Current guy I’m talking to lied about his height on dating app

BBQCoolRanchQueen · 2022-01-14T00:58:23+00:00

Next his ass. If he'll lie about something that can easily be disproven, he'll lie about more down the road. Cut and run at the first red flag.

BasieSkanks · 2022-01-14T01:24:14+00:00

He lied about his height to get matches. This means he is comfortable lying to and misleading women to get what he wants, which is indicative of a man who is negative value. This should be an instant block and delete, unless you are willing to entertain a liar.

AdmiralRando · 2022-01-14T02:43:42+00:00

I wouldn’t bother confronting him. I’m only 5’3” myself and I have no interest in height for height’s sake. But if a man has to lie about himself because he doesn’t know how to rock what he’s actually got? That’s a “no”.

greenwalrus1999 · 2022-01-14T01:57:36+00:00

lying about this is so pathetic lol

ifhewantedtohewould · 2022-01-14T01:55:03+00:00

If he can lie about smaller things (no pun intended) he can lie about bigger things. Plus, guys who lie about their height are insecure about it and you DON’T want to date an insecure man.

NoMoreLVM · 2022-01-14T09:32:28+00:00

It seems small and men will try to gaslight you into thinking all men lie about their height, but it’s not true. Some are 5”9 and say they’re 5”9 because they have genuine intentions for a relationship and don’t want to start off on the wrong foot. Some say they’re 5”9 and are actually 5”4. It is indicative of his whole personality and attitude to truth. It shows a manipulative and dishonest streak.

KindredMaximus · 2022-01-14T01:57:50+00:00

Insecure men are not date worthy. They will do atrocious things to assuage their feelings of insecurity. Lying about height is the tip of the iceberg. Don't be the titanic.

Platipus6 · 2022-01-14T01:18:23+00:00

No rewards for bad behaviour.

Start as you mean to go on. You are now a woman who tolerates lies and by staying with him, he believes you consent to being lied to. "She stayed, being lied to can't be a big deal to her. As long as I 'come clean' she'll forgive all sorts of shit".

keep_my_stuff · 2022-01-14T14:13:26+00:00

My ex could not bring himself to say his exact height when asked and would pretend we are the same height when I am an inch taller. I ignored this, but in hindsight it was the tip of the iceberg of unfixable insecurity.

Austenma · 2022-01-14T01:40:54+00:00

It's not worth a conversation. I'd move on.

blasthead99 · 2022-01-14T03:52:05+00:00

Not only does this indicate dishonesty, but shows he believes the stupid and sexist notion that women are only interested in guys over 6 feet tall. Every time I've seen men discuss their belief that women want really tall men, it's in the form of some sexist tantrum about how shallow we are or their false perception of why they aren't getting laid. The fact he felt that 5'10" would not be tall enough for most women is definitely a red flag in how he views us.

StatusPop- · 2022-01-14T01:34:21+00:00

Yes it’s a red flag. You can expect more lies with half truths coming up later on in the relationship. He has set the tone and it will only continue, if he lied about something minor he shouldn’t be trusted. If you allow the lies it will only get more drastic. I only give guys one chance to lie, cheat, and deceive me because they know I am an honest person and I want honesty in return so there is no excuse. He has duped ladies before so please don’t be the one that he convinced to stay. It may seem like it’s not a big deal but the height difference of 5’10 and 6’1 is also ‘not a big deal’ but he still lied about it.

iacint · 2022-01-14T07:54:40+00:00

Why would lie about this? So weird!

Junior-Lion7893 · 2022-01-14T04:51:40+00:00

I got bamboozled as well!

Guy said he was 5’5. Granted, I’m 5’2, and he stood at the same height as me and blamed that it was my block heels (which were about 1.5 inches high) 🙄. The second time we went on another date, he gelled his hair so it stood up.

fireforestfairy · 2022-01-14T11:06:01+00:00

Yes it's a red flag. His height is not really the problem but the lie is definitely an issue. If this guy is comfortable with the idea of lying about his height (which is so easy to observe as soon as you two meet irl), who knows what else he is lying about?

Khentiamentiu42 · 2022-01-14T07:54:21+00:00

Call him a short king and leave

marshmallowqueen_ · 2022-01-14T18:47:07+00:00

my narcissistic abusive ex did this. said he was 6’1 but was actually 5’10. it will be the first of many compulsive lies he will tell.

ChickenRiceSoup · 2022-01-14T01:27:11+00:00

No. Read the handbook(this is honestly best because you recalibrate yourself, don't let yourself slip) block and delete.

feministcutie · 2022-01-14T03:18:35+00:00

From my experience I thought the same that maybe he was just insecure about his height, but all the short guys I've ever been with are atrocious. They have some weird resentment about their height and would always complain. I think it's okay to be insecure about some things but not to the point of lying and being dishonest about it just to get a match. I'm insecure about my weight since my bmi is like 25 while the recommended is 20, but I'd never lie about my weight just to get a match.

Sunshine_Daisies2525 · 2022-01-14T01:25:54+00:00

Did you read the handbook?

cryptohobo · 2022-01-14T04:12:51+00:00

I literally was just in the same situation as you. Go to my profile and read my post as I wrote about it too. I blocked and deleted and that’s what you should do too. I also have added a picture of me with a measuring tape in my profile and will bring it to first dates now. I also upped my screening, so that if there is a lie detected I just block and delete because I know it was deliberate.

CologneMom · 2022-01-14T18:53:18+00:00

My own sister lied about her age repeatedly on OLD profiles. Made herself up to 10! years younger as otherwise 'only old guys' would contact her. Then was deeoly disappointed when the most interesting guy was mad at her and broke off contact when he found out . So don't. You do not want them to lie, do not lie yourself. If those guys only look for younger women, I told her they would be wrong anyway.

By the way, she also kept quiet about her alcoholism of 40 years, even AFTER meeting the guys. So-one lie can be a sign of much worse!

BelleCervelle · 2022-01-15T07:36:34+00:00

Let’s explore why lying is considered a universal red flag across multiple cultures, countries, languages, and years.

Integrity-abuse is a real thing.

A person who is comfortable lying is a person who not prioritize trust.

You wrote

“ Current guy I’m talking to lied about his height on dating app

I’ve been on quite a few dates with him and he seems promising so far. On his dating profile, he said he’s 6’1. I asked him in person when we were walking and he said he’s 5’10 (which looked more accurate).”

This is called a “bait and switch,” “false advertising,” “misrepresentation,” I could list more terms, but in the end, the result is the same.

He is completely comfortable lying. He is completely comfortable falsely representing himself.

“Even though he said the truth in person, is this still a red flag? Should I confront him about this?”

Yes this a red flag, and a red flag means it’s time to RUN. Don’t bother confronting him, you’ll be giving him ammunition to gaslight you and manipulate you. You don’t owe him an explanation. He has shown his true colors.

A lie is still a lie. Lying shocks a blatant lack of integrity, and you CANNOT fix this.

There are two kinds of people in the world, people who lean more towards being uncomfortable at the thought of lying to someone, and people who lean towards being more uncomfortable at the thought of being honest with someone.

Authenticity is important.

If someone is not comfortable being honest, it means they are hiding a whole LOT more than a singular thing they lied to you about.

I’ve dated men who lied about their heights. I had empathy for them, they were rather short.

My empathy evaporated when I realized they would lie about other important things, like race, disease, sexual exclusivity, romantic intentions, promises, and so much more. It does not stop there.

One of the shorter men I dated, lied to me IN PERSON about his height. He was wearing insoles that made him 3 inches taller. Not only did I find out his true height when we went to his place and took off our shoes, but his true height was listed in his ID.

I thought the lying was one off issue, and then I realized the true lesson.

When someone is comfortable lying to others, it means they are comfortable disrespecting other people and taking away their right to important information.

It is taking away someone’s right to consent.

Lying is just one red flag, one glaring symptom of a much deeper problem, bad character.

Bad character is not something a person can fix.

Why do so many people who lie go to great lengths to hide their lies? Deep down they know it’s a strike against them. Deep down they know it is frowned upon in society, and for good reason.

I hope this answers your question.

I would highly recommend you read the books

How To Spot A Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved by Sandra L Brown

Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft

The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker

Dangerous Personalities by Joe Navarro

Be safe out there.

Edit: I have more information to add.

Everyone will say blocks and delete, and I understand wanting more answers.

A man who lies about his height and is insecure about his height, is a man who is emotionally immature, insecure, and overall, underdeveloped.

Why?

A man who places THAT MUCH value in his height, clearly doesn’t think or feel he has much else to offer. Do you want to be with someone who chooses not to address their issues/insecurities, and willfully chooses not to develop themselves properly?

He’s not even considered a short man, and I say this as a petite woman, men and women who are short have more trouble being taken seriously, in many different areas of life, work, school, social environments, etc.

Yes, it’s a harsh truth, but when a person has developed their self and their confidence, they understand that height doesn’t define everything they are, everything they can do, everything they can accomplish.

My own confidence comes from the work and effort I have put into myself, the years, YEARS of reading books, working on myself, self-reflection, personal development.

I won’t lie about my age or my height.

Why?

I know I have value, and I also know I don’t have to lie to make myself more valuable to anyone, because I have defined the value I have to myself, to society, and more, and it is NOT dependent on something as frivolous as height.

A person who exudes confidence is able to command a room whether they are tall or short, able-bodied or disabled, plain faced or attractive.

Please don’t settle.

All the FDS sisters are here looking out for you. Please be well, and I hope this helps.

souredskittles · 2022-01-14T03:54:01+00:00

Don’t bother confronting. Just ghost. He will just gaslight. This is a typical example of a boundary pusher.

Subject_Ticket · 2022-01-14T03:50:03+00:00

Ok so I’m very short and have a hard time distinguishing between a guy whose 6’1 and 5’10, but I want to know if they’re lying because I get suspicious. Any tips on how to figure it out?

Determinedblonde · 2022-01-14T09:32:48+00:00

How would he feel if you lied about your weight? “Sorry I’m actually 2 stone heavier” 💁🏼‍♀️

electroloop · 2022-01-15T03:22:33+00:00

This is huge, next him.

With the current man I’m seeing, just to verify that he’s actually 6’2”, I measured him. Call me crazy, but if a man can lie about something menial like height, best believe he’ll lie about other things.

BansheeCon · 2022-01-14T08:40:26+00:00

He may have gotten some bad advice. A lot of guys are told by their friends to ‘round up’, as a lot of women have a preference for 6’ and over.

HOWEVER, just because you get bad advice, it doesn’t mean you have to take it. I agree that the lie is a red flag so I wouldn’t pursue this further. You may be tempted to let him know that the lie is the reason you don’t want to go further, but then it’s tricky because he will correct the behaviour but not for the right reason. And if he is a habitual liar, it just means that won’t be as obvious for the next girl.

It’s down to you, but I’d save yourself the time, effort and potential backlash by blocking and deleting. Let him figure out the issues with lying himself - most people get the message about that in primary school.

girl-from-everywhere · 2022-01-14T06:04:52+00:00

Height is such a petty thing to lie about. If he can lie about something as tiny as this, you should be wary of what else he could be lying about. Definitely a red flag.

wonkyeyes8877 · 2022-01-14T23:46:34+00:00

Block and delete him. He'll lie about more than just his height. He has no confidence to boot.

Also, read the handbook.

lolmemberberries · 2022-01-15T00:23:25+00:00

Did he think you wouldn't notice the discrepancy? He's dishonest and sounds insecure as hell.

europoor24 · 2022-01-14T06:31:02+00:00

It’s the lying for me. Dudes will lie about being 6’0 even when they’re as tall as you and not 6´0

East-Willingness513 · 2022-01-14T02:38:27+00:00

There’s a huge difference between 5’10 and 6’1. Weed him out of your gene pool.

mandoa_sky · 2022-01-14T06:44:16+00:00

no. for me the problem would be when if i introduce said guy to my little brother, who actually IS 6'1.

Specific-Composer300 · 2022-01-14T08:40:32+00:00

Yes ask him why. I want to see what he says 🤣

_queeeen_ · 2022-01-16T21:11:26+00:00

Don't confront him. You should move on. If he lied about this, he will lie about many other things that are far more significant and harder to identify before it's too late. Just cut your losses and protect yourself.

Title	Current guy I’m talking to lied about his height on dating app
Author	memes-r-me
Upvotes	361
Comments	60
Date	January 14, 2022 12:53 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/s3er6q/current_guy_im_talking_to_lied_about_his_height/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/current-guy-im-talking-to-lied-about-his-height-on.1096329 https://theredarchive.com/post/1096329

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