The honeymoon phase is the only enjoyable part of a relationship

Siukslinis_acc · 2024-11-21T10:13:54+00:00

This is 'Love' as people refer to.

Nah. It's infatuation.

Love is being still caring about the person even if they have flaws (though there are limits). Love requires sacrifice.

Like, your baby constantly screams, barely gives you alone time or sleep time, yet you still love them and cherish them.

Love is deeper than the dopamine hit.

TermAggravating8043 · 2024-11-21T09:39:05+00:00

Nah, the honeymoon stage is great, no arguments there, but you can’t beat the feeling of home, safety and support that comes from loving someone over a length of time so much that you embrace their faults as they take on yours too.

Coming home from a shitty day at work, worrying about your sick parents and what’s going on in the world snd just having just having someone that you absolutely love the smell of giving you a kiss and a cuddle just makes life a little bit better

rubberbandshooter13 · 2024-11-21T10:22:36+00:00

I still get a dopamine kick when I see my GF after five years. That's nonsense. Plus, in a good relationship, you also have something like a friendship with your partner and get along even if you don't count the romantic part

pence_secundus · 2024-11-21T09:32:30+00:00

Lmao maybe for your purple pill relationship, every day is great with my wife.

NiaNia-Data · 2024-11-21T09:04:08+00:00

Well for one this is pessimistic. There are lots of relationships that go well past two years. My great grandparents have been married for 50.

If your only interest in a relationship is that addictive dopamine hit and you justify switching partners to chase that you are a junkie. If that is your mindset your are selfish.

Desperate_Coat_5244 · 2024-11-21T09:14:53+00:00

Nah, this is not what happens with a person you actually love. The so called honeymoon phase just deepens and deepens because you learn more about your partner and your bond strengthens.

kochIndustriesRussia · 2024-11-21T09:27:19+00:00

This is nonsense.

What you are describing happens when two people choose to stick it out after realizing that they don't really like each other that much. While I agree that practice has become common, it certainly is not an experience shared by every couple.

Some people laugh together for decades; i.e. the "honeymoon phase" never ends. It is sad to me that you don't know anyone living a coupled life without a honeymoon phase. Sad for everyone, really.

We have gotten to the place now where most folks think fighting is normal in relationships. Just sad.

reusableteacup · 2024-11-21T10:16:27+00:00

Would hate to think like this. Ive been with my partner three years already and if anything I like him more and more as we grow. Hes my best friend, the relationship is not the honeymoon phase its the awesome partnership you get to experience life with

Ok_Return170 · 2024-11-21T09:05:08+00:00

Thats because most people are stupid sex obsessed with the Idea that they need to date someone or they Will die. They enter relationships without knowing someone, they met the person already with the intention of dating, try to jump from strangers to partners after only 3 dates (and I'm being generous).

If people want a loving and cariying relationship they should work in building a friendship first, and I'm not talking about being that guy who befriends a girl Just to try and ask her to date later, no I'm talking about making friends like a normal person and after like 2 years wonder If you would make a good couple and talk about It.

But that Is Impossible for most cause all they want is the status that being in a relationship brings, they want the right to say they love someone, to go in dates, to show off their partner to family and friends and have easy sex. They dont want a romantic relationship and they dont want a marriage, this is why everyone divorces so much, they literally are desesperate to fit in the social expectation.

MongoBobalossus · 2024-11-21T10:39:50+00:00

This sounds like the bitter rationalization of a man who got dumped.

Termodynamicslad · 2024-11-21T11:16:55+00:00

I'm with my wife for 12 years, i'm still enjoying it.

Is it as intense as the beggining? No. Is it bad? Absolutely not.

serpensmercurialis · 2024-11-21T12:35:31+00:00

The honeymoon phase IS the relationship. Once that ends, you just have two people who get on relatively well, but don't have the same level of attraction to one another as before and ultimately, the relationship is headed south hereon in.

I’m going to put it like this: if a girl is mid to kind of unattractive but will do something you find exciting in bed, are you more or less able to deal with her attractiveness level in the moment? New energy is exciting. Excitement fades and there will always be a high at the start, but what you are describing where it falls off so dramatically that you may as well break up is what happens when you’re dating someone who isn’t very attractive to you. Date someone attractive and you will still want to be around after the honeymoon.

attendquoi · 2024-11-21T14:05:20+00:00

Nah, I've been with my husband overall for almost 16 years and I love him just as much as the first day I said the words. I think you just choose poorly.

AntiHypergamist · 2024-11-21T16:06:50+00:00

That is infatuation you are describing not love. Clear difference

fredwester · 2024-11-21T10:35:00+00:00

Nonsense for me. Four years in and life with my wife gets better every day. She's went from someone who I think is hot and cool, to being someone who I think is hot and cool and is also my best mate. The passion is more intense, not less.

I'll grant you this though: yeah, in most previous relationships about 18 months was my limit before I'd get bored. But that's just dating innit - it's how you find out if someone is right for you in the longterm or not.

jannuuu99 · 2024-11-21T10:19:18+00:00

Wtf 🤨 I have my partner which means I have someone who gets me 99% of the time, I can rant to them, talk about what nonsense this world is, he makes us food, I keep our House clean, both of us can get help with everyday mundane tasks, of course there is sex If we feel up to it, financial part of life is better, he can arrange the cars and home to be in good condition, I arrange the bills and whatever there is that pisses him the fuck off and vice versa 🤣 so shortly, we have someone to share our lives with, who makes it worth living and easier, and we are both still quite in love too, after Five years ❤️ of course everybody has flaws, but you have to choose a person where + outweighs the - for you. And attraction is also important, that for me at least doesnt come from a sixpack so to say. So yeah, right partner - totally worth it to be in a relationship. (Woman here)

jha_avi · 2024-11-21T10:37:06+00:00

You should watch a movie called "good will hunting". The movie in part discusses this topic. The flaws don't mean you would lose interest or attraction. My first crush had crooked teeth. It didn't make her attractive to others but it did to me. I hope one day you feel vulnerable enough with someone to see that you yourself are not perfect and it's not a requirement to become perfect.

No-Rough-7390 · 2024-11-21T10:35:58+00:00

If you discover your relationship had a honeymoon phase that died out, that’s normally a tell tale sign you weren’t her first choice.

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wtknight · 2024-11-21T12:37:22+00:00

This isn’t true if one is actually friends with the person whom one dates. A lot of couples aren’t really friends, though.

Old_Luck285 · 2024-11-21T12:44:58+00:00

Many relationships fail after the honeymoon phase but this isn't a bug, it's a feature.

As you noticed, people have a lot of projections in the honeymoon phase. They see what they want to see, not how their partner really is.

Once the honeymoon phase is over, you have to really look at your partner and accept them for who they are - or leave.

Relationships usually fail due to the same issues that have been present from day one. It's just that your perception/tolerance has changed. What seemed like a cute spleen or minor annoyance in the beginning is now a deal-breaker.

I think the only way to mitigate this disillusioning is to do self-reflection (what is really important to me?) and look for that in a partner.

However, you'll never be fully immune from growing apart as people keep changing during their life. There's no certainty for "happily ever after".

Old_Luck285 · 2024-11-21T12:49:07+00:00

Also: Never assume that you know your partner 100%. Keep asking questions. Ask them about their dreams and fantasies. That's how real intimacy is created.

You might enjoy Esther Perel's book "Mating in captivity" which adresses these exact topics.

Fab_Glam_Obsidiam · 2024-11-21T13:00:08+00:00

Hard disagree. The honeymoon is special and fun, but that's because getting to know a new person is exciting. The stability, the reliability, and the satisfaction of really knowing/accepting/being accepted by your partner is amazing.

FernWizard · 2024-11-21T13:59:26+00:00

Sad people need to stop pretending their sadness is objective truth.

Whoreasaurus_Rex · 2024-11-21T14:06:45+00:00

That's not love. Google "NRE".

CatallaxyRanch · 2024-11-21T14:37:54+00:00

What I've found over the course of my nearly 13 year relationship is that while the initial honeymoon phase does end, you periodically go through what I call a relationship renaissance. It's really fun and fulfilling to go through the ebbs and flows of life with the same person and feel your love for them grow and change. People are too quick to assume that the first lull will last forever.

Environmental_Day558 · 2024-11-21T14:40:10+00:00

I think it's the best part, but not the only enjoyable part. Safety and security is enjoyable as well.

mashedturnip · 2024-11-21T14:44:44+00:00

Only for those seeking excitement and novelty, prioritize looks and sex, are desperate, or who date extraordinarily dishonest people, or are dishonest themselves

Very unfortunate for them

SayuriKitsune · 2024-11-21T16:53:08+00:00

as a woman I disagree, to me start new relationships is boring. I prefer long ones. IF you are with the right person, the honeymoon phase never ends

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2024-11-21T18:04:24+00:00

Been with my partner 5 years, and while the "new relationship energy" has worn off, I'm no less attracted to him, even with the flaws that I am well aware of at this point. Don't get me wrong, the excitement of the honeymoon phase is great but having that feeling of safety, love, and warmth that you come back to every day is better. And it's not like there's no excitement now, we constantly make plans for date nights, future trips, where we might move in the future, and we're both really excited to talk about these awesome things we're going to do together.

Most relationships end because it's really difficult to find someone who you find attractive, fun to hang out with, has the same values and plans for the future as you, and whose flaws/quirks you can tolerate on a daily basis for a long period of time.

rustlerhuskyjeans · 2024-11-21T21:29:30+00:00

There’s usually that 2 week intensity where you just f and eat. I’ve woke up from those hazes and bailed there. To search for another high if I wasn’t completely feeling it.

The 6 month thing is real, this is shaky ground for the couple and one side may test the market, you’re not having sex constantly and having all night conversations anymore. The next phase is when you fall in love and there may be hesitation to get locked into that person.

The 2 year marker to me is when you’re combining lots of different things together. You start to really figure each other out sexually and test each others limits for pleasure. You made it this far so you know you connect on a deep emotional level. Also, you’re very in love with each other usually, if they left you at this point your heart would literally tear itself, to me this is the most intense phase.

I’ve had 3 relationships reach the 4+ year marker. This is where the infatuation and early romantic love starts to really die off. People generally get married and have kids at this point to move the relationship forward. I struggle at this point this is where couples can start to cheat for the excitement of someone else, whereas at 2 year marker you just really want that one person. So in my experience it’s not 6 months, it’s 4 years where there’s no more excitement to be had other than a family.

Equal_Connect · 2024-11-21T23:27:59+00:00

Man i cant even get a girlfriend let alone only date one for 2 years and dump her for someone new like a pair of boots.

NeedsSleepBadly · 2024-11-22T05:30:03+00:00

Nah I like being settled into a routine. Life being a little more predictable and having someone to enjoy the little moments with is worthwhile. I never get bored of the people I love in my life so I don’t see why that would be any different in a romantic relationship.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-11-21T14:17:41+00:00

Take any dude that’s been in a career and ask him what the best day he had at work is and none are gonna say “when I first started”. If will always be about the time the completed a big project, got a big promotion or raise, or got some really big moment of recognition.

Take any pro athlete and ask them if the only enjoyable part was when they first got drafted and was a rookie, or was if it was winning a huge game, or championship, or making the Hall of fame, or even just getting recognized by their teammates as a great person.

Take any old timer that’s been in a happy LTR or marriage and ask him what his best day was and none ones going to say “when we first started”, they will always point to the day the got married, or were able to get their own place or the birth of their kids.

It’s barely worth even debating such an inexperienced perspective.

Hatefuleight-36 · 2024-11-21T09:10:03+00:00

only enjoyable part for men, women reap many benefits from being attached to a desperate simp man who dedicates his every aspect of life to pleasing her with nothing in return.

Title	The honeymoon phase is the only enjoyable part of a relationship
Author	Goodgoy6969
Upvotes	0
Comments	82
Date	November 21, 2024 8:54 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1gwbxub/the_honeymoon_phase_is_the_only_enjoyable_part_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-honeymoon-phase-is-the-only-enjoyable-part-of.1536422 https://theredarchive.com/post/1536422

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