They’re telling her it’s “just a game”

TW: Assault, sexual violence

From relationship advice:

“I caught my boyfriend with a sick game and I think I’m going to end it

“I 18F was hanging out with my boyfriend 18M yesterday and I noticed this game called ‘Kidnapped girl’ on his laptop and I asked him about it. He lied to me and told me it was a game-share game he never played, so i asked to open it because I thought it would be funny to make fun of his friend for downloading it if it was weird. He got sketchy and eventually admitted he was the one who downloaded it and played it. I watched a play through when I got home and it made me want to vomit. If you haven’t heard of the game the jist is the guy kidnaps a girl by drugging her with sleeping pills a to torture and sexually assault her. He finds out she’s abused at home and she asks to be kidnapped and its just so disgusting and concerning because he’s made comments about giving me sleeping pills before as a fantasy which at the time I wasn’t so alarmed by, everyone has fantasies. But I cant help but draw parallels to this girl and me, starting with being sexually mistreated by family members as a child to similar looks at points in my life. Ive expressed my disgust to him and told him I don’t think I can get past this but he keeps begging me not to go. All i can think of is that while I was learning how to make his favorite desert for his upcoming birthday, he was doing something like this. Any advice would be appreciated!

(This is a two year relationship) P.S im writing this on my phone so sorry for formatting!

“Edit: to clarify we have talked about bdsm, and in a consenting situation im down; something about this game was more off to me than we had talked about, its also the lying about it is a big boundary for me and he’s done it before, this is the third time it’s happened (not specifically games but lying about important stuff involving breaking the boundaries of our relationship. The game was more disturbing than anything to me. I have no problem with people having non-con kinks. This just toed the line beyond that for me.

“Edit 2: Im not afraid that he is going to drug me out of nowhere, i might have agreed to the sleeping pill thing before this because he had worded it as he wanted to have sex while I was asleep. This made me see it might not have been all he would’ve done and that’s what terrifies me.”

She is acting like the fact that he lied is a bigger offense than him playing this despicable game. People are telling her it’s just a game and to overreact. WTF! A game about drugging and women is okay in this society?!!! “Just communicate” they say.

I’m so scared for her.