Help me out here guys

Remarkable_Egg492 · 2024-03-05T21:49:14+00:00

She'll say anything to make her look good. If she was the perfect wife she's pretending she was, she'd be working with you, not against you.

boltmaker12 · 2024-03-05T18:40:59+00:00

If she keeps bringing up emotional stuff I would just respond with "allow me to invalidate your feelings by telling you that since you left me, you also left your sound board".

organicwilly · 2024-03-04T21:04:22+00:00

Turn her volume off, don't take non essential calls or texts. Harden your heart and move on.

DivorceTA1988 · 2024-03-04T12:14:39+00:00

Thanks fellas. I promise you I did not respond- just needed the reminder that it all complete BS. My brain knows but the heart has a hard time understanding the message. None of it matters now, just gotta let it bounce off me when it happens (and it will keep happening since I appear to be you know, functioning without her and I no longer GAF about her POV). I keep my focus where it matters, me and the kids. Don’t worry, when I get back out there and she finds out I will update you with the insanity.

upvotersfortruth · 2024-03-04T09:13:33+00:00

She's in pain or fucking with you. In either case, who cares? Do you respond? Why? Feel the need to defend yourself and your reputation against someone who has no interest in the truth? Fool's errand. Block or ignore. At the minimum mute her notifications so she can't just trounce all over whatever other activity you're involved in at any given moment.

Benzon22s · 2024-03-04T04:22:48+00:00

She still loves you so unless you want to reconcile then be upfront and talk to her that these conversations are no longer necessary to bring up as you have moved on, not with another women but emotionally moved forward. My point is communicate and don’t ghost her.

Enough_Youth_4564 · 2024-03-04T03:11:33+00:00

Nothing is worse than a hateful woman that destroyed her family than a delusional woman who is arrogantly pushing her way back in.

Cvdiva · 2024-03-04T02:28:23+00:00

Friend, stop responding. It’s over. Let it be so you both can move on and move forward

dnbndnb · 2024-03-04T02:02:44+00:00

I absolutely guarantee whatever 💩was floating around in my ex’s head was barely grounded in reality.

SuperConfused40 · 2024-03-04T00:41:43+00:00

Grey Rock her. Only respond or talk about coparenting.

Read no more mr nice guy.

aceraptor9111 · 2024-03-03T22:36:26+00:00

Get a new number. Block hers. Accept that it is over, get over it. Then find you a new model with low APR, low miles once the warranty runs out, get a new one.

alexmixer · 2024-03-03T21:52:06+00:00

Nah dude just ignore it

JD-Anderson · 2024-03-03T21:43:39+00:00

Over a decade after my divorce and my ex still does this. I can’t block her yet until our kid turns 18, but I just don’t care anymore. And looking back, if the divorce was my fault, good because that marriage was literally killing me and I couldn’t see it then. My only regret is that I married her in the first place.

powercozmik · 2024-03-03T21:31:21+00:00

Women end 80% of marriages. The marriages end because they're being sold a lie that they all deserve better and can get better. Some guys do suck at being husbands (I fucked up my first marriage, I own that) but DAMN, 80% of us!?! It doesn't change what I did or make it right, but the lame ass excuses I hear for leaving men have made me feel better about the lame ass reasons I left my first wife. But you reap what you sow (I got left by a woman who I spoiled and bent over backward for) and she will reap it too.

bk2747 · 2024-03-03T20:41:43+00:00

Block her

2024-03-03T19:24:06+00:00

That is literally garbage. It’s ‘I can’t even think of something to say, so I’m going to say nothing and core myself the winner’

Reflog1791 · 2024-03-03T18:16:34+00:00

It’s all garbage nonsense. Don’t let them know what buttons get the biggest reaction out of you. No reply to all this garbage nonsense.

huggsnkisses · 2024-03-03T17:12:17+00:00

Why do women make such great archaeologists?

Answer: ʇsɐd ǝɥʇ dn ƃᴉp oʇ ʎʇᴉlᴉqɐ uǝǝʞ ǝɥʇ ǝʌɐɥ ʎǝɥʇ ǝsnɐɔǝq

Lumptbuttcat · 2024-03-03T16:57:22+00:00

This all happens in phases-

Phase 1. During the marriage she is not happy and starts dreaming of all the “what ifs?”. What if I was single and found a billionaire. What if I moved and landed a job double my salary? Instead of making self improvement in her reality, she fantasizes.

Phase 2. She convinces herself these fantasies are real. You are the only thing holding her back. She disconnects, preparing her exit. Maybe even has an affair. Establishes divorcee friend group to egg her on. Watches tictoks about flourishing divorced women.

Phase 3. She pulls the plug. Your blindsided. Everything you ever did wrong surfaces. You see everything is correctable. As part of her delusion, she can’t see that.

Phase 4. Wreck-less freedom. Spends herself into debt. Get’s ran through by a bunch of losers. Now questions everything. Fantasy becomes reality. Divorcee or single mom life sucks.

Phase 5. She now looks for answers as to why an outcome, so seemingly certain at the time, is nothing like she imagined. She circles back to you, hoping to see this terrible human she fled- looking for justification she indeed made the right move.

(Edited). You now have three choices.

A. Be polite, cordial and move on. Allow her to see a great guy flourishing and let her realize her loss. Give her the painful gift of learning accountability.

B. Bail her out. Beg for forgiveness. Get back together. Buy a simp club T-Shirt.

C. Be a dick, argue and give her justification for leaving. Allow her to continue coming back for more and more justification.

GravityIsForRookies · 2024-03-03T16:51:42+00:00

I’ve had similar experiences with my ex. I’m the type of person that seeks to understand things. Thus, I’ve thought about this way too much. Here’s what I’ve figured out… she needs to validate her decision to get divorced. In my case, it was very sudden and did a lot of damage to me and our kids. So, in order to make herself feel better she reaches out and pokes me with false narratives. I was in the habit of taking the bait and defending myself. It seemed logical to defend myself when she says insane shit. Here’s what I learned… by defending myself I give her stories life and thus in her mind I prove that she was right in her decision. Seems insane but then… she is a bit insane. I don’t do that anymore and now I just let her stew in her own juices.

cactuscharlie · 2024-03-03T16:49:27+00:00

Skim the texts for technical reasons like taxes or stuff that needs to be settled.

If there's no technical reason for the conversation, delete it and don't respond.

CrazySanta7 · 2024-03-03T16:47:38+00:00

"Do NOT text me about things not related to our kids. I will not read them or reply. "

You could have been a model husband, but you will ALWAYS be the bad guy. Someone has to be blamed for her 'unhappiness'. I don't make the rules.

Unicronbomb · 2024-03-03T16:41:01+00:00

It’s bs man. Trust me. Just file and lawyer up.

jimsmythee · 2024-03-03T16:38:23+00:00

Just file for divorce. And don’t bother reading those messages that “it’s all your fault.”

Miserable_Ad_1172 · 2024-03-03T16:35:55+00:00

Just grey rock that behaviour unless she openly says she wants to work on it. It sounds like she might want to give it a go ?

Title	Help me out here guys
Author	DivorceTA1988
Upvotes	36
Comments	64
Date	March 3, 2024 4:01 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1b5kk0b/help_me_out_here_guys/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/help-me-out-here-guys.1246984 https://theredarchive.com/post/1246984

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