How hard is it for women to find a good guy after 30?

kristynaZ · 2021-07-18T17:06:03+00:00

In my experience the only women over 30 who have a problem getting into relationship are those who have very high standards combined with a shitty attitude. And by shitty attitude I don't neccessarily mean they have a bad personality, it's more that they just expect a relationship to happen to them without putting any significant effort on their side. Typically they are quite busy with their job and hobbies/friends and think that the right guy will just magically appear in their life.

They don't have the patience for online dating ("I tried it, but it was so overwhelming and time consuming to arrange all the dates and then after the 5th date that went nowhere I just gave up"), they don't ask friends to set them up, they go everywhere with their pre-established group of friends, making it difficult for strangers to approach them and they themselves don't approach men.

I have a collegue like this, 35, attractive with nice calm personality, she is definitely not some crazy bitch. She would like a LTR, but has this naive view that love will just find her and refuses to use online dating because it's too much work. The hobbies she is into are female-dominated (yoga, cosmetics), so she does not meet many guys that way. She won't accept being set up because that would be embarassing for her. And even if she did, she has pretty high standards, so it would not be easy to find the right guy for her.

But women like this are not the norm. Most women I know don't have a problem finding a guy after 30.

NarniaFox · 2021-07-18T16:39:11+00:00

It's hard to tell and it depends greatly on your definition of a "good guy".

The older you get the less single and/or childless people there are, so your dating pool gets narrower and narrower. From the other hand, nowadays most people marry in their early 30s, so I don't think that it is that grim or impossible.

Most women I know got married in their late 20s/early 30s. There was no rush or much issues.

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-07-18T18:30:44+00:00

Its never hard for women to find a "good guy." Its only hard to find a good guy that they're attracted to.

Bandit174 · 2021-07-18T17:59:02+00:00

Most of the guys that women would collectively consider high value are probably already locked down at that point.

SaBahRub · 2021-07-18T17:50:31+00:00

About as hard as it is for men to find a good gal after 30

Nation_of_Two · 2021-07-18T18:03:01+00:00

I am 49 and I met the love of my live at age 44. Maybe this is not normative but I had no problems meeting men at any point since age 16.

Flightlessbirbz · 2021-07-18T18:28:56+00:00

I think it has less to do with “hitting the wall” and more to do with the better guys already being taken. But relationships and marriages can end for all kinds of reasons that don’t necessarily mean a guy (or gal) is unsuitable as a partner. Anyone can find themselves single at any age, sometimes you just grow apart, as cliche as that sounds. I think that’s something important to remember for the “you gotta lock down a husband at 20” crew. A lot of married 20 yr olds are divorced 30 yr olds.

poppy_blu · 2021-07-18T18:38:34+00:00

Unpopular truth: what makes dating hard at any age for both genders is having expectations out of line with reality.

A 35 year old woman who will only date an attractive man her own age whose never been married, doesn’t have kids, ambitious enough to have great job but chill enough to have a ton of time to spend with her, and has a full head of hair is going to struggle. And for some who would rather be single than settle that’s ok. But for those who complain that Ivey can’t find at 35 what they could at 25, I don’t have much sympathy.

Red_Nishiki · 2021-07-18T16:32:14+00:00

This is going to be a banning for me.

But it depends on her BMI. And if she already has kids. Near me, the BMI is more important than the kids.

my_alt_account1312 · 2021-07-18T16:25:21+00:00

I guess it depends on their definition of good and whether they themselves actually measure up too.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2021-07-18T17:47:59+00:00

It definitely gets harder. Men are either partnered up or they don't chase as much

TrueStorms · 2021-07-18T19:00:51+00:00

I met my husband when I was 30.

AntifaSuperSwoledier · 2021-07-18T16:40:26+00:00

Only 20% of women 30-40 are single. 40% of that group of female singles are not looking to date. It's actually a relatively small number who are struggling.

"The wall" is a kind of vicarious revenge fantasy.

Men who get passed up by women in their 20s feel vindicated in the belief that the very women who rejected them for "Chad" will be unwanted in the future - a sort of dating karma.

In fact the women who struggle in their 20s with dating are most likely the ones who struggle into their 30s. The "Stacies" who rejected you are married or still dating.

Barneysparky · 2021-07-18T17:23:59+00:00

Quantity goes down the older you get, but quality goes up.

It's simple as that.

Cupcakelover1985 · 2021-07-18T20:26:55+00:00

It depends on how attractive she is and what she has going for herself. For my mom it was quite easy, for one of her close friends it’s proving to be quite hard and she keeps chasing after the same fat, poor man who she let make her a single mother.

The difference my mom a bunch of weight post divorce and got a “mommy make-over”. My youngest sibling was already double digits when she started dating her new husband.

Her friend is overweight, has some traumas she needs to work through and her older child is 9 youngest is less than a year. So it’s hard for her. Even with her dating men that already have kids.

YMaedchen · 2021-07-18T17:51:59+00:00

Whenever I hear women are hitting the wall at 30, I have to think of my sister. She's 31 and has a kid. So supposedly undateable according to the men here. But she literally has suitors left and right. No matter where she worked, she always get's asked out.

In the end, it comes down to how attractive you are. Just like it did does in your 20's or any other time in your life.

TheOffice_Account · 2021-07-18T18:07:01+00:00

My sister found her husband when she was 31 and he was 35.

He’s a super nice guy :) I would say not hard

xFallacyx69 · 2021-07-18T16:52:25+00:00

You know that saying “you’re paid as much as they think you’re worth”?

Well women are dated as much as men think they’re worth. If good men want to date you, you’re probably worth a good man. If they don’t want to do anything but fuck you… congrats… you have a vagina. If you want better, be better and vet for better.

thetruthishere_ · 2021-07-18T18:38:25+00:00

Its not even if the dating pool is smaller. There are good people out there of all ages and still date at all ages.

4D-Alien · 2021-07-18T20:54:48+00:00

i think its easier for a girl to find a guy after 30, than it is for a man to find a girl after 30.

due to so many women having kids and divorce baggage. single men are more baggage free.

Aldabruzzo · 2021-07-18T23:26:37+00:00

This depends on perspective.

It's easy for women at ANY age to find "good" men, i.e. men who will treat them well, support them, and take care of them. "morally upstanding" men. Affable, friendly men. Decent, kind men with decent jobs.

Women after 30 can especially find these men who are as "left over" as they are.

But finding good looking, professionally proficient, confident, dominant, resources rich, sexually attractive men with Game? Yes, but not for commitment. They can get these men to fuck them with decreasing frequency after 30. But they can't get commitment from these "high value" men.

Gilmoregirlin · 2021-07-19T02:33:25+00:00

I met my husband at 36. I was online dating from age 30 on but for a few relationships here and there. I was inundated with men so much so that I stopped the main stream sites because I could not keep up with the emails. I was asked out a ton. So when I read about this wall I don’t know what you all mean?

PM_ME_STRIPPERS · 2021-07-19T08:39:38+00:00

its not hard, they are just chasing the wrong guys

TomorrowsWar · 2021-07-18T18:14:50+00:00

It’s not hard, there are people all over the world who would make great life partners. The struggle I see people with the most is to actually let someone else into their lives because they’re set in their ways. I’ve heard that by 50 finding a life partner is very forward and to the point because you’re both mature enough to realize matters and what doesn’t. They say old couples are the happiest probably because the expectations are well adjusted.

The older you get the more you understand yourself and others. When you’re young you don’t really know where your life is going so a lot of people date to compensate for the anxiety of the unknown future. Ex: While a woman in their 20s need a guy to make a lot of money an older woman knows that a lot of money doesn’t guarantee that he will be a quality partner.

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PlayfulLawyer · 2021-07-18T17:36:07+00:00

I don't know if you meant to post this as question for women, but I'll just answer it anyways if you just mean the standard definition of a good guy , it's not hard, it may not be the type of guy that you're really attracted to but for woman to be 30 years old, find a nice average good guy with a nice career or whatever who views her as a prize, happens all the time, if she actually willing to give him a chance lol

ex_red_black_piller · 2021-07-18T20:02:03+00:00

Define good guy.

SouthernGrass3 · 2021-07-18T22:56:16+00:00

It’s harder than the 20s in the respect that there are just way fewer people available (even fewer than will be your type since a lot of the widely appealing men [and women] already paired off in the 20s) and it is harder to make time to date and to meet people than when we were all 23; you can’t bank on it happening organically.

SuperSupremeKai · 2021-07-19T00:14:34+00:00

If she can adapt, she will have no problems for the most part.

just_a_place · 2021-07-19T04:06:28+00:00

It depends entirely on the woman in question and on what type of guy she is interested in.

We need more information here.

Her desirability will depend on her health, looks, availability, and on whether or not she has kids and on what her own standards are because it will do a man no good if he is a "good guy" while he isn't in her league, socially or economically, and she is therefore off limits to him.

GoodApollo506 · 2021-07-19T15:40:24+00:00

Yea….It really sucks for women that there are only so many 6’4” Chris Hemsworth lookalikes with Elon Musk’s bank account to go around…

Give me a break

Women only care about 3 things:

-Looks

-Height

-Money

If you as a guy don’t have at least 2 of those three attributes, you’re not even seen as a human being, and the best you could ever hope for is to end up as some single mother’s personal ATM…

Your average woman goes through a hoe phase from 18-25, Peaks both physically and sexually @ 25, usually has at least one kid by 27 and expires @ 30….And then they end up as miserable, alcoholic single mothers who complain that there aren’t any good guys left simply because Chad isn’t interested anymore because even @ 35+ he’s still fucking some 23 year old bimbo…

In today’s society, a guy who is under say…5’10”, less than an 8/10 looks wise and works a steady (but not great) job should feel fortunate to end up with some obese, 30+ year old single mother…..

Just buy a prostitute….Treat women like the cum dumpsters that they are (and deep down truly want to be) and move on….Irony is that you’ll probably save a ton of money doing so.

grand_tiremaster · 2021-07-20T03:35:32+00:00

Doesn't seem hard to me? Only if their personality is bad and or they are overly ugly... but I've seen absolutely cute couples that were what would be considered "ugly", that were just happy, in their 30's, and totally smitten with one another. You have to accept people.. that's all.

flowerwoven · 2021-07-18T17:51:43+00:00

The good guys have been married to another early 20 something since they were in their early 20s. I don't really see how it's possible for a good guy to be single after 30.

Title	How hard is it for women to find a good guy after 30?
Author	GreenAbbreviations91
Upvotes	6
Comments	156
Date	July 18, 2021 2:00 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/omhg9y/how_hard_is_it_for_women_to_find_a_good_guy_after/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-hard-is-it-for-women-to-find-a-good-guy-after.793443 https://theredarchive.com/post/793443

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