Dating Subs on Reddit are Social Engineering Hubs to Normalize Sexual Violence and Disrespectful Behavior toward Women

penelopekitty · 2021-04-11T20:54:07+00:00

I was also just banned from that sub for the exact same thing. Gee, it's almost as if these men are grooming women to think this is normal behavior!

souredskittles · 2021-04-11T21:31:02+00:00

They are trying to groom women to think their behavior is normal. And they are succeeding. The pickmes aren’t helping either.

This is why the existence of this sub on Reddit is so important.

WeirdRockbaby · 2021-04-11T20:48:19+00:00

Yes, i just got banned too for similar reasons. It's so upsetting.

LavaDogged · 2021-04-11T22:02:38+00:00

I got banned too! Literally for saying choking someone against their consent is assault. These scrotes blame Us for “kink shaming” to literally not want to be choked against our will (the way in which women are much more statistically likely to die at the hands of their partners).

Pasdepromesses · 2021-04-11T20:42:01+00:00

Considering the men who are active on Reddit, it’s the least likely online place to find a HVM. I think it’s even worse than Tinder, because rejecting a fuckboi is less dangerous than an incel basement troll or a poly bdsm kinkster.

penelopekitty · 2021-04-11T21:17:58+00:00

Since I joined FDS, I rarely venture outside of cute animals or super niche interest subs any more. Almost every other sub, but especially anything relating to dating, makes me want to leave the planet. Non stop woman-hate, gaslighting and the most bizarre "hot takes" you'll ever see.

On my last ill-advised foray onto a post about a bar responding to a drink drugging in a really proactive way, the comments immediately devolved into absolute trash: what-about-men (predominantly drugged by other men, my guys), false accusations ruin lives (I can't even...), women ruin gay bars (apparently we can't be gay now?) and some asshole stating that there's no such thing as rape culture because no culture celebrates rape (tell that to whoever manages p0rnhub's categories).

I have to actively remind myself that the average redditor is not the average person and it's not as bleak as it seems. I hope.

Big-Respond8481 · 2021-04-11T21:17:25+00:00

Um....it does not matter if someone knows women who like that. If one woman doesn't plus she says that then it is violent to continue. Also it is common sense that you have to ask consent and talk about any act that is not the most basic of the basics, or else ot is rape.

EclecticBarbarella · 2021-04-11T21:53:22+00:00

I know EXACTLY which post you’re talking about, and this is not the first time it’s happened on that sub when someone posts about being sexually assaulted. I noticed a couple of people (mostly women but a few guys as well) are commenting about it but overall, the comments are gross and the mods are leaving them up in favor of removing ones calling it what it is (sexual abuse) because KiNk ShAmInG (I would not be surprised if they ban my other account soon). But the ones saying “don’t victimize OP, this wasn’t abuse” and “just communicate” and “how are men supposed to know you don’t want to be choked five minutes after meeting them” are fiiiiine.

I only lurk that sub to throw out some carefully worded FDS advice when a particularly naive girl is being misled by the guys there. They started pushing the whole “sex after three dates so a guy knows she’s interested” but I’ve noticed there’s a been a recent pushback of women calling shit out and saying “this is my experience, not a generalization that AtTaCkS mEn”

DisastrousSundae · 2021-04-11T23:28:34+00:00

There is a huge movement online to erase women and their experiences right now. A simple way to test what is really going on in an online space or conversation is to ask yourself if the narrative being pushed benefits men.

trumpslefttit · 2021-04-11T21:55:40+00:00

to which I responded - “Reddit is run by men”

Where is the lie tho 👀

You are completely right. Luckily more and more women are wising up.

flimm_ · 2021-04-11T23:23:02+00:00

I’m not surprised. I’ve been downvoted for telling women to leave their LVM boyfriends on those subreddits. I even had a scrote send me violent porn when I said an OP’s bf was a dangerous porn addict (he was watching r*pe porn a few times a day).

And LOL imagine getting banned for stating facts. Reddit IS run by males, even most of the ‘women’ subreddits have male moderators. FDS is the only subreddit where you can find genuine non-misogynistic discussion.

VivaLaSea · 2021-04-11T23:45:37+00:00

I was on the same post and had my comment removed for saying that men aren't children and know exactly what they are doing so society needs to stop making excuses for them.
They flagged my comment as dehumanizing. Apparently, holding men accountable is dehumanizing, smh but lmaooo.

_mooness · 2021-04-11T21:44:46+00:00

I almost got banned from Reddit for the same thing. Funnily enough, I’m only active on FDS. So either there is a specific word that’s automatically triggering a bot that flagged me, or someone here at FDS reported me for “promoting hate”

WestAtmosphere · 2021-04-11T23:48:22+00:00

Lmao I made fun of a guy for his fart fetish and he tried to normalize it SO HARD. It's hilarious the lengths these men go to make their behaviour seem like the standard. Like... peeing, pooping, farting on people? Seriously? Weirdos.

I truly feel bad for all women, it's brutal out there. Men are so reliant on porn, cam girls, only fans, instagram, reddit porn etc. They are so warped, and many of them do not care that they are warped.

Salt_Satisfaction · 2021-04-11T23:54:37+00:00

Could they be any more obvious 😂😂😂? Criticizing violent and disrespectful behavior is now hate speech against men? Imagine making your porn-induced fetishes part of your identity lmao

asupernova91 · 2021-04-12T00:37:10+00:00

They are A CESSPOOL. Please please please listen to me ladies. During quarantine I was bored and new to Reddit (also have my own baggage I actively deal with regarding anxiety and self esteem) and replied to R4R posts, even made my own. Don’t do it, don’t go in there. There are no HVM in those subs. I tried, I’m not being nasty cause I got rejected or treated poorly, I just wish I could warn more girls about it. They seem innocent but no HVM are hanging in there. Go on Bumble, or join any outdoor safe activities, zoom clubs, whatever

Edit: unsure if you mean personal classified subs or dating advice subs but neither are great.

yalllove · 2021-04-11T22:23:21+00:00

What's the plan in the event this sub is banned?

FDS should create their own reddit. feddit ?

Or the website / ovarit is the plan b?

juliana_san · 2021-04-11T22:20:37+00:00

[permanently deleted]

EffectiveHoneydew422 · 2021-04-12T08:36:03+00:00

100% Agree. FDS is the thorn in the side of this misogynistic site. Cackles wildly under full moon

frostedgemstone · 2021-04-12T09:33:40+00:00

Honestly the overwhelming hostile vibes I get from other dating subs are the reason I stopped visiting completely. It’s disturbing to me how every single post is disparaging women regardless of what the original post is about. It is absolutely social engineering and a place where libfem just runs rampantly, at the most extreme level possible.

onefoulowl · 2021-04-12T12:06:10+00:00

Men love to deny the wrongdoing of other men. I was out with some friends i.e. my friend "C" who is gay and one of his friends who is a straight white man.

We started talking about dating and sex I said I hate it when men just start choking you during sex without asking and pulling your hair because they are copying what they see in porn and seem to be completely unaware of the fact this isn't normal and that they should ask for consent. My friends friend hearing me complain, began defending the men I was complaining about saying the majority of women liked that as they are according to him 'naturally submissive' and it wasn't wrong for them to assume I also liked that, undermining my original point about the need for consent. Straight white men honestly think they can do no wrong and will argue with women when they call out men for anything sexual saying it is 'normal'.

FDSfollower1 · 2021-04-12T01:38:00+00:00

Reddit is bent on destroying healthy relationships between men and women. Who benefits from this strategically or financially?

2021-04-12T15:44:07+00:00

I was perma-banned from the feminism sub and blocked by the moderators just for being a part of FDS. I think I gave some pretty great advice, but even in spaces for women if you're not someone who caters to men, you're a threat.

purasangria · 2021-04-11T20:38:07+00:00

What is "chocked? Edit: "Choked." Okay, now I get it.

Guuurrrl_okeehay · 2021-04-12T04:34:13+00:00

Please tell me whats sub is it. 🤣 Ill spy for you guys.

freelancepsychic · 2021-04-12T05:03:30+00:00

Overall I'm just bothered with the expectation men have that ALL women enjoy this type of stuff. They believe it because they see it in porn and pickmes perpetuate it by going along with it. This shit is forced down our throats whether we want it or not. I was casually chatting with a guy a while back and he casually mentioned he enjoys eating ass. I was so grossed out and instantly dried up. Nothing about that is a turn on for me. I hate that because it's a sexual trend among men that women have to suddenly like it too and go along with it.

Reddit is full of the worst of the worst LVM in existence. I feel like this is one of the few subs I feel "safe" on. These men ruin every safe space women have.

Men have ruined so much in my life that I see every man is a potential threat, someone who would probably exploit my body if given the chance, and who will never be able to be a platonic friend without ill intentions. I've tried to have guy friends and they always end up being jealous and passive aggressive, always distancing themselves when you mention you're dating or in a relationship or something, and then pop back up when you're single. We literally cannot have men as friends because they will likely always see us in a sexual way.

Like, we just can't win. I can't date because the dating pool here is bad (I live in a city Ok Cupid once named the best city in the US for casual sex), and I can't make any male friends because they'll probably think I want to have sex with them. I just can't have any men in my life, period. What's funny is ever since I stopped dating I've been much happier and secure with myself and my life. Imagine that!

sarahjo3 · 2021-04-12T19:09:08+00:00

There's a whole thread about a dude who literally said how pissed he was because a girl he was seeing wouldn't sleep with him, so he now hated her but was going to stick around til he got it in, otherwise it would be a waste. Literally none of comments acknowledged how horrific that was. 😡😡😡

Radenoughyet · 2021-04-12T21:45:32+00:00

Why is Reddit so full of loud men? What you said is true- men run those subs. I have several people on one of them currently trying to tell me I’m sexist (against men) because I wrote a response about everything women go through while dating including risk of sexual assault, to a post about all of the terrible burdens men face while dating... like being expected to plan a date.

2021-04-11T21:26:23+00:00

I got multiple comments deleted by the moderators on the same thread because I said I have no problem kinkshaming men who get off on violence against women and that women who ask to be abused during sex probably have mental health issues. Whatever, I had only subscribed to that subreddit today and they already showed me that I don’t want to participate.

Title	Dating Subs on Reddit are Social Engineering Hubs to Normalize Sexual Violence and Disrespectful Behavior toward Women
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	889
Comments	125
Date	April 11, 2021 8:36 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/moyttw/dating_subs_on_reddit_are_social_engineering_hubs/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/dating-subs-on-reddit-are-social-engineering-hubs.1188929 https://theredarchive.com/post/1188929

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