Women don’t give good advice on dating and it’s obvious why.

CandidMatch4547 · 2025-12-28T01:51:40+00:00

I’ve been told lots of BS advice by both men and women alike.

The only advice that has ever actually mattered: Be physically attractive and don’t act weird.

If anyone tells you different they are coping or trying to sell you something.

Any-Setting-6429 · 2025-12-28T05:16:51+00:00

Women give shit dating advice for a very simple reason:

Women don't understand what women look for as a man in dating.

They don't have to try to attract women. They don't date women. They have never been in the position of needing the experience or expertise in the arena of women.

Why do you think lesbians are far more realistic about women?

The best you will get from women is "what would my ideal man be like provided he meets all my unstated standards?"

whatchamacallit_017 · 2025-12-28T07:56:52+00:00

Never ask a fish how to catch a fish.

TheOneWhoThinketh · 2025-12-28T01:55:17+00:00

I disagree that's it's obvious why. You suggest that women give bad advice because they want to be politically correct.

I think the real reason women give bad advice is because they don't care why someone is liked or not liked, only that they are. This results in two problems:

Just like women hate receiving solutions when they want to vent, they assume that men coming to them with dating problems want reassurance rather than solutions. Of course, the man's impressive emotional state does nothing to attract women on its own. Despite what they claim, most women either cannot accurately detect insecurity, or have a strong preference for insecure men driven to display their emotionality.

The other fundamental problem is that women's advice to both men and other women, is directed towards making them more likeable in particular by showing them how to better conform to social or cultural standards.

How many times would you go to a man for advice if he told you that in order to get women, you had to peacock and show off your good looks or impress women by showing how much of a nice guy you were? Advice like this is the premise of jokes in movies and TV shows. Yet it's the type of advice women give to each other and other men.

Men intuitively understand that standing around and looking pretty or being a decent human being will not magically earn a man a relationship. Women fail to understand this because it works for them, and since modern society tells them that men and women are exactly the same, they assume that a man who is failing is failing for the same reasons they would.

coping_man · 2025-12-28T08:20:46+00:00

They aren't men. They don't have to learn how men date. They don't have to be men. They only see the finished product, not the process. I didn't see the bullying, I was bullied by girls. Women don't tell you this shit because they don't think it's their problem.

Unless (1) she trusts you and she deserves your trust or (2) she really, really cares about getting it right for your sake:

The feminine communication style isn't about telling you the truth (unless the goal is to hurt you with it), it's about minimizing consequences for herself and getting what she wants by making everyone else feel like they're assholes if they say no. Pissing some guy off when it doesn't make her feel good about herself isn't what she wants. She doesn't feel responsible for you. (and if she's a stranger... well, that's accurate now aint it.) Your grandma sucks at giving you real advice for the same reason. It's not that she's retarded (although that's always a possibility), it's that she doesn't have skin in the game if she gets it wrong.

DecisionPlastic9740 · 2025-12-28T08:59:14+00:00

Women want to take the guy that they're already attracted to and turn him into the relationship guy. They're not looking to help the average man attract a woman, which is the advice for which men are generally looking.

Suspicious_Glove7365 · 2025-12-28T01:35:17+00:00

Saying that "it's going to be very tough" isn't advice on how to find romance.

Bitch_King-of_Angmar · 2025-12-28T01:32:33+00:00

a lot of people ask for advice just to belly ache and then end up never taking it. so i am fine with the burden of giving advice to men being taken off my shoulders ngl.

Maffioze · 2025-12-28T11:59:43+00:00

It's even worse for relationship advice when you're already in a relationship. Both men and women will give you advice that will make you remain stuck in an abusive relationship if you're unlucky enough to have picked someone abusive. The whole shtick is basically "you're a man so you're responsible for how she feels no matter how unreasonable". It's way better to figure this out for yourself than to listen to anyone in my experience

Alternative-Dig-3814 · 2025-12-28T03:49:41+00:00

Tbh advices from both men and women can be bad. Each advice can be bad because it depends on what you are looking for. Both men and women have sometimes unrealistic expectation and no matter the advice, it will not help if someone is delulu. Overweight person who does not care about themselves will have a slim chance of getting with a person who works out regularly and puts a lot of effort in their appearance. Is there a chance? Probably, but more like one in a milion.

If you are looking for an advice on dating ask someone who matches the group you are looking for. Want a SAHM? Try to ask for an advice SAHM etc.

Personally I think best people to ask for advice are happy couples. Where BOTH partners are happy.

GridReXX · 2025-12-28T13:24:12+00:00

Eh. Men posture about how much they prefer harsh truths and then quite literally crash out when they hear it from a woman they like.

Maybe the truth is it’s easier for your bro to tell you you’re ugly as shit, weird asf, or broke as hell than for your female friend who you secretly have a crush on to tell you that.

You guys don’t take it well so stop expecting women to go out of their way to burden the brunt of your belly aching and feelings of embarrassment from hearing the truth that you’re generally unattractive and misguided from her.

xxVelasco · 2025-12-28T02:58:21+00:00

Women can and do give honest and extremely useful dating advice. I'm someone who grew up surrounded by mostly women (mom, sisters, friends) and they were the first people I confided in when I entered my teenage years and became curious about dating girls. I asked them things like "how can I attract girls my age?," "what are the signs that a girl is interested in me?," "how do girls like to be approached?," and so on. Little 14 year old me back then was asking about things that grown men today don't even bother to think about when approaching women. When I felt ready to date when I was 18, their advice helped me a lot.

Girls really appreciated the fact that I took care of my looks and body, could make them laugh till their stomach hurts, provided a space where they felt safe, took interest in their interests, supported their goals, spoke up for them when they needed it, and of course, knew how to turn them on and give them an orgasm. Even though I was young and didn't have a lot of money, I would still make an effort to set up a nice date and make them feel special. You don't need to spend a lot of money either to impress most girls, I was just creative, thoughtful, and romantic.

I'm also not someone who grew up with toxic male role models at home, so concepts like red pill, MGTOW, pick up artists, etc. weren't something I discovered until I was in university and became more active on social media (my parents didn't let me have a phone until I was 18). I found these concepts to be nonsensical and ridiculous. I remember thinking "WTF are these weirdos talking about?" when I saw a red pill youtube video for the first time. I've dated many women (both casually and seriously) and to this day I don't relate to anything red pill claims.

Since I entered my 20s, I've never struggled to attract women, mainly because I actually listen to them and what their physical and emotional needs are. I also have an awesome beautiful girlfriend and we plan to get engaged and married after we finish grad school.

And a little word of advice to OP: having a mentality like this grosses women out. Women don't like men that think and behave like you. It's literally sexually repulsive to them and can permanently turn them off from you (women call this "getting the ick"). If you genuinely want a healthy relationship and live a happy beautiful life with a woman, then I suggest to drop whatever sexual resentment and misogyny you have towards women. It's not helping anyone.

Lysa_Bell · 2025-12-28T06:30:18+00:00

This is just a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation again for women.

If women are honest and tell you, you might never find someone that is attracted to you because you are the bottom of the barrel, you stink, you dont earn enough, you have the personality of dry bread and your career path looks like it leads to a bench in the park - men get really offended because the truth hurts and there is some things you can't make up for it. Then we have the guys on here arguing they just want empathy and whine how they need to be coddled because they are excluded from something they assumed was a fundamental human right. And what do we get from that? Bitter and vindictive men that got their ego so hurt they want society to punish women, take away their right and force them into servitude.

If women try to be a bit more diplomatic and say "get a proper haircut, have some hobbies, dress well, smell well, etc" and it doesn't instantly lead to sex with hot women they get angry and say "bUt ChAd DoEsN't NeEd tO dO tHaT" and that it doesn't work. Yeah? You arent Chad. Again. The result is that guys scream that women give bad advice and do that maliciously. Then we get posts like this one "fish, fishermen yadda yadda". Which again might end up with disillusioned angry and bitter men.

If women say "hey, just be yourself, try to engage socially, live your life, have a fulfilled life and you might find someone that is into who you are". So the softest version of "advice". Again women get screamed at how that doesnt work and what even is the point if they can't fuck anyone and are unlovable? Similar outcome like the other two scenarios.

So whats the point? Should we really tell our fellow humans something that might backfire because male ego gets so hurt by the idea they might not be someone that will ever be picked because women have a choice now? Desperation and depression is not a good thing for society. Men need to stop centering sex and women as their whole purpose of living. They need to find something to fulfill them from the inside without the input of someone else. Men put so much pressure on women to be everything for them. To be their sole motivation and their sole self-esteem goal. Its exhausting to watch men constantly complain and whine. And its not sexy. Its not desire inducing. Its a hugh turn off.

So here is a honest advice: live a life fulfilled without someone else in it. A partner should add to your life not be the goal for everything. You might never find someone. And you need to accept that and be okay with that and still make the best of it. This is YOUR life. You have to life it.

classicslayer · 2025-12-28T16:44:18+00:00

Women tend to give bad advice because their advice is based on what benefits the girl more.

Green_Quiet1717 · 2025-12-28T02:24:56+00:00

Women tend to be much less blunt.

Tylikcat · 2025-12-28T01:58:17+00:00

Oh, yeah, we're just a bunch of softies that never want to puncture y'all's tender egos.

Snalesdofeel · 2025-12-28T10:09:40+00:00

Women never had to work for or put thought into attaining anything romantic or sexual - it just comes to them like air. Why would i want to listen.

RealityCold4693 · 2025-12-28T03:19:24+00:00

If you ask a woman what attracted to her to her partner nine times out of 10 she gonna give you some open ended word like it was just a vibe or be confident

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ThanosSnapsSlimJims · 2025-12-28T20:48:46+00:00

The only true advice for men seems to be:

Be hot and have money and resources to be drained before the hypergamy begins

OR

be a doormat and have money and resources to be drained before the hypergamy begins

Meallaire · 2025-12-28T21:34:47+00:00

I agree, though with a caveat. The biggest thing to remember when taking advice about dating from women is it works best when the woman already likes you. So yeah, go ahead and ask your girl's best friend what to get her as a gift, ask her mom where she's always wanted to go on vacation, etc. But unless you're asking a bi or lesbian woman, we don't really know to seduce any woman other than ourselves.

Large_Bed_4251 · 2025-12-28T23:59:05+00:00

Women can't give good dating advice because they aren't required to actually do anything besides sit back and get spoiled.

Any-Setting-6429 · 2026-04-04T23:41:26+00:00

The advice I usually give as a man is to be yourself by, roughly, the 3rd date. Make sure the dates are spread out a bit. Because at the end of the day, that's who they're going to be spending their life with and it's hard to change who you are.

Date 1. You attracted them. Great.

Date 2. Okay, she agreed to see you again. Get to know each other better. It's OKAY if you don't see eye to eye on everything. Know what your boundaries are and figure out what hers are.

Date 3. Remember. She is a person. Get to know the person. From then on show her what person you are.

You are free to just be you before then too. It's the little things that get noticed when she's looking to date you for long term. What you deem little can be blaringly obvious to the woman because men and women value things differently. It's not what you do, but how you so it.

Don't care so much about every little thing you do because the more you do, the more you slip up and end up being yourself anyway.

Important info.

date dress code. Let them know ahead of time. This helps tremendously in helping them sort out what to expect. It helps dodge problems like going to mini golf but she's dressed to the 9's.

Make sure she knows EXACTLY where she's going and that it is in public with lots of other people. If she knows said people, even better. DO NOT JUST TAKE HER HIKING, CAMPING OR SOMETHING ELSE THAT GETS YOU ALONE. DO NOT TAKE HER TO HANG OUT WITH JUST YOUR FRIENDS. Bad things can happen and, while your intentions and what you will do might be fine, she doesn't know that and her safety is paramount.

Most important. DATES DON'T NEED TO COST ANYTHING. A DATE IS TIME YOU SPECIFICALLY SET APART TO BE TOGETHER. Do you need to make each other feel special once in a while and spend money? Absolutely. But the fact that you both took the time to be there together, talking, hanging out, just being TOGETHER is a big deal.

Lastly. If they want a big fancy dinner date and you don't know each other? Dodge the bullet. It's a trend that's been happening more and more lately where people dress up nice and expect you to see they spent money so you dish out more money. Same with always wanting really expensive things everywhere. If you still want to date that person though, try making it yourself. It is cheaper and shows you know how to keep things working. The latter part is the most important. If it's unappreciated, then make up your mind.

Junior-Campaign-6326 · 2025-12-28T05:04:50+00:00

Men absolutely do not want the truth that's why they're so delusional. And lash out emotionally when the truth is told to them. Ex: women wanting a provider man. That's the truth its rooted in biology. But you can't tell men this or they spiral.

ThatBitchA · 2025-12-28T02:31:08+00:00

It seems like some men just want other men to yell and them and tell them they suck.

The RP advice for men is so bad. It's advice from unsuccessful balding old men or virgins with no experience. And yet that is better advice than from women?

Pathetic.

Disastrous_Agent9307 · 2025-12-28T04:27:18+00:00

Every man I've ever given dating advice to in person got the girl they were interested in to at least go out with them several times and in one case it formed a long term relationship. And I didn't have to gut punch them to get them there.

Same for the women in my life by the way. You can affirm and criticize. Frankly, it's the ideal way to learn anything educationally speaking. You can't just break someone down or they'll fold.

mashedturnip · 2025-12-28T12:19:37+00:00

The harsh truth is that way more men have offended me with their words and actions than their faces and bodies

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2025-12-28T19:01:49+00:00

If you want specific dating advice, ask someone who knows you well and isn’t afraid to be honest with you. If you ask internet strangers, you’re going to get generic advice because we don’t know you.

Title	Women don’t give good advice on dating and it’s obvious why.
Author	Ceazer4L
Upvotes	65
Comments	172
Date	December 28, 2025 12:19 AM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1pxczkl/women_dont_give_good_advice_on_dating_and_its/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-dont-give-good-advice-on-dating-and-its.1569835 https://theredarchive.com/post/1569835

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