Ladies, have you even not been into someone despite them being good in bed?

Downtown_Cat_1745 · 2025-12-03T01:35:06+00:00

If I’m not into someone, I don’t sleep with them

Novadina · 2025-12-03T00:49:22+00:00

I’ve had relationships that didn’t last long because it was just the sex that was good. Might have lasted longer than it should have, but eventually no matter how good the sex is, you want to do other things and be compatible in other areas.

Flightlessbirbz · 2025-12-03T01:24:30+00:00

Sexual compatibility is one element of a good relationship, but it’s not enough, you also need to have compatible values and goals and enough common interests to be able to have something to talk about. And I say “sexual compatibility,” because whether or not someone is “good in bed” is not something all of their partners will necessarily agree on. Some men are pretty much unequivocally bad in bed (for example, those who basically just use her as a fleshlight and get pouty if she doesn’t orgasm from that), but whether it’s “meh” or “great” can be highly subjective.

Barneysparky · 2025-12-03T00:51:55+00:00

For a relationship to happen you have to have common goals and values.

Would I take on a rural rancher as a fuck? If he was hot enough. Maybe. Would I get into a relationship with him? Nope.

The bar is much higher for relationship material. You have to be hot to me, and want the same kind of life.

DenverKim · 2025-12-03T03:48:13+00:00

Unfortunately, some of the best men (when it comes to sex) that I’ve ever been with also just happened to be crazy as hell. They weren’t necessarily assholes, they were just crazy and there was no way I could merge my life with theirs. Had to let them go.

Prior-Impression-871 · 2025-12-03T04:36:18+00:00

I wouldn't really know as I don't hook-up with randos, nor do I have any desire to (probably an answer in itself)

It's probably a thing though. Even if not quite as good as being with someone you have actual feelings for

keepcalmandhydrate · 2025-12-03T04:49:09+00:00

100%

Sometimes people take a while to show you who they really are. Scumbags are gonna scumbag, even if they say they’re a “nice guy.”

Makuta_Servaela · 2025-12-03T02:06:09+00:00

Yeah, my main FWB is good in bed. He's also a hoarder, momma's boy, and has a habit of talking to everyone as if he's lecturing them (he used to be a professor). I love hanging out with and sleeping with him, but there's a reason he's just FWB and not boyfriend (There are more reasons than that, but that's some of them).

I've also met a guy who was good in bed, seemed nice, but surrounded himself with really bad company, and that turned me off, because I felt if he fit in with them when I wasn't around, then he must be hiding that version of himself to impress me, and when I settle in, that version will come out. I dropped him as a friend as well.

sablesalsa · 2025-12-03T01:48:28+00:00

Kinda? If I'm sleeping with someone, that means I'm already into them enough for a relationship. I've never had overall bad sex in a relationship, but I have had relationships end because someone wasn't who I thought they were, not because I lost attraction or decided they weren't my type.

So if the question is whether good sex outweighs a shitty personality or not, my answer is no. To me, sex gets better the more you trust and love your partner. Why would I be with a bad person just for sex when there are plenty of good people out there who I'll have better sex with anyway?

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2025-12-03T08:50:41+00:00

First I need to be absolutely obsessed with him to even get into bed with him. I never had anything casual.

Lemon_gecko · 2025-12-03T05:45:21+00:00

I don’t know do you need one more yes, but yes? That’s the point of hookups, or more like fwb, keep good sex but not relationship. I don’t know from what place you (men) get all those beliefs about women….

Aimeereddit123 · 2025-12-03T02:13:58+00:00

I have the best sex I’ve ever had, and we have it every night, sometimes twice, sometimes thrice on weekends, and I’ve got one foot out the door. In fact, the good sex is making me ANGRY, because I can tell he thinks it will keep me, and that he doesn’t have to work on absolutely anything else. Yes, it’s probably kept me this long, but at the end of the day, I’M good at sex, and I take myself with me everywhere I go. I’ll never not have good sex.

a-perpetual-novice · 2025-12-03T00:51:09+00:00

There are people who were good in bed but I didn't want a serious relationship, since the whole point of a hookup was avoiding those when I had a busy life. So if "not into him" means don't want a long term relationship, then yeah. But if "not into him" means no longer wanting sex, not so much.

I could see me losing interest due to outside reasons if it were a stranger, maybe, but all of my past hookups were with long term friends so I knew them well already. Sorry if my experience isn't relevant for that reason.

Bluest_Skies · 2025-12-03T00:52:12+00:00

There's no objective "good in bed" ratings scale. There are definitely ways to get so much better that you're still #1 (and yes, that's childish as hell but I'm trying to maintain the theme), but don't count out chemistry. Sometimes you can do everything "right" and the sex still isn't everything she could ask for. It's very possible for a woman to walk away from exceptionally good d* because they're not into the rest of the guy.

Tylikcat · 2025-12-03T01:41:13+00:00

A lot of me enjoying sex involves feeling some connection to the person. If we're talking more of a fling it doesn't have to be super deep, but it's also more than skill at sex per se. (Though some people are skilled at creating that sense of connection. And while quite a few folks who've had that reputation have left me cold, I can think of at least one who got me into bed.)

ThatBitchA · 2025-12-03T01:22:06+00:00

Yes. Every hookup, fuck buddy, etc.

The same way that (some) men have women they'd only have sex with and not date.

Being good in bed isn't the only metric for keeping a relationship.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2025-12-03T01:03:16+00:00

yeh

edit: oh idodnt read the post, no I knew they weren't my type before the sex, thats why I didnt like them even though they were good

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Careful_Reality2512 · 2025-12-06T14:28:28+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Next-Character-2027 · 2025-12-09T04:26:09+00:00

Yes. At the time, we both had been through recent loss and divorce. We had textbook disorganized attachment styles. The revolving door of high intensity connection followed by need for space made it hard to feel grounded or secure, for either of us.

0/10 recommend confusing mutual pain and sexual chemistry with compatibility.

thelajestic · 2025-12-03T14:51:51+00:00

There's a lot more to a relationship than just sex. Having good sex together means you're compatible for hook ups, but doesn't mean you're compatible for relationships. I hooked up with a guy a few times who was perfectly nice and excellent in bed, but it wasn't any deeper than that - he was a kinda hippyish vegetarian who wanted to live in a van, I have a stable job at a bank, had my own place, enjoy skinning/gutting/butchering animals for meat. We enjoyed our hook ups but were mutually disinterested in anything more.

Title	Ladies, have you even not been into someone despite them being good in bed?
Author	LastBlackSamurai99
Upvotes	12
Comments	128
Date	December 3, 2025 12:40 AM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1pcpsno/ladies_have_you_even_not_been_into_someone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/ladies-have-you-even-not-been-into-someone-despite.1567935 https://theredarchive.com/post/1567935

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