The BIGGEST fucking RED FLAG!!!

Half_Halt · 2020-11-14T15:06:57+00:00

Years ago, my parting shot to a guy who trotted out the tired old chestnut "she was a crazy b-tch & you are, too" was "yeah, you apparently drive everyone who comes into contact with you crazy. Exactly how is that MY problem?"

maraslove · 2020-11-14T16:13:38+00:00

Facts! Stop going against innocent women and just take this as a red flag. I’ve known this since 21. Any guy who calls his ex crazy, it’s because your evil ass made her that way.

throwaway1456738 · 2020-11-14T14:31:59+00:00

This stuff rlly gets to me. I remember I had a mental breakdown because of some REALLY fucked up shit that was happening while my ex was emotionally abusing me on top of it all. Then I saw that my ex texted one of his friends that I had a “tantrum” and I’m insane for crying and needing to sleep for a while after one of the most scarring moments of my life. The fact that I’m the crazy ex probably 🤧

fireforestfairy · 2020-11-14T15:46:14+00:00

Don't trust a guy who badmouths his exes. When he breaks up with you, that's be you.

huevos_and_whiskey · 2020-11-14T14:50:32+00:00

It’s confusing, because if a woman says her ex was crazy, it usually means he was abusive. On the other hand, if a man says his ex was crazy, it usually means he was abusive.

moxymoxalone · 2020-11-14T16:55:24+00:00

This! I went on a date (Pre-FDS) with a movie-star good looking guy who I found had 3 kids with his ex girlfriend and an on-off relationship with her. He told me all about how cRaZY she was and a loser, etc..

I sat silent and just let him go on about her. As he spoke negatively about the mother of his children, those good looks faded away replaced by a nasty, disgusting scrote. When he finished, I said, “So you have the first child with this woman, fight all the time, decide she’s crazy, break up and move out, then somehow figure it’s a good idea to go back in and make two more babies without any actual commitment to her, break up several more times. Now she has three little kids of yours that you are never around to help with, she doesn’t have any idea if you’re coming or going or if you’re going to send the child support so that she’ll be able to buy FUCKING DIAPERS AND FORMULA on any given month AND YOU WONDER WHY she acts crazy?! Dude, either you are incredibly stupid or just plain toxic”.

He was so shocked that I broke it down like that instead of just sitting there swooning over his pretty face, his mouth opened and closed like a fish and couldn’t even say anything as I picked up my purse and left.

2020-11-14T15:18:00+00:00

Nothing quite like witnessing your ex’s new girl go through the highs of thinking they snagged a prize and dissing his ex (you) on social media to seeing them totally trash him like he deserves once they break up and be a much more positive, healthy person once they eventually move on emotionally.

I witnessed this with my ex fiancé’s next girl. I took a peek at her social a few weeks ago, and despite the vitriol she was posting while they were together (which is a bad sign if you’re in a relationship, and indicative of triangulation on his part, which is a major tactic for manipulators), I felt happy for her that she escaped the madness.

EclecticBarbarella · 2020-11-14T16:02:24+00:00

My ex used to call his baby mama crazy (which in and of itself bothered me, like that’s the mother of your child). After six months dating him, I realized anyone would be certifiable if they had to put up with him for 4 years and then still be around him because they shared a kid. That poor girl, she won’t be able to fully escape for at least another 11 years.

futuristicallyangry · 2020-11-14T17:30:10+00:00

This is very true. My short-term ex had sent me into a panic attack when he stranded me in the middle of the road during a heavy rain and went away on his bike and later blamed me for being toxic on that episode, few days later I had to call a suicide helpline because of the subtle ways he was depressing the crap out of me (and I had no idea I was being cheated on all this time), he broke up with me on the pretext of his mental health WHILE I was on a suicidal helpline. He verbally abused me, sent me threats, stalked me after the breakup for 6 months and for the longest time he went around saying to the girls he was with that I was the crazy ex. The girls believed that and mocked me, took pictures of me while I was around in the same place, used to follow and stalk me and my friends. I really wanted to warn the ladies but they were classic pickmeishas who won his approval by harassing me.

2020-11-14T18:59:37+00:00

I know of only two women who were actually crazy as their partners described. They both are clinical psychopaths and it's scary as shit.

The rest are, of course, just being gaslighted by their exes.

mel0278 · 2020-11-14T16:20:49+00:00

I feel like anybody who talks about their ex in a one sided way is just a red flag bound to happen.

I was in the talking stage with a guy I matched with on a dating app, and I don’t know how but he decided to bring up his previous relationship and then the idea of a first date the next day.

Needless to say I did not go anyways.

swatir24 · 2020-11-14T16:48:00+00:00

Or if a man tells you he isn't in contact with any of his exes, you feel relieved but then over time you discover that it's because they have all blocked him. And then one day you join the list of his exes who have blocked him. A journey I could have easily avoided.

Gambit12345 · 2020-11-14T20:30:28+00:00

I realized this early into my last relationship. My ex told me that his ex would nag him all the time. It seemed sus to me, because why would a woman have to repeatedly ask to the point she becomes a nag? I soon found out. Dude was a lazy bump on a log. Then it made sense. She wasn’t a nag, he was just extremely low effort. Apparently his ex had a habit of stonewalling, which I did as well. I even told him I had that problem and any time we had a fight early on he dismissed me, knowing I already have a hard time explaining my feelings. That made the stonewalling 1000x worse because now I felt scared to talk to him openly, and that I wouldn’t be heard or understood at all. He said our relationship was becoming like the one with his ex. I told him if that’s true, YOU are the common denominator!

CrownWaster · 2020-11-14T16:04:21+00:00

I remember this all too well. My ex not only told me that his ex was crazy, but one of his best friends confirmed it. Yet she was the one in his family photos, and I (his fiancé no less) wasn’t invited in. Pretty damn sure his baby mama has been told how “crazy” I am. 🤷🏻‍♀️

chateauduchat · 2020-11-14T14:32:07+00:00

YUP 👍🏻

12thwizard · 2020-11-14T15:59:51+00:00

Real talk. Mine did this with wife number 1, and now I'm in and out of court for a RO and he's screwing me through child visitations and ordering expensive reports via said courts.

Novemberinthechair · 2020-11-14T14:58:27+00:00

No shit.

happytoll · 2020-11-14T19:13:56+00:00

Completely true plus shows he isn't over them.

No accountability

CuriousBubbleMilkTea · 2020-11-14T14:35:17+00:00

What if he called all of them "b1tch" or "wh0res"? What does it mean?

Edit: don't worry, we are not together anymore.

Mysterious_Service_1 · 2020-11-14T16:36:27+00:00

Preach!! Also, its a really clever triangulation because it appeals to the part of you that has been conditioned to want to prove to him that you are special and worthy and "not like other girls". SMFH.

Kristeninmyskin · 2020-11-14T18:18:51+00:00

We here at FDS all know that his exes are only crazy because he turned them into psychos! The alternative is that he chooses crazy girls, which is unlikely. Either way, the common denominator is HIM!!

whenthecagedbirdsing · 2020-11-14T21:34:34+00:00

Back when I was a pickmeisha my ex told my his last gf pulled a knife on him and the last girl he called himself dating drove her car into a ditch. I had never heard of such a thing. I was extremely aloof to this kind of thing so I thought they were crazy just as he said. Well.. I found out for myself just how crazy making he could make someone. Drove me insane. I had hella anxiety I didn’t realize came from him. I’m glad he never pulled that much craziness out of me. Once we were done I blocked him and quietly moved on with my life. Didn’t make a noise or fuss on the internet when I found out he was with someone new so quick.

PrivyPal · 2020-11-14T16:52:23+00:00

Learned that one the hard way unfortunately.

Edit: pretty sure that when I called him after I discovered his NSFW reddit account (with pictures of him having sex with women) and confronted him (after he broke up with me via text), he'll tell all his new women how 'crazy I am'. To quote Taylor Swift "no one likes a mad woman - you made her like that"

Newwavesupport3657 · 2020-11-14T21:42:49+00:00

There’s a book called “psychopath free”, it has a whole chapter on exes lol.

oh_shit_oh_fuck · 2020-11-14T23:50:18+00:00

Omg!! I’ve been saying this ever since my last ex 😭😭

He literally said all of his ex girlfriends were crazy and abusive, and like the dumb shit I was I thought I’d be so different and special.

Well you can guess what happened, he drove me fucking crazy. I was seriously mentally ill too and when I went to rehab for an eating disorder he dumped me on my last week of rehab.

😓😓

So stupid.

yolosunshine · 2020-11-15T02:00:13+00:00

If she was truely not fun, I have heard ‘I didn’t like how she was treating our relationship’, but every time I hear ‘she was crazy’ it’s always...him.

deranged_berserker · 2020-11-15T10:32:49+00:00

My narc ex was very careful not to say his ex's we're crazy... What he did was paint a picture of how hard done by he was and how he "made a rod for his own back".

He said things like " she never came to watch me do this bike ride which I had won and I had no one there to celebrate my achievement with and it felt so empty and lonely"

"I cooked every meal because she was out with the horses until 9pm and then she made me sit with her watching TV when I had done all the work around the house and made us dinner yet she would never let me spend time with my friends online, she complained and would get drunk and behave like I did nothing at all to help her".

Like a fool I believed him... Never again. This lazy shit only ever cooked me 1 meal, which he then claimed to his family "I do cook for her" yeah once Simon, just the fucking once when my hand was bandaged up. The rest of the time you brought home take away and then complained about me getting fat, despite my warning this diet would make me fat.

2020-11-14T22:36:55+00:00

Living that life. I reclaimed my sanity though!

no_i_am_gonnal_eave · 2020-11-16T08:28:43+00:00

I was just feeling nostalgic for my ex LVM. Fortunately past me had plenty of screenshots cause I knew this would happen. The first one I found was of him calling me a crazy bitch. Nipped that nostalgia straight in the bud.

Title	The BIGGEST fucking RED FLAG!!!
Author	gagger_of_lolly
Upvotes	1818
Comments	65
Date	November 14, 2020 2:07 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ju2g96/the_biggest_fucking_red_flag/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/the-biggest-fucking-red-flag.736652 https://theredarchive.com/post/736652

Comments