What is a traditional women in your view and is it feasible in modern times?

EulenWatcher · 2024-04-02T05:54:51+00:00

In a Russian context a traditional woman is a woman who works, does the majority of chores and childcare and pretty much shoulders most of responsibilities for a family. She might be not the most affectionate with her husband but she won’t divorce him even if he’s abusive or brings nothing to the table.

From my Asian point of view a traditional woman is a woman who is responsible for children and family members who need help. While she’s young, she doesn’t have much say but the older she gets, the more people listen to her opinion and quite often she rules the household although a man is supposed to be “the head”. He brings in money, she does the budgeting and controls finances. She probably works as well and she takes care of his parents and her parents. She’s extremely dedicated to her children.

In both context these women have kids. SAHMs aren’t very common but they do exist and women often take long maternity leaves. If we look even further in the past both women would be living on a farm and doing a good share of the job there.

I don’t think it’s entirely impossible for a modern couples to have either of these dynamics but most likely they’ll have to heavily downgrade their living standards especially if they want to have a bunch of kids. I also fail to see the appeal in it personally but everyone can have different preferences.

I do agree that it’s not the most practical choice - as long as you do not expect to get a new kid every other year, you don’t really need to stay home forever with your kids. Household chores also don’t take as much time as they used to. We don’t use child labor nor we live on farms to justify it from a practical point of view.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2024-04-02T11:21:01+00:00

I’m a little confused by the fact that you correctly point out that the cost of living in the US is relatively high compared to previous generations but then dismiss the costs associated with childcare, eating out instead of shopping and cooking, and spending more than the average health insurance premium on a cleaning lady.

WilliamWyattD · 2024-04-02T09:09:34+00:00

Traditional just means believing in gender roles and filling them to the extent possible. Women always did productive labor. There was a weird blip in the West where women did less productive labor than before, though the way we set up the nuclear family, the childcare labor they were doing was extra hard for the number of kids. But it soon became geopolitically uncompetitive not to exploit one's female human capital.

A couple that loves and respects one another should be putting in equal effort and sacrifice, period. Whatever situation you are in, you adapt. Equal effort should always be the overriding rule.

Schmurby · 2024-04-02T06:07:37+00:00

By and large, what are known as traditional gender roles come from our nearly universal human heritage of living in small farming communities for hundreds of generations.

When food comes from the ground that is worked by people, having lots of kids is not a lifestyle choice, it’s a matter of survival for the family and the community.

So, as a result, women were constantly pregnant which severely limited their freedom of choice. Women stayed home because that’s the only thing that made sense.

In a modern economy, food is purchased with money at stores, it does not out of the ground for the vast majority of people.

As technology constantly improves, brute strength is less and less in demand as well. Women are just as good at making money as men and can now do whatever they want.

Traditional gender roles die hard because some people are emotionally attached to them but they have outlived their usefulness and they will continue to decline.

Unless, of course, modern society collapses and we’ll all go back to farming. Which is possible.

claratheresa · 2024-04-02T07:15:29+00:00

“Does all unpaid labor”

There are always men looking for servants. Of course it is possible.

TheDerInDisorder · 2024-04-02T13:17:19+00:00

A traditional woman has feet like charred leather, dreadlocks decorated with twigs, and a bone in her nose. She can jog 40 miles a day with a baby on her back, read bird-sign with eerie accuracy, and will someday wear an antelope skull we decided is god after eating some strange frogs.

mrs_seng · 2024-04-02T06:31:30+00:00

Traditional woman: has a full time white collar job, only she cleans the house, cooks, does laundry, ironing, dishes, all chores, helps with repairs, taking care of the children, is either beaten by the husband or cheated on.

Modern woman: has a full time white collar job, shares chores, cooking, cleaning, washing dishes, raising children with her husband. Will not accept being beaten or cheated on.

Basically: a traditional wife is a doormat. A modern woman is an equal.

spanglesandbambi · 2024-04-02T07:18:30+00:00

A housewife who is a woman who doesn't work and takes care of the home.

No, it's not really feasible for most as two incomes are needed really in the current climate.

The issue is that even when a woman works, some men expect the women to take care of the house and cook while working. No thanks sir if we are split bulls 50/50, then we split chords 50/50.

Planthoe30 · 2024-04-02T06:01:20+00:00

On this sub traditional refers to those who believe in a patriarchal marriage system. Women are more focused on home making, childcare and adhere to their “gender role.” Men are the provider/protector.

Lol I considered myself “modern traditional.” I chose to work, but will decrease to part time (3 days a week) once kids are in the picture and will take on most of the household responsibilities. My husband will be the provider. I can’t see myself being completely jobless I’d lose my mind, but my work schedule would be planned around my husbands so our children would be raised by our family. I could phase out of work completely if i decide and I might. We have more of a partnership and do not adhere to classic gender roles. I think modern traditional just means that you change a few things to fit your families lifestyle and embrace equality that came with the feminist movement.

Fantastic-Age-5598 · 2024-04-02T06:01:35+00:00

Traditional is a woman who cooks and cleans and care for the kids while the dad(breadwinner) provides.

Being Traditional is a lifestyle that couples can still adopt in modern times in western societies. It's a choice today, that can still work.

However, women like myself, who is not Traditional, prefers to not be a house servant or maid. Nor am I submissive. My husband makes 6 figures, I make less than him, but I'm not bowing on my knees to be submissive. If he wasn't no longer able to work then I'd take care of him financially even though he has a pension. But he might tell me no. I'd still chip in like I do now. Having my own money makes me feel like a sense of accomplishment and pride, so i like having my own money too.

Anyways, I don't really cook nor clean, I mean I clean after myself, but not deep cleaning. Husband cooks and grocery shops. He loves it too, so I don't see the problem

Housekeeper

Chef(husband)

Dual incomes

I love being a modern woman in a modern world with my modern husband....to each their own....

Legitimate_Type_1324 · 2024-04-02T07:44:16+00:00

A traditional woman hasn't been feasible since the 60's.

A traditional woman was a woman that had to keep the house running because the husband was grinding his ass at the factory all day. She was playing support, ensuring the husband was relaxed, well fed and a clean house to back to.

No one wants that these days.

First, women aren't going to become financially dependent of a man (that earns fuck all) and they want to work. It's absolute nonsense to spend your days doing fuck all at home because these days we have washing machines, cleaning robots, dishwashers, convenient food.

Second, we're not having children. We put our money and time in other things.

Third, men don't want to get divorce raped by gold diggers. If she works as much as you do, you don't have to support her if shit goes down.

Fourth, combined incomes these days are necessary unless you're rich.

The only dudes wanting a traditional wife are the loosers who need a mommy and can't stand women are at their performance level or higher. Or the guys that have enough money to not give a fuck.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-04-02T13:36:33+00:00

60 years ago in the US was still a segregated south, a veitnam war and hippies and black panthers (and not the Wakanda kind).

HomeworkFew2187 · 2024-04-02T07:08:32+00:00

no unless your rich.Both parties will be working.If the breadwinner has a emergency or even expires.. You or the family could be in trouble.Don't put all your eggs in one basket.

CloudsTasteGeometric · 2024-04-03T23:42:08+00:00

At this point I don't know who is more entitled? "Traditional" women demanding a work free life and the assumption of a free house (regardless of economic realities) or Men seeking "Traditional" women who they can neglect and abuse in the name of "feminine subservience."

Traditionalism is a cancer upon society. And this isn't a novel observation.

januaryphilosopher · 2024-04-02T09:48:03+00:00

If we're considering the actual majority of people (the working class) here, she's a woman who works along with looking after her home and family. Not much has changed in that regard today.

Ok-Dust-4156 · 2024-04-02T07:08:38+00:00

Non-existing fantasy. "Traditional woman" never existed in real world.

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2024-04-02T09:55:20+00:00

If you want more than one child, or even kne child, a stay at home parent would be much cheaper than a cleaner, childcare and eating at resteraunts every meal.

AutoModerator · 2024-04-02T05:42:27+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

TheCounsellingGamer · 2024-04-02T09:39:22+00:00

In my (Western) view a traditional woman would be someone who's primary role is in the home. The man goes out to work to financially provide for the family, and the woman stays home to look after said family. When the kids get older she might have a part time job during school hours to bring some extra money in.

I don't think there's anything wrong with the above scenario. For some people that's what they're happy with and that's fine. I think it's harder nowadays to achieve a decent standard of living on only one income. We could probably survive on just my partner's income but our standard of living would take a hit. With 2 incomes we don't have to massively stress over money. We're not rolling in it but we can comfortably pay all our bills, put some in savings, and have a bit of fun money.

CraftyCooler · 2024-04-02T11:10:59+00:00

In polish context it looks like this(though it is a rare arrangement nowadays):

Woman stays at home and takes care of children, does cooking etc.
Man is expected to provide for family and maintain at least middle class living standard - this means: buy or build a house, buy a car, pay for vacation, nice clothes, gadgets etc.
Usually it means that man have to run his own business and spend almost whole life at work. 10-15 years ago it was also achievable via emigration - but wage difference is no longer high enough to allow such lifestyle.
Such arrangement is usually popular only among blue collar people - woman is not risking any career impact because there is no career.

Safinated · 2024-04-02T12:57:49+00:00

SAHM with strict gender roles

Of course it’s still around

Willow-girl · 2024-04-02T13:13:11+00:00

It's really hard when both people work full-time because there's no one to take up the slack, especially when there are kids in the mix.

Of course, having one person stay home or work only part-time only pays off if that person is actually being a homemaker or otherwise contributing to the good of the order, and not just spending the day playing video games or running off to appointments to get their nails done and have lunch with their friends.

WANT_SOME_HAM · 2024-04-02T21:16:29+00:00

I'm picturing a woman dressed like John Wilkes Boothe who's constantly falling into swoons and will fucking die if you don't take her to The Country right now

ComfortableOk5003 · 2024-04-03T01:06:57+00:00

Not gonna lie this thread should be locked for all the misandrist bullshit…I think I wore out my report button

cuteTroublexo · 2024-04-03T05:01:06+00:00

The idea of someone else raising my baby sounds awful! Omg! What's the point of being a mother if not to be there for your child, especially for all the firsts? First smile, first burp, first fart, first shart, first giggle, hiccup, nap time, cry, first word, etc etc. Boobs are for breastfeeding and you're not going to use them to feed your baby? The best thing for them? What? The best part of being a woman is the ability to carry and nurture life.

Yes it's feasible. My bf makes 6 figures, not 800k but just enough to where we could live comfortably and save for things. We have a baby on the way and I would be staying at home once it is born. I only make 28k a year and that's not really going to make any substantial difference on my bf's income, whether I keep working or not. We won't have a yacht or a 2 million dollar home, but we'll have a roof over our heads and food in our bellies, our bills paid for and money on the side for our hobbies and interests.

My best friend is a SAHM in Oklahoma and her man makes much less than my man does, however they're able to have the dynamic they have. Cost of living in OK is much lower than what it is here in CA. They're not married yet on paper, so my friend is able to use some social services, like food stamps, and state government healthcare. It helps them. I know a lot of moms in CA here who do the same-- they put off marriage to collect benefits from social programs, and it's not a bad idea! Work smart, not hard! Lol! Cooking from home saves a bunch of money vs. eating out all the time! Penny pinch where you can, if you can.

full_brick_package · 2024-04-03T05:03:58+00:00

Traditional woman = May as well be an Amish wife.

No offense, but that's not my scene. I respect it, but typically when it's literally the Amish doing it.

Ok_Net9926 · 2024-04-03T13:28:00+00:00

It’s always a risk no matter what, once they get a taste there’s no going back unless you can provide the other dimensions too

CauliflowerElegant76 · 2024-04-02T11:32:23+00:00

I don’t consider myself a full on traditional woman but I do like traditional gender roles. Being a full traditional woman would include staying at home to take care of her husband and/or kids which is not feasible for most women. Even though I don’t plan on staying home full time (I’d like to have a part time job at the very least), I still prefer traditional gender roles and I think that’s what works best for many relationships.

Personally, I naturally lean into my feminine roles such as cooking, cleaning, taking care of others, being submissive. My boyfriend leans into his masculine roles - he’s an amazing protector, leader, good at renovating and fixing things, can do yard work like chopping wood, etc. Even if both of us work, we would still wanna stick to our traditional gender roles. We both would like for him to be the main or sole provider but that’s not an option where we live because of the cost of living.

The reason I hesitate to label myself as a traditional woman is because I’m not going to be baking sourdough bread while he works all day. However, I still have conservative and traditional values so maybe that does make me a modern day traditional woman. Either way, my bf and I seem to view our relationship as traditional and it’s something we both value. I see him as a traditional man and he sees me as a traditional woman.

SupposedlySapiens · 2024-04-02T14:22:38+00:00

Perhaps we need to significantly alter our economic system so that a family can live off one income as it used to. Why should both partners have to work? Why is forced labor for all the world so many of you seem to want to live in?
Why tf would I ever pay strangers to care for my child? That’s utterly insane to me. I would never let some minimum wage rando be one of my child’s primary caregivers. I don’t plan on having children, but if I did, their mother would be their primary caregiver, just as it has always been throughout human history.
Are you really questioning the value of a good home-cooked meal? Cooking is an act of love, and home-cooked meals are generally healthier than ones at restaurants. Cooking also isn’t that hard. I cook most of my meals at home despite having “an abundance of great tasting restaurants” nearby.
Why would I spend $200/week paying someone to clean? I’m single right now and do all the cleaning myself, it’s really not that bad. If I had a SAHW wife whose only responsibility was caring for the home, I really don’t think expecting her to clean is asking too much. Especially since I have no problem helping as well.

M3taBuster · 2024-04-02T16:14:28+00:00

For traditional gender roles to be fair, unless the housewife/SAHM had multiple kids to take care of that aren't in school yet, she'd need to be doing literally everything except providing the income. That includes not just cooking and cleaning, but also shopping/groceries, decorating, finances, errands, scheduling, event planning, etc. She needs to be doing 40 hrs of work every week, which is typically enough time to cover all of those things.

She also needs to have the understanding that it is simply inevitible that you will be living a slightly less lavish lifestyle with a traditional dynamic than if you had two incomes, even if you used some of the extra income to outsource household duties. But especially if you held on to all of that extra income and did all the household duties yourselves (though at that point, you're no longer comparing apples to oranges cuz you'll each have less free time).

TheRedPillRipper · 2024-04-02T06:37:46+00:00

What would a modern traditional women look like?

Personally, it’s someone with a complimentary, open and collaborative mindset. As opposed to an oppositional one. Conflict is a part of life. Working together. Communicating. Compromising. Isn’t being subservient. For either party. My wife is a staunch feminist. Yet she agrees that no organisation pays men, more than women. That’s keeping an open mind, despite her ingrained views.

Work. Chores. Even child raring. Are all secondary, to the above. My wife and I aren’t perfect. However, for the most, we lead a fairly happy life.

2024-04-02T06:52:56+00:00

A woman to whom I am accountable for her well-being.

Devilishz3 · 2024-04-02T10:04:15+00:00

A traditional woman doesn't exist unless you're wealthy which is a very small % of men. It'll be the same as the old days except she also has a job and you'll share household duties and child rearing.

So yes it is code for wanting their life provided for because they should be smart enough to know it's not too realistic these days depending on lifestyle/kids. As for Chinese specific customs, the girls can ask for it if they fulfil their role that came with it. Issue is they're picking and choosing when to benefit from trad but not being trad themselves much like every non culturally specific expectation. Raw deal. Never accept it.

SlowEffective8146 · 2024-04-02T09:30:15+00:00

Cooks
Cleans
Maintains the inside of the house
Childrears
Virgin until marriage

The only one that isn't really feasible is being a virgin until marriage in 2024. And men are still expected to uphold 100% of their trad role so they're literally just getting a worse deal than their grandfathers.

Independent-Mail-227 · 2024-04-02T11:42:25+00:00

The fact women think that being traditional is something done solely out actions and not out of values held and choices made is slowly making me happy that dating is being thrown in the wood chipper feet first.

2024-04-02T13:56:18+00:00

[permanently deleted]

ThrowawayCactus6012 · 2024-04-02T11:26:06+00:00

Yes, this is very very common when dating in Beijing for you (your family) to be able to purchase a house in Beijing (atleast the down payment 400k USD).

I guess China is not as communist as they used to be. I'm not sure what "traditional" would mean in that context.

In the West, a key difference what is regarded as "modern times" versus "tradition" does not seem to relate directly gender roles, but more a matter of civic and social responsibility. For example, back during WW2, "Rosie the Riveter" was a symbol for a generation of women who wanted to do their part for their country. They wanted to be valued for their contributions to society, which is as about as "traditional" as one can get.

They understood the general principle that "we're all in this together," but it's that idea which has largely fallen by the wayside in more modern times.

Long-Manufacturer990 · 2024-04-02T14:12:41+00:00

Never had any kind of casual fling or promiscuis phase, has a limited amount of sexual partners, has never consumed drugs and doesnt drink in excess. She makes clear from the begining that she is looking for a comitted relationship. When married if she works she is not hyperfocused or prioritizes her career and doesnt work long hours, the man is the head of the household and main provider. When the babys come she takes care of them full time and never a nany. When she works she doesnt have to cook or clean obviously.

I dont know much about chinese culture.

Gilmoregirlin · 2024-04-02T16:29:25+00:00

She does not work outside of the home, or if she does it's a part time job that is not part of the breadwinning equation. She takes care of everything in the household, cooking, cleaning, throwing parties, arranging appointments, etc. She packs her husband's lunch and her kids. She accepts the man as the head of household and is subservient to him.

Ok-Acanthisitta4600 · 2024-04-02T06:53:22+00:00

27F - My man is the provider and pays the bills. I work as well but my income is for myself. I let him make the major decisions and lead the direction of the household. Most things still go my way I “play dumb but act smart” I.e. bend things my way while my man keeps the impression he’s “the man of the house”. Key factor is finding the right man who has a “provider mindset” and finds joy in taking care of his woman. He wants the remove the financial burden from my life so I can be in my feminine energy and relax. It helps that I have a high sex drive - I keep his stomach full and balls empty. Not having to worry about money honestly makes me more receptive to sex - so I make sure to reward him by blowing him daily and being a “submissive girl”. I’m able to get things I want by tempting him. I.e. “This king sized bed will give us more room to roll around 😛”, or “I’d be in such a good girl for you if you take us to Hawaii for a month 🌺”. = free furniture & vacations paid. Men think with their 🍆 it’s really that simple, women can control a man easily if they understand this.

Meanwhile my investments are growing since my income doesn’t go towards household bills. I still work full time - so I’ll always have my own money just in case. But it’s nice to know I can leave a toxic boss whenever cuz I have a man as a safety net. I can be pickier when choosing a position or even exit the workforce entirely once I hit certain financial goals.

boom-wham-slam · 2024-04-02T10:39:09+00:00

Traditional is a woman who cooks cleans and takes care of kids and takes care of her man.

To me this is essential because I'm a man I don't cook or clean and I'm not going to be Mr mom and I do demand sex when I want it. Plus why do I want some other man bossing my woman around? That's my job. Ha.

Title	What is a traditional women in your view and is it feasible in modern times?
Author	DFVSoldHisOptions
Upvotes	7
Comments	161
Date	April 2, 2024 5:42 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1btr2nx/what_is_a_traditional_women_in_your_view_and_is/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-is-a-traditional-women-in-your-view-and-is-it.1513797 https://theredarchive.com/post/1513797

Comments