What should we do about men approaching way less woman than back in the day?

Electric_Death_1349 · 2024-10-20T15:43:46+00:00

If your friends “seemingly don’t care” then what’s the issue? If they are indeed representative of Gen Z, then why does anything need to be done?

PlainTundra · 2024-10-20T15:10:32+00:00

Nothing?

Maractop · 2024-10-20T15:32:48+00:00

Nothing can be done. Women are still getting the men they want so they dont care

Guys dont approach women IRL like that because 9 out of 10 times it doesnt work. Also most guys arent the type of man women want to be approached by anyway. I used to do it but stopped mainly for the reason I mentioned last. I think i seen a study that said 45% of young men have never done it before so what you are talking about isnt that uncommon. Dating is easier for the men that its always been easy for. For the rest its harder than ever

Prcrstntr · 2024-10-20T17:15:44+00:00

I don't think women play their role correctly either. The ones that do still get asked out regularly. Everyone remembers that men are supposed to act and ask out the women however everyone seems to forget that the women are supposed to make themselves available and show interest where it is wanted.

Instead they don't. The lessons, sometimes semi-formal ones in church or school that used to be taught to girls are skipped. Boys are still told by society their role, and everyone knows it. And so men are supposed to be mind readers even more than in the past. This leads to many brave or foolish attempts at asking a woman out that end in failure and vilification of the average man.

PMmeareasontolive · 2024-10-20T16:53:51+00:00

I don't think it's lower testosterone. It may lower some in your late 20s but not drastically. 2. It's fascinating, if true, that your local cohort is not interested in dating or sex. Where in the world are you? Weren't you raised w/ the idea that having a family is the goal of your existence? If, as a group, you've gotten a different message, something like "it's not a big deal to be in a relationship, there are ups and downs", or, "you don't need to be with a woman to be happy", then that is sociologically fascinating to see if there's a change in group behavior en masse.
What should be done? Nothing. It's actually liberating to tell men that they don't need to be with women in order to be happy,, or complete, etc.

cast-away-ramadi06 · 2024-10-20T20:25:13+00:00

If we want more men approaching women in the pursuit of marriage to have children, then we need to raise the rewards and/or lower the costs.

From what I can tell, a lot of young men believe the rewards don't justify the costs, specifically the risks. I think reforming divorce laws will go a long way, but there's a lot of personal growth needed from both young men and young women to align to each other's needs.

OnThatSigmaGrindset · 2024-10-20T15:15:34+00:00

they don't approach because they don't want to be seen as creeps. the current climate is that women want to be left alone and if you approach them you're a creep or you got an ulterior motive.

MotleyCrew1989 · 2024-10-20T23:39:14+00:00

Make women great again.

As you said, the older you get, the less horny you are, so sex no longer takes that much priority when looking for a woman. And lets be honest, a LOT of women dont have that much to offer besides sex, specially if you dont want kids. Add to that than their expectations are through the roof (they deny that of course) and you will find yourself being way more in peace at home, with a beer in one hand and in front of a screen than catering to a womans needs to get some pussy.

Immediate-Fox5446 · 2024-10-20T18:23:04+00:00

People always making this complaint seems to forget an issue: you can’t be offended on the behalf of someone/ or see an issue where someone doesn’t see one.

There is nothing to fix for them. The day I will see the exact same white feminist women with the « I don’t owe society anything but society should only care about me » come forward and asks for changes, then yes in this case there will be an issue to fix.

Your average woman on r/PurplePillDebate, r/TwoXChromosomes, r/AskFeminists, r/NotHowGirlswork is not affected by men not approaching her. She is a woman with a hivemind mindset and tells you that she will take death over a man approaching her.

I will also spare you the whole « I avoid making eye contact with men because they are ugly » crowd.

In short, what you are talking about is a non issue.

Main_Aside_3072 · 2024-10-20T18:24:26+00:00

I think the following is also affecting dating and relationships in a equal or greater level than feminism/mensright:

1.- Men have lower testosterone levels. The main theory is that microplastics are damaging the genitals. Testosterone is what drives men's desire to have sex and form relationships with women and also is a great emotional regulator (it helps to deal with negative emotions like rejection) , and is also worrying because men with low testosterone tend to have issues with fertility.

2.- Social skills are being completely destroyed, which is quite worrying. Beyond sex and dating, things like friendships, professional connections, and creating a friendly, comfortable social environment are also being threatened.

3.- Technology aswell is making people more content with their life, and that's in no small part because it helps spred toxic mysoginisty/misandristic ideas.

If society tackle those issues men approaching women would probably go back to a "normal" level as a side effect, but mental health improving would be the main result.

LostWanderer88 · 2024-10-21T12:04:30+00:00

Why bother? If you are unattractive she will already show zero interest in you

BetterString9306 · 2024-10-21T00:21:05+00:00

Good. Men need to stop approaching. Women already get way too much attention.

Artistic_Speech_1965 · 2024-10-20T19:27:44+00:00

That's a good question. I think it's a "old standards new dynamic" situation. We can't expect people to behave the right way since they act for their own interest. I will say virtual distraction is more prevalent than before so the separation will increase

AidsVictim · 2024-10-20T22:15:19+00:00

Is there a solution for this?

Under socialization and/or mal socialization is the root cause of low pairing rates and family formation so if you could fix that it would mostly fix those issues. But to answer your question no, there isn't. The typical redditor, which is sadly representative of a increasingly large amount of the public, is a social and societal nihilist. There's nothing you can tell them that would convince them to turn things around - among the general public few would accept the drastic societal shifts needed to bring about a reorientation towards healthy social development, not even counting the ones with the redditor mindset who just want to push the gas pedal down harder.

Or Am I experiencing something in my own little corner of the world and is the general population dating and having sex more than ever before?

The general population is definitely more single and having less sex than before, studies and stats show this pretty clearly.

RycerzKwarcowy · 2024-10-22T08:43:15+00:00

If you're a feminist: be happy. You wanted equality: you're going to get it. On average, men still approach women way more often than other way around, so men need to approach even less.

Exciting-Parfait-776 · 2024-10-20T17:15:31+00:00

Have women approach more men or go with arranged marriages 🤷🏻‍♂️

Nellylocheadbean · 2024-10-20T18:46:14+00:00

Nothing. I don’t think most ppl believe this is a big enough issue to address outside of reddit.

ProfessorOilNGas · 2024-10-20T16:23:54+00:00

It sounds like you run in a statistically unlikely group.

But more to the point. If I were a woman, I would not settle for a man as unattractive in so many ways as chronic loserguys.

I've been interested in trying to provide self-analysis tools to spare those who will never be able to make it romantically at least part of the pain chasing the unobtainable. What those on the bottom of the Sexual Market Value (SMV) end up with simply will not fit the bill if our threshold of attraction is too high. In other words, if you got caviar tastes and a pizza face, you WILL NOT EVER attract a person you find attractive.

This bitter pill must be swallowed, and the earlier the better. I think alot of the unfortunate anti-woman rhetoric one hears here comes from men suffering some kind of psychic hernia wherein they aren't facing up to the fact that, in this life at least, they will never attract a woman they find attractive. Happily, I think there is a small body of older guys with good advice to give. I'm not saying it's all good, but sound, unemotional acceptance of reality is the strong suit of age. Blaming women for being attracted to who they are attracted to, calling them shallow or worse, when it ain't you, and all the other related mysogynistic blather are bleeding these guys of time and happiness.

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ObfuscatedSecret42 · 2024-10-20T17:09:41+00:00

The answer is quite simple. Nothing. You're the one worrying about others when they don't even care themselves.

In theorie dating should be easier then ever. More choice, all digital.

Why do these things make dating easier in theory? More choice means a mediocre person is much less appealing. Also, staring at a screen all day is hardly a substitute for real social interaction.

obviousredflag · 2024-10-20T18:06:25+00:00

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This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

TopShelfSnipes · 2024-10-21T04:38:16+00:00

There is no single solution for this. The men who are struggling need to adopt a holistic plan that includes all of the below:

Physical self-improvement. Must meet or exceed a baseline standard of looks that is "decent"/"nonrepulsive" - somewhere between slim to Dad bod (not scrawny or fat), clean skin, decently dressed, somewhat fit, showered, with a presentable haircut and facial hair, and some semblance of a personal style that is congruous with who they are.
Establish basic value. Gainfully employed. Lives not with his parents. Pays own bills. Not dependent on others for basic necessities. Can get to and home from a date by himself.
Establish social competence. Learn how to tell a story, develop wit/humor, learn how to read body language and social cues, and develop basic flirting skills.
Establish social value. Have friends and hobbies. Do interesting things occasionally. Be comfortable doing things alone. Have non-work goals and pursue them. Be social in the course of your day-to-day life. Go to happy hour. Go out for drinks with your softball team after the game. Make plans with your friends. Put yourself in situations where you are around people.
Leverage social and potentially professional networks to meet interesting women.
Maintain an online presence of some kind. This is strictly supplemental so you keep in the habit of messaging/contacting people even if the success rate is low. Look at this as secondary.
Be open but guarded about what you're looking for when you meet someone. Practice this line: "I am looking to meet an interesting, like-minded woman who enjoys some of the same things I do, but brings a unique perspective to my life, and see where things can go." This statement establishes you have value, describes what you are looking for without using cliches like "soul mate" or "partner in crime" and simultaneously presents a challenge to a woman who is potentially considering you as a mate. DO NOT answer this question with "marriage and kids" or "a long term relationship" even if that is your actual goal. When you are single, your goal is not a wife. Your goal is a girlfriend. A girl has to become your girlfriend before she can become your wife. One step at a time, tiger.
Approaching - employ a mix of cold and warm approaches. Cold approaches - read body language, don't blatantly interrupt someone walking past you on the street, or who clearly doesn't want to talk. Don't lead with "Hi you're beautiful can I have your number/a date" - lead with a witty/funny comment, an observation, or a question that's context dependent and see if she seems open to talking. If she's not open to talking, just excuse yourself, or nod and walk away. No biggie. If she seems open to talking, talk to her. Have a good conversation. If you vibe, ask for her contact info (do not say 'number') at the end AFTER you affirm the conversation by saying you enjoyed it and it'd be a shame if you two never spoke again. If she says no, you just had a good conversation with someone you find attractive and did well. Pat yourself on the back and do it again, with a little more confidence because you proved you can do it. Warm approaches - the right tactic will depend on the woman you're interested in (I deliberately don't say pursuing), but a mix of flirting, earnest asking out, and being socially competent generally yields best results. Never EVER tell a woman you have "feelings" for her in an approach. This should only be done within a relationship. You don't have feelings, numbnuts...you have curiosity and interest. If you're going to "confess" anything to a woman you're interested in, confess curiosity and interest. That's it. That's how you avoid being a simp.
Stick with the above. Above all, keep multiple options open at a given time and maintain a pipeline. This will prevent you from putting anyone on a pedestal, and from obsessing over one person too early in the process. Give attention to those who reciprocate, move on quickly from those who don't.

Following ALL of the above is the only way to truly maintain a balanced dating strategy. Yes, it takes effort, but you're trying to find the ONE person you want to spend the rest of your life with, it's never going to be as easy as logging into Amazon and clicking Buy Now (and yes, that was a shot at the passport bros).

Feisty_Response_9401 · 2024-10-21T14:24:03+00:00

If they has the high libido and desire to date, they would at least try. They don't, so what is the problem?

Let people live their lives and face the consequences of their decisions. Having a partner is also not free of consequences and bad outcomes.

Punch_Drunk_AA · 2024-10-21T20:13:07+00:00

You all need "girl-bros" AKA platonic girlfriends.

I'm really serious about that platonic part too, these ladies are off limits to all romantic engagement. You two need to be in a genuine friendship that fosters honest communication from her. She needs to be able to tell you hard truths, and call you on your bullshit when necessary. She's not pimp though, you have to be seriously looking for LTR when you ask her for help. If your just trying to get laid, hit the bar.

Almost every serious girlfriend I even had in my life, started out as an introduction from my lifelong girl-bro. When she's a true friend, she can find someone in her friend group that will mesh with you. This saves the other potential girlfriend a lot of doubts regarding you. Ideally, you and her will have a headstart, as your relationship is "sanctioned" by a mutually trusted friend.

She will also be able to screen out the nefarious girls that are only interested in taking advantage of you. (Likewise, you should helping her when needed.)

*Bonus tip. If you can find a "Gay-bro" that magnificent bastard will open a personal buffet of options to your front door.

Obviously, all of this only works if you are a legitimate good man. Don't make anybody have to lie for you.

MyLastBestChance · 2024-10-20T22:33:15+00:00

Nothing. We should do nothing. Praise the lord and pass the gravy.

Men believing that approaching total strangers solely because they want to have sex with them is a good idea should never have been normalized in the first place. It certainly wasn’t a normal practice throughout the vast majority of history, it was a hedonistic blip that should die out already.

apresonly · 2024-10-20T17:12:31+00:00

Nothing. Men approaching stranger women was a blip in human history. Generally this has never been normal.

rustlerhuskyjeans · 2024-10-20T17:08:58+00:00

Your libido doesn’t drop significantly enough in your 20s. Sounds like you’re just comfortable not worrying about women. You could break this cycle by starting. Unless you’re a total weirdo troll you can just keep talking to women that seem interested to do so and you’ll get girls. Go to bars where the single ones are at, ask them on dates. People just get happy being alone and forget about the opposite sex, seems to happen a bunch.

Cactaceaemomma · 2024-10-20T22:12:41+00:00

It's okay to be celibate if it makes you happy.

nxte · 2024-10-20T23:26:55+00:00

It’s because boys are too domesticated today. Like a dog with its nuts cut off.

Wyerie · 2024-10-21T00:44:51+00:00

I'm a different generation (X), and you're over-thinking this. There wasn't some golden age of men approaching women, it was just a strategy advocated by PUA's in the 00s. And it was a strategy based on the idea that most men didn't actually just go up and ask women for dates, so if you did you'd actually get some success. Men not asking women out was the norm, and remains the norm. The basic idea is still correct, if you don't ask you don't get.

epicgamergamingtime · 2024-10-21T01:33:31+00:00

The key things that are different now are dating apps and loss of affordable hang out spaces people in their twenties can go to. People were also much more inclined to go to those places because media wasnt as entertaining back then.

So demonize media and make gathering places affordable and sociable.

kvakerok_v2 · 2024-10-20T16:28:39+00:00

Why would we do anything about it? I teach my kids and anyone else willing to listen the basics of the game, everyone else is not my problem. You can lead the horse to the water, but you can't make it have the future you want it to have.

Ok-Dust-4156 · 2024-10-20T17:16:03+00:00

Easy. You should just approach women more often. Any other solution in the end can be reduced to exactly that.

KGmagic52 · 2024-10-20T20:59:37+00:00

If you're a woman: approach more. If you're a man: approach more.

Windmill_flowers · 2024-10-20T18:06:57+00:00

We should shame males as being cowards for not approaching

Goonerlouie · 2024-10-20T20:32:51+00:00

I will never understand men who don’t try and get laid regularly. It’s actually one of the most beneficial hobbys you could have

Title	What should we do about men approaching way less woman than back in the day?
Author	gudinn
Upvotes	1
Comments	131
Date	October 20, 2024 1:41 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1g7yywm/what_should_we_do_about_men_approaching_way_less/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-should-we-do-about-men-approaching-way-less.1533061 https://theredarchive.com/post/1533061

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