Dating outside of your education level.

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2025-05-07T11:58:46+00:00

Being in a trade doesn’t mean someone’s uneducated or unintelligent. That’s such a weird, dismissive way to look at people.

A diploma doesn’t automatically make someone deep, kind, or emotionally intelligent. Reducing people to their credentials completely misses the point of what makes someone a good partner.

ThatBitchA · 2025-05-07T15:29:29+00:00

I have a graduate degree so someone with at least a bachelor's.

Education is important to me. I only dated dudes with a college education.

I don't think I've ever dated a tradesman. I'm not even sure I've been approached or hit on by a tradesman.

I don't even think I know anyone who works in the trades.

attendquoi · 2025-05-07T14:16:22+00:00

As someone with a graduate degree, I wouldn't consider dating a guy who didn't at least complete an undergraduate degree. Men in trades tend to be conservative, so I generally avoided them when I was single.

ashpr0ulx · 2025-05-07T12:11:48+00:00

i have a college degree. i have mostly dated tradesmen without degrees as i also work in the trades. i don’t care about formal education. i care that we can have deep conversations and that he can support himself.

p_fulga · 2025-05-07T11:57:08+00:00

It's going to be a very short lived relationship if someone can't keep pace with me intellectually. I want to be able to have complex and technical conversations, and I want them to be with someone who would actually understand it. Doesn't necessarily require them to have gone through tons of higher education officially, but most who have those talents do tend to go through some level of college.

ChadChasingBReturns · 2025-05-07T13:25:40+00:00

Education after high school is important to me. That could be a trade or university. My husband dropped out of his final year of med school to support me emotionally through some tough things. He doesn’t work, has no plans of working, and I am completely fine with that.

thelajestic · 2025-05-07T14:29:48+00:00

I don't really care. I went to uni but I don't think it's given me anything particularly amazing and niche that I'd feel the need to have in a partner. My previous LTR was with a guy who'd gone straight from school to an apprenticeship (electrician) and it was never an issue. Also, my husband went to uni and has the same job at the same company as my sister's husband, who didn't go to university, so while that's just one example, I don't feel uni is necessary for living a certain kind of life etc.

I do prefer people who can have a proper conversation, and who have interest in the world, and don't shy away from looking things up/educating themselves. But that's not necessarily something people get from education (and plenty of people who have gone to uni etc seem to lack these skills). So really more dependent on personality than formal education levels.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-05-07T14:19:35+00:00

In my personal experience, men in trades were sexist, traditionalist male supremacists, often with aggression/anger issues

This included my family. The only one who was personable was also a sleazebag who constantly cheated on his wife

No thank you

crookedsummer2019 · 2025-05-07T11:59:54+00:00

I have an MSW but have dated a cop, a welder, and a construction worker. Being formally educated is not synonymous with intelligence nor positive personality traits nor does it mean the relationship will be better.

It’s never been a dealbreaker for me personally.

leosandlattes · 2025-05-07T14:47:53+00:00

I would date a man without a degree provided there was evidence with career progression otherwise, AND he agreed with me on how I want to raise children regarding their education.

My bfs and most men I've been on dates with are college educated, usually in tech or natural sciences industries. That's just he way the cookie crumbled since that is my social group.

avoiding_a_stalker · 2025-05-07T19:32:04+00:00

I've gone on quite a few dates with men who worked in the trades, though I don't think I dated any long-term (beyond a few weeks, if that). Typically, we didn't align on things that were important to one/both of us, so it didn't work out (politics, vaccines, household labour divisions, finances, etc). I ran into a few that wanted me to eventually be a SAHP, even though I had the larger salary and we were unlikely to be able to maintain a QoL that would work for us on just their salaries (not to mention, I don't really want kids, anyways).

The values differences tended to be the big dealbreaker, though there were minor things that didn't quite mesh. Different interests/hobbies made it difficult to connect. We often wanted incompatible lifestyles. I usually didn't get along with their friends. Other minor things that wouldn't have been a problem on their own but didn't help.

All that to say, nothing wrong with tradesmen; they can be pretty cool. I've just found I tended to mesh better with men who wanted to live similar lifestyles to the one I wanted and those folks usually also had an undergraduate degree. Ironically enough, I also didn't usually end up with people who had graduate degrees for similar reasons - didn't always get on well with folks who were in a masters/PhD program, either, though the gap wasn't as large.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2025-05-07T20:52:35+00:00

My lack of interest in tradespeople has something to do with the level of education, but that's not the only thing. My partner has a bachelor's but is currently working in the trades. From what I hear, his coworkers are pretty good at what they do, but are pretty dense when it comes to anything beyond their specific field. Not to mention, the particularly dumb ones are also (unsurprisingly) pretty bigoted and generally shitty.

I have dated one dude who didn't go to uni/college, and it was....not pleasant. The conversations were pretty limited, and he was the type who thought he was always right, despite frequently being proved wrong. Don't think we lasted a month. This isn't to say that everyone who hasn't gone to university is stupid. I've met plenty of idiots who have a bachelor's degree (at least). But a lot of fundamentally incurious people haven't tried to receive any kind of education after they graduated HS, so I'd consider it a yellow flag.

Makuta_Servaela · 2025-05-07T12:32:45+00:00

A trade is education. My maternal grandfather had a trade and my paternal grandfather had a college degree. The former has a massive house in a gated community, RV, fancy motorcycle, etc. The latter died with a tiny, broken house.
As long as the bills are paid, and at least one of us has health insurance the other can use, I'm good.

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Unhappy_Offer_1822 · 2025-05-07T12:57:59+00:00

i have made an algorithm for myself that determines compatibility so it depends on whether or not it says yes

AngeAware · 2025-05-07T13:55:29+00:00

I tried that in undergrad, local guy who didn't go to college. Tbf I think it's a slightly different and potentially more turbulent dynamic than a woman who's all done with her studies and a man who never went to college. But my parents had advised me to stick to college guys, I ignored them, and as often happened the few times I ignored my parents it ended exactly how they thought it would.

To be clear, I never expected that he had to be exactly on my level. I'm in postgrad, my SO stopped at bachelor's. But we at least have that experience in common. He respects what I do and brags to everyone he can about it lol.

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2025-05-07T14:09:32+00:00

If he possesses the ability to think critically and the knowledge and drive to triple check any questionable claims: no problem.

If he's prone to conspiracy/magical thinking or makes noises in favor of anti-intellectualism, no way.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2025-05-07T14:35:23+00:00

I have 2 degrees and have only had one bf who attended college briefly, the other three dropped out of HS

Werevulvi · 2025-05-07T15:42:56+00:00

To some extent, I don't think it matters much. As long as he has some kinda intelligence/knowledge in some area. I've always been more drawn to men who are more streets smart than book smart.

However, I have a very low education degree myself (did not finish high school, never set my foot at a university, I had mediocre grades in junior high) so for me it's never been a problem, if I would so choose to only date men with a higher degree, because most men do have a higher degree than me. But in reality I've never had an issue with dating men who also didn't finish high school. There's something genuinely impressive in men who go from having little to no education going to become experts in some kinda trade or craft, or in whatever way managed to get a decent career. Especially in today's job market when you seem to need a degree for pretty much every kinda job.

And yeah, most of my skills (arts, writing, sewing, language, psychology, etc) are self taught too. So yeah I think in general I'm more drawn to men who are closer to being my equal, than men who are bigger and better than me. I think I don't want to feel overshadowed by a partner's strengths, nor do I want to overshadow his strengths. I think I sense conflict in that dynamic, and I've always strived to avoid conflict.

Powerful_Monitor3659 · 2025-05-07T18:25:03+00:00

I would happily date a tradey. Only issue, their bodies end up fucked after a couple of decades.

Every fisherman, bricky, chippy and scaffolder I know has fucked up knees and hips by the time they're 45.

MotherPermit9585 · 2025-05-07T22:39:34+00:00

This is literally my marriage lol. It works well for us. My husband is very intelligent but grew up in abject poverty a didn’t have the opportunity to go to college let alone grad school so he learned a trade (or several) instead.

RecognitionSoft9973 · 2025-05-07T23:20:26+00:00

It's perfectly fine and normal.

men who aren't necessarily highly educated but have a trade and maybe also a business of their own centred on this trade. An electrician for example

Trade school is difficult and requires a lot of knowledge. On top of being hazardous. I respect people who work in the trades, so I don't see tradespeople as "below" me.

An electrician for example. The 'family man, who knows how to fix things around the house' as he described them.

AI will eventually replace a lot of white collar work and just day-to-day communication stuff (already happening). Trades will look fulfilling and practical in comparison.

tattletana · 2025-05-08T00:47:20+00:00

there are many different types of intelligence. ranking people based on test scores and college degrees works if you’re an employer at a corporate job, not a future wife. my grandpa never went to college, he worked manual labor jobs his entire life, and he’s the smartest man i’ve ever met. that man could tell you anything about anything. i’ve met thirteen year olds with more wisdom in em than a 60 year old with 8 degrees. i’d never write off dating a man because he didn’t have a flashy degree or a lot of money, life isn’t about that.

Different_Cress7369 · 2025-05-08T10:24:16+00:00

My husband didn’t have the opportunity to attend university, so I supported him through a bachelor of civil engineering. I personally couldn’t be with someone that I didn’t consider my intellectual equal.

Having said that, there are plenty of pink collar workers (nurses, teachers, bookkeepers, education and health support, social care, etc…) who marry blue collar workers. He’s a chippy or a sparky and she’s a kindergarten teacher or a vet nurse are super common.

Tylikcat · 2025-05-07T19:00:41+00:00

So, according to an article in the Atlantic, and at least one paper I've read, women are now more likely to marry less educated men than the reverse. So this is what's happening, and shouldn't be a surprise to anyone. (Though, the men who are getting married usually have a strong career.)

It's never been about education level for me. It took me a while to realize how important intellectual connection was, though. But that's only weakly correlated with education level, and I tend to prefer the weirdos. Also, having a doctorate, if I insisted on only dating people with my education level or higher, that would make for a pretty tiny pool.

Title	Dating outside of your education level.
Author	Manifestival1
Upvotes	10
Comments	200
Date	May 7, 2025 11:39 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1kgv6pl/dating_outside_of_your_education_level/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/dating-outside-of-your-education-level.1551698 https://theredarchive.com/post/1551698

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