So she finally cheated [LTR]

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March 27, 2019
234 upvotes

I've been posting questions about this here for the past 3 months. You may check my post history with questions about insecurities, cheating, hypergamy etc.

My LTR of 2.5 years, let's call her Kate, cheated on me with this guy from college, let's call him Shane.

Shane was my friend. Kate knew Shane through me. About 3-4 months ago I started seeing a pattern, both of them were coming to college together, going together, caught her chatting with him on WhatsApp a couple of times.

Shane had become her beta orbiter. And she was showing signs of attraction to him. I enforced my boundaries and started giving her less attention, didn't reply to her texts at times. I knew internally that something fishy was going on.

She told me a week ago, "If you ever think there is something between me and Shane, keep in mind that there is nothing and you're just insecure"

Had another argument about 5 days back with her as I caught her chatting with him when we were having lunch(in college). She basically said to my face "CAN'T I HAVE GUY FRIENDS OTHER THAN YOU?! YOU ARE SO REGRESSIVE AND PATRIARCHAL" and left.

We weren't talking since this^ (she didn't reach out cause she already had Shane giving her validation)

Yesterday another good friend of mine(let's call him Vivian) saw them together in a mall, having lunch together. They bunked lectures and went on a date.

I think they both saw Vivian there and probably feared that he would tell me about this. So Kate called me today and told me that she and Shane went on a date.

I never thought this could happen. I mean they were getting close and she was pulling away from me, but she literally went out with him 3 days after our argument. Idk whether or not there was intimacy after the date.

This isn't even hypergamous. Shane is below me in SMV. Idk what she saw in him.

So basically Shane violated the bro code. And about Kate, well hypergamy(?) doesn't care.

I know, I just have to keep improving myself, lift and game other women. Abundance mentality.

But just the fact that I will see these guys together on campus everyday for the next 18 months is what will reopen the wound and hurt me.

I feel like shit. Fuck.


Post Information
Title So she finally cheated [LTR]
Author l0gicbomb
Upvotes 234
Comments 196
Date 27 March 2019 01:19 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/223449
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/b64ed8/so_she_finally_cheated_ltr/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
betaabundanceorbitercheatinghypergamylong term relationshipsexual market valueliftgameclose
Comments

[–]Son_of_Gatsby240 points241 points  (26 children) | Copy

Very shitty situation, but it seems like you already know what went wrong and what you need to do.

It does sound like this outcome was very inevitable though, so next time you might want to jump ship sooner, rather than watching it sink with you on it. You're in college and you should always have options ready, even in an LTR. Girls always keep these options ready by default

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat132 points133 points  (14 children) | Copy

Doesn’t seem to me that he knows what went wrong.

In fact he explicitly says he doesn’t know what went wrong since he says:

I never thought this could happen. [...] This isn't even hypergamous. Shane is below me in SMV. Idk what she saw in him.

What went wrong is that OP’s girl showed she didn’t respect him at all by doubling down on her bad behaviour after he made it clear it was not ok with him, and that instead of dropping her as anyone with abundance mentality would have done, he decided to stay with her instead. His scarcity mentality convinced him that he had to save this relationship so he mate-guarded: he confronted, ignored her a bit, argued, added some drama, and rationalised that he was doing it all right. OP failed to see that by not nexting her, he kept on demonstrating to her that his pseudo-boundaries were not in fact boundaries. OP also failed to understand that SMV is much more than height, facial features and bank account balance. That not leaving someone who disrespects you is the most glaring proof of powerlessness, and that powerlessness is low SMV. And despite the fact that after months of him demonstrating his low SMV to the point she finds Shane a better prospect, he still believes his SMV is higher than him.

OP has a fundamental lack of understanding of intersexual dynamics. But then his mistake is common and I must admit I was guilty of it as well pre-TRP.

If anyone disrespects you, you owe it to yourself to break the contract you have with said person or else you set yourself up for more disrespect. In relationships, if your girl disrespects you and double down on it when you express or show that it’s not ok with you, then you MUST next. Yes it’s hard when you have scarcity-fueled ONEitis, but failure to do so will only make it worse.

That’s what went wrong and that’s what OP needs to understand if he doesn’t want that story to repeat in the future.

[–]theherosmyth23 points24 points  (1 child) | Copy

Damn.. screenshotted this. Spot on

[–]Lightways4342 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Did the same quality observation

[–]Cross_De_Lena7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

I was looking for someone in the comment section to point this out. This is the difference between being familiar with TRP principles and living by them.

[–]NeuroBoss312 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

OP also failed to understand that SMV is much more than height, facial features and bank account balance

Haha my man!

[–]redpillcad4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Top analysis here

Let Cad share the tactics when OP catches them texting

Hum here comes the bride....tell Shane (within her earshot) there is no need to sneak around and that a double team works for you and probably makes her panties wet thinking about it. Be a real pompous dick with your non neediness as if she were a piece of trash to you.

Watch her drop Shane like yesterday

[–]2319Skew10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Or game other women, stop being emotionally invested in the cunt and realize that he's got a long life of banging hotter women with less drama.

As for what to do when you see them, treat it like you lost a $20. It sucks but it's gone. No sense in making it into a big deal.

Your game turned the LTR into a lemon. Learn and move on.

NEVER show that it bothered you.

[–]1walawalawa1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

OP has a fundamental lack of understanding of intersexual dynamics. But then his mistake is common and I must admit I was guilty of it as well pre-TRP.

This is it: hypergamy. It's neither your friend nor your enemy but a concept to be understood and managed.

[–]Scott1001TV1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

What if your girl disrespects you but apologize? Is this a sign of respect? Of course she could be lying and being dishonest, and you could be setting yourself up for more disrespect if you accept such apologies, but it does sound better than her doubleing down on it.

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

As usual, watch what she does not what she says.

Girls can be professional liars so don’t give any weight to her apologies or tears, but if you feel like giving her a chance, just accept them for now and watch her actions afterwards to see if she does regret and repent.

If she genuinely does not want to lose you, she will change her behaviour right away. She will actually be looking to prove it to you. But if she doesn’t really care if you break up with her or if she doesn’t believe that you would actually break up, then she’ll just go on. It should be quite obvious.

[–]good_guy_submitter 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

I gotta say, this is exactly it.

Unless you are married with kids. Then it's not a game. The stakes are extremely high, hard nexting is not an option, and you do what you gotta do but at no point is that bitching out like OP did.

The solution here was simple. He should have just said this to her when he found her chatting to him he first time. "I am not worried, you can talk to Shane as much as you want, he wouldn't ever lie to me and I know you aren't a cheater. Anyhow I will be busy for the next few days and not available. See ya."

And then went silent converted her to a plate. She likely would have not slept with Shane then because Shane is low smv but being propped by his jealousy.

Her hamster brain goes "If boyfriend sees Shane as competition, he must be high smv otherwise he wouldn't worry." She doesn't understand that it's the fact that any willing dick within 100 miles would fuck her if her whore cunt if they could and the only thing stopping deciding whether that happens or not is her hamster brain.

[–]HurricaneHugues-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

"The solution here was simple. He should have just said this to her when he found her chatting to him he first time. "I am not worried, you can talk to Shane as much as you want, he wouldn't ever lie to me and I know you aren't a cheater. Anyhow I will be busy for the next few days and not available. See ya.""

Leave those silly mind games for women. He should've mentally checked out of the relationship right then and there. The girl has already revealed herself to not be a quality girlfriend, there was no more time to waste. A quality girl knows it's wrong to do shit like that and wouldn't do it in the first place. It's not your job to teach these hoes shit their parents should've taught them.

[–]asktrp4433110 points111 points  (3 children) | Copy

When dealing with LTRs I've noticed the captain often wants to go down with the ship.

Chalk it up to the emotional masochism required to even partake in an LTR.

[–]the13thmonk15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is a pretty high quality observation .

Nice way to put it

[–]forsaken_in_the_dark8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Captain's untreated oneitis...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Part of it is taking accountability.

[–]Monkitail18 points19 points  (3 children) | Copy

More importantly why is OP calling his male friends Vivian?

[–]good_guy_submitter 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

Female friend = preselection if hot.

[–]goathunter051 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Wtf are you talking about? As OP states Vivian is a male whose name isn't actually Vivian.

[–]dDiegoDLV2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

One of my big takeaways from TRP is to break up when a woman starts doing something you don’t like.

You can’t talk to them about it or you get the patriarchy garbage OP got from his gf. Feminism has instilled a fuck you attitude towards men in most women. Something that was a reasonable request 30 years ago (don’t be lining up other men) now makes you a controlling asshole.

  • Don’t get attached
  • keep your game sharp, never stop flirting
  • when your turn is over walk away on your own terms

[–]asorals1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yep. I had done this. A case of oneitis and wanting to make sure I did everything humanly possible to work it out

[–]hmsthinkingmeat159 points160 points  (9 children) | Copy

When you see them on campus you shouldn't feel bad, it should bring a big shit eating grin to your face because:

1) You found out what a THOT she is before you invested any more time, effort, emotions, or money into her;

2) You've learned a valuable lesson about how AWALT and are way ahead of the curve than more dudes - most of us find TRP after being dumped on badly, and we're usually by then in our 20's, 30's or even older.

3) You also found out what an ass-hat your supposed friend is, and have got to cut him loose before he really craps on you over something really important.

It won't be long before she does the same to him, so all in all you've come out of this far better off than when you went into it.

[–]the13thmonk54 points55 points  (5 children) | Copy

This dude. Especially given that you were dating for 2.5 years.

That’s a serious relationship, maybe leading into marriage etc. if that’s what your aim is.

I feel like if you really want hell, marry someone like this, then have kids, THEN find out.

It should 100% bring a grin to your face seeing them/her after your hurt fades

[–]QueenSlapFight18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah while OP should rightfully feel hurt, she did him a huge favor by showing her colors now rather than later.

[–]An_Actual_Politician5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

This EXACT same thing happened to me, only I was married with two really small kids.

It hurt, probably the same that OP got hurt, and the remedy is the same. Mission first, channel all anger into lifting, abundance....unfuck myself.

I'll just say this since I have a long way to go. Even those of us who get knocked down facing our ultimate fear dead in the face. The solution of MRP, drive and a belief in yourself? Trust the process and getting up again, better than ever, isn't only possible. It's inevitable.

[–]the13thmonk6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

The difference between you and OP tho unfortunately is that you’re bound to this woman through your kids for the next double digit amount of years

[–]An_Actual_Politician3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Absolutely. But the initial hurt and shock is the same, I guarantee that. And the inclination to play the victim and backslide as a man is like a drug.

MRP is the way to acknowledge and traverse all those pitfalls and actually come out stronger than ever.

I'm thankful every day for this sub and the guys who add value to it.

[–]the13thmonk1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Same ^

[–]BradTheGymRat8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Love this.

Will try to remember and use this mindset as well.

[–]QueenSlapFight6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree with what you're getting at, but it'd just like to add you never invest time, energy, and money in a woman; you only spend it. Investing implies you'll get it back with some value. Spending means it's gone forever and has nothing to do with the present day.

[–]dtyler866 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Best reply yet

[–]fnncktbjhmkhed80 points81 points  (5 children) | Copy

She held red flags every sentence of this post, and you didn’t see one of them. If anything she did you the favor of being direct about it instead of making you find out 6 months into it. Learn how to identify red flags and good luck.

[–]the13thmonk20 points21 points  (2 children) | Copy

Also in LTRs you need to set boundaries and adamantly stick to them.

This is a great opportunity for a lesson.

When she said back the patriarchy needs more male friends than you etc. it should have crossed boundaries you set and you should have been prepared to next her.

Do this next time. Set the boundaries in the first place and stick to them.

[–]HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You don't set boundaries in LTR, you just enforce them. Ifnyou have to mention it, you already lost. Keep your standards to yourself, like a mental checklist, if you will. If she doesn't meet your standards naturally, then you are not compatible. Don't try to change her. Learn to accept people for who they are.

[–]the13thmonk1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hard disagree.

People change. Because she didn’t like the club when you met her doesn’t mean she won’t. However a boundary here would be hanging out at a club wouldn’t be acceptable.

Imo it’s important to set clear boundaries. AND be prepared to walk if they aren’t met.

Everyone changes and grows. If you don’t discuss and set exact expectations for what success will look like in the relationship you’re not going to land there

[–]CasaDeFranco6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Can you break down the red flags further individually?

[–]askmrcia10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Texting his Shane, going to college and leaving the college with Shane, getting defensive

[–]exit_sandman91 points92 points  (4 children) | Copy

I never thought this could happen. I mean they were getting close and she was pulling away from me, but she literally went out with him 3 days after our argument. Idk whether or not there was intimacy after the date.

This is what hoes do - they'll literally lie to your face that they aren't cheating and/or branch swinging and love you more than anything else, and then will drop you at a moment's notice.

The problem isn't that this is completely standard behavior - the problem is that women who do this can be so much in denial about what they're doing that they actually believe what they say.

Also, don't beat yourself up about it. Just ask yourself whether you would truly want to date a woman like that.

[–]mrrooftops-3 points-2 points  (3 children) | Copy

It should be called Beta abuse.

[–]igotreasons 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Lmfao

Suck it up buttercup, this ain’t inceltears

[–]mrrooftops-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hey brainstem. Betas get abused. Don't be one, you twitchy beta.

[–][deleted] 72 points73 points  (7 children) | Copy

Go out 3-4 nights a week and talk to chicks. Hell, you should already be approaching 2-3 hotties on campus everyday during daytime. Get on Tinder as well. Report back in 3 weeks.

[–]DecentUnderperformer17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

This right here.

[–]Gordon-G27 points28 points  (1 child) | Copy

It’s a freaking buffet of Tits & Arse at college. Especially with more girls in college than guys today. You’ll never have better odds and more options to shag harpies

[–]the13thmonk14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

Tbh I’ve had way better luck after college. can still get with college girls by going to college towns. Except now have money/older/game is better

[–]the-dan-man0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I need someone to hold me accountable for a challenge like this. Know of any communities for that?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I quit watching porn and wanking. Then I started to come home only to sleep, eat or fuck. Spent most of my time outside and would see all these hotties walking around....I just couldn't contain myself from eyeing and chatting them up.

[–]the-dan-man0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

On campus? How did that work out? There are a lot around, but most are in groups or hella younger than me.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's all good, man. As long as she's above the age of consent, it's all good.

[–][deleted] 31 points32 points  (1 child) | Copy

She refused to commit because I said I don't want to marry her.

You said this two months ago. You're either full of shit now, or you were full of shit then.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think the give-away was naming a guy "Vivian." Like WTF?

[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire224 points25 points  (3 children) | Copy

Ha. Don't feel bad, bro. Take it as a sign that she didn't think that you would be with her long-term. She's probably realizing that she should find a nice beta to lock down, and she thinks that you are too high in SMV as a long-term prospect. I mean, she could spend the next three to five years with you, and meanwhile you will be using her like a whore, but for free, then you will gradually get bored, not "feel" it anymore, and then, richer, more accomplished, and better dressed, will start screwing someone younger, hotter, and tighter, leaving her high and dry.

I mean, maybe YOU can't see it yet, but she can. It happens all the time.

People on here complain about how women use them, but there is a significant sub-category of wealthy, or high-enough-status, or upperwardly mobile men that go through women like disposable juice-boxes, sucking the youth out of them, then passing them on to the next.

So, if you are already TRP aware, she probably picked up on it, and also she probably reads her own female version of gender politics that explains away your behavior in a way that will preserve her self-esteem, hence her pejoratively labeling your behavior as "patriarchal" and "regressive," when in fact, you were right on the money. I mean if you were openly fucking other women, or spending time with them, you would ALSO be "patriarchal" and regressive, so....

I would just let them go do their thing. But easier said than done, and if you have slept with someone and developed an emotional attachment, it's hard to see things clearly, and it is still painful.

I once had some girl I hooked up with first "cheat" with a guy about 2-3 notches below me, then she LTR'd a guy who was 2-3 notches below THAT guy. This guy was a 4, and she was 6-7. But she wanted security because she had ridden the cock carousel and gotten plowed by a bunch of dudes. I was so bluepilled, I had no clue and didn't put anything into context.

[–]hamagiclamp7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

she thinks that you are too high in SMV as a long-term prospect. I mean, she could spend the next three to five years with you, and meanwhile you will be using her like a whore, but for free, then you will gradually get bored, not "feel" it anymore, and then, richer, more accomplished, and better dressed, will start screwing someone younger, hotter, and tighter, leaving her high and dry.

This hit me hard

[–]GarethBaleWannabe2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Those this happen often... girl thinks your SMV is too high so she proactively nuke the relationship because of her insecurity?

[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire25 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think it played a role in my last breakup. I got exasperated with her at one point when we moved in together, and her reaction, was, "Well, should I move out then?" I was dumbfounded by this, because I grew up in a household with daily, contentious arguing, that always resolved itself, because it was conducted mainly for entertainment purposes. People would say horrible things, but it was all just bark is worse than bite stuff. And then, all the female platonic female friends were suspected as being my plates, even the homely ones! Meanwhile, she would do stuff the some guys would get insecure about, but I had a pretty thick skin, and so was chill about it, but if I did anything, she would get super insecure. I think she assumed that I was going to dump her, and so she got out early to save her ego, but I literally fought until the end. She was basically either super difficult, or crazy, so I was playing the game on insane mode. She would say stuff like, "Your self esteem is way too high. You have too much power. You shouldn't have this much power." I really just wanted her to shape up and stop being a flaky, disorganized, chronically late idiot, but nope. I think she thought that since I was older, I would be easy for her to control because I would be grateful. She did have a lot of good qualities, but the craziness and the goals and values didn't align.

[–]Duke31825 points26 points  (14 children) | Copy

This is precisely why anyone that says "I don't care about beta orbiters because they're beneath me and I'm alpha as fuck!" is an idiot.

Any woman that entertains beta orbiters lacks emotional maturity and proper boundaries. It's only a matter of time before one of them slips in.

Get out and go zero contact if it isn't obvious to you already. The big red flag was the "you're insecure" line, followed by that "regressive" comment.

[–]chadsvasc10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Essentially blaming others for the problem she is causing. Female hamstering/mental gymnastics 101.

[–]HurricaneHugues3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Exactly. A respectable woman who was raised in a good household knows and practices these boundaries. Her mom didn't have guy friends, and her dad was a solid dude. She will seek to duplicate their lifestyle in a way to reach the same relationship success for herself.

Guy friends? Good for you, but I don't commit.

[–]Duke318 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

My parents have been married for almost 50 years. Recently, there was some event where my mother learned that her ex-boyfriend from high school would be there. She suddenly had no interest in attending. Imagine that, 50+ years later she had zero interest in reminiscing with an ex.

[–]HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

They're called exes for a reason. What's there to reminisce about? It's been 50 years.

[–]l0gicbomb[S] 3 points4 points  (9 children) | Copy

I had a problem with her having beta orbiters, but I thought every girl has them and I was clearly above them in SMV, she wasn't that close to him(back then) so I didn't care a lot about it (as you say, this was a mistake)

I thought Shane was just a beta orbiter until they both started getting more and more close to each other, that's when I told her to stay away from him if she wants to stay with me. She didn't listen, she still used to sneakily chat and talk to him.

This was the breaking point where I had the argument where she made the "patriarchal and regressive" comment. It pretty much was no-contact from that point on until I came to know that she's going on dates with him.

[–]failingtheturingtest13 points14 points  (6 children) | Copy

Understand this. If you tell a sheila to stay away from a beta orbiter, he's no longer a beta orbiter. He is now your competition.

Sheilas are very solipsistic. They view the world in a way that suits their internal narrative. If she sees you as alpha, and you see him as competition, he must also be alpha. If you are concerned about her spending time with him, you think he's likely to win, therefore he's more alpha than you.

She then only needs to warp her perspective to make that reality. "well, he would be a good provider. Gets good grades. And his hair lip, bung eye and girly walk kind of make him look like Joaquin Phoenix." boom, you just made little girly boy a fucking superstar.

This is precisely why people are told over and over and over and over that mate guarding is counter productive.

[–]LogicalOlive1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Many people need to screenshot this.

[–]l0gicbomb[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Fuck that makes sense. Thanks.

[–]juliusstreicher2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Are you thinking of taking her back if she comes crawling?

You had better get that stupid thought out of your head, if you are.

[–]l0gicbomb[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Na man she outright disrespected me. I was thinking of complete no contact.

[–]pridebrah0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Great post.

[–]Duke3180 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you're a man that actually has options, why would you be dating anyone that hangs out with other guys 1vs1 on any kind of regular basis? You don't have to be controlling about it, just don't date women that are crawling with orbiters. Done.

[–]pridebrah2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I had a problem with her having beta orbiters, but I thought every girl has them and I was clearly above them in SMV

It's not so much about the SMV comparison as it is the orbiters giving her what you're not. Go to my post history and look for a thread I started a couple months ago where my LTR cheated with a beta. Read the replies I got. A lot of good stuff in there that is dead on.

Also, she will burn this Shane guy. Guaranteed.

[–]l0gicbomb[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks!

[–]civilizedfrog68 points69 points  (4 children) | Copy

YOU ARE SO REGRESSIVE AND PATRIARCHAL

Patriarchy was right about her cheating ass.

Hard next her, faggot. Who gives a fuck if they are together or not. Now she gets to see different women with you everyday.

[–]Popeman7920 points21 points  (2 children) | Copy

YOU ARE SO REGRESSIVE AND PATRIARCHAL

Are there really people who talk like that in their day-to-day life? I believe that internet warriors write it, but actual students on a college campus? Scary. Jeez.

[–]the13thmonk12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yup. 100% there are

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

When she dropped the P-word, this was OP's cue to GTFO of this relationship.

[–]shredzro15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy

Man, the problem with asktrp is there so many pretend “alphas,” that only bash the poster and call them “faggot.” Real men teach, not just bash.

Back to the post. My only advice is to act like it doesn’t bother you. It kills people to know when there acts don’t bother you. They’ll act out more, be more obsessive, etc, just to get your attention. If they’re in your friend group they may try to flaunt a lot more in front of you.

Regardless, do not ever show it bothers you. If anything act amused by it. Get more women. You’re free brother.

Also, remember, “she’s not yours, it’s only your turn.”

[–]HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"Man, the problem with asktrp is there so many pretend “alphas,” that only bash the poster and call them “faggot.” Real men teach, not just bash"

Not only is there a sidebar that contains all the entire philosophy, but OP has been coming here for THREE MONTHS about this chick.

The thing with AskTRP is that all the advice one can receve here from users van be directly taken from the sidebar itself. It's like having your own personal RP advisor in your own mind. There would be no need for 90% of the posts here if people actually read the material. That's like calling your professor or another student everyday to get help with the homework, even though ubhave the fucking book.

[–]TheGreatGatzb13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

A very shitty situation all around, my friend.

A few notes:

He isn’t a Beta orbiter if she’s attracted to him. His SMV compared to yours doesn’t mean shit. He gave her tingles & you didn’t. It’s that simple.

She seems like a feminist cunt. I’m surprised that as a Red Pill man, you tolerated that kind of defiance. I would have walked away then & there (if not a long time ago).

Major props to your friend for telling you. Take him out for a drink & make sure he knows you’re appreciative for looking out for you.

A woman with guy friends is a woman waiting to cheat. Run the numbers, my friend. They never lie.

If there’s one thing I wish I could drive home to you... Never listen to what she says. Watch what she does.

Now go find a hottie thottie (or two/three) & forget about the cunt you left behind.

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K1812 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah, wtf? Your post history like u/mrmaldoror picked up, says you weren't in an LTR.

[–]l0gicbomb[S] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

And in my reply to u/mrmaldoror: I didn’t discover TRP before I got into an LTR, now I know that LTRs aren’t a viable option especially when young. I knew TRP was against an LTR that’s why I never called it an LTR in my previous posts. Learn my lesson about LTRs now, won’t be getting into one anytime soon.

About compsci, true but even Shane is compsci :/

Not complaining, it is what it is and I’ll embrace it and move on

[–]SlappaDaBayssMon1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

LTRs aren't inherinetly bad, it's just higher risk/reward than otherwise.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev30 points31 points  (21 children) | Copy

So, if you were maintaining sexual relationships with multiple women, you wouldn't give a shit. Think about this for the future.

[–]bruiser185 points6 points  (20 children) | Copy

I find this hard to do. I can maintain relationships with multiple women, but it’s always either ‘we’re both exclusive, or neither of us are’. I’d love to be able to maintain multiple one-sided exclusivity relationships like some guys on here. Beautiful thing.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev6 points7 points  (7 children) | Copy

That's because you're a young guy and all you are selling is basically: young dick. There are a lot of guys selling young dick so it's not as easy unless you are top 10%. You have not yet Become the Prize. Once you do, you will have women basically showing with with "vagina" as currency, and you can dictate terms...assuming you have made yourself awesome.

[–]250kcal4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy

Riddle me this man, how do you have time to handle more then one chick? With 60+ hours working, gym, video games, sports, going out with friends, family and camping. I only have one night free on Saturday to have fun with my fwb. So whats the secret? Do you not work? won the lottery/inheritance? retired? still in college?

I read these stories about people spinning multiple(3-5) plates and open relationships and I am just baffled, they have to be lying there is no way you can successfully find the time to do that and not sacrifice something huge in return.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

I'm 51. I work from home, so no commute. I don't play video games, at all, ever. No family close to where I live, I don't go camping. Lots of free time because I can get most of my shit (work, errands) done during the day. So basically I have 5-6 nights a week to bang women (1-2 are for my band). A couple of my plates are long term FWB that I only have to see once or twice a month for a few days. Simples.

[–]civilizedfrog0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Children?

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

None that I know of. I'm agnostic on kids. My OLTR1 announced today, at the ripe age of 23, that she would now like "loads" of kids, provided they were all boys. No word on why she prefers only boys.

[–]The_Red_Trooper1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

You are right. If you are a man who works and have hobbies then who has time to spend multiple plates. Either these guys are losers who chase pussy with no hobbies or they are lying.

[–]matt6750 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

There is a good amount of both on this sub

[–]bruiser181 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

True, not as easy to do as an 18 year old guy. I’ve got higher SMV than most guys my age though. Good looking, ripped, social status, making money, good game, preselection. My control game has been kinda shit because there’s not a lot of material on it. I’m finding it hard to instill the ‘you are exclusive to me, I’m not exclusive to you’ dynamic. When I want a girls exclusivity all I can really do is tell her something like girls who fuck me and only me get the time and attention that non-exclusive girls don’t. Kinda make her aware that exclusivity from her = more affection from me.

[–]failingtheturingtest5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Learn outcome independence. Here's how this conversation goes.

"Either we're both exclusive or neither of us are".

"That's fair." and silence.

Some will never contact you again. But...

Up to that point if you have held frame and showed your value, and she's seen it, she'll reach out in a few weeks to catch up. She will be MUCH more sexual because she's making a last ditch effort to get that sweet exclusivity. Sometimes it will be that meet up, sometimes the next, she will bring up the topic again.

You just remind her "I can't offer you exclusivity. But I'm much more attracted to girls who only want to be with me"

She either accepts it there or she never will.

At the end of it all, you still have what's inportant: your ability to game other women. Either this plate continues to spin, or breaks, but you're still golden.

[–]bruiser185 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah I get you. I like the “I’m much more attracted to girls who only want to be with me” thing. I say something similar myself. A kind of ‘you can have my dick, or you can have my dick & investment, but only exclusive girls get the second option. Something like that.

Either way, if you don’t like my terms, you can piss off and I’ll game other girls.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy

I’d love to be able to maintain multiple one-sided exclusivity relationships like some guys on here. Beautiful thing.

They're just dynamically managing their marital slots.

[–]bruiser180 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Yeah but man, imagine having a whole bunch of bitches who are exclusive to you and only you. That’s a world I’m gonna live in.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas-1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy

"Whole bunch" is just being greedy. And disrespectful as well.

[–]bruiser183 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

I’m a greedy, selfish bastard. You should be too.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hard pass

[–]Estrogenoxygen2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I like that attitude bruiser18.

[–]bruiser181 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

What’s disrespectful about it? If they’re agreeing to be exclusive, and you’re not hiding anything, how are you disrespecting them?

[–]Project_Zero_Betas1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Parenting time isn't a commodity.

[–]ImplodedVeggies0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

He didn’t say one sided.

[–]bruiser183 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

My point still stands

[–]SeasonedRP9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Make a mental note of all of her behavior changes that began when she got interested in this guy. All of a sudden becoming cold, distant, and starting silly arguments are big ones. Next time you begin seeing these signs, bail out and don't look back. Use this as a learning experience.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good. You found out she wasn’t the one to marry. Go on to the next one.

[–]mleko696 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

She basically said to my face "CAN'T I HAVE GUY FRIENDS OTHER THAN YOU?! YOU ARE SO REGRESSIVE AND PATRIARCHAL" and left.

I haven't seen a red flag this big, lol IMHO this is when shit was over.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Who gives a fuck if she cheated, you shouldn't give a fuck, she did you favor.. hell atleast you found out. Young woman move on.

[–]NiceTryDisaster4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks.

"But just the fact that I will see these guys together on campus everyday for the next 18 months is what will reopen the wound and hurt me"

Or you can turn into the social butterfly that is hugging and mingling with all the other girls on the campus in front of your ex-ltr. But I hope you've been doing that already.

[–]l0gicbomb[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I haven't been doing that. I literally said no to multiple girls who asked me out on a date just to maintain the integrity of my relationship with Kate. Lol I got fucked over. Now I know what to do.

[–]northernCAgrown1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Approach them now and say "that date offer still on the table? Let's grab a drink.."

[–]ChadTheWaiter1009 points10 points  (4 children) | Copy

Vivian is a girls name.

But who cares. This is what you do- act like you don’t give a fuck. Literally! Show no pain and do whatever you have to do to fuck women immediately! Ghost her and go no contact. When you see her, smile and talk to her as if nothing is wrong.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not in UK, S. Africa, etc. In the US, it is name for old ladies.

[–]l0gicbomb[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Lol I do know males with the name Vivian. Anyway, thanke! I understand everything except the "smile and talk to her as if nothing is wrong" Uhh... Why? I was thinking of sticking to no contact, no smiling/talking etc.

[–]ChadTheWaiter1003 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

To show her you’re happy on your own and your not negatively effected by her poor decisions.

[–]juliusstreicher1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You don't grab her and talk her ear off and give her your daily schedule and life's journal; you are about as polite as you are to the school librarian that wants to recommend a great botany book: You smile, nod your head and say "Thanks, see ya!"

You aren't supposed to go into her orbit, and become her BFF, or even 'friend'.

[–]awfulgoodness4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't confuse your ability to be hurt with what you think someone is worth.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMetalgear2223 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is more common than you think. Go radio silent and she will be back in less than 2 months. When she comes back, plate status only.

[–]HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

When she comes back, he ignores and keeps it pushing.

[–]AceMav213 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Go fuck a freshman

[–]northernCAgrown0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

*10 freshmen

[–]RedHoodhandles4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Erase both from your life. Also, what Auvergnat said.

[–]mortalcoil14 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I am going to respond to this from an older, more LTR focused perspective.

First off, in college, don't LTR. It's college my dude. You and her have been figuratively starving (high school/ living with parents) for years, and you both just went to the best buffet of your lives, and both of you are expecting that you will only eat one item?

Anyway. Many of us will get older and get past highschool/college and enter the adult world. In this world, sometimes you need an LTR. That is the reality of the world you l live in.

So if you had wanted to keep your LTR, which I don't recommend in college, this is where you went wrong.

"I enforced my boundaries and started giving her less attention, didn't reply to her texts at times. I knew internally that something fishy was going on."

Why does a female have beta orbiters? Attention and validation. She felt you were not giving her enough and she found it in a beta orbiter. So what do you do? Give her even less attention and validation. You pushed her towards exactly what she was craving.

You also mate guarded hard. If your SMV is higher than "Shane," then you don't mate guard. You pushed her right to him.

Giving your LTR attention and validation does not make you a bitch. It makes you in an LTR. You were treating your LTR like a plate. If you want a plate, then get a plate. If you want an LTR, then you have to treat her like an LTR.

[–]rcwhitaker6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Frankly, women are guilty until proven innocent in today's world.

Guilty thots will be treated, at most, as a plate. If innocence can be proven by some point, meaning she knows how to treat an alpha properly, and an alpha status is attained by the male, then commitment can be considered.

If at any point her values and behaviors (same thing) present as being incongruent with the ideal, you drop her to a plate. No questions asked. Theres no sympathy here, these are her problems and theyre for her to manage, if she fails she gets the option of plate or the relationship ends altogether. You simply say, "I'm going to look at other options now," which is exactly what your GF was doing herself, but you also DO IT, you dont just say it to run game.

Are you capable of doing that to your GF of 2 years? would she even accept that status? This is what makes TRP (being a self-respecting and dignified man) potentially challenging. Do you have the finesse to manage that transition? Are you willing to risk losing your gaurunteed weekly lay for the foreseeable future?

Betas have one answer, Alphas another.

[–]Hardwire62 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dude i really like the fact that you know how to progress now . Just be happy that she left you early because if this thing turned to something else , it would have hurt a lot more . Let her cheat on your scumbag "friends" ass too.

[–]buttgoogler2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck both Shane and Kate, who the fuck needs a shitty betrayer bro and a cheating thot anyway. Get better, not bitter.

Remove them from your life and stay active.

[–]Angelrun2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Heads up: Your boy is not your boy.

[–]cafeitalia2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Looks like in her eyes Shane has much higher smv than you. Move on and don't think about it. Life happens.

[–]1walawalawa2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

The best reaction to this is NO REACTION.

They're both dead to you, invisible. Ignore, avoid, ghost.

This will be hard at first but consider it like kicking an addiction.

I made the mistake of chasing my ex who did something similar. Then one day I asked her out and she made up some excuse. I ghosted her.

That was 4 years ago. I only started speaking to her in social situations this past month and it was because 1. I no longer give a shit 2. She made the effort to come out when I was djing and I figure myeh, throw her a cookie.

4 years no contact. Let that sink in.

[–]rpthrowaway11042 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You'll forget about the whole ordeal within a year, and by midway it will barely sting, but it's cool to feel frustrated, shitty, and shitty as you essentially go through withdrawal - complete with many intense emotions. A lot of people will say to look up meditation and go hard on lifting and stuff... All valid suggestions. However, it's fine to just mope and chill hard for a week or three. Eventually, you will get sick of feeling down on yourself and that will be the moment to delve into a new trajectory. That way, the desire to get your shit together to self will be a result of a natural, masculine catalyst, rather than the immediate need for a coping mechanism. Cheers bro

[–]omega_dawg932 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

YOU might have a bro code, and your buddy might have a bro code, but eager, easy pussy dissolves the bro code in about 3 seconds. women give zero fucks about the bro code.

the only bro code i use is the following: "i will NEVER get mad, angry, upset, or jealous at another man for TAKING what is being freely, willingly, and eagerly GIVEN to him from a woman."

if she's bringing him the pussy, she wants him to enjoy it.

fuck up #1: you're rating men in SMV. that's not your job. you will NEVER be able to tell what women find attractive in a man. most times, WOMEN don't know why they find certain guys attractive.

fuck up #2: if you had a true abundance mentality, you'd have multiple plates lined-up. you do have oneitis.

instead of worrying about seeing them together, you should be prepared to smile when they see you with this girl, that girl, those girls, etc.

move on. and stop crying. your buddy did you a favor; she isn't worth any of your energy.

[–]mrheh2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Rule #1 Never trust any fucking guy with your woman, period. They will fuck them without the slightest hesitation.

[–]thatbadrogue22 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

what you didn't write anywhere in this post is, "I broke up with her." You complained, you whined, you were confused, you had an epiphany, ...but you didn't resolve the issue. Shane's not a bro, there's no such thing as a bro-code. He macked your woman and you're upset because a "low SMV beta orbiter" swooped you. You should play plates, and friends with benefits for awhile - relationships are very hard for very little reward, and only for those people willing to compromise. The only positive about them if you're not looking for marriage is sex on demand. You'll learn a lot about women by playing safe and casual. You'll learn a LOT about women if you end up befriending a sexually outgoing woman. Those bitches tell you things you would've never even thought went through a fragile little flower-like mind.

[–]drsherbert2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Shane could at the very least use a slap to the mouth for posing as a friend and fucking your old lady. Fuck the girl. Bro code violations should come with some form of repercussion.

[–]pridebrah1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree, but sadly the law exists so we can't beat their ass. However, the next best thing is that these dudes always get burned by the chick they got with. Shane will be miserable one way or another.

[–]gains_o_clock2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I honestly would have rethought my life after receiving the "regressive and patriarchal" comment after 2.5 years with the girl bro...

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (9 children) | Copy

You are just young and stupid.

Also your post history says you weren't even in a LTR?

Stop posting silly stories about your love life on TRP because you are clueless to everything going on around you. Throwing words around like you know what they mean. Assessing your own SMV and others like your shit don't stink.

Keep reading material here, stay out of relationships for a while, work on yourself and enjoy life.

----

p.s. go to sleep tonight, forget everyone and everything about your situation and start tomorrow a new man

p.s.s you are in comp-sci, you are literally the lowest SMV at uni. I was a handsome tanned exotic looking young man and could bench 120kg at uni, but I also did comp sci, my SMV was 1/10

p.s.ss don't waste time with fat chicks.

[–]htbf23 points24 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your major means nothing. As long as you're charming and exude passion.

[–]its4thecatlol6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Your SMV is a 1/10 because you are a social retard lacking the ability to communicate with other men.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I was talking about 10 years ago relative to where I am today. I have no problems getting laid now.

[–]Psycholephant4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

LMAO wut? Your major means fuckall in college. You can game anyone especially if you lift, dress well, and nofap.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Understandably.

Did you do comp sci though? Your friend circle is generally socially retarded, there are no women, you have nothing to talk about but code and you are hunched over a computer the whole time.

[–]Psycholephant0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ah I see your point. Shouldn't stop you from approaching though. Of course don't be as sexual because of harassment charges. Keep it light hearted and playful.

[–]l0gicbomb[S] -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

I didn’t discover TRP before I got into an LTR, now I know that LTRs aren’t a viable option especially when young. I knew TRP was against an LTR that’s why I never called it an LTR in my previous posts. Learn my lesson about LTRs now, won’t be getting into one anytime soon.

About compsci, true but even Shane is compsci :/

Not complaining, it is what it is and I’ll embrace it and move on

[–]TheBlackAlistar8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

What you see in SMV of Shane and what she sees of SMV in Shane are completely different. Women don't look for the same thing men do when it comes to the opposite sex. Thats why you can see fat fucks pulling hot girls.

[–]henry5890 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Bro backtrack through different woman ! Sometimes attraction is based on feelings and not logic.

[–]BookyMcBooks4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

She's a whore, not much more complicated than that.

[–]Gordon-G6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

These ho’s aren’t loyal

[–]TopOccasion292 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

They never were, they aren't and they never will be.

[–]mrdeeds19724 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Oneitis strikes again. Once you get over that you can begin your training again.

[–]Gordon-G2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hahaa..I listen to at least one Tom Leykis or Patrice video a day for training and to keep even keeled!

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I feel like shit

You will. Just don't show it.

Act indifferent, go no contact, immediately get yourself out there again. Next time, don't be monogamous.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

You’re deluding yourself by thinking she didn’t monkey branch because of hypergamy. You need to take a hard look in the mirror. There’s a lot to learn here for you. But once you do the work and show up on campus with a hotter girl - all will be right with the world.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy

So basically Shane violated the bro code

no such thing. Only beta code.

[–]DerpJungler3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Agreed to an extend. Every woman is "fuck-able".

However, it's never worth it to bang your best friend's current plate/gf. Why would one destroy a healthy and potentially beneficial relationship with another male? Especially if that friend has some good values and he's not a beta/feminist dude.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If. But if the friendship isn't valuable I don't see why any man wouldn't

[–]TopOccasion29-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed. I only bang girls who's boyfriend/husband i don't know. If i know the guy and we're cool then i won't touch his girl.

[–]legaxo1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Success is the best revenge brother. Fuck up those weights and be smart about things. Use this as fuel to the fire within you to improve yourself as much as you can. Your next girl will be an upgrade from Kate, I’m sure of it!

[–]classylassy281 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

There is more to attraction than just smv, I've seen friends leave very handsome, high smv partners for the slightly fat funny guy. women look for all kinds of other things like how much he shows he cares, the conversations, etc, list is endless and all women have different opinions. Smv only gets you so far.

[–]TheTastelessBatman1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bro, stop LTRs. Smash and dash. Keep multiple plates spinning. Only give your love to your work, or hobby, or animals.

[–]forsaken_in_the_dark1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Why is it going to hurt you? Or is that your ego that will be inflicting the pain on you?

Focus on yourself and your mission and drop the ego as well as this girl.

[–]InsidiousCurve1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

How long did they know each other before they started spending all their time together?

[–]l0gicbomb[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

They "knew" each other for well over a year now. They became "friends" about 5 months ago, implying they would come to college together, chat on WhatsApp, go home together, exchange books and watch the same TV shows and shit.

[–]red_matrix1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She’s not yours, it’s just your turn. The glass is already broken.

[–]Glennus6261 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I read your story, but then got caught up on your Male friend named vivian. "What could his autocorrect have meant", I thought to myself. There it was again. Surely he'd have noticed two typos?

You're caught up in her frame and playing right in to her validation trap. Did they fuck? Maybe, maybe not. Girls rarely fuck beta orbiters they deem to be lower in smv. I would have more of a problem with my friend not observing bro code than I would have with some college bimbo attempting to fulfill a cock carousel.

[–]Zanford1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

SO REGRESSIVE AND PATRIARCHAL" and left.

You were dating someone who had drank Kool-Aid of quasi-religious ideaological justification for (female and female only) cheating. It was only a matter of time before she whored it up. Just be glad you found out now.

But just the fact that I will see these guys together on campus everyday for the next 18 months is what will reopen the wound and hurt me.

Think of it as all the more reason to get back out there. Snag someone hotter and she WILL hear about it.

2.5 of your 4 years of COLLEGE is way too much for one chick. She did you a favor, now you have more college left to get around than you otherwise would've.

btw if you're wondering why she wnt for the 'lower SMV' guy...as soon you as you showed you would tolerate her flirting with Shane, your SMV plummeted in her eyes. Basically you failed the early shit tests, then paid the price.

The best thing you can do for your SMV now is be the one who walks away. Now that Vivian and who knows else knows about this, if you stay, you will get a reputation as a cuckold little biotch.

I feel like shit. Fuck.

You are young, you have tons of time to date, you learned a valuable lesson early and with little blowback (you don't live together or have kids etc.) "Go approach a bunch of other chicks and when you get laid you'll forget her" is the cliche advice....but guess what, it's cliche for a good reason.

Here's another way to look at it...after 2.5 years she's probably sucked and fucked you a three-digit number of times, maybe four (100 would be less than once a week, which would be pretty tepid for that age; 1000 would be a little over one a day)....what were you really gonna get from that 1001st blowjob from Kate that you didn't get out of the first 1000?

[–]pridebrah0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

as soon you as you showed you would tolerate her flirting with Shane, your SMV plummeted in her eyes

How would you suggest handling that without mateguarding? Just walking away off the bat?

[–]Zanford1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good question, it's a very difficult situation.

Sometimes yeah you do just want to walk away (if you sense she is truly attracted to him or untrustworthy..really have to go with your gut).

IMO you can take it seriously as long as you keep your cool and say 'no, that's unacceptable, and if you have to ask again there's no salvaging this'. Think of the way a stereotypical 1950s alpha husband (a stereotype every girl splooges for btw, and the more she spews Kool-Aid words like regressive patriarchy the more she's sploogin') would address this. He'd address it the way he'd address their misbehaving child.

The other angle would be agree&amplify style mockery and calling her out ("cool, when's the wedding?" and "mm yeah his monobrow is so sexy isn't it?" or "we don't do devil's three ways, but since you're clearly cool with this stuff, we're going to hit up my ex Jessica and see if she's down instead"), like with everything, only if you an pull it off without sounding butthurt. And if your gut tells you she will use your flippant sarcasm as a license to cheat ("well he SAID it was 'cool' ") then walk way.

IMO this shit is only acceptable (and only then only barely) if it's just a jealousy shit test and not a genuine desire on her part. You can't trust someone who not go for something they really desire if they can 'get away with it'.

An example of a time I 'accepted' something like this: I had an ex who had world's nerdiest coworker. He was clearly trying to make himself her orbiter, and I was completely and utterly unfazed because the guy was so beneath her league it was laughable, and because she was as trustworthy as anyone can be (major virginitis for me, religious background and other things). My gut simply did not care or worry at all, so I didn't. He might as well have been that gay BFF that every 90s sitcom heroine has.

Also you can strike a nerve with almost any girl by making an oblique reference to sluttiness ("huh, I hadn't pegged you as the type of girl who wants to see several guys..." btw this works great if you ever want to maintain one-sided monogamy where you have plates; if she says 'well what if I do that?' just ask 'oh, were you the type of girl who'd want to?' to shut that shit down fast)

[–]beachbbqlover1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

> Shane had become her beta orbiter.

If she's fucking him, you seem to be very confused.

> "CAN'T I HAVE GUY FRIENDS OTHER THAN YOU?! YOU ARE SO REGRESSIVE AND PATRIARCHAL"

She's using feminist terminology, but look more closely. She's arguing with you while fully aware you want control. She's decided to refuse. That means she's perfectly willing to lose you.

> I never thought this could happen.

You're ignorant, aren't you?

This literally happens to over 50% of relationships, and you thought you were so fucking special it wouldn't happen to you?

She's gone. 100% delete her from your phone, stop stalking her, and focus inward.

Okay, so clearly you're ignorant, and posturing to try to save face to random strangers on the internet.

Here's what I've got for you:

Let go. You failed. Get up. Try again. We all do. She probably did. So will the next one. And it's okay. Just let go, and enjoy the time with the other bald monkeys on a wet rock in space. Play nice.

[–]_Anarchon_1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She basically said to my face "CAN'T I HAVE GUY FRIENDS OTHER THAN YOU?! YOU ARE SO REGRESSIVE AND PATRIARCHAL" and left.

No, not if you want a relationship with me. Btw, thanks for the compliment.

[–]1UnluckyPenguin1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Many years ago I introduced a major beta loser to my girlfriend. He was blowing his money like a fool on her (dude only made 12$/hr) and he had a lisp.

She liked it and ended up leaving me for him. Took me a little while to realize her leaving was a miracle I should be grateful for. After that my life became tremendously better.

Now over a decade later I honestly wish I could hug her out of pity. After that guy moved in with her parents while she was at college, they got married. Had 2 kids and both mentally challenged.

My point is that I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, much less a horny friend and ex girlfriend. So just stay calm even when life throws you curve balls, because none of the things you worry about now will matter in 10 years. Except always lift.

[–]slaterhuckle1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Now you just need to fuck a girl thats way hotter than her and then be seen together in public, that will show everyone

[–]DiggerClam1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dodged a bullet bro - she's a hoe.

[–]ashotofmidoriperhapz1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

So basically Shane violated the bro code.

Does anyone here actually believe in a so called 'bro code'? I'm 26 but have seen my fair share of thirsty dudes violate the bro code just look 'better' than you in front of a girl and to an extent fight you over them, we've seen this so many times.

My opinion I don't believe there is one, I think it's a term guys use to guilt there mates to not go after their 'crush' or I 'saw her first' and all that bullshit and if you break it they get to bitch about you. Some guys these days are such faggots.

Ok, bye.

[–]Kesh4n1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

A point where you messed up is that you showed something that she saw as insecure. Which indirectly caused her to want Shane to make you mad.

That might sound fucked up but that's how people operate.

[–]Bone_Coat1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

When you confronted her about shane, you looked like a beta for her. Dont do that, never

[–]2alpha-zach3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

You were mate guarding and it drove her away.

The best approach was to AMOG him. Let her have her beta orbiter friends but make him look small and weak compared to you. Not necessarily make fun of him behind his back with her. Potentially little jabs can be fine. But go out with them and AMOG him with shit tests and get him defensive and butt hurt.

[–]WoodWizzy871 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

What a c***. Don’t let her swing back once he goes full beta. Or give her a revenge bang and kick her out

[–]_Lemongrab1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

"CAN'T I HAVE GUY FRIENDS OTHER THAN YOU?! YOU ARE SO REGRESSIVE AND PATRIARCHAL" and left.

Her loss. I know it hurts, but you're fucking free now, bro. Go have fun. You'll romanticize it, but hang out with your real friends and some chicks and you'll be good in no time.

[–]keelo440 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think your underestimating Shane and/or overestimating yourself.

[–]HastaPronto900 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

It will hurt this guy aswell, to see you and knowing that you fucked his gf. Keep going bro!

For research purposes, what was her notch count before you went in a LTR with her?

[–]l0gicbomb[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

One. The reason I deemed her fit for an LTR was she had just one BF before she joined college and that was a 4 month long juvenile relationship she had when she was 15 y/o.

I think slut mode was activated after 1 year of being in college.

[–]TheBunk_TB0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Is Vivian available?

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (2 children) | Copy

You're not gonna want to hear this, but what you need to do now is shit in a basic brown bag (the kind you may have eaten lunch out of as a kid), put the bag on her porch, light the top of the bag on fire, ring the doorbell (or knock) and run to a pre-set hiding/viewing location. If all went as planned the victim will see the flaming bag and be all like "ahh fire!" followed by a quick stomping of the bag.

[–]hmsthinkingmeat13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

What - act like a childish butt hurt cry baby.

Yeah that's definitely the way to go.

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well you don't get caught, derp

[–]MegladonBass0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fake. Your post history from 60 something days ago Says girl wants ltr but you claim to be 2.5 years in. Tf dude lmao

[–]KettleLogic0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I will say if you treat someone as if they have done something they'll do something. I think you went about it the wrong way by treating her like a cheater when she hadn't cheated yet (probably).

You should of had an abundance mentality where as it seems like you mate guarded. It sucks man but you are young, you have plenty of time to find a better girl than Kate.

[–]pinaplejoose0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you dont like the relationship then leave it. Frankly I wouldnt even call this cheating but she definitely did disrespect you in the relationship, which is just as bad in a way. If you wanna get to her I'd start hanging with some new girls on campus.

[–]fartingaround0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Brocode lol smh

[–]TopOccasion291 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

The brocode is a myth in College and even after that.

Most men don't follow that.

[–]fartingaround1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Im pretty sure the brocode was invented by someone who was fuckin his friends ex to cover his tracks lol

[–]_Anarchon_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So basically Shane violated the bro code.

Shane deserves an ass-whoopin. Normally that's not the case, but you said this guy was your friend. You shouldn't let that stand.

[–]TheGoblinTurkey-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

She'll try and branch swing back to you once she finds out how quickly you moved on to banging better looking girls.

The satisfaction you'll feel will make all the pain go away.

[–]furcryingoutloud-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Behind every beautiful woman, is a man saying "NO FUCKING WAY!"

Think about that before you put that next unicorn on that pedestal.

[–]HurricaneHugues-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

So you've been coming with this beta nonsense to AskTRP for 3 months now. You didn't take advice then. Now look at you.

[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points  (0 children) | Copy

What is your question?

Your post should be removed and you should be banned.



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