Getting turned off by men

Platipus6 · 2021-04-25T02:02:19+00:00

After realising the ugly ones won't treat me better, there's literally no reason to interact with men I find unattractive so I can disregard 80% of men I see in the wild.

My socialization and internalized misogyny is gone - men aren't smarter and superior to women so they no longer get that freebie admiration and respect. They start in the negatives until they prove otherwise, and the majority of them fail to get above zero.

Pfaffing · 2021-04-25T08:53:49+00:00

Every now and again I remember that random men on the street are naked under their clothes and it makes me shudder every time.

DisastrousSundae · 2021-04-25T04:23:09+00:00

I feel like if it weren't for fiction that depicted men as noble, brave, and selfless (all lies) it would be easier to completely break free of them.

randomgirlimok · 2021-04-25T02:07:23+00:00

I miss having someone I can count on and do fun things with. Then I realized I can just get friends instead of a man.

outward_hand · 2021-04-25T06:54:29+00:00

I thought giving an ugly boy a chance would be good because I was focusing on the inNeR vAlUeS than looks but all it gave them was misguided confidence to treat you like shit cause them ugly ass pulled you. Stop giving ugly men false confidence to spread their seed.

Lost_Kale90 · 2021-04-25T02:19:10+00:00

Yes definitely. I have found their entitlement, lack of empathy, and lack of emotional awareness (themselves and others) such a turn off. And definitely their nEEd for porn.

I do miss a big, warm body to be held by. Just gotta figure out that one.

Lemon_bars_addiction · 2021-04-25T08:57:45+00:00

Yep I get annoyed just being in their presence now. Have chosen to be single and celibate and focus on myself. Unfortunately I always attract male attention when I’m out and while it used to flatter me now I’m genuinely disgusted.

Edit: Also I’m bi, so when I’m ready to date again men still won’t be my first choice

New_Article7411 · 2021-04-25T06:43:23+00:00

Forget the looks part, half of them just sound dumb. I can hear the dumbness in their voice.

circescircus · 2021-04-25T04:27:17+00:00

There's nothing wrong with men physically if they are fit and take care of themselves. I think plenty of men are attractive if they take care of themselves. But almost all of them become unattractive as soon as they open their mouths/after getting to know them.

When I was dating, attraction was very rare for me for this reason. Their personalities, behaviors, the things they say and do-- are such huge turnoffs. And it doesn't help that the majority of them don't take care of themselves. But even if they do, very few of them have self-awareness, emotional intelligence, a realistic view of themselves and the world, empathy, etc.

Twolipz_78 · 2021-04-25T02:02:58+00:00

I am very happy to say that I am very much losing my attraction to men to a great degree. Also not succumbing to my “loneliness” and “bordem” by energetically engaging with LVM In any way as I would have in the recent past.

nebsemi · 2021-04-25T02:09:51+00:00

I actually lost my attraction to men a few months after discovering this sub.

redwineandsolitude · 2021-04-25T03:14:43+00:00

Attraction to most real-life men, unfortunately yeah, it’s depleted. I have an idealized version in my head of a feminist, sexy, strong, loving man that I probably will never meet, so my attraction to the fairy tale man is still alive and well, lol. Once I let men court me they show their true colors and may as well directly hit my “off” button. I do miss sex though. I will admit that.

PinkBlair99 · 2021-04-25T04:20:25+00:00

This is also my exact take.

soundslikeautumn · 2021-04-25T13:13:16+00:00

Absolutely! It's funny that you posted this because I was just thinking about this exact thing yesterday. I'm genuinely losing attraction to men, but it doesn't bother me at all. It honestly feels really freeing!

gutsandgorey · 2021-04-25T01:49:42+00:00

My sex drive is completely gone. Not that sex was really that great to begin with. Men really are useless.

AcadiaLeather5071 · 2021-04-25T07:38:32+00:00

I’ve decided to just be on my own and not pursue a partner. Tbh it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I’m less attracted to men and interested in romance in general now.

Big-Respond8481 · 2021-04-25T11:26:16+00:00

"Why else would you really need them?"

If you want a dick, go to amazon and buy yourself a dick-shaped pillow: they are smooth, fluffy, pink and have cute little faces and they support your neck when you lie down. All things that dicks on men could never do.

We bought a friend one for her birthday as a fun gadget.

eclo · 2021-04-25T10:36:04+00:00

Yep. In theory I’m still attracted to them and sexually I am but that initial attraction usually fades bc men usually display some glaring red flag pretty quickly. Men are literally cockblocking themselves by being such low effort losers. And somehow it’s all our fault.

2021-04-25T07:17:46+00:00

[deleted]

NottodayScrote · 2021-04-25T02:05:13+00:00

Whenever I meet a guy I get this mental image of him sitting in a brown pleather recliner, wearing a dingy wife beater tee (there is a stain. Wtf is that ? sweat? Cheeto juice?🤢)with black and green plaid boxers, bottle of cheap beer in hand

smallishtree · 2021-04-25T14:20:33+00:00

Definitely, when I go on dates and talk to potential interests I don’t feel this urge to HAVE to please them and make it work. I don’t even feel like “oh boy I wonder if we’ll kiss!” I think that’s also why OLD isn’t recommended (even if this isn’t explicitly one of the reasons) I feel more inclined to being attracted to someone now if I know them better and see their character and behavior outside of the context of dating. How do they treat me as a person and not a conquest? How do they treat me when sex and love aren’t even on the table?

IAteTheDragon · 2021-04-25T11:54:44+00:00

I used to looove men(in sexual context). And as I was and am still not looking for a bf, sex and casual friendship was all I wanted. But about 10 months ago when I discovered FDS, the time I also gradually stopped putting up with fuckboy BS, I realized that even though I want this ONE thing from them(a passionate respectful sex) they still couln't fuckin deliver!!! Ever since then I have been celibate. As I've been noticing more signs of constant disrespect and selfishness(Thanks FDS) I find men less and less attractive. I still find some of them physically soo hot, but I'd rather put my eyeballs into boiling water than give away sex ever again to someone who doesn't know and respect me. I found not having sex a huge boost of 'silent' confinence(though I wasn't even expecting this). I still want men physically but that's not a reason to just sleep with one. ❤️

Novemberinthechair · 2021-04-25T14:53:16+00:00

Yes. Agreed. I have trouble finding an excuse to keep one around. You know, even if the relationship didn't involve sex, I'd still want to enjoy looking at him. I dunno, that's just me. A Holmes/Watson or Scully/Mulder type of relationship would be ideal. But none of them qualify. So, whatever. Do I miss sex? Meh, not really. If I want an orgasm I can have an orgasm. I do hate having to deal with men in the context of a relationship. It's so tiring and boring most of the time.

msssst · 2021-04-25T22:32:45+00:00

Yes - it is a complete fallacy that ugly men treat women better - looks and values are uncorrelated. This is why I only date hot guys - at least I find them attractive.

BashRunes · 2021-04-25T03:37:30+00:00

It's a good thing I'm bisexual is all I can say.

EffectiveHoneydew422 · 2021-04-26T05:45:35+00:00

Even the hottest dudes start to diminish in attractiveness as soon as you witness what they laugh at and what they think is funny... it can go from 10/10 hot to 0 in a matter of seconds.
Or even attractive man starts speaking about his GF in a way that is shudder and you just feel bad for her because you know the physical attraction is making her settle for a very lack lustre relationship.

jasmine-blossom · 2021-04-25T13:58:05+00:00

Maybe I’m in the minority for this, but I’ve actually never found men to be that attractive unless they are good people. When I was in high school I really didn’t have any crushes on any guys, because most guys I knew were just jerks, and I could not for the life of me understand why all these young women around me were trying so hard to get male attention, to get boyfriends, and to get guys to like them, when I just completely saw these guys as dumb and lead by their dicks.

Unfortunately this attitude did not protect me from assault, but it certainly protected me from getting involved in relationships with guys where I was going to be manipulated, because I frankly didn’t really care what they thought and they all seemed really stupid and unable to have any critical thinking skills.

I dated two maybe hvm at the end of high school; I don’t remember the relationships very well but I wasn’t having bad sex or being mistreated. I did end up having a relationship with a lvm after high school, Which went on longer than it should have because I wanted to give him more of a chance because he was kind to me, but I wasn’t actually attracted to him and in the end the relationship was just really unhealthy. So there’s a downside to it no matter which side of the equation on. I was able to learn from that mistake, and I’m never again going to be in a relationship with somebody I’m not attracted to.

Nowadays, I literally can’t find a man attractive if he doesn’t also have a good personality. My last ex-boyfriend is a very conventionally attractive man but I am not attracted to him at all anymore because of the way he treated me and I lost that attraction gradually the worse he treated me throughout our relationship. That’s part of the reason why online dating does not work for me because I can’t swipe and know whether I’m going to be attracted to a guy and less I actually know him and know that he’s not a loser.

I’m happy to be friends with guys, and I am friends with several really awesome man, but I’m definitely not going to give a man a chance in a relationship just based on his appearance; I need to know who he is first.

PeaceImpersonified · 2021-04-25T02:50:10+00:00

Personally speaking, I only found sensible men with good personalities worth talking to and as for attraction, the only men who met my standards were in a different continent and famous (east Asian male celebs (it's not just Kpop for me🤭, I'm a proper otaku/weeb)) or completely two dimensional (anime or other forms of fiction)

So from the get go, most men had nothing to offer me (Useless🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️)

Now, that I have found this sub and confirmed all of my fears (plus some); all I want to do is figure out the logistics to make and maintain a female only SMBC community, how to be a responsible pet owner, or how to become an excellent cougar (Not underage, just within a 5 year perimeter of when I finally reach 25 and up)

But yeah, Forever Manless team. And happy doing it! 🤭☺️ I'm currently in the process of brainwashing my mother

FastCardiologist6128 · 2021-04-26T19:13:39+00:00

It's a good thing. Beeing less attracted to men means that we won't let our hornyness impair our judgement

Title	Getting turned off by men
Author	NoNefariousness5137
Upvotes	424
Comments	91
Date	April 25, 2021 1:45 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/mxy45a/getting_turned_off_by_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/getting-turned-off-by-men.761275 https://theredarchive.com/post/761275

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