up and with a muffled voice. Dating apps must love the quarantine

salutcemoi · 2020-05-18T22:50:58+00:00

What about IG tho

Teamtoast · 2020-05-18T22:54:54+00:00

I think this post would be better in r/dating_advice Sorry you just picked the wrong crowd lol

slamdunktiger86 · 2020-05-18T23:02:56+00:00

This is not the season to be apps during a quarantine.

Get off the apps and crank out some push ups.

Execute the old stock adage, sell in May and go away.

Come back when the women are open for business. They ain’t right now. They are just milking y’all for attention out of boredom. The women can only binge watch and eat so much at home.

thundabot · 2020-05-18T23:19:16+00:00

Disagree, every single person is on an app these day. It’s just too convenient. Don’t have to wait for a weekend and go out anymore.

PepeLePunk · 2020-05-18T23:19:28+00:00

HeS jUsT sAlTy

I don’t understand this reference. Can someone explain?

The_lone_ginger27 · 2020-05-18T23:27:26+00:00

I have never used a dating app but i still have trouble approaching attractive women because where i live, and i don't mean to sound like a sexist dick but it just seems to be true with where i live, pretty much 90% of women, regardless of looks, tend to be pretty crazy and possessive and i don't care how attractive a woman is, i can't deal with that kind of craziness yet again so every time I notice a woman that interests me, i can't help but think she has a crazy side because every woman i have gotten with has ended up being possessive and try to keep me from my own family. I am just tired of that nonsense and it keeps me from even trying to get with any woman. It has been almost a year since i have even been with a woman and she ended up being crazy too and i'm not just saying it because she did tell me she was diagnosed with schizophrenia and i should have left at that point but she was puerto Rican and the sex was great XD but yeah that's my thought process on that right now but hopefully I can stop thinking about how crazy i think a woman is and just go for it because i work around some very fine ladies that much is for sure

Alertcircuit · 2020-05-18T23:31:21+00:00

Strong disagree, dating apps are not bullshit.

I know lots of people who found their SOs on Tinder, I have a friend who even found his wife on there. Your points have merit but it just sounds like you may not have had a lot of success on them the way some people have, and that's maybe impacting your view of the whole thing.

HOWEVER, most of your points are correct and you give great advice on the abundance mentality thing and that people should gain the confidence to ask girls out in public spaces outside of a phone. I also agree with your analysis on what TYPES of girls frequent these apps, and yeah most of them have some sort of large flaw but so do most people.

a16267532 · 2020-05-18T23:36:01+00:00

Yeah dating apps suck, but stop whining. I met my girlfriend on match. She just moved in. Think about it this way, dating apps are just a compacted population of the single women on the market near you. Are most of them 10s? nope. Are you guarenteed to have chemistry? Nope. Are some of them crazied nut cases fresh out of a straight jacket? Yup.

Go try sourcing women from bars, coffee shops, and parks. You will find the same types of people that are single. Its about finding the ones you want. It takes time, and a way to narrow your field to your desire. Be it humor, a hobby, comedy, books, or just good conversation. You are 100 on it with the confidence thing, but way to negative about it.
You want to find the biggest group and boil it down to what you want. Research surveys find what are the most common dating apps in your area, start there, but don't expect the site to over flowing with models whose panties drop just from confidence. Confidence is great, but women get about 4000% more message than guys do on those site. So if you don't stand out, you are invisible.

Melomane_Nep · 2020-05-18T23:46:58+00:00

We speak the same mind.... Glad someone said it!!

EvilDomGM · 2020-05-18T23:48:05+00:00

Minor point of contention, high-value women are on the apps. Ones I know from other places that means I never want anything to do with them like have specifically said so and discussed it with me. The problem is they're not meeting anybody from them.

And that's way worse than if they just weren't there because you see smart beautiful women who you would love to spend time with, maybe even occasionally you match one and chat but they've got so many other options that don't require meeting a stranger it probably just isn't going to happen.

The-ls · 2020-05-19T00:01:57+00:00

Thanks r/rimjob_steve

Dutch_econ_student · 2020-05-19T00:05:15+00:00

I noticed it's almost exclusively men reacting (might be the community, I came here from the home page) But in case any of you want my point of view

I (22F) made accounts after I went on a date with a guy I met irl, but it didn't work out. I had just moved and wanted to meet new people. And a possible boyfriend would be nice, so I was/am not looking for hook-ups at all. (You missed the type that just don't know a lot of people in an area where talking to strangers is not a common thing.)

I'm picky as to who I like and dislike. So if you have mulitipel pictures and a good story about who you are you improve your chances. I've disliked 9s because they just didn't seem interesting and liked 5s because the seemed to be a nice person, so looks is NOT everything.

If I get a message from someone acctually related to my profile I'll almost always send something back (unless the are like 30+ years old, I just don't think I'm in the same phase of life). And it doesn't even have to be something interesting, if I say "I like the colour blue" just send, "Hey name, why do you like blue? Is there a fun/interesting story behind this?". Just asking questions, responding in a timely fashion (not days later) and being nice will get you a long way. If you meet someone irl and get their number you'll have the same type of text convo anyways.

(This ofcourse is just my opinon and won't work on all girls, and may be vastly different depending where you live, but it most likely won't hurt anyone)

SirGrayHat · 2020-05-19T00:11:51+00:00

I mean it’s a tool. You can choose to use a tool any number of ways. There’s no guarantee meeting ppl IRL means you’re going to meet ppl who aren’t insecure or messed up. Apps are just another means to an end. Whatever your end might be

Babayaga20000 · 2020-05-19T00:21:38+00:00

idk man ive met some really interesting girls off dating apps, its definitely doable but you have to know what youre doing

StanDando · 2020-05-19T00:32:05+00:00

What I agree about is that dating apps are terrible, and in fact, they take any smouldering fragments of whatever remains of male power away from us.

What I dont get, is what someone so dismissive of hooking up with girls is doing on this group.

What are you hoping to find on, say, Tinder? A future 90 year-old pensioner who has got used to the accidental pissing you do on your zimmerframe, because she remembers what an internally beautiful and unique snowflake you were before you got married to her 70 monogamous years previously?

Considering that honesty is the best policy with relationships, a game subreddit probably isnt the best place for you to be. The relationships that last are those where you both accept eachother for how you are.

Also, hooking up is fucking awesome.

TiNyUzi · 2020-05-19T00:32:59+00:00

I see this bullshit thread every week. Wtf else we got to do during quarantine? Stop shitting on dating apps bruhb

papajon_ · 2020-05-19T00:39:01+00:00

definitely gonna have to agree with you on this one man, not because I get few matches or anything (which is true), but with that being said, you’re right, the people I have interacted with on dating apps are just not my cup of tea. Guess I’ll give Christian Mingle a try.

SomeGuy578 · 2020-05-19T01:07:04+00:00

That's like, your opinion man.

oAkimboTimbo · 2020-05-19T01:10:29+00:00

Sorry to break it to you, but just because you haven’t had a good experience with dating apps doesn’t mean that it’s bullshit

natashkagankav · 2020-05-19T01:20:12+00:00

Uh just found my boyfriend on Tinder. I disagree

RaceChazer · 2020-05-19T01:32:09+00:00

I would agree that they are to get laid primarily. So, be safe and use protection. No you won’t find the match of your dreams, you’re there to fill voids and time-

twotap69 · 2020-05-19T01:36:49+00:00

Married for over 20 years and been divorced for 5, met girls all kinds of different ways but the girl that just does it for me in every way I met on a dating app! We have been together over a year and it just keeps getting better. Not every female on an app falls into your categories!

Mc_Dickles · 2020-05-19T02:29:09+00:00

Also, these apps are designed to keep you on without giving you too much. My first Tinder account was dead, never got more than 5 matches after the months of making it. Thought it was cursed so I deleted it. When it asked why I deleted, I gave the reason "No Matches."

Instantly after I deleted it I made a new account with the same phone number and right after finishing my profile I got 14 straight matches. Most of them were useless and nothing came out of it. And now it's back to square one. No more matches.

OneTrueQ · 2020-05-19T02:35:25+00:00

I ain’t read all that lol but you’re right. If you’re genetics aren’t top tier do not rely on dating apps. Also don’t put faith into a woman that uses dating apps if you want the wheat of the chaff. The best women you can get do NOT use tinder, man. (I don’t care about anyone’s exceptions) But by all means guys use dating apps to assess your area and develop abundance.

TiedHands · 2020-05-19T04:44:10+00:00

I totally agree in principle about dating apps. I mean, the idea is great, the execution not so much. But if you think about it, it's a losing game. The very reason you would get on one is because you can't find someone. So you end up with a menagerie of rejects, people with confidence and self esteem issues, people with lots of problems, etc. And I say that as someone that's on a few of them. However, the rest of your post really rubbed me the wrong way. This entire list of talking points is played out. The "just talk to girls, girls love confidence" bullshit is old and done. And you seem to conflate confidence with just outright bragging on yourself.

ProjectD13X · 2020-05-19T04:50:09+00:00

I'm gonna make a statistically safe guess and say you've never spoofed your location to Saigon, Vietnam.

For a decently in shape, white, average Joe American, Vietnam really seems like easy mode.

aKaake · 2020-05-19T05:10:01+00:00

I’ve met a few actual decent people on these apps. You guys sound like a bunch of jackasses. Might be you 🤷🏻‍♀️

theonow · 2020-05-19T05:38:31+00:00

With the exception of bumble, most of the dating apps are owned by match: Tinder, Plenty of Fish, Hinge, OkCupid. This is why I'm tired of using them. I always am bad with these. Then, I realize why use them when they all benefit the same company? Especially, when the company is now being sued by the FCC.

BurnablesOnMondays · 2020-05-19T05:45:32+00:00

Acknowledged, but "in real life" meeting has its bullshit too. On top of having to entertain two or three girls simultaneously just to get one, while also competing against three other guys butting into your space and trying to talk over you, there's no profile info or silly pictures to make for good conversation starters and you can't maintain their attention for longer than 30 seconds anyway.

localhozt · 2020-05-19T10:21:10+00:00

nothing to add here. well written, well explained, I share your thoughts and couldn´t have phrased it any better! thank you for not being stupid

SveXteZ · 2020-05-19T10:23:32+00:00

I've read such posts many times and I think the logic behind it is wrong every time.

You're comparing dating apps against what? Against approaching women in clubs / outside? Against friends of friends?

I came from marketing/entrepreneurship and there you have to connect with your audience (girls) from different channels (social, search engine optimisation, email, word of mouth, conferences/events and so on), which if applied here would mean that Dating apps are just different channel to get to your audience.

If you're registered on some of them, you click for 10 mins per day and then move on with your daily routines, then what's wrong? You haven't spend much time and if you manage to get out 1 girl per month for 10 mins per day of efforts, then why not? What's the difference where you met that girl? Girls are the same everywhere, after all these are the same people.

My tactic with dating apps is: I click through some profiles for a few minutes per day, until I found good enough to give super like (tinder), then I way 24 hours for the next super like material. I match with 1-2 profiles per week with which I start chatting. After a few days (before the corona-shit) of chatting I'm on a date with one of them. I prefer to focus on up to two girls at a time, so I'm not losing focus - quality > quantity. And in this case dating apps are just another channel where I found girls to date.

It's not the best one there, it's shouldn't be the only one, it's just on of them. You could combine it with others.

dallaaaaas · 2020-05-19T15:25:53+00:00

I was 25 at the time. He was 31.

Spiritual-Lab · 2020-05-20T00:15:53+00:00

Im sorry that you had shit experience but it is what it is a dating app , just like real life it sucks, dont blame the apps, blame the girls, but for real , blame yourself

look_ahead8 · 2020-05-25T11:04:25+00:00

Everyone relies on apps too much. They are a waste of time. You can tell within seconds of meeting someone whether you are attracted to them or have any sort of connection. Why waste your time sending endless messages? People lie all the time and post pictures that are misleading. Instead of relying on apps we need to ask ourselves what are our insecurities and fix it. Hiding behind a computer is not going to fix it. Join a club, get outside and do something. You can meet people randomly doing things you enjoy. I've met so many friends at the gym and at university. Build your social circle. Guys on apps are never who they present themselves to be which resulted in lost time that I can't get back. Which is why i don't use apps from my experience i find lot's of insecure and unstable people. I enjoy communicating with others face to face versus online.

tsmithfi · 2020-05-18T20:58:58+00:00

You left out narcissist.

she-devi1 · 2020-05-18T21:19:22+00:00

Reading some of these comments as a woman is disgusting. "High value women", like what the fuck.

DexterDubs · 2020-05-18T23:16:37+00:00

I thought this was r/seduction not r/braincels

You guys have forgotten the definition of the subs name.

Yimot · 2020-05-18T18:49:49+00:00

Thank you man! I needed to read this

leeeeeeeroooooyyyyyy · 2020-05-18T19:13:38+00:00

Hot take. But honestly the girl at my work who is a 100/10 in looks and personality is on tinder. But you’re right she is the exception.

Cannelonni · 2020-05-18T19:23:10+00:00

Actually it depends. You can, rarely, find good girls but I think it also depends on the country you use it. Moreover you can make friends, and through them and their friends you can know more people and sometimes find love like that.

Depressedkid1998 · 2020-05-18T20:09:22+00:00

How the fuck do u get girls to not flake ?

I’ve talked to girls for 1 months, 2 months they all gave excuses.

I’ve tried sooner to not waste time 2-3 weeks or 1-2 weeks. Nope , excuse.

I’ve done it in the first 3 days and again more bullshit excuses even though convos are great and they answer fast, some of these girls i even sexted.

What the fuck help me please how do i fucking set up a date

opoxe · 2020-05-18T20:31:06+00:00

I used dating apps because I didn't have the time and the friends to go out. It helped me to get a sexual life, and I think that without it, maybe I could be still virgin. But now, I'm bored about these apps

MTMaharaja · 2020-05-18T19:38:55+00:00

Tbh...this might be one of the best post on reddit...like the whole dam website..cheers.

Kestrel887 · 2020-05-18T19:49:11+00:00

Well right now those apps are the sh*t.

Alex_O7 · 2020-05-18T20:10:25+00:00

I think a lot could change by what kind of girl you are looking for. If you want a deep connection with a girl you could find the right girl also on Tinder or other but, but in that case don't swipe right to Tinder-thot and too agreeable girl (at least that seems like that).

Also I think dating app should be used as a filler for moment when you can't go out (like this pandemic) not on regular base and to substitute irl with girls.

putcoolusernamehere · 2020-05-18T23:17:56+00:00

I view them as passive income. I'm not going to put much effort into them, but sometimes they'll generate returns. If you can optimize it to get those returns to the point where you have a satisfactory dating life, by all means use old as your only dating source. If you can't, or just want some added excitement in your daily life, give cold approach a go.

Sultmaker_9000 · 2020-05-18T23:30:08+00:00

A free warm hole is a free warm hole when its available. And the 2 times I got totally catfished by women who had doubled their body weight, I left after I finished my first drink at the bar, zero fucks , they are wasting my damn time, you should see the look on their faces when you're leaving after 15 minutes. I just go to somewhere nearby and see if I can run game on some other women if I have the time, and that's the attitude you should take.

I only take issue with men who can't do cold approach because they're too scared and think online dating is a crutch for them.

aKaake · 2020-05-19T05:00:26+00:00

You sound like an asshat. Good fucking luck trying to find anyone who would want to spend any time with you, dickbag

Bomby57 · 2020-05-19T12:35:01+00:00

I disagree, but it sounds like you've already made up your mind so I won't go through lengthy explanations. You just sound sexist.

Title	Dating apps are bullshit
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	611
Comments	216
Date	May 18, 2020 5:45 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/gm69a7/dating_apps_are_bullshit/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/dating-apps-are-bullshit.1495866 https://theredarchive.com/post/1495866

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