If a girl dresses slutty shes not doing it for herself.

wtknight · 2020-05-26T00:28:03+00:00

Re-flaired as CMV

rosephase · 2020-05-25T22:06:36+00:00

Expect a woman to keep dressing the way she did when you met her. If she likes to dress up she’s not going to suddenly stop doing that for a relationship. If you want a woman who dresses modestly then don’t start dating a woman who doesn’t dress modestly.

Date someone who you like already. Not someone you need to change for your comfort.

mangolover97 · 2020-05-25T23:30:33+00:00

I might just be an anomaly but it’s always been men(gay male friends and 2 boyfriends) who have pushed me to dress “sluttier”. That type of dressing just somewhat fits what’s stylish and fashionable for western women in 2020.

neualgae · 2020-05-25T22:54:02+00:00

The thing is that men assume "she doesn't dress like that at home, therefore she's dressing like that to actively solicit male attention" which is also not true. No, not even from Chad.

Women have really internalized the idea that our value as human beings is tied to our attractiveness. A lot of women feel like we aren't allowed to take up space in the world unless we are doing so as pretty objects. It's about some vague sense of societal approval and feeling like she's an attractive person (and therefore a valuable person). I mean, I feel a need to dress nicely when I even just go to the grocery store. It's not because people are treating me better - I don't usually interact with anyone aside from a brief scripted conversation with the cashier - but just that I feel better about myself for existing in society as a put-together and attractive person.

I don't dress "sexy" very often but it's the same idea. I don't actually want to be inconvenienced by men, I just want the confidence boost of knowing that I exist as a sexy person in the world.

BruhMoment45886 · 2020-05-25T21:47:54+00:00

Women who chose to dress revealing do so to attract men and it is a form of female-female competition and rank.

My only problem is when women dress revealing and complain when they draw attention from average guys but have no problem being oogled by the hot guy.

VaporwaveVampire · 2020-05-26T01:35:43+00:00

I agree 100% unless it’s at the beach or a very hot day. Although she might genuinely believe she is doing it for herself because happiness for some is so conflated with sexual attention, it’s likely that deep inside she isn’t.

There’s something called self objectification. Basically viewing yourself as an object especially in the eyes of men, instead of jus seeing the world through your own eyes. Research studies have been done on what girls wear, and girls perform better on tests and more confidently when wearing more modest clothes (not like a literal burqa, but something like a modest dress, long pants, normal shirt, etc.) source: https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.01867/full

It does suck going to typical fast fashion places and having a difficult time finding affordable, good quality, modest clothes. Some standard clothes for women include crop tops, yoga pants, extreme V necks, super short shorts and skirts, bra tops, high heels, etc. Whereas standard clothes for men on a hot day are maybe knee length shorts and a short sleeve shirt.

I would recommend dressing relatively femininely but more modestly to a woman who wants a chance at being listened to and valued for what she says instead of as an object. Dressing slutty doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be listened to of course, but anyone with a brain knows it decreases that chance of being respected.

BruhMoment45886 · 2020-05-26T00:03:49+00:00

But I think its disrespectful to dress like you're single when you're in a relationship.

Which only would apply to you and your relationships.

Its just as valid to say its disrespectful not to in a relationship. You should try to look your best and most attractive for you SO. You could even argue you should do that to help them show off that they are with you. I'd rather someone look at my wife and question what she sees in me than not look at her at all.

poppy_blu · 2020-05-25T21:44:32+00:00

Ive dated men who wanted me to look sexy when with them, presumably because they wanted to make other men jealous.

Note though that there is a difference between sexy and slutty. Something that seems to have passed over the heads of young women today.

PronKing10 · 2020-05-25T22:01:41+00:00

People like attention. It feels good to be desirable. You can look at it like you can look at someone else’s nice car. Admire it, it’s cool to show off a hot girlfriend like just like it’s cool to show off your nice car. You can look but just because you like it doesn’t mean you can drive the car lol. There’s no problem.

octocombo · 2020-05-25T22:36:16+00:00

“doing it for herself” doesn’t mean the same thing as “doing it without caring about who else is around her.” for herself means that the end goal is her happiness, which might come from something that involves attention from other people (e.g., if she wants people to remark on how detailed her Darth Vader costume is) or might not (e.g., if she likes feeling the smoothness of her legs after shaving them).

So it’s perfectly consistent to say she’s doing it for herself while not wanting to do it if no one will see her. If she wants men to think she is sexy, she could be doing it for them if she thinks seeing a sexy woman will make them happy, or she could be doing it for herself if she likes the validation of turning heads but doesn’t care whether anyone who notices her is actually happier as a result.

Or she could think of it as a kind of psychological armor which makes her feel more safe and secure that others will support her in social interactions. If she was wearing literal armor (or maybe for a more relevant example to our times let's say she's a nurse wearing a mask), it's easy to see how she's doing it to protect herself while understanding that she has no desire or interest in wearing it when she's alone.

relish5k · 2020-05-26T01:39:09+00:00

I don't get men who don't want their women looking sexy when they are out. My husband is always pushing me to wear tighter, more revealing clothing (I generally dress pretty conservatively, tho fashionably). I guess he wants everyone to see what he's got. So guys who feel the opposite way, I totally don't get. If you can't handle other guys checking out you're girl then you're definitely insecure (not saying that there aren't women who don't try to solicit male attention while in a relationship, but that situation is very foreign to me)

Also most women dress for the attention of gay men, and other women. I care way more about women thinking that I look pretty / polished / fashionable then I care about guys thinking I'm sexy. It's easy to get a man to notice you, but if you get compliments from a girl, jackpot.

dylang92 · 2020-05-25T23:45:16+00:00

Whenever this topic is brought up I think of a 4chan post I once saw. It was a photo of a girl wearing very short shorts where her ass is showing and a tight shirt slowing off her boobs. The guy was saying “how is she not asking for sex?” And the reply was “of course she’s asking for it anon, just not from you”

It’s like men who go to the gym and basically starve themselves while cutting to make their arms, shoulders, chest, and abs better and post shirtless pics of themselves on tinder, or go to the beach. It’s to attract women, and there’s nothing wrong with that either. Just admit what it’s for,

flamingoinghome · 2020-05-25T22:50:32+00:00

How, exactly, do you know what women wear when they're alone in their houses?

Peacheslikeyou · 2020-05-25T23:46:06+00:00

what she really means is shes doing it so she gets attention from other men and that benefits her.

No, women don't exist and do things exclusively to arouse men.

Also some women aren't attracted to men at all.

CageyRelic · 2020-05-26T02:11:49+00:00

I dont remember where the quote came from, but it went something like "If all the men in the world disappeared, women would dress 1000x sluttier." and I felt that. What often stops me from fully satisfying my desire to dress according to my own tastes is knowing that the top I find aesthetically pleasant and expressive of my tastes will show enough skin that I can already smell the nonsense that awaits me should I dare to wear it out.

Some man will disrupt my day with weasel-like behavior.
Some insecure woman will make her own assumptions.
My hypothetical partner will make an assertion/accusation like OP (which I guess is a good thing in the long run belcause I need to know if they're too insecure for a healthy adult relationship, but also ouch) -Randos will pick apart my every move and word with underhanded tactics until by grasping at straws they think they've found a way to use me as an example of "proof" for statements like the OP.

I admire the women who are patient enough not to let these things get them down, but I'm a vengeful spirit.

Troy016 · 2020-05-25T21:47:52+00:00

Basically yea.

Make up, what they wear, how their hairs done.

Is for them to gain attention.

hahagoddamn · 2020-05-25T21:39:05+00:00

You could just like looking sexy 🤷‍♀️

FivePips · 2020-05-26T02:36:23+00:00

it is extremely uncomfortable to dress in a revealing way. It’s always so fucking cold, you feel like creepy people are always staring at you, and push-up bras are the worst thing in existence. If I dress up in a revealing way, it’s for attention.

TechnicalMight0 · 2020-05-26T09:36:24+00:00

Girls are obviously allowed to dress however they want. But I think its disrespectful to dress like you're single when you're in a relationship.

I disagree here: if she dresses up for her partner that's actually a good thing.

Sid_Insidious · 2020-05-26T00:51:01+00:00

She IS doing it for herself. She's doing it for male attention for herself, which includes competing with other females FOR said attention.

If she openly admitted this, it might be seen as an invitation for male attention from ALL MALES which it is certainly not. She only wants attention from top men. Average and ugly men (ew) look away please!

So, what's wrong with it though, women competing with eachother in the looks department and supporting a billion dollar female fashion and makeup industry?

So long as it's her money, and not some guy's money, then what's the problem?

SunflowerBurst · 2020-05-26T02:28:13+00:00

This is a purely semantical argument based on what “for oneself” means. There’s no substance to it beyond that. Maybe being treated better or getting more attention in public helps someone feel better. They’re still doing it for themselves because they aren’t putting on clothes and makeup with the intent of pleasing a random guy. Or you could argue they are since technically they need to please him to get attention. It’s semantics basically.

jigglypuff__0 · 2020-05-25T23:43:18+00:00

You’re not wrong but a woman would be stupid to not make sure she remains attractive and appealing in public. She can show off her curves without having her tits hanging out.

You should still look good while in public even if you’re in a relationship. Not slutty but not prude either.

ILikeToArgueALot · 2020-05-26T02:18:21+00:00

Dude I'm gonna blow your mind with science.

Women do it for themselves, but its for men without them realising it.

When women feel attractive their brain releases dopamine. It makes them feel good, happier and like they achieved a task. The reason the brain releases dopamine when they look attractive is because it wants them to attract a male to get them pregnant.

Our brains release dopamine when we do things that help the human species like eating, drinking, sex, completing tasks, pleasure.

Its why men get addicted to porn more than women because mens brains release more dopamine when they see a naked woman. Where as womens brains release more dopamine when they feel hot.

Womens brains are wired to attract males subconsiously.

So even though she put on makeup for herself only to feel better. Her brain is actually subconsiously making her do it to attract men.

goatismycopilot · 2020-05-25T22:20:05+00:00

What does "dress slutty" look like to you?

SteveSan82 · 2020-05-26T02:41:38+00:00

Attention is like cash to women.

PollaTronante · 2020-05-26T05:16:30+00:00

Some women do wear sexy clothing or full makeup when they're by themselves. Some like to wear sexy lingerie under "modest" clothing because they like it. Some MEN wear sexy lingerie and put on makeup and dresses because they like it. So people's reasons vary.

badgersonice · 2020-05-26T06:46:35+00:00

I always find it laughable when a woman you are in LTR with dresses in something skimpy, showing her breasts, short dress/skirt and when you say something to her, they gaslight you with "you're being insecure". It's one thing to dress nicely and look good with a more conservative dress that maybe comes to your knees or lower. It's something quite different when your fucking taint is visible!

Why do you feel the need to dress like that? Validation perhaps? I would argue that if you're that desperate for validation, that your areola is peeking, that desire in and of itself is coming from a place of insecurity.

I'm not one for telling others how to dress. But don't expect me to stick around if the entire town is going to be admiring your undercarriage.

blondierespondy · 2020-05-26T07:02:15+00:00

I dress slutty at home all the time and I don’t like to leave my house dressed that way. I do it and sing in front of the mirror lol because I feel like I look cool. Shit I don’t even dress slutty when I’m going to fuck someone. I’m gonna take my clothes off anyway like?? They already want to fuck me.

geyejoe7 · 2020-05-26T09:36:16+00:00

My fiancée dresses properly. She wears clothes that enhance her looks, like tighter pants or a push up bra. But that's because SHE want's to look good. For herself.

She doesn't pop her butt and titties out. She told me personally that she doesn't even feel comfortable wearing a crop top shirt because "she would be sending the wrong message".

And I agree. If you're a woman. And you dress slutty. The only excuse is being single.

If you're in a relationship, and walk around clubs with your ass out and crop tops, you want attention. You want men to want to fuck you.

Maximedius · 2020-05-26T14:51:09+00:00

Otherwise when girls are home alone all day they would be wearing pushup bras, makeup, and skin tight pants instead of sweatpants and a bun.

The classic "I'm just doing this for myself!" is deflective bullshit not to be taken serious. Women always say this when criticized for their behavior. Specifically on how they dress: They do it for attention, everything else is a lie.

evelynbigbootybitch · 2020-05-26T15:37:56+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. I’m a woman and have had this unpopular opinion my whole life.

2020-05-26T18:21:41+00:00

Fucking obviously. Girls don’t rock heels and shit at home, they do it to feel sexy in the male gaze

FeniZio94 · 2020-05-26T21:04:01+00:00

All the girls that I’ve seen that dress slutty... are in one way or another, trying to get validation from attention seeking behavior

xXxINCELFAGGOTxXx · 2020-05-25T22:24:59+00:00

There's no debate. Women I know openly admit it, even those in relationships.

poppy_blu · 2020-05-25T21:37:30+00:00

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Mimoxs · 2020-05-25T22:39:57+00:00

Here's the thing, this can be partially true, but if it was for others, what's the point of dressing "slutty" as a girl when you're all alone in your room and there's no one to see you, to get the same feeling?

wtknight · 2020-05-26T00:10:51+00:00

[removed]

TripleMaxor · 2020-05-26T02:53:51+00:00

You should've known she dresses like that before marriage. Never get married boys.

Million-Suns · 2020-05-26T05:23:17+00:00

The more slutty they dress, the less I am inclined to watch. It is not okay in public.

So I don't understand their thought process but on me and many other men, it has the reverse effect.

amerikajin-janaidesu · 2020-05-26T05:49:51+00:00

This is true to a degree. After all, people "dress" when they go outside only because other people will see them, so no one truly dresses only for themselves (otherwise, like OP said, why wouldn't they stay dressed at home?). So obviously, people have some sort of target audience in mind.

But many men miss the fact that women also dress up to make other women jealous. Women are competitive. We are conditioned by society to believe that we are inherently better if we are prettier. We often size each other up subconsciously (even when we may not want to). In Japan, there are these things called "girl meetings," which are basically just glorified meals or sleepovers with other girls. Women often dress up like crazy for these meetings too.

Of course, I'm not denying that women also often dress up for men. But motivations can differ depending on the situation/social scene.

CorgiLover831 · 2020-05-26T14:12:49+00:00

Most of the time I agree. Like if your walking around those booty shorts that show the bottom of your ass cheeks. But some times you men get a little bit too generous with what you call slutty. I’ve seen men say that women were wearing tight jeans and a a t shirt for male attention. Lol no.

jjolteon · 2020-05-26T15:33:29+00:00

Ok sure, but it’s not just for men either. It’s for everyone, men and women alike.

2020-05-26T17:51:22+00:00

My gf dress slutty sometimes and I don't care anymore because it doesn't mean, I feel horny LOL. Most women these days dress this way, if you want to date a religious saint girls do it, sometimes religious girls are worst.

totalmoxie · 2020-05-26T20:41:06+00:00

Wait, tho, I hate wearing clothes and during this extended WFH, I'm walking around in just a T-shirt and sometimes underwear. I would never go out in public like this, but what I've been wearing at home is undeniably much sluttier than my outside clothes.

Kyoga89 · 2020-05-27T13:38:39+00:00

I put on makeup often even though I’m not even going out for the day and no one is going to see me but me. It happens.

usa_foot_print · 2020-05-27T13:58:01+00:00

Wrong. Women dress slutty to express themselves. That's why they dye their hair I am told.

asdf333aza · 2020-05-28T03:19:12+00:00

"Dress how you want to be addressed"

vxngxgh · 2020-05-29T04:42:44+00:00

okay but i’ll wear my tiny whore tops with big pants until i die bc it makes me feel good and i love how it looks, no matter who else is around.

Reisiluu · 2020-05-25T22:03:47+00:00

"She is doing it for herself" is only true when she is doing it alone in her home. Whether it's makeup or high heels or jewelry or clothes. If she can't be bothered with that in quarantine then it's meant for the world to see and not for herself.

TheBookOfSeil · 2020-05-25T22:23:24+00:00

I agree. Women rarely dress "for themselves" when they're out in public. That is the hamster talking. How they feel is directly tied with their appearance and how they are presenting to others.

As for dressing "slutty" while in a relationship, one quote I've seen that I agree with is "If you don't want your girl to dress like a bad bitch, then don't get with a bad bitch."

ElectricalStatement7 · 2020-05-26T00:02:59+00:00

You mean there’s still people out there that think they do it for themselves? 😂 When women pull this crap, it’s just one big shit test to their partners. I’ve had it done to me before like most guys have. I didn’t put my foot down and I ended up getting cheated on. These days I’d give them one chance or I’m out. I ain’t gonna be gaslit with their bullshit anymore.

Title	If a girl dresses slutty shes not doing it for herself.
Author	BruhMoment45886
Upvotes	153
Comments	284
Date	May 25, 2020 9:35 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/gqjv4p/if_a_girl_dresses_slutty_shes_not_doing_it_for/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-a-girl-dresses-slutty-shes-not-doing-it-for.667141 https://theredarchive.com/post/667141