We absolutely are being bullied into having zero standards

straightouttashtetl · 2021-05-19T17:12:57+00:00

Scrotes want the traditional woman and romanticise the 1950s compliant housewife, yet they neglect to acknowledge that women of those times were hypergamous for all the right reasons.

Dating multiple men without sleeping with them, having and applying the highest possible standards like their lives depended on it because, well, it does, and choosing to go steady with the most financially, best looking and secure one they are paired with, are all logical reasons. You do not want children with a bum.

They want us to go full trad doormat while only picking and choosing which bits of that work for them. If they want beautiful, high maintenance women with standards, they can match us or go. We refuse to be brow beaten into settling for clownery.

This is why I suggest to all the girls and women in my life that if a man uses memes or reddit for most of his punchlines, avoid. He will browbeat and bully you into having no standards.

slayeroftruth · 2021-05-19T19:37:41+00:00

Women do demand less. You know how I know. The traditional women in my family told me voluntarily to never be with man who takes you on cheap dates, make sure he has ambitions, pay close attention to his behavior and warning sings, have him meet your family so we can vet, don't stay with abusive men they never change, don't pay for date (if they except something you don't want to do decline. if he is pushy then dump him), don't stay with someone you don't like, be picky ect. I have promised myself I was going to be picky anyway. I listened to what they had to say.

If men would stop being such entitled whiners they would shape up, work on themselves and treat women well. They talk about wanting 50's women. These women would think they are whiny losers and would never think to touch them with ten foot pole.

My maternal grandma juggles several men. I know by how she dated after grandpa died. The story family has told of Grandpa getting mad at man never made sense until I saw her juggle guys. She juggled guys then picked best one the first and second time.

Angrboda229 · 2021-05-19T20:02:19+00:00

I responded to a comment on a YouTube that said "I love when women take care of themselves..." to which I responded: "it would be nice if men did the same, women don't want to touch men who don't moisturize/shower, don't exfoliate or who don't shave at the very minimum". Some scrote responded to me that "it's women's fault for accepting these kinds of men. Men just do what we think attracts women. Women should speak up just like men do for preferences" 🤣 As if man stank has ever attracted a woman.

So yes, we are bullied for requesting men have basic hygiene in addition to the issues stated in the post above and we are blamed for a man's inability to wash his own as*

eatchickpeas · 2021-05-19T18:24:01+00:00

there is this rise of women who are now taking on all the household responsibilities and bills. the men work, they meet a woman and they get married. hes well behaved throughout, works hard, pays the bills, might even do a chore or two a fortnight then when the woman has a child the man decides hes also a child. he will demand 100% of the womans attention before, during and after childbirth

he will still expect her TO COOK FOR HIM even though shes busy dealing with the aftermath of pregnancy on her body. the man loses his job and now becomes bitter and lazy. the woman keeps the house going because she wants the best for her child and the man relies on that to stay where he is

donttextme_k · 2021-05-19T19:44:37+00:00

Then they bully you for having no standards 😐

CandidKick · 2021-05-20T01:18:44+00:00

Not to mention women being the primary caregivers for the children while the husband only contributes now and then by enforcing misogyny on his children.

4BigData · 2021-05-20T02:00:50+00:00

The best way IMHO to have a relationship with a man is by living in your own home, he lives in his, finances completely separate. That way women are safe because he doesn't financially benefit from killing you and your time doesn't go to waste doing his household chores.

Erinelda · 2021-05-19T17:31:40+00:00

This is true. The last "date offer" I had was when a guy asked for a coffee or a walk and I told him that I wasn't interested in low effort because I end up losing out on the deal in both time and money.

He didn't offer me something more fair and worth my time. He told me to show up without getting ready even if that makes me feel uncomfortable. I felt so much pressure to lower myself because they seem to be all like him now.. I don't like pressure 🚮

BxGyrl416 · 2021-05-19T20:43:49+00:00

This is an interesting take. I’m not sure if I’m 100% on board, but many of the points resonate. It’s kind of like women from past generations didn’t have much of a choice but to marry, have children, and tend house. Now, on the surface, women have more choices and options but must expect less in return under the guise of being seen as “equal.”

You know what? Nix that – I mostly agree here.

Chicahua · 2021-05-19T17:38:40+00:00

This!!! Women having standards is disparaged in the media and internet, standards mean we’re shallow, gold diggers, needy, nagging, demanding, etc. Meanwhile men can expect almost immediate sex and attention from women without getting any flak for it. Because ultimately not being pursued romantically and cared for and married is “liberating”.

SayNad · 2021-05-20T05:58:20+00:00

Yep, this is my issue with modern dating - why in the damn hell that women agree to go 50/50 on dates just so that the man won't demand sex after??? How does that even work?? Since when do we owe men our own body just because they decide they want to pursue us?

Sisters especially the young ones, we don't owe anyone anything, definitely not our body just because some scrotes do something nice for the evening. Hell even if he bought you a goddamn yacht, you still owe him NOTHING. Not your body, ever.

YOU ARE NOT A VENDING MACHINE WHERE SCROTE PUT NICE TOKEN IN AND THEY GET SEX OUT.

You and only you can decide when you want get intimate with someone, not because you feel like you owe them.

So what do you do when a guy take you out and pays for everything? Smile, enjoy the evening, and say thank you. If he expect something after that and coerce you into sex or even a kiss - BLOCK AND DELETE IMMEDIATELY. That's a glaring red flag.

And I know this is hard to believe, but a HVM wouldn't expect you to "pay him back" in any form after paying for your time and presence - he knows that those are the thing he needs to do to get to know you. Please believe when FDS says that your presence is all you need to "bring to the table", because when a HVM asks you out on a date, he already knows you are worth the effort and his ego is satisfied by making you happy on the date.

If you feel like you need to go 50/50 just so that the person wouldn't coerce you into sex later - you shouldn't even go to that date, period. Or do the good ol' bathroom excuse and ghost him.

You don't owe anybody anything just because they decide they want to be nice to you.

cakeandtart · 2021-05-19T22:25:02+00:00

I'm so thankful that I was raised differently. BIG UPS to my mom for teaching me that I should absolutely expect my man to treat me, pay for me, take care of me, and be an equal partner in life/household/childrearing. It paid off because I married an awesome HVM and we have an excellent life where both of us are happy and spoil each other in various ways (I like girly gifts, he likes good food).

Ladies. Raise your daughters to have standards. We need to fight against the Pick Me culture and misogyny which is forcing so many women to accept worse and worse treatment. Men talk soooooo much about wishing women behaved like they did in the 1950s, but fail to realize that women in the 1950s had ten times higher standards than women now do. Back then you didn't even LOOK at a man if he didn't earn well.

FeelLikeRollinDice · 2021-05-20T01:32:43+00:00

An associate of mine found it ridiculous that I would refuse walk and coffee dates. When I explained to her how we went from dinner dates to now walking dates, she seemed to get a bit more, but still thought it was unreasonable. She said she prefers coffee/walk dates so she can leave quickly if she does not like the guy. I told her you can leave during a dinner; go to the bathroom and not come back. She said that would be mean.

suzy_ko · 2021-05-19T19:44:04+00:00

I’m actually happy thinking about never having to sleep with LVM again (that if none of them can prove themselves), however, sexual assault still looms if they don’t get their way and that fills me with dread. Feels like we cannot win.

CynicalSucculent · 2021-05-19T21:19:39+00:00

I commented on a tiktok about moving in w a boyfriend how I would never move in with a partner without marriage.

Cue hordes of scrotes and pickmeishas calling me old-fashioned, manipulative, crazy, stupid, etc. Accusing me of promoting a conservative agenda, all the like.

All because I simply stated a preference.

All because I don't want to be trapped as a MommyMcBangmaid.

jupitaur9 · 2021-05-19T22:04:11+00:00

If it’s just a piece of paper, why is he afraid?

frostedgemstone · 2021-05-20T07:25:58+00:00

I can’t think of one standard women aren’t shamed for nowadays. I would say the bare minimum that is universally agreed upon is the man being nice to her, but never mind because even then it’s still the woman’s fault for nOt CoMmUnIcAtInG

Jaelismyhomegirl · 2021-05-19T23:00:40+00:00

When i was younger, I always wondered why beautiful, intelligent black women with good jobs were expected to settle for absolutely useless men. I remember thinking “but you can do so much better!”

Emergency-Feed8216 · 2021-05-20T06:27:59+00:00

I sometimes see women bragging that the guy pays for everything but otherwise she'll set the bar in hell for everything else like fidelity, honesty, respect, basic health, human decency, etc.

Paying for dates is supposed to be entry level. Important but not meant as compensation for eating shit the rest of the time. It's only the lack of substance that makes the act of a man paying for dates transactional.

gigababejfl_ · 2021-05-19T21:12:37+00:00

Flawless point. What I am not understanding is all the women playing pick me and acting like this is okay.

If you show a man a whole pie and tell him he only gets 1/4th and that's equal, he will die on a hill about how unfair it is.

Now I don't expect fairness from men but women seeing these points and acting like they don't get it is beyond me. I wouldn't care either except braindead people will look at something silly some next woman said and think it represents us all. It's not like we get as individual persons like white men do (like how they go off on another shooting spree and it's his individual 'mental illness' but someone else it's "those people are bad)

mcgee1213 · 2021-05-19T18:24:49+00:00

I am saving this for future use. The gap between what women are getting out of relationships with men versus what men are getting out of relationships with women has only widened over the decades.

Seriously, what are people getting out of this?

BxGyrl416 · 2021-05-19T20:53:30+00:00

I’m so seeing so many educated women with decent jobs who have these guys who call themselves artists or musicians or whatever the term du jour is. They pay for almost everything, the dude makes it clear from day one that he isn’t trying to be in a committed relationship. They have sex with a guy on the first date, if you could even call it a date. I don’t get it. Is being alone worse than being with somebody who sees you as a commodity or doesn’t value at all as a person? What are they getting out of this?

xsweaterxweatherx · 2021-05-19T20:33:47+00:00

This is the sole reason I joined this sub after hearing that you’re “femcels” and worse. Because I was made to feel like a frigid bitch for not wanting to date homeless drug addicts. God forbid I say I want to date someone that at least has a bachelor’s degree or is obtaining it (I’ll have a master’s this time next year), or someone that doesn’t have a hentai tentacle fetish.

Elegant-Emergency-60 · 2021-05-19T21:16:58+00:00

Exactly. I think Scrotes are quick to panic and say ‘gold digger!’ if we show even a slight concern over a potential partner’s financial situation. They make the mistake thinking it’s something materialistic or greedy when in reality it’s really about ‘will my union with this person make my life more difficult or not?’ Unfortunately, finances are a big part of this.

I think all of us have been burned before by men who have no drive who just want to use us for our paychecks and stability so they don’t need to apply themselves. AKA they want a ‘mommy’.

Financial income isn’t the end all be all of someone’s ambitions but if someone is underemployed and isn’t working out a plan for the future or trying to get ahead then I don’t think it’s a good idea to date them. Because if they approach something as important like financial security then you shouldn’t expect them to approach your relationship like that.

I also will say the same thing about a guy who might have a good job/finances but has a high record of being fired.

The sad thing is if we described all the shit LV/NV men put us through but flip the genders around the scrotes would be on our sides. They only disagree because we’re women and they feel entitled to us no matter what situation they are in.

BungalowBootieBitch · 2021-05-20T00:25:39+00:00

I definitely think part of the problem, at least from my experience, was the rise of the "not like other girls" phase aka the cool girl phase. I know I'm not pretty by conventional beauty standards so I lowered my dating standards and tried to look "kewl" smh. That's how I ended up with an angry, weed dependent ex. Then of course the introduction of liberal feminism in the 2010s warped my idea of what equality was. That's how I ended up paying for dinner dates, my ex's weed, rent, and gas (I was doing some real 🤡 shit). The good thing is that FDS does exist lol. It's certainly a battle to teach the idea of having high standards (and other FDS lessons). So far I think the best method is just to lead by example. Also, just protecting the frick out of women.

NobodyGrouchy2077 · 2021-05-19T18:36:45+00:00

Omfg... You're not wrong. And it seems.... normalized, integrated. Weird

CrazyPaine · 2021-05-19T23:22:35+00:00

Yoo they just told on themselves.

AineofTheWoods · 2021-05-20T00:53:18+00:00

I don't know about the 'especially black women' bit because I'm white and I feel this 100%, I was just talking about this to several of my friends this week, about how it seems women are now meant to chase men, women are meant to compete for male attention, women are meant to bring not only looks, youth and health to a relationship but also skills, resources, a career, housing etc. It's quite frankly, exhausting and depressing. I miss the days when men actually wanted to buy us a drink or a meal to show that they were genuine and serious about us. I miss the days when I didn't feel like I was competing with 1000 women 15 years my junior for the attentions of one mediocre, apathetic, not particularly attractive himself man who is my age but who would prefer to date a 20 year old. It's like we currently have the worst of both worlds, a definite backlash from men in response to feminism. In the past women had way fewer rights, but we often weren't expected to work if married, and a house could be bought on one salary. Although women back then were often domestic slaves, they weren't also wage slaves at the same time.

mcvvt · 2021-05-19T21:27:58+00:00

Amen!

T1n4__ · 2021-05-19T22:07:50+00:00

Damn, I’m speechless — Very well said!👏🏼

Title	We absolutely are being bullied into having zero standards
Author	vanillahcupcakes
Upvotes	2374
Comments	97
Date	May 19, 2021 4:25 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/nga9bg/we_absolutely_are_being_bullied_into_having_zero/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/we-absolutely-are-being-bullied-into-having-zero.754231 https://theredarchive.com/post/754231

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