Do you feel lied to ?

jax006 · 2020-07-23T17:21:09+00:00

"just wait till you get older, and girls start to like the smart guys"

"You just need to learn to love yourself first"

"Just be yourself! You're really caring and sweet"

I will say though; I don't really feel explicitly lied to. Its similar to how many young people with student debt feel about college - they were basically herded down a pipeline of ideas that are idealistic and don't pan out in the real world;

"Just find something you're passionate about and find a way to make it a career" leads to idiots borrowing 80k to get a degree in sports studies or journalism.

JesterMcGavin · 2020-07-23T16:41:50+00:00

"She's out there, you just gotta look!"

"It's all about cooooooonfidence."

And my personal favorite:

"You're beautiful just the way you are."

What debunked it: Myself, reality

Who perpetuated it: Yes

PMmecuzimprettyneato · 2020-07-23T17:24:13+00:00

The moment I took the red pill was when I was a teenager in school. I grew up in a conservative Christian home, and I was always applauded for and truly believed in not having sex until marriage, and being a kind, permissive, romantic blue pill guy. I was complaining to my mother, whom I was very close with, that it was frustrating trying to find somebody who was also waiting for marriage, and wanted a guy like me. She said “Well maybe you need to find a woman with a little experience.” That’s what did it for me. I’m not going to live my life trying to save myself and raise my value just to give it to somebody who couldn’t be asked to do the same. I realized that I was being raised to be somebody’s second pick beta bucks, and I haven’t looked back since.

theguytheguy1000 · 2020-07-23T19:05:50+00:00

the whole "relationships should be a 50/50 partnership and it's disrespectful to be the one in charge" lie.

that one fucked me up.

I remember being so proud of being "Equal" with my Ex-GF and that we are "partners" and shit.

And i'd feel guilty for being the man in the relationship. Like I was pre castrated from taking the lead. It was so retarded cos societal messaging encourages you to be a bitch in the relationship.

then i'd see my friend who very very much owns the frame with his GF and she was ALL OVER HIM and couldn't get enough of him. and I had the fucking nerve to look at his relationship and think "I wouldn't want that, she has no personality of her own, she's his slave, how can he respect her".

like that's what the blue pill does, it makes you proud and egotistical about how you're doing things the "equal" way. so dumb lol.

anyway, now i've realized that in a relationship, as a man, you gotta be the man. call the shots, take charge, wear the pants. If you don't your GF will slowly lose attraction after the honey moon phase, slow enough that you don't notice.... but it's happening.

the whole equal partner dynamic is just wrong. Man leads, woman follows. get over it.

analt223 · 2020-07-23T17:19:57+00:00

My mom, dad, brother, and sister used to always say things like:

-Once women have the good jobs theyll marry the men with the bad ones. Women are hypergamous because of patriarchy. Reality was vice versa.

-Men and women are 100% the exact same and all differences are social constructs that we must get rid of, frequently through government intervention. Reality is that is not true and while the government has its role, you cant "legislate away the patriarchy"

I then realized my mom and sister didnt want to weaken the feminist sisterhood, my brother is fairly autistic (or at least aspergers), and my dad just agrees with my mom in hopes she fucks him that night.

Once in my mid 20s i snapped at em for being stupid as hell, they started to see my perspective a little bit, even if they just kinda rebranded their arguments

Barely-moral · 2020-07-23T17:00:25+00:00

What were the "Bluepill fantasies" you believed in

-There is someone out there for everyone.

-Be yourself and someone will love you.

-Women and men are equal. So their desires and the way they love should also be equal.

-Personality matters more than looks.

-"true love" exists and it is unconditional/does not end

-If you act kind and respectful you will recieve the same treatment in return

I can go on.

what broke you out of it ?

Years of loneliness and depresion with no results.

Who perpetuated this fantasy? The medias ? The people around you?

The media? Yes, but it is not the main culprit. The people around me? Definitely, people I was supposed to trust and people that should have my best interest in mind told me those things and I had no reason to think they were lying to me. They probably believed the same things or they believed that learning that platitudes are platitudes through pain and suffering is the only way to learn how things work instead of... you know... telling me how things work.

After a while I was the main factor in perpetuating the delusion. I had a choice, either I believe in my own limited experience (I was very young, I had little to no experience in relationships, I did not travel, I did not meet a lot of people) or I could believe in the words and experiences of people way older and wiser than me that are supposed to have my best interest in mind. I chose the latter until the pain and loneliness did not allow me to keep doing it.

Workaholiconew · 2020-07-23T17:22:03+00:00

I don't feel lied to. I was lied to.

What were the "Bluepill fantasies" you believed in and what broke you out of it ?

You know, the same old same old "women are not as visual/instinctual", "being in a relationship is worth it", " you need to compromise", "being that hard is normal", etc.

Simply put? Lack of results while I could see what I supposed were "people behaving wrongly" being successful.

Who perpetuated this fantasy?

It is easier to say who didn't. Reality and me, and later some small communities on the internet.

People say way too much, but act differently, and I could pick up from that that I should pay attention to the act alone. As for most of my life, I didn't have internet connection.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2020-07-23T14:44:03+00:00

>What were the "Bluepill fantasies" you believed in and what broke you out of it ?

1) Women are these innocent, pure beings capable of inconditional love - nope, that's an idea you get from the bond with a loving mother. You break out of that idea by being played by a girl in school.

2) Women are delicate beings, according to my school teachers - nope. That flies out of the door when you see one bitchslapping another one and draggin her down a flight of stairs by the hair.

3) Love in marriage is everlasting, according to any priest, any pro-marriage person - nope. I saw horrible divorces happening all around me as I grew up.

4) Personality is what matters! just be yourself!, according to any mom/aunt giving advice about women. Nope, even though I was succesful with women, my equally nice, but uglier friends, spent years in solitude. I was also rejected by a girl for a 6 foot tall muscular dude in university, to then have the girl chase me over the years (while fucking night club bouncers) as she saw my career advancing

5) If you are kind to women, they will be kind to you, according to any woman. Lmao no. My ex wife could not stand me caressing her hair because it would get greasy, or holding my hands because then we would get sweaty hands.

What frustrates me in all of this is that, among all the bullshit, the men in my life (dad, uncles, friends) were never 100% upfront about the realities of women, just not to lose face among their own women. But secrety, they all knew.

Sid_Insidious · 2020-07-23T17:40:18+00:00

Blue Pill fantasies:

That if you busted ass as a husband and tried your best your wife would respond in kind and try to stick it out through some hard times. (Like our parents did?)
That women are softer and/or gentler than men - kinder, and more fair. They are not. They are predatory and opportunistic and entitled in their own special ways.
That good guys don't actually always finish last. Being 'good' = rewards.
That most guys complaining about poor treatment from women were just bad guys, or undesirable guys. The big ego lie all men tell themselves: "I'm not like those other guys... I'm a GOOD GUY." lol.
That women appreciate monogamy very much and will respond in kind, because they're so adamant about the man being faithful... in other words, hold HERSELF to the same standards she's demanding of the man.
That if you observe her #1 rule (don't look at other women) that she will respond in kind and not look at other men, or other options.
That being a good man, a good husband and a good father actually meant something not to just individual women but society as a whole.
That women only started looking for a new guy AFTER her relationship was over. This is a big one. The idea you're in the 6-12 month process of being replaced while she still sleeps in your bed and leeches off your resources - this is just so gross and disgusting, I can hardly look at a Western woman in the eye anymore. Just. Gross. Women know no lows.

What broke me out of it? Observing female behavior and then going through a divorce and watching how different people reacted to that and how they treated me afterwards. Learning who my friends weren't. Also, the "new list" of expectations I was handed as a single male with kids, which I found to be such a laughable steaming pile of progressive bullshit that I'm still laughing. (Oh, okay, you're divorced. Okay, well now you qualify for one of these fine low-tier single mothers with kids from multiple dudes and tonnes of debt... you'd better get a higher paying job if you're going to pay all your child support AND support the new woman and her kids!! C'mon be the best version of yourself and put yourself out there!! ) My response: You're equal now, prove it: fuck off and pay your own way, I'm out. MGTOW for the win.

No dating. No mating. No cohabitation. No marriage. If she's DTF, great. No key. Ever.

What perpetrated this? How we are raised, parents, family. School, teachers, authority figures. Females themselves. The church BIG TIME (Biggest cuck/simp feminist institution out there.) Social pressure and social policing of boys/men who dare to question the blue-pill status quo. Social shaming - their only real weapon.

c_dolly · 2020-07-23T18:02:38+00:00

I think that the "women are wonderful" lie is something that society perpetuates and that TRP really does a good job of exposing. Understanding female nature for what it is instead of what I was led to believe is goodness.

I do believe that women love men, but I think that for a large majority of women that love is conditional on what utility that men can provide. In general terms, nobody loves a man for him, there is always more to it. A lot of men, I'd guess the majority, love women for who they are.

Obviously individuals can be exceptions but for the most part this is the lie for me, that women have more of an agenda when it comes to love. For men, it's more straight forward, IMO. Obviously some individual men can be terrible as well.

redcbdit · 2020-07-23T17:17:26+00:00

all the men that i've had the opportunity to talk to about this have always told me, in one shape or another, that they wish they were taught at a younger age how relationship existed in the real world and not how it was portrayed.

many of them also shared that they feel looking back that they would have not believed the "truth" anyway (because of being young and dumb) so who knows how things would have turned out. only very few have actually argued that they were "lied" to or took their youth as a "lie".

most of them broke out of fantasyland and into reality only when reality hit them however they also share that they have many male friends who are happily living in fantasyland because their girlfriends/wives also are in fantasyland and are both perpetuating the fantasy.

Distribution-Normal · 2020-07-23T19:57:23+00:00

What were the "Bluepill fantasies" you believed in

I was brought up to believe that if you're nice, respectful, and "do the right things" then the right woman would find you and instantly be enamored.

That women don't like the bad boys, they like the nice guy. By being respectful, taking things slow and really getting to know a girl I would win out in the end.

what broke you out of it ?

Reality.

I went through all of that as a teenager and I was practically a pariah. No girls wanted anything to do with me, and any girl that I showed interest in or tried to win over would end in some pretty brutal rejections and mocking at school.

It wasn't until my late teens until I really started to question things. All my friends had girl friends, all the assholes had girls flocking to them, and yet here I was unable to so much as get a girl to look in my direction.

Honestly, it was seriously quite depressing and quite a blow to the self esteem. Any time we would meet up with girls, they'd be all over everyone else and I was always left out in the cold. I remember wondering if there was something wrong with me, why I was unlovable etc.

The thing that really broke the camels back was when I was around 16 or 17. We had an older friend who had his own apartment and we would go round there to have drinks and party. We ended up meeting these girls our age in the park one day and became pretty friendly. This one girl I took a liking to, and it seemed like she had taken a liking to me. We began talking and flirting over the course of maybe a week/2 weeks, and it seemed like things were going somewhere.

We ended up inviting these girls to a party up at this guys apartment, and I thought hey this could be my chance to kiss this girl. To cut a long story short, what actually ended up happening was this kid, J - who was younger than us (maybe 15) had muscles, arrogant etc. - ended up within the space of 2 hours of meeting this girl for the first time, took her into a bedroom and slept with her.

I fucking lost my shit. After that day, I was so livid and so upset. I just could not process what had happened. How could I have been chatting and flirting with this girl for well over a week, and this punk shows up and sleeps with her within 2 hours of meeting her.

It was then that I realized that clearly I was missing something. I ended up reading "The Game", fixed up my appearance, got into the whole PUA thing (eventually TRP) and just became a total asshole.

And you know what? It actually worked.

Who perpetuated this fantasy? The medias ? The people around you?

Mostly the people around me. Whenever I would look to people for advice, I would always be given the same platitudes.

What I should have been told was fix up your appearance, hit the gym and start treating girls like sex objects.

Grave_Heresy · 2020-07-23T18:47:50+00:00

The right girl will love you for who you are on the inside.
Women want a man who is in touch. with his feelings.
If you treat her well she will treat you well.
Only a small minority of women are promiscuous.
Looks and status don't matter.
Size doesn't matter
Women need to "feel safe"

Worst one ever

A woman will do anything for the man she loves.

A close second is NAWALT.

Honestly, having a background in research. When you know what the data says it becomes very scary how perceptive non-blue philosophies are. Also, life is the best teacher.

xFallacyx69 · 2020-07-23T17:01:57+00:00

Believed pretty much all the blue pill nonsense. Luckily, I have an attractive face, a decent body, and a good personality. So I got hurt a lot very quickly, which lead to me learning very quickly. NOTHING trumps experience. And when I heard myself say “this one is different”, only for her to follow the EXACT same routine as the girl before did... it’s easy to see a pattern and learn.

Love women for what they are. Don’t be upset by it, don’t let them try to convince you they are different. Watch what they do, not what they say.

c_dolly · 2020-07-23T18:48:41+00:00

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Sid_Insidious · 2020-07-23T18:15:33+00:00

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lemme_tell_you · 2020-07-23T18:24:02+00:00

It's actually why i have difficulty tolerating most media and entertainment. It's all bluepilled bullshit or pandering soyboy television (just look at the cape trash movies that hollywood keeps pumping out).

jacquesreve · 2020-07-23T18:30:47+00:00

With me basically... I got punched in the face two different times by two women (keep in mind that I already knew about the RP and this stuff, but I simply couldn't believe them I didn't want to, I refuse to accept that I had to change with all my forces).

Then there was this cougar I had a crush on in college, she was 11 years older than me, she had an awful relationship with her parents, were heavily addicted to mental drugs, she had an abortion, she was sociopathic to some extent, she was only capable of having feelings for herself and nobody else.

I knew It was a huge mistake, and even though I had no reasons to be a BP (I mean, I play sports, I'm 6'2, I'm not super hot but I'm not beta either) I use to spent too much time alone working on my projects to become a businessman, hence I became too emotionally vulnerable, she then realized that I was naive and decided to use it for her egotistical intentions.

I was always told that "I just had to be myself" and that "women love men who show their emotions". Then that's what I did, started to emotionally back her up, I became her psychiatrist, started to neglect my projects to hang out with her, she seemed to be so sweet and unfairly wronged that I couldn't help but talk to her all day.

I didn't know, but she was just using me to get better grades at school lol, also, she was on a break with her HUSBAND (yep, this psychopath never mentioned she had one). So I was her emotional slave, who had only the purpose of giving her attention and validation.

One day I decided to ask her out on a real date, I had true intentions of assuming her as a GF, then _at this same_ day she got back to her hubby and she just basically treated me like trash as she didn't need my support anymore, I couldn't even recognize her. (unbelievable right? Maybe I have a strong angel to protect me lol). She didn't need my attention anymore, plus, at the end of the semester she already had gotten her grade, she didn't need me at all so she disposed of me like a useless piece of sh*t.

After that, I started to apply some of the concepts that I had learned. After 3 months quarantine started and she was alone again, apparently, things with her husband didn't end well as she expected and she was hoping I was going to be that BP stupid supporter again. Thank God I learned my lesson, I told her I had more important things to do than listening to her problems and she never called me again.

I was not aware of the fact that women can be bad, that they can be as monstrous as men, and that they have an incredible ability to deceive. That was the first time I was treated poorly by a woman, at the time I never had problems with them, and ever since I have been applying some RP concepts in my life and never had problems with women again.

I know, maybe If I was short and uglier thing could have been worse (some friends told me she was talking about me behind my back), but every time I think about the time I lost with her, that I stopped to pursue my dreams because of an older crazy woman who didn't give a sh*t about me, man I lose my nerves. I'll never be BP again, certainly.

The second time was with my mom... I've posted this before so I'm just copying it.

Once I tried to show emotions to my mom (BTW she's an amazing and caring mother, I have nothing to complain about her). She basically gave me a repulsive look of disgust and deception, even though I never cried in front of her or gave signs of weakness. At that moment I noticed that it doesn't matter who are them for you... Girlfriends, mothers, or even just friends, women aren't interested in anything other than their own emotions, their own interests and the fellings of their offspring (when they're young!).

They are apathetic to any male who give signs of weakness. They pretend they like men who cry just because most of them (actor that we see in the movies) are really hot like Hanry Cavill. So the factor beauty and status plays the key point here. They pretend they like that because they want to show how caring they are, hence (as they know we love caring) they can get the best men. Try do cry in front of a woman if you're ugly, short or poor and you'll receive the same look I got from my mom.

It's interesting that they love when WE give them this attention and show how interested WE are in their lives, hobbies, expectations and dreams. There's a bit of truth when they quote that women only care about themselves.

Edit: I didn't make a list cause I think there are so many misconceptions that BP guys (as well as I in the past) believe that showing some empirical experiences can give you a better perspective of my views on it.

xFallacyx69 · 2020-07-23T16:47:07+00:00

No?

I don't get this "I was lied to" anger nonsense. Hell most weren't lied to but told things not entirely true by people who did believe them.

People act like their grandmother was out to get them when she said "A nice boy like you won't have any problem finding a girlfriend."

Anyone who thought girls were somehow angels or that looks didn't matter, or whatever nonsense must have been low on the IQ scale, projecting their own feelings, or raised in isolation.

Three days in middle school would clear all that shit right up.

MrHerbSherman · 2020-07-23T19:13:06+00:00

I think for me the big one was how girls act like “being a good guy” really matters for getting women and it’s just not true

Saw it the other day, a friend made a meme making fun of fat girls, a these girls showed up in the comments saying “yeah if you think this about women you’ll never get any girls, somebody teach this guy how to talk to women,” but really this guy does extremely well with women sooooo idk

Anyway that sort of thinking is super reinforced by many many women and in media when frankly it’s just wrong, women often prefer a fun asshole to a people pleaser

Or to get a little darker, to this day the most fun and success I ever had with a pickup “method” is one I made up myself which I call “scare girls (in a fun way)” lmao it’s hilarious and the ones who like it love it

the_calibre_cat · 2020-07-23T23:04:54+00:00

A little bit, yeah. Mostly the "women are wonderful" thing which is still broadly alive and well today. You'll hear "well of course we don't want to put women on a pedestal, that's also part of feminism!" and then any and all criticism of women is met with extreme social condemnation. Like... yeah, you're supposed to put women on a pedestal, and if you have a gripe about "women", shut it.

They, on the other hand, are allowed to have and voice gripes about men. In the Washington Post. Women aren't policed by anyone significant. When they say they're policed, they mean "a man at the bar made a comment about how women should dress" last night - in other words, a shithead who had no meaningful power to do anything about his admittedly chauvinist views. When men are policed, it is for everything from their romantic preferences to their political beliefs to their daily behavior to their reproductive choices, and this bullshit is literally published in widely shared professional publications or broadcasts. The reality is, expectations and consequences broadly fall on men, not women. Women have to really cross a line to face a little bit of social penalty.

So yeah, I guess I certainly feel a little lied to, but it was mostly public education in my formative years and as an adult, it's definitely mass media that the torch has been passed onto.

statusincorporated · 2020-07-23T17:44:25+00:00

I don't feel lied to at all.

The bluepill is probably 80-90% correct.

"Just be yourself."

Correct. "Yourself" is largely UP TO YOU. Who do YOU want to be.

"There's someone out there for YOU."

There is. Whether or not you want them is on you. If you want a different type, become that type.

"It's all about confidence."

You DO have to put yourself out there and deal with rejection as a man.

"No one's perfect, find someone who treats you well."

Forgive people's faults if they forgive your faults and treat you well.

It's not so much about it being fantasy --- it's translating the meaning behind the wisdom. That comes with experience.

-Solitude-- · 2020-07-23T18:19:31+00:00

“You’ll find that by the time you’re out of high school, personality is all that people look for.” That, and the notion that there’s “someone for everyone”.

2020-07-23T18:40:37+00:00

"your fine the way you are"

"You don't to goto the gym, just be yourself"

"Its your personality that matters"

"Women just want a nice guy"

I could go on.

Of course when it comes to so called "friends", the crab bucket mentality comes into play. Complete strangers on the internet are generally more supportive than "friends" and family. Luckily "friends" are something you can choose, so they can be dropped if they start saying shit like this.

what broke you out of it ?

Im lucky enough to have some level of physical attraction. So when society enforced beliefs and behaviours resulted in scaring these women away, that had initially approached me, I started sensing that their was a disturbance in the force.

Then after a good stint of time thinking i just hadn't found "The One", I discovered PUA.

Radtaz20 · 2020-07-23T19:26:33+00:00

I have a theory that high school is the biggest instigator of both the 'red pill' and 'blue pilll'. High school especially since people have known each other for a long time so it can be especially hostile and heartbreaking and we are all sold this 'teenage dream' fantasy which we all feel a little entitled to. Everyone in high school I think is destined for failure simply by the values that sets itself up for. My guess is that people go into their 20's and prahsp even 30s trying to compensate for their failed high school experience, and think attaining a girlfriend is so essential to patching it up. I've been there myself. Once you start letting go, of not neccassarily the people but the shitty values, I'm sure people would become much less resentful and sympathetic to the fact that everybody has to face the existential problems of life

M4sterDis4ster · 2020-07-23T21:01:04+00:00

1.) Being scared of questioning reality is what perpetuated blue pill fantasy.

2.) Being scared of admitting that there are certain things which are predefined in this world, like your genetics.

3.) Seeing what type of men marries certain type of a woman.

4.) Halo effect of being good looking.

What got me out of it is observing others, maturing, education and life experience and when women chose me for my looks over really decent guys.

churnthrowaway123456 · 2020-07-24T02:17:28+00:00

Absolutely not. In retrospect, my life would have been a lot better if I would have just been "blue pilled" the whole time.

wtknight · 2020-07-23T16:46:32+00:00

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c_dolly · 2020-07-23T18:09:38+00:00

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Market_Feudalism · 2020-07-23T20:44:37+00:00

I was never really bluepilled because of how I grew up (divorce, crazy mother, etc) and how I saw people around me behave, which didn't match the bloop messaging you receive from everyone and the media. I was more like confused. Then I learned how much looks matter and it's just that simple. And yeah, I feel lied to. I might have had a chance if I knew 10-15 years ago.

gopher_glitz · 2020-07-23T21:47:22+00:00

As a young man, you might take interest in a women.

You imagine, taking her out on a few dates, going on walks, hanging out and doing fun things together and then after a while you go in for a kiss etc etc.

NOPE. Some women (sometimes two at a time) will literally meet a guy and be fucking and sucking him without even knowing his name. No dating, no drinks, no sweet nothings.

BROWN-TOILET-PAPER · 2020-07-23T22:07:59+00:00

What were the "Bluepill fantasies" you believed in

That girls like gentlemen. (They do like the right guy being a gentleman, it just isn't necessary for that guy. But just being a gentleman on it's own, is useless.) That girls are as shy and timid as you. That everything will just fall into place for you with girls. That girls aren't sexually deviant/perverted. That once a girl likes you she won't be interested in other guys. That girls are waiting for marriage to have sex (religious upbringing) That Christian girls are 'good.'

Who perpetuated this fantasy? The medias ? The people around you?

Yes.

and what broke you out of it ?

Life.

YetAnotherCommenter · 2020-07-24T03:58:14+00:00

What were the "Bluepill fantasies" you believed in?

The idea that women are more interested in personality than appearance (relative to men), that women will forgive appearance flaws if you're funny and/or smart, and that female attraction is more "cerebral" and less "physical" than male attraction.

Who perpetuated this fantasy?

My very own mother told me stuff like this. Not to mention you'll find even male-sympathetic thinkers like Norah Vincent who perpetuate this idea.

richlad · 2020-07-24T06:16:38+00:00

No I never felt being lied to.

Mostly because I didn't ask any girl for any advice

The stories from movies and books, tell us smth which obviously we all know is a big joke and for its entertainment value, a girl next door falling in love with a nerd doesn't happen that often to matter in real world terms.

Secondly, my mother always critizized my school performance/sports/ability to make money. So I knew how shallow people can be, she made me ready for the world.

I ended up succeeding in most of the things including wealth starting from very humble background. Today, she's happy.

I am not resentful for anything anyone told me. What I am sad about is that being honest and dedicated and helpful doesn't really work with women no matter how you put it.

gutsandgorey · 2020-07-25T01:56:32+00:00

Most men are genuinely good people and only a small handful of men want to cheat, rape, murder, oppress, harm women (and little girls)

Then I found the internet and my illusion was shattered.

lilastr · 2020-07-26T01:05:13+00:00

lies

Lie number 1: I’m not really red pilled or whatever, and I’m a woman. But the biggest lie I’ve been told by the mass is probably how women don’t have deadlines. Like I’ll always be fertile, always be this attractive. Maybe, I’m sure I’ll be attractive, I obsessively take care of myself and my asian genes will help me out. But not fertile. That’s just anti biology.

Lie number 2: That fucking around will make me empowered. I’m not sure if this one is a blue pill lie but it definitely feels like a left wing lie.

Lie number 3: I should have known that all men are divided into two categories, those who are family men with long term values (only LTR, capable of commitment, good dad materials, fantasizes about leaving legacy, strong family structure, his high RMV) and those are fuckboish men with short term values (“enjoy your youth,” ONS, casual sex, low standards for women to fuck, not into marriage, fantasizes about countless women/harem or his high SMV). And I shouldn’t have taken the standards, words, preferences or advices from the latter since they won’t ever contribute anything to my life since I’m a long term value woman too. So it would make sense to listen to fuckboys or chads only if I did thot-activities too. But I’m a wifey type of girl so it doesn’t make sense to me to follow values from different “dimension.”

Lie number 4: That a guy will love me no matter how I look like. NOW, I’m not saying all men care about is looks and my personality won’t matter. I’ve met men who don’t care about looks, genuinely. But with great relationship and my personality, great looks and nice ass/body would certainly help him out. It would be easier to love me. It is a bonus. And it’s certainly a huge ass bonus I need to obsessively keep working on.

Lie number 5: Men who go 50/50 on dates just support feminism and equality. Nah. Men who can’t buy a plate of food for a woman they are interested in probably (VERY probable) are not in for much. Now I’m not asking for a house or a car. I’m asking for a gesture that people have been doing since the beginning of the time. Mothers feed children, wives feed husbands, boyfriends feed girlfriends. How much a dinner can cost anyways? 50$?70$ for both max? Men who think of this as gold digging should understand that you can’t dig much out of a dinner. It’s gentleman-ish. It’s attractive. It’s a HUGE green flag because it’s sign of responsibility. Women who date just for free food are embarrassing and ruining chivalry for normal women like us. Women who demand paid dinners are rude. Men who bitch about dinners sound pussy. It’s just how it is and period.

Who perpetuated?

Mass media, female friends, social media, radfeminist content creators & friends. Personal observations.

Funnily enough my mother was the only one who has been telling me these things growing up, just using different words and I used to deny her or look down on her for having “old school mindset,” now I realize she’s at least 70% right. ” I wish I knew these things earlier but Im still only 21 so I guess I have at least 9-10 years to play my game wisely. Better to know it now, with non-existent body count than at 31 with bunch of exes while craving family. Not slut shaming though, but you can’t expect both to go perfectly smooth (messy dating/sexual past AND ideal high value family/loyal spouse). For both men and women.

TotalTravesty · 2020-07-23T17:02:13+00:00

Not really. If anyone lied to me, it was myself for thinking that my existence as a Nice Guy without demonstrating it or putting an honest effort in my personal appearance was sufficient to get me where I wanted to be. If anyone lied to me, it would be by not telling me how much of a boring mess I was. But that’s nobody’s responsibility.

Nobody told me I could grow if I stayed in my comfort zone all the time. That was all me. Can’t ANYBODY take responsibility for the things they told themselves to sooth themselves?

Effective_Fox · 2020-07-23T18:45:07+00:00

Honestly no, I never felt lied to. Going back to middle school, I constantly heard girls gushing over conventionally attractive celebrities and boys at school. The logical conclusion was that women are as shallow as men and that seemed fair to me, boys were attracted to conventionally attractive girls. That’s why I don’t get the red pill, it’s selling common sense stuff to extremely naive men as some kind of conspiracy theory where most well adjusted men already know women are attracted to height, muscles, status, ect.

2020-07-24T01:27:31+00:00

[deleted]

jkonrad · 2020-07-23T20:43:44+00:00

The guys complaining about being fooled aren’t quite telling you the full story. They’re not angry that society lied to them... they’re mad because nobody took them by the hand and walked them through how to be a man and patted them on the head when they done good.

What they don’t understand is that nobody gets a Masculinity Manual at 18. We all had to figure it out on our own. Those that were up for the task, that is. Those that were strong enough.

wtknight · 2020-07-23T17:00:21+00:00

No, I didn’t feel lied to about hypergamy. I was a nerd in the 80s and the overwhelming narrative was that nerds didn’t get girls unless something extraordinary happens. I realized that the movies I saw back in those days were fantasies. Instead I realized that I’d just had to lower my standards. It wasn’t until I was older and more mature that I realized that I wasn’t compatible with Stacies or even with typical women to begin with, and that I’d have to put in some effort to find the non-typical women who are actually out there, which I successfully did.

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wub1234 · 2020-07-23T17:54:29+00:00

No-one talked to me about dating when I was younger, let alone lied to me. If anyone even attempted to talk to me about dating, I discouraged it.

By the time I was 14, I'd already worked out everything, and all of my initial conclusions about the world have turned out to be correct.

Everything that I've observed and learned since has merely put flesh on the bones.

psypD · 2020-07-23T18:33:03+00:00

"Women are not objects meant only for your mental and physical gratification."

Must have been the fact that for some reason I was surrounded only by girls in my childhood.

ronak1112roshan · 2020-07-23T19:12:37+00:00

"You will find someone who loves you for who you are and will not leave your side in a bad spot."

"There is someone out there for you. Just keep looking."

"Marriage is a very good place to be in."

"Having a gf/wife will give you regular sex."

Yeah no.

Fusiontron · 2020-07-24T07:41:40+00:00

I saw through the lies by and large, which is a big part why I'm coping much better than other guys with a level of success/lack of success.

One thing that I kind of believed in and see mentioned here is "you need to like yourself before others do." Well, they're almost orthogonal to each. The real lesson is to like yourself, because you don't who (if anyone!) will.

Emergency_Carpet_475 · 2020-07-24T09:10:14+00:00

The concept of love in general and this radical idea that there’s “someone for everyone”.

Also...my favorite: “There’s plenty of fish in the sea for you.” Like, no. There’s tons of fish that are shitty and then there’s one or two good ones that are impossible to catch or wind up just being more shitty fish disguised as good ones.

Sepean · 2020-07-24T09:19:43+00:00

I was lied to by my wife. I listened to her and trusted her when she said she wanted more comfort, that I did stuff around the house and with the kids, and it resulted in a dead bedroom, years of bad marriage, almost divorce.

Finally found MRP, implemented it (I was already fit and well dressed, it was just pretty much just passing shit tests, not listening to her, being dominant and egocentric) and it turned everything around completely. Now she’s loving, submissive and kinky.

OXOzymandias · 2020-07-24T12:24:00+00:00

3 things:

Be yourself

Dont be driven by sex only

Dont be amoral to get what you want

OttoVonBismark71 · 2020-07-24T15:05:15+00:00

Who cares? The world is a tough place. People are competitive and lied to about dumb shit all the time.

Starter91 · 2020-07-24T20:24:20+00:00

my mother is schizophrenic and she messages guys behind my fathers back , she even said once she never loved him and he just ate it without remorse.

pappymekk · 2020-07-24T20:46:15+00:00

The soulmate and the ideal LTR

Candyboi97 · 2020-07-24T23:36:12+00:00

"JuSt Be CoNfIdEnT bRo!" "Don't change anything you're perfect the way you're" :D"

staypositivebrad · 2020-07-25T03:41:11+00:00

No, I grew up before the internet was the beast it is today, a lot of Red Pill was shit you either had to learn first-hand or be friends with or see enough to put the pieces together. By the time I was in my '20s was when I saw part of it (PUA) and then TRP came later.

I would say the big thing is that women don't want their sons to be the guys they were attracted to because a lot of those guys are dangerous, violent and won't stick around long enough to give them grandkids or raise their grandkids. Same reason why guys don't want their daughters to be the same whores they pump-and-dump.

ARFARFMF · 2020-07-23T19:34:05+00:00

No I just feel like important things were hidden. Luckily trp makes things much more clear.

Cobra_x30 · 2020-07-24T05:01:09+00:00

The most insidious was the "Just be yourself" idea. That every problem in a relationship is a man's fault. That pressuring women for sex is evil and wrong.

The "just be yourself" was mostly perpetuated by women I knew. I suppose it worked for them, so I'm not that bitter about it.

That every relationship issue is my fault... that would be the fucking feminists in my university and in my marriage counseling. I hope they burn in hell for this one because it fucked me up hard for years. I think any rational person would have realized that my xWife was just a bitch, but they gaslighted me and wasted near a decade trying to force myself into perfection.

The sex thing was also college feminists. I was so afraid to initiate sex that I couldn't even with my own wife. I was petrified of potentially being a rapist, which also fed into my insecurities about being unwanted. At one point... I think age 22, my Xwife and I just stopped having sex... for nearly a year. I felt so horrible and unloved that I developed suicidal ideation. I after what must have been the 15th conversation on the topic my xWife says "maybe you should just try pressuring me a bit. Sometimes I get into the mood after I say No the first time". As I gradually got more and more aggressive, our sex life improved. Eventually it was sex nearly every day. Best part is that she struggled to tell me the truth because of the exact same feminist bullshit I was also dealing with.

sparklingscott · 2020-07-24T14:30:10+00:00

I think it was just the constant female vicimization that has been perpetuated over the last couple of decades. You start thinking that all these terrible things happen to women and they need to be saved from the assholes. The reality is that these women are not victims of assholes but victims of their own stupidity.

Title	Do you feel lied to ?
Author	c_dolly
Upvotes	31
Comments	224
Date	July 23, 2020 2:31 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/hwgn8t/do_you_feel_lied_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-you-feel-lied-to.716199 https://theredarchive.com/post/716199

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