Do you, deep down, believe that casual sex is only for women to experience & enjoy, while most men must only experience sex in serious relationships?

baller696969balls · 2025-09-18T09:41:55+00:00

No? Who the fuck is gatekeeping casual sex? Like genuinely show me how this is an issue that exists. When women rag on about men who prefer hooking up, it’s usually only if they’re using dehumanising terminology or if they claim that only women lose their value from it. Nobody thinks that men shouldn’t have casual sex. That’s a thing you are making up.

Poppy_Luvv · 2025-09-18T09:57:51+00:00

It has nothing to do with entitlement or gatekeeping or should or deserve, it's just supply and demand. The casual sex supply and demand for hetro casual sex is deeply asymmetrical. At any given moment, far more men are down for casual sex than women.

Your frustration is rooted in your feeling that access to casual sex is not being fairly distributed in the way a scare resource should be. Men here have claimed that it doesn't matter if the ratio for men & women seeking casual sex is so lopsided, the women could still meet demand. The unsaid second half of that statement being - if they were just fair.

You have two groups, first women who do not have casual sex. They are not going to view wanting to be "hook up material" positively because they're not into that period. And even among women who do have casual sex, few of them have "husband material" as a separate group. They select LTR partners from men who are already hook up material. So to them, declaring that you under no circumstances want to be viewed as husband material, is basically telling them you only seek to use them for sex. And why would they have a positive reaction to that?

Tylikcat · 2025-09-18T09:17:02+00:00

I don't think anyone here is trying to prevent you from having casual sex. Which would be gate keeping. But if you can't find anyone who wants to have casual sex with you, I didn't really see that as our problem.

A lot of women don't want casual sex at all.

Lemon_gecko · 2025-09-18T09:21:35+00:00

Oh boy.
So you believe that women have casual sex and gate keep if from men. Assuming you talk about straight women, who do you think they have casual with???

as far as i've seen nobody said that men shouldn't have casual sex. They are free to have this option. It doesn't guarantee them sex, but they can try.

And no, i'm not gatekeeping sex from anyone. Is this enough nuance for you?

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2025-09-18T14:00:28+00:00

No, casual sex, just like any other kind of sex, is for those who want it and who can find someone who wants to engage with them in that manner. You can pursue it, there's no guarantee you'll get it.

Makuta_Servaela · 2025-09-18T11:49:11+00:00

I don't generally care about what people who aren't me do in their bed, as long as everyone consents.

"You're not entitled to sex" doesn't mean you should be banned from having it with a consenting party. It just means that you should not build yourself up on the idea that sex is the only way to feel meaningful.

The problem with hookup culture is that men's part in sex can and has disabled or killed people via causing pregnancy, or the fact that being the penetrator makes you more likely to spread and less likely to catch an STI, and because men are physically stronger than women and seek to be alone with women they could easily kill with their bare hands alone. Because of all of this, men should be more responsible about sex, but they're not. They whine about condoms and blame the woman alone if she gets pregnant. Men also demand access to prostitutes and porn actresses with no shits given about the high rate of slavery and abuse in those industries. His erection is more important than her freedom and safety.

It's not a double standard to look at men's role differently, because they objectively have a different role and different risk level.

kmb218 · 2025-09-18T10:00:26+00:00

I don’t think anyone SHOULD have any of these options. If you have on or both of these options, great, have casual sex or relationship sex. But it’s not anyone’s responsibility to provide these options for you.

SandBrilliant2675 · 2025-09-19T16:06:36+00:00

Who believes this??? No body is entitled to sex and women are not gate keeping casual sex just because they won’t fuck any man wants to fuck them.

Dependent-Tailor7366 · 2025-09-18T12:38:31+00:00

People get what they can get.

If you’re an ugly man you’re not going to get much and I’m not the least bit sorry for you. Sex is not a charity.

attendquoi · 2025-09-18T12:55:07+00:00

What men get is no concern of mine.

ThatBitchA · 2025-09-18T14:45:05+00:00

When I was single, I had sex with other single men. So.... single men are having sex.

Like all the women said yesterday, husband material is a compliment.

If you want to be considered disposable like a tissue and be "hook up material", that's your perogative. Accept that being hookup material is sex only and thus means y'all only care about sex aka are sex obsessed.

CancerMoon2Caprising · 2025-09-18T17:27:55+00:00

No one's gatekeeping just because you cant get laid. It doesnt work like that.

When i go find a man for a fwb, I pick one who is sexually compatible. I go out of my way to avoid fboys or those that look like they get enough flings to begin with, and go for someone a little lowkey, nerdy. I vett him and what hes into and then if it aligns we move further. If he seems too ambiguous in his interests or the opposite of my bedroom preferences....... i go vett someone else for a fwb. When I find the right fit, i keep that fwb for a few months. If you want to factor in looks, I dont really pick fwb that id want to actually date or who are extremely attractive. I dont pick jumpscares, but they wouldnt be compatible enough to date me in some way. (Every woman is different in how they pick a fwb, some go for the hottest guy as like a fantasy fck, or want to size up the tool, or they vett sexual compatibility like me)

When i feel ready for a relationship, I end the fwb and then a couple months later, im going on first dates. Half the time i may not have sex for like 6-9 months before dating..... it depends on my mood. I dont generally hookup with a date until its been a few dates first because i like to build chemistry and guage full relationship compatibility before testing sex. Sex is 1 piece of the puzzle at that point. Whereas with a fwb its the only puzzle.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2025-09-18T09:56:30+00:00

Casual sex is nothing to enojy. Sex is sacred connection reserved only for commited ideally forever relationship.

CatallaxyRanch · 2025-09-18T20:05:19+00:00

No. For one thing that doesn't make any sense; if I thought women should get the option of casual sex, then that necessitates men having that option as well. Assuming women aren't all lesbians.

Moreover it's not my experience or observation that men can't have sex outside of serious relationships. I haven't heard of a relationship starting, let alone becoming "serious" before any sex was had since I was a freshman at a Christian college 20 years ago.

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Brilliant-Block-8200 · 2025-09-23T22:52:19+00:00

Nope. I think casual sex should be for people that genuinely want that and both giving informed consent (meaning one isn’t lying about wanting a relationship with the other. Total, open honesty). But I do firmly believe that women tend to want casual sex less than men do. And there’s not really much you can do to fix that. A lot of women won’t do casual because of how they’ve heard men talk about it. Speaking as if you see women as just sexual objects to get off with and don’t care about their pleasure, shaming women you’ve slept with, etc are all ways that will turn women away from having casual sex. Even if it’s casual, you still should respect them as a person

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2025-09-18T16:31:22+00:00

no, because im not a mentally ill lunatic, also no one beleives this

Title	Do you, deep down, believe that casual sex is only for women to experience & enjoy, while most men must only experience sex in serious relationships?
Author	FlamingMetalSystems
Upvotes	1
Comments	231
Date	September 18, 2025 9:11 AM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1nk3dpa/do_you_deep_down_believe_that_casual_sex_is_only/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-you-deep-down-believe-that-casual-sex-is-only.1562253 https://theredarchive.com/post/1562253

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