Ladies please don’t do this. You deserve your dream ring!

AnniaT · 2022-01-22T22:56:44+00:00

If she needs schemes to speed up the proposal and remind him she's anxiously waiting it means she already knows or at least senses that he sees her as a forever girlfriend and is just stringing her along or stalling the most he can. I'm betting they've been together for god knows how many years and him avoiding the subject like the plague. She's just a placeholder or a bangmaid for him he doesn't feel the need to commit to.

curlyhaiir · 2022-01-22T21:12:49+00:00

The day I have to remind him to propose to me is the day I am leaving.

UnapologeticWife · 2022-01-22T21:21:11+00:00

That upgrade will never happen. Ever. And we all know that if he wanted to propose, he would have already. He’s coasting on this and biding his time, knowing she will keep lowering her standards to keep him.

PasDeTout · 2022-01-23T01:13:19+00:00

Where’s the self respect? Begging for a proposal and then trying a bribe of a cheaper ring to help ‘sweeten’ the deal. If it wants to, he doesn’t need these inducements. She’s being strung along and is cheapening herself by being so desperate.

BasieSkanks · 2022-01-22T21:45:05+00:00

That subreddit is a whole heap of sad. Full of amazing women who are literally begging men who don't want to marry them to marry them. They really dislike the phrase "if he wanted to, he would" over there, too. But I guess that's because accepting that is true of all men would mean that they would be forced to confront the fact they committed to a man who is not interested in being committed to them.

Maingurl · 2022-01-22T21:12:25+00:00

I'm hoping this will speed up the proposal.

Throw a reminder to him.

Sis what!? 🕵🏻‍♀️

Competitive_Bar8657 · 2022-01-23T02:32:23+00:00

This will speed up proposal?? HONEY NO

caffeine_inmyveins · 2022-01-23T05:58:53+00:00

Meanwhile some of my friends had engagement rings that were thoughtfully designed by their partners with stories behind each gemstone and design. The proposal is thoughtfully planned as well. One even had a instagram page detailing the progress as he went along (to show her when she agrees to marry him). I just thought it was so sweet!

BlueJeanMistress · 2022-01-22T21:01:11+00:00

They’ve been together six years by the way. Your wedding ring/engagement ring is something you will wear forever. Don’t lower your standards!

Aht-Aht-Aht-Scrote · 2022-01-22T21:09:13+00:00

I’d rather die alone than to not only keep bringing up a proposal to a man I’ve been w for 6 years but to lower my standards and expectations for a ring in HOPES that he’ll finally feel it’s worthwhile to propose. I live for the day that women stop pouring years of effort into LVM. If he wanted to, he would.

lvrcalii · 2022-01-22T21:33:47+00:00

Ugh. I just heard how some acquaintances are "kinda engaged". They have been together 6 years and her grandma is dying and wants her to be married first. He didn't even propose, they just came to some kind of agreement. The male who told me this got really pouty when I said "a man who doesn't propose before this isn't sure". I feel kinda bad, but also know I'm right.

Elena1684 · 2022-01-22T21:19:58+00:00

I did something similar and got my stbxh to propose after 18 months. It was downhill from there. I learned the hard way that if you have to manipulate anyone to stay in your life you will pay dearly for it.

apommom · 2022-01-22T21:07:45+00:00

Two out of her three reasons are the same... to remind him to propose. For some reason I get the feeling this isn’t going to happen for her.

ennu_i_sao · 2022-01-23T03:42:20+00:00

Men will literally play dumb and get you the ring but not actually propose marriage and say “well you asked for a ring on it… duh how was I supposed to know?”. Or they’ll buy you a ring, plan to eventually marry you after 7 years of dating but still remind you they don’t believe in marriage and just want to live together and not be legally tied to you.

randomgirlimok · 2022-01-22T22:23:35+00:00

I got married and it turned out he had gotten a loan for the ring and it had a $250 mo payment. So I ended up paying for my own ring in the end…

Platipus6 · 2022-01-22T22:58:43+00:00

Sit back and enjoy crumbs.

He knows you're completely invested and not going to leave, why would he put MORE effort in? You're doing just fine with the no effort.

LevellingUpTime · 2022-01-23T03:23:56+00:00

These women think it's just a financial thing holding these men back. It's not. Well, it is a little bit but that's because he absolutely doesn't want to spend any amount of money on a ring. An expensive ring that's for her pleasure and not his? Forget it.

He'll say he can't afford it yet, he'll say wait a little longer until he gets that promotion... but you can bet he can scrape together $5,000+ in an instant for a new gaming rig or the latest console or a snowboarding trip with the boys

europoor24 · 2022-01-22T21:05:36+00:00

lowering your standards and putting said money towards better things doesn't make him respect you more.

the-worst- · 2022-01-23T07:46:14+00:00

This reminds me of how a man in my hometown promised his girlfriend that they would marry the day a train that had been still on the tracks for years moved.

Guess what? It moved. And he never even proposed.

purasangria · 2022-01-22T21:28:17+00:00

Oh, fuck this. First, if you have to ask, demand, threaten, or give an ultimatum, then he's not the one.

Second, if he can't afford a real diamond ring (if that's what you want) then he's not the one.

ShieldMaidenLagertha · 2022-01-22T23:56:09+00:00

I have secondhand embarrassment. Imagine marking yourself down at a discount…

xfelugirlx · 2022-01-23T00:41:46+00:00

Imagine having to beg so someone propose, girl that’s sad AF

Hour_Sleep_8481 · 2022-01-22T21:22:27+00:00

This just hurts my heart.

the_dreamwitch · 2022-01-22T21:49:21+00:00

“Sit back and enjoy the ride” - what? Sis, get out. That ring is never coming.

leekykeeks · 2022-01-23T00:12:10+00:00

All this for a potentially useless husband. Sounds like a 50/50 chick. Next thing you know, she's going halfsies on the ring to "speed up the process". She played herself.

2022-01-22T21:38:21+00:00

Sad.... It's not about the ring at that point, he obviously is going to see this as desperate. I used to be in poverty so I get it, but at the same time $1,000 is not a lot of money. What is that going to buy you, 5 days of hotel vacation? Not even airfare and rental car. He needs to be making money not making memories LMAO Maybe the reason he got excited is because he's a broke ass and he's going to spend the $1,000 on something else like a f****** video game console and now he knows he has a wife who will ultimately lower her expectations for him

extraodi · 2022-01-22T23:50:31+00:00

If he wanted to he would. The only person who should figure out the finances for a ring to make it work is the man who is proposing.

hopeful_flounder93 · 2022-01-22T22:50:39+00:00

This is pathetic

glossiglam · 2022-01-22T23:24:16+00:00

Embarrassing

Jaelismyhomegirl · 2022-01-23T17:48:18+00:00

Sis, it’s not the price. If he wanted to, he would.

JulyParade · 2022-01-22T23:52:19+00:00

She's only delaying her dreams by staying with this guy. Faster to find someone who wants to be with her. And can you imagine the hellish marriage? Guys like this cheat because she's "nagging" him.

herbivorouscarnivore · 2022-01-23T01:31:05+00:00

The other day, I learned that you can save thousands of dollars by going down .1: .9 instead of 1 carat, 1.9 instead of 2 carats, etc. Visually, you can’t tell the difference.

That said, he doesn’t want to marry her. If he did, she wouldn’t be waiting. I hope she sees the light soon and leaves.

VesperLynd- · 2022-01-22T21:50:53+00:00

Yeah this isn’t going to happen until she gets the idea to propose herself. Did they not talk about this before? You should be on the same page about marriage and the timeframe when it happens. The ring as well. The actual proposal should be a surprise but it sounds like she isn’t quite sure he wants to marry her? And he sounds hesitant in his response. Lowering your standards isnt the answer here

sikulet · 2022-01-23T15:29:00+00:00

I’d like to pose an alternative POV here.

In asia it’s not so much about the engagement ring, it’s more of the wedding being the cost covered by the groom / his family. So there might be no engagement ring per se but there are other significant purchases towards making the engagement a firm commitment within a short time table (Getting married Within a year of the proposal) like the guy putting down payment for the wedding celebration + house.

Those things I don’t see in western dating. It’s like you don’t get a ring and you’re a gold digger for expecting a man to come into a marriage with his finances in order. Lol

StrawberryMoon3 · 2022-01-22T23:49:35+00:00

She really has no game.

Ok_Passenger_5717 · 2022-01-23T18:13:22+00:00

This is sad.

Title	Ladies please don’t do this. You deserve your dream ring!
Author	BlueJeanMistress
Upvotes	233
Comments	63
Date	January 22, 2022 8:59 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/sabzv2/ladies_please_dont_do_this_you_deserve_your_dream/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/ladies-please-dont-do-this-you-deserve-your-dream.1098153 https://theredarchive.com/post/1098153

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