the bi men conversation is silly

AngeAware · 2026-08-13T17:18:18+00:00

I agree that it's silly, but for a different reason.

To be clear, I have no dog in this race and someone whose preference is for male virgins, period. A virgin who is attracted to both men and women would not have been a dealbreaker for me. A man who had a lot of sex either or both ways would have been a dealbreaker.

That said, as someone who belongs to a minority group one of my pet peeves is expecting too much of our allies. I'm grateful this person is on board with me having rights, if they don't want to fuck me I'll live. Granted there is plenty of historic precedent for men having sex and even romantic relationships with women while not necessarily giving a shit about their rights or even seeing them as human for that matter so ngl the inverse seems preferable.

This-Register · 2026-08-13T17:35:56+00:00

Okay fair but why is it disgusting? Explain

Also, explain how you come to terms with dating people who you are generally disgusted with when you say "women find male sexuality disgusting"

ChadChasingBReturns · 2026-08-13T17:32:39+00:00

I don’t think most women find male sexuality disgusting. I think many bi men are treated and judged like straight men view a woman with a sexual history. I think the roots are more in slut shaming more than homophobia.

PuzzleheadedRow9896 · 2026-08-13T19:28:48+00:00

I'm always intrigued by the assertion that the things let's assume a lot of women find egregious or revolting in certain typed male behavior is part and parcel to male sexuality (indiscriminate lust, risky sexual behaviors, emphasis on taboo sex acts, degrading or controlling of partner sexually).

Like, I really do wonder if this is part and parcel of male sexuality. Like if we popped a man on an uncharted desert island would he inherently develop in these ways? Or is this environmental items (porn, other men talking to him, the internet, etc.) that have created this in men and then told them this is what male sexuality is?

I DUNNO. I'm really not convinced it is, but maybe I'm wrong.

Oh, the topic of bisexuality, yeah, I mean, I think you're kind of onto something in the sense a lot of the LGBT community encourages let's call it sexual degeneracy, but I don't mean that badly, I just can't think of another term for this certain kind of sexual acts, displays, and the emphasis on sex and a sort of sex positivity, I suppose.

And I think there's some high degree of accuracy that a lot of women feel about that like I feel about canned spinach. Which is to say, it's fine that it exists and others enjoy it, but please don't put it on my plate or ask me to eat it or even really look at it or smell it.

nam24 · 2026-08-13T17:21:45+00:00

Is your thesis "bi men gets the straight men treatments as they lack the appeal "isn't interested in fucking me" than purely gay men have?"

Because this seem to ignore most cases where bi men will report being rejected specifically after the woman/women in question learned they're bi or seeing/heating women talk directly about bi men in general as a negative. They're not just them being rejected from the outset or not Being seeked out.

EqualJellyfish6914 · 2026-08-13T17:00:40+00:00

If you want to say it isn't homophobic then you're going to have to give a reason for the disgust towards homosexual relationships that isn't homophobic.

If you're trying to say it isn't homosexual sex they're disgusted by but male sexuality, then why are these women looking to date any man, if they are disgusted by men? That's doesn't make any sense.

I assume the only answer is that women are disgusted by men and only have sex with men because they feel like they have to. That would be a plausable, non-bigoted, reason for being disgusted by bisexual men - it's actually all men they're disgusted by.

Training-Cook3507 · 2026-08-13T17:18:39+00:00

We're in a rough spot when a woman comes on here and just feels it should be socially acceptable to say bisexuality or male homosexuality is disgusting.

These-Purpose-7019 · 2026-08-13T22:08:32+00:00

This convo is silly why is hard for women to understand that they aren't as progressive as they like to think, that they also uphold the patriarchy too?

I mean if a straight man said all bi men are dieased ridden feminine cheaters, people wouldn't have a problem with labeling him a homo/biphobe, but straight women gets a pass just cause they see them as pets?

That's been the funniest thing about this whole debate its not even against all women, as conservative women dont have problem stating their reasons and don't care about being labeled homophobic, its the liberal women who treat gays as pets who are offended. The type to call straight men homophobic while having the same beliefs as him.

Kooky-Address2777 · 2026-08-13T17:31:34+00:00

Yes, it is homophobic. It isn't misandrist because most men do not engage in gay acts, and also because bi men are seen as feminine.

Straight men, straight women, and even many bi men themselves can be homophobic. Bi women, lesbians, and gay men can be homophobic to themselves or to others.

Foyles_War · 2026-08-13T17:16:10+00:00

So are you saying men who like lesbian porn like it because they don't like sex with women and that lesbian sex has nothing to do with them and "takes them out of the picture?"

Somehow that don't seem right.

LaFrescaTrumpeta · 2026-08-13T18:24:39+00:00

edit: OP if you happen to see this i’d be curious to hear your thoughts on my comment, i’ve made some of these points on this sub a handful of times before and they never get a response i’d actually really love to have a convo in this stuff

i buy that that’s the case for some women but that’s just not true in every case. look under the surface of this kind of biphobia and there’s usually a prejudice against men being feminine. the ultimate form of femininity to many people is “attraction to and willingness to be fucked by men,” which has tons of negative associations made about it along the lines of “being penetrated = being weak.”

in my experience, when i talked to friends who said they’d never date a bi guy, a few questions under the surface was all it took to see that they actually had some complex prejudices about seeing men as feminine bc they had complex prejudices about femininity. namely femininity being seen as lesser than masculinity. that’s misogyny, and tons of women struggle with internalized misogyny. for example, one of my friends actually said that line if you’ve heard this before, “i already have a pussy, i don’t need another one.” again asking a few Qs and it turns out she was using pussy pejoratively even in applying to herself, saw herself as weak/a follower/insert anti-feminine stereotype here, and she associated that with bi men bc she associated those negative things with wanting sex with men. i think for a lot of women with internalized misogyny, on some level explicit or implicit, they see their femininity as a deficit in their self-worth where the only way to boost their self-worth is to have a partner who is masculine, bc they straight up see it as superior.

“being penetrated = lesser” is why there are tooooons of men who shit on queer men, too, according to some queer men including at least one person in these threads, men are usually even more prejudiced and hateful against bi men. those negative associations are why we have a million different insults/ways to say “get penetrated/lol you like being penetrated” like “get fucked” and “cocksucker” with seemingly no equivalent insults for the penetrator being lesser; there are insults like motherfucker or being a dick, but those insults are more along the lines of abusing power not lacking power. the one getting fucked is almost always seen as lesser than the one doing the fucking. it’s why even in W/W and M/M circles there’s a bit of a hierarchy of “tops” > “bottoms” and a stigma with being a “bottom.” i’ve seen gay men and gay women who are tops get offended by being assumed they ever switch, i’ve only ever seen bottoms be embarrassed of admitting they bottom.

(side note but i also think these associations with being penetrated are related to why bi men are often assumed to be gay, same with straight men who like being pegged, and bi women and even lesbians are assumed to be straight, it’s like enjoying being penetrated gets assumed to mean that’s their ultimate preference, and it has negative associations made about it left and right).

long story short i buy that sometimes women’s biphobia against men is an expression of misandry, but i buy that more often it’s rooted in misogyny. would love to hear others thoughts on this, i find the subject fascinating as well as the “misandry or misogyny?” question

divingrose77101 · 2026-08-13T17:19:07+00:00

I don’t think it matters the motivation behind any preference at all. It’s just a preference. I don’t like to date men who show up in sandals to a date. Is that bigotry against people with toes? I don’t like to date bald men. Preference. I don’t date broke men or men without a degree. It doesn’t mean I deny the humanity or have any hatred or disgust for men who haven’t been to college. I just don’t go on dates with them.

Not wanting to date a bald man or a bisexual man is just a preference. It doesn’t matter where it comes from.

Solondthewookiee · 2026-08-13T17:37:36+00:00

I would actually just like it if predominantly straight red pill men stopped using my sexuality to bash women, especially since the biphobia men experience is typically much more severe from men, including from red pillers up until just a few years ago.

AutoModerator · 2026-08-13T16:22:17+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Flightlessbirbz · 2026-08-13T18:02:52+00:00

I would not go so far as to say women who date men are “disgusted by male sexuality.” Disgust is a strong emotion that tends to prevent one from wanting to engage with the object of disgust on the level that straight women engage with male sexuality.

However, fear of being cheated on is pretty much universal, and I did bring up in a previous discussion on this topic the fact that men themselves tend to portray women as the only limiting factor on their sexuality. Consider the statement “men are only as faithful as their options.” So it’s hardly surprising that some women are going to put two and two together and not trust a man who will sleep with men to be faithful to them.

But my real question is why does there have to be just one reason some women who don’t seem to be homophobic don’t want to date bi men? It’s very possible that some really do carry some homophobia or biphobia, some consider men “only as faithful as their options” and have fears of being cheated on, some think bi people are closeted gay or “need both” and likewise fear being cheated on, some consider them less masculine, some actually have internalized misogyny and see sleeping with men as degrading, and the list goes on.

I don’t personally consider any of those reasons particularly sound, which is unsurprising considering I married a bi man. But I definitely do think some women who refuse to date bi men are simply in denial about bigotry, while for others, it’s much more about simply not wanting to worry about being cheated on with a whole other demographic of people (men) well-known to be “easier” than women.

Chicken_Nugget_2 · 2026-08-13T19:33:55+00:00

What aspects of male sexuality do you think we're disgusted by?

No-Surround7430 · 2026-08-13T22:56:25+00:00

I’m a woman, and I don’t find male sexuality inherently disgusting. I can be attracted to gay, bi, and straight men without seeing male sexuality as something inherently repulsive, so clearly this isn’t some universal female instinct.

And I agree that some women have a personal preference not to sleep with bi men, but that doesn’t make the prejudice behind that preference natural or inevitable. There are women, myself included, who are attracted to bi men because we don’t see someone’s sexuality as something that makes a man less desirable or less of a man.

And when a woman enjoys gay male sexuality in fiction, it can simply be because she enjoys sexuality without having to be the object of male desire herself.

purplejellyotter · 2026-08-14T02:14:24+00:00

I dont find male sexuality disgusting. I do find anal disgusting though and anyone who has tried to push me into doing it.

Robot_Alchemist · 2026-08-14T04:19:15+00:00

I’m a gay woman and don’t find male sexuality disgusting

s0ngsforthedeaf · 2026-08-13T17:10:40+00:00

Ots nice the right have found a new way to justify their homophobia - use homophobic women as a vector. Its a genius policy!

Women can have whatever sexual preferemce they want, as has been discussed on here many times. But so frequently, the preference posts are accompanied by 'I find it disgusting' and 'I dont think a real man has sex with other men'.

Im stunned that they think this way, and cant resist saying it. Truly.

PrecisionHat · 2026-08-13T19:20:58+00:00

Sorry but where is the evidence that women are disgusted by male sexuality?

As a premise, that seems flimsy.

Also, what is the actual reason women would be turned off by bi men when they are not turned off by straight men?

It's deeply rooted homophobic pretense. That's all.

Present-Afternoon-70 · 2026-08-13T17:50:02+00:00

Do you know how enormous male/male shipping is in fandom? Straight women, bi women, lesbian women—women across sexualities consume and create M/M fanfiction, fan art, romance, and erotica. It's literally one of the most popular forms of shipping. The claim that "women find male sexuality disgusting" falls apart the second you look outside this tiny tradcon bubble.

Women don't inherently find male sexuality disgusting. Homophobes find male homosexuality disgusting. People steeped in patriarchal gender roles and compulsory heterosexuality are taught to find certain expressions of male sexuality disgusting. Those aren't the same thing.

Everybody here keeps taking their little slice of tradcon sexual morality and declaring it universal female nature. It isn't. Gay people have existed as long as humans have. Trans and gender-diverse people have existed across cultures and history. Human sexuality and gender have never fit neatly into the rigid little boxes you're pretending are biological inevitabilities.

And controlling sexuality has always been an incredibly effective way of controlling people: define which relationships are legitimate, which desires are shameful, and who someone is permitted to fuck, marry, or love.

So yes, when the argument is "bisexual men are disgusting specifically because they have sex with men," that's homophobia. When bisexuality itself makes them categorically undesirable, that's biphobia and bi erasure. And dressing it up as "women just naturally hate male sexuality" adds sexism on top by pretending women's sexuality is some biologically predetermined monolith.

You're not defending women's sexuality. You're restricting it to the version of women's sexuality that fits your ideology.

Title	the bi men conversation is silly
Author	Numerous-Month-7688
Upvotes	0
Comments	245
Date	August 13, 2026 4:22 PM UTC (5 days ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1vnfgiy/the_bi_men_conversation_is_silly/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-bi-men-conversation-is-silly.1632888 https://theredarchive.com/post/1632888

Comments