Guys barging into the bathroom on purpose seems to be a big issue

Thestral-glow6 · 2021-09-18T20:28:55+00:00

Boundaries, all about breaking down those boundaries. How dare a woman want to use the bathroom in peace and have some god damn privacy.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2021-09-18T20:18:28+00:00

All these shitty men really get high on violating women's boundaries. This is why you have to get PISSED if some man ever does this stuff to you, so you won't put up with it.

lopsided-pancake · 2021-09-18T21:20:53+00:00

My ex would barge into the washroom every time after we had sex. I like to pee right after, yet his excuse was he wanted to catch me in case I was masturbating to finish off? I guess he was self aware he couldn’t make me orgasm 🤷‍♀️

whiskey_and_oreos · 2021-09-18T20:56:23+00:00

It's all about your boundaries and need for privacy in opposition to their out of control drive for unlimited access to you. This is one of the many ways abusers wear you down and most of it is projection. They'll try to say things like "we don't need to hide anything" while they hide their affairs and porn use and "I want you to be 100% comfortable around me" while they're wearing a mask to lure you in.

By the way, you know how people know a door is locked? When they test you and try to open it. The minute to hear any questions about why you locked the door, just run.

GabbaG0ul · 2021-09-18T22:05:25+00:00

I had an ex like this. I think they are afraid you’re looking at porn or masterbating because that’s what they’re doing.

jackrusselterror1 · 2021-09-18T22:44:48+00:00

I immediately assumed he was a cheater or porn addict and projecting like crazy, maybe a junkie with his drug of choice hidden somewhere in that bathroom. At bare minimum he’s intentionally crossing her boundaries, which is obviously abusive. This was one of the signs my cheater porn addict abusive ex displayed.

Cheaters aren’t nearly as great at pretending everything is peachy as they claim on adultery subreddits. They need to communicate with their affair partner somehow, and that way is normally by taking their phone to the bathroom or texting late at night while you’re asleep. When a guy is cheating, he’ll grow distant. Things that don’t normally bug him turn into huge arguments that he drives off to “clear his head over” (see the side chick). He grows secretive over his phone and computer, changes passcodes, doesn’t let you borrow his phone to look up directions or read a text to him while he’s driving. He’ll bring up a bunch of past issues he’s never addressed in arguments as proof of some personality flaw of yours. And cheaters project. They realize that they’re getting away with being sneaky, and it’s easy, so they wonder if you’re doing the same. sometimes they feel guilty and need to make you the villain. Some people assume that everyone has the exact same moral compass as them. They’ll try to catch you in lies, get jealous over other men you’re friendly with, invade privacy, snoop, isolate you from your friends and family, maybe monitor your whereabouts. My ex used to check Google maps to verify that I was stuck in traffic, and he’d double check my gas monitor to see how much I used with how long my drive was.

dkwantsdk · 2021-09-19T05:58:25+00:00

This immediately made me think of how domestic abusers use sleep deprivation as an abuse tactic. Barging in to the bathroom is meant to dominate, humiliate, and control.

Vaahla · 2021-09-18T21:04:37+00:00

I just want to poop in private 😫

I’m not a dog, I don’t need him to watch for predators while I do my business. Especially when he’s the only poop predator around 🙄

Not_a_throwaway_acnt · 2021-09-19T02:08:55+00:00

My ex did this and it drove me nuts. He would always say “be natural” while I was like “gtfo”

Latter_Ostrich2875 · 2021-09-19T08:51:02+00:00

This is so strange seeing so many other people talking about this. My father was abusive towards me and he used to pretend the lock didn’t work because he knew I had a fear of being trapped in places so I’d never lock it and he’d barge in. I had a sign up that you flip over to show whether or not someone’s using it so he knew I was in there but he still did it. I realised that the lock actually did work so I started locking it and he went nuts. He would scream and pound the door. A few times he actually threw himself at the door over and over trying to break it down. It was terrifying and to this day I still don’t know why.

Muffcakelord · 2021-09-19T09:58:47+00:00

It's just abuse which is why men defend it. Most men are abusers and they want it to be normalized.

My own brother got insanely angry from me simply block delete ignoring him from my life after years of hard abuse. It's almost like it physically hurts them not to be able to torture a woman. They walk all the extra miles to be able to hurt women. And it's so rare to see them abuse other men so there's that. Have zero tolerance for any boundary toying.

throwaway-fds · 2021-09-18T22:17:23+00:00

it's a narcissist thing. My father would do that after I "disrespected" him so he felt in power again and also to humiliate me

The_Oracle_of_Delphi · 2021-09-18T23:49:25+00:00

I had forgotten this, but my ex used to do this all the time, over my protests (the door didn’t lock). He would also try to look over my backside to see what was in the toilet. And he would sniff the air. He thought this was all very funny. ???? It got so I had to flush as soon as I heard him coming. Was he trying to embarrass me? Honestly, I thought he only embarrassed himself…

asianinindia · 2021-09-19T01:54:02+00:00

Do people abroad not lock their toilets when using them? Is this the norm? Here people keep their toilets locked at all times, both when in use and when not in use.

munissa · 2021-09-18T22:51:03+00:00

In my younger years, I would think I was in the wrong. I always had a habit of locking the door while I did my business, whether is was showering or relieving myself and when I first moved in with an ex, he got super angry when I locked the door - I remember feeling really bad and apologizing profusely.

Zurflu · 2021-09-19T00:11:06+00:00

Projection. Those men probably jerk off or talk to other women when they're on the toilet so they're trying to catch their wife doing what they do.

AC7878 · 2021-09-18T23:58:23+00:00

My narcissist ex... he would never let me close the door when I showered and often times got upset that I chose to go shower on my own. If I think of this today I'm baffled that I accepted that shitty behavior.

honeybadgerattitude · 2021-09-19T13:06:01+00:00

I’m late to this party but the realisations hitting me are insane. That’s why my ex broke the bathroom lock. That’s why I still have panic attacks in my bathroom. That’s why I had to beg him to let me bath or shower in peace and not be sexually assaulted because I was forced to be naked while I cleaned myself. That’s why. FFS!!!!

Helpful_Stock · 2021-09-19T20:07:40+00:00

Yes, the boundaries thing is a huge issue for them, but also it's the fact that men are raised to take up, and think they're entitled to, space. My ex would make the excuse that it's "his house" so therefore, he can to wherever he wants, whenever he wants to. It was not only the bathroom thing he did, but also if I had an early shift the next morning and was trying to get some sleep, he would stay up late then loudly enter the room, turn all the lights on to make sure I was awake, then gaslight me when I got angry at him.

Yet when he was the one trying to get some sleep I would always leave the light off and tiptoe into the room quietly, but got forbid I ruffle the duvet slightly when I'm getting into bed or roll over, he'd wake up and yell at me for being "inconsiderate."

They don't even need to flat abuse you, it's just little things they do like this which sends the message that your space, sleep, privacy, time etc doesn't matter. There's always takes precedence over yours because they are raised to believe they're more important than you.

shockingupdate · 2021-09-19T00:59:00+00:00

I have a NVX who would see me go into the bathroom and, instead of waiting for me to come out to start a conversation, just STAND IN FRONT OF IT AND YELL THROUGH THE DOOR. I’m neurodivergent, introverted, with PTSD and other junk, and the bathroom is my goddamn safe haven, and of course I CoMMuniCaTed that sometimes I just want to sit on the throne and enjoy some sweet, sweet, healing silence. But nah, he truly believed like just because we were living together he was entitled to my time and attention literally every second of the day and got LIVID when I suggested otherwise. Following me up and down the house like a the weirdest looking puppy.

catlady4u · 2021-09-19T12:23:17+00:00

What is it with men and bathrooms?

My first ex husband got so pissed when I'd lock the bathroom door. He felt he was entitled to go into the bathroom when I was in there.

My most recent NVX picked the lock on the bathroom door not once but again, after I screamed at him the first time.

OnlyPaperListens · 2021-09-19T00:10:11+00:00

I had no idea this was a thing. Are these women dating cats? That would explain the freakouts about closed doors.

Novemberinthechair · 2021-09-18T22:24:35+00:00

It's a public issue too.

sofuckinggreat · 2021-09-19T02:30:40+00:00

stares directly into the dude’s eyes while having explosive IBS diarrhea

What, did you think it just stood for International Babe Society????

BooksandEarlGreyTea · 2021-09-19T13:13:50+00:00

I read that post and I hope she gets away from that scrote, because it is abuse. It is all about control/ domination and a huge dose of humiliation - they are attempting to erode boundaries and your sense of self by making you unable to have your own privacy and space to either relax or process.

TieDieEye · 2021-09-19T02:15:21+00:00

My ex used to do this all the time and it was so weird. Like I would repeatedly tell him to stay tf away from the bathroom if I was using it but he would either barge in if the door was unlocked or violently jiggle the doorknob and yell at me to open it and I would just yell at him back to go away.

I didn't know it was a thing. Most of the time I would just laugh it off but when he actually barged in I would legitimately get scared.

Professional-Pea-317 · 2021-09-19T00:04:27+00:00

Ugh, I used to fuck the most LVM who would do this. One time he pulled down my pants and said he was doing it bc he wanted to show "how comfortable I feel with you". Took me forever to get away from this scrote with mommy issues.

PinkestMango · 2021-09-19T10:42:34+00:00

He is probably trying to catch her masturbating because he is not getting enough sex. Probably because he is terrible at it.

ALysistrataType · 2021-09-19T13:04:17+00:00

Every time someone posts something in this sub it's on the list of "Weird Shit My Casual Fling Did"

On night ONE he just walked into the bathroom while I was using it. At first I just thought he was feral but nope. Just another 🚩.

brylm92 · 2021-09-19T23:34:30+00:00

Wow, flashbacks. My mother and father would constantly barge into my room with knocking or asking, despite me repeatedly asking for privacy. They gave my younger brother a lock on his door.

thatshadywitch · 2021-09-20T08:37:23+00:00

My ex used to do this all the time. In hindsight I think bathroom time was the only moment I could have a break from him, and he knew it. So he made sure to ruin that as well.

Krelxyian2333 · 2021-09-23T15:32:29+00:00

Actually this is incredibly common. I mean think about our own mothers though, like think about how they were treated by brothers or fathers in terms of bathroom manners. I think it’s just become natural for men to completely disregard and disrespect women no matter the setting.

povofme · 2021-09-19T00:50:43+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Guys barging into the bathroom on purpose seems to be a big issue
Author	highoncatnipbrownies
Upvotes	869
Comments	73
Date	September 18, 2021 8:11 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/pqtjys/guys_barging_into_the_bathroom_on_purpose_seems/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/guys-barging-into-the-bathroom-on-purpose-seems-to.1075706 https://theredarchive.com/post/1075706

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