This post is nothing new - few basic things you can do to improve yourself right now. I added few personal notes of how and why this things worked in my case. It might be useful for beginners and good reminder for old cats.
Always be aware of your hierarchy of needs - but I doubt anyone here is in such a bad situation that he is not in position to do even this. So:
- Quit fapping
It is funny how regardless of all I did to improve my game and to go after poon, none of it works if I get back to my old friend named compulsive jerking off. Not chopping the bishop is giving me great ammount of energy and libido. Self doubt is not existent, same as introspection - it is almost gone, and I am much more less of an apologizing bitch. I am more assertive, my voice is deeper, body language stronger, and I want to fuck everything that moves and has tits.
Actually, my dick leads me than. If I look in my history of casual sex for last two years, something is very clear: every, single one, lay, I had in last two years, occured after I did not jerk for week or more. Every single approach I did, was done after I did not jerk off for week or more. Statistics are here and it's amazing.
I do not find useful if I do not fap at all. Once a week is best, so when I have a wish I do it on Sundays. Other days are not negotiable, and without edging as well.
My big problem was that I was absent all the time. I was either scared about future, or dwelling over past. Both fucked up my body and mind, and I was less present. If you are not present it is even worse then if you are not at there at all. Without presence all I read is useless because I am not there to cultivate it. Presence is pre requsite for strong appearance and charismatic personality.
Consequentially, once when I stopped living in past or future times, I was able to, not just see problems and situations that I did not see before, I was able to focus on them and solve them. Effect was tremendous.
Meditation also helped me with reactiveness, which was another big issue for me. All the knowledge and social skills of the world is useless if you always say or something that's on top of your head.
I meditate 15 minutes a day. If I do it more, I do not feel more benefits. But, I am talking about 15 minutes of calm, present state. Sometimes it takes an hour to get there. Sometimes I also get frustrated and I quit (rare).
Suprisingly, right. Girls love muscles, you will be stronger and healthier, you will look younger longer and you will be more confident. So, lift, and do not be just meathead - do something else for sport as well or at least optimize your training to be efficient at rate of three times per week.
And when I say girls love muscles, then I mean it. Shit works like magic. While I believe fame or money or game can get you even easier between her legs, none of it can make her horny as muscles. And none of it will give her stronger orgasms.
I lift weights three times a week. I do not feel more benefits if I lift more then that. But often, the other days I am on the mat or in front of the boxing bag.
4) Save money
For education, enterpreneurship, single independent living in any major world city..well you will need more money then you can possibly save. I did not have enough money to start my own business even when I saved good percentage of my disposable income. My spending habits kept me three years in the same place. I had to achieve really great heights with saving to achieve something.
Not having enough will make you worry about future. It is hard to unleash your potential if you are on paycheck away from the street. First things must come first. Earn more and spend less. Make sure you have enough to live for six months in case you lose your job. If you want to start bussiness, do not invest anything that you can't say goodbye to. For Christ sake, stay out of big debt.
In case that you do not have a father who will just cash out 40 000 $ when you wish to open a company..prepare for something that will take a lot of balls and time to achieve and break through. Not enough money on account is probably no1 reason which hinders potential of so many guys. World spins around pussy and money and one of them is easy to get. Take a guess.
It is not fair and that is the way it is. Do not even think for a second in that direction.
5) Stop drinking alcohol
Maybe you are finally going to realize how Big City Saturday Night Life TM is shallow. You will also spend less money and eat less junk food. If you are like me, so few drinks become binge blackouts more then you are willing to admit, you will stop doing it as well. And find out what is that problem that you tried to solve with drinking. You will also get one more day during the week! Sunday is great when you stop drinking.
Most important of it all, you will forget what does term borrowed brass means. You will be you without booze.
And those tipsy chicks while you are sober will become so easy that you will think it's hidden camera show actually.
Do this for six months. Then see what changed and do you, and how, want to continue. I recommend, before you start:
Inform yourself about minimum effective dose. That is what you aim in just about everything. In everything we do there is number which is perfect - if we do less it's not effective; if we do more it is just time consuming with same effectivenes at best, and counter productive at worst. Start with more and then reduce.
Realize that going too radical about everything at once will make you quit soon. You can't just take this five things and start from Monday. Depends on how much work you need, you might burn. Take one thing, do it two weeks, add another one. When you have all five, do it for six months. And don't stop when you fail which you will. And it's normal, if you did all of this without one single exception at all times during six months well that's also not the best thing.
Sleep - not less then 7 hours a day. I learned the hard way that sleep deprivation is real thing. You can do all of this things, and even much more, but if you are chronically undersleeped you are not going to shine as much as you can. Minimum effective dose counts here as well.
Autistic dislaimer: some steps will change someone; to other it won't help at all. You should have at least basic ideas about what your problems are and how you should solve them. It should be obvious that if you are ripped as fuck that you don't need more weights, if you drink once a month that alcohol isn't root of your problem, and if you are filthy rich, saving money probably won't help you much.
edit: if there is interest, I can write in - depth version of this post where I can explain more about each of 5 things I mentioned here. Let me know.
English is far from my first language. Tolerate it. Thanks