Hookup culture is a scam

sofiacarolina · 2021-11-08T14:44:37+00:00

The problem is so many women are in denial about how unfulfilling and even traumatizing hookup culture/casual sex is. They won’t be honest with themselves about it and just keep engaging in it on autopilot, blaming themselves when things don’t work out (bc most are seeking relationships while operating within the confines and practices of hookup culture which aren’t conducive to forming relationships/bonds). And reflecting and realizing that this is what the majority of men want, to use your body as a fleshlight, and how they see us, would be too painful for many. They’d rather keep living in denial and convince themselves they’re sexually empowered, this is their choice, and with enough practice maybe they’ll be able to have sex like men, no strings attached and with emotional detachment.

I stopped having casual sex 2.5 years ago bc I recognized it was self harm. I always saw these men as potential SOs that in my delusion I thought would escalate their interest in me after sex, not realizing that sex was all they wanted and once they got that they’d be out. Meanwhile, I would become attached to every guy I had sex with because I’m a human being, we’d been ‘talking’ for a bit (building intimacy for me, manipulating me into eventual sex for them) and it’s an intimate act. I’d be left ghosted and endure a mini mental breakdown every time. Benefits: none. Cost: potential physical danger, lack of sexual satisfaction, emotional trauma, potential sexual trauma due to the depraved porn sickness that pervades popular sexual practices, time wasted.

charikloinleo · 2021-11-08T14:27:46+00:00

7 out of ten times was generous

SakuraGirl88 · 2021-11-08T15:19:54+00:00

It is a scam. And it doesn't benefit women at all. And the media, libfems, etc will sit there and tell young women that this mess is "empowering" and that women should be able to do what they want. We have a lot more to lose with hookup culture. And we've been so conditioned to believe that sex is only about the man's pleasure. And don't get me started on the fact that you'll still be slut shamed and dragged by LVM for basically doing the same thing they're doing. And who wants to keep having bad sex all the time 🤷🏽‍♀️. I hope this generation wakes up.

Juunbuug · 2021-11-08T15:11:43+00:00

Yes yes yes! Echoing with a lot of what you're saying... one of the few times I hooked up with a complete stranger was not fun. We ended up at his place, which was atrocious - messy bed sheet, unwashed plates and dishes - dude didn't even bother to turn the light on, probably not wanting to expose the messiness. I wish I had told him it grossed me out and stopped right then and there, but the "cOoL girl" hat was too tight to take off. At the end, he was like, "look, you're not my type, so I don't want to ask your number, but maybe we can connect on Facebook?" From that point on, I stopped hooking up, just because the act of it was de-humanizing, deprived what sex was supposed to be, and full of negative physical and mental repercussions.

I was watching Bachelor in Paradise the other day. It broke my heart to see that girls felt like they had to throw themselves at the men there otherwise those men would be "snatched away". One of the girl contestants cried to one of the guys, "I even slept with you so you wouldn't look away!!!" I just.... felt bad and just really wouldn't want younger girls to see that behavior and model after that, you know? Cuz this isn't right.

herbivorouscarnivore · 2021-11-08T18:17:11+00:00

When “sex-positivity for women” first gained traction, my dad said, “That’s BS. There’s a double standard and women are left holding the short end of the stick. Men will use this as an excuse to take advantage of women!”

And I rolled my eyes because clearly my dad was out of touch. Clearly.

(Sorry, Dad! You were always right…)

Live-Werk-Pose · 2021-11-08T14:36:04+00:00

It is a fucking scam. I’ve never been so happy to be celibate over a year and I have a high sex drive! But when I think about the “hookups” I’ve had, my body shuts down in disgust. I haven’t even had very many, but you can assume how an encounter would go with someone who doesn’t know you or have any emotional ties with you whatsoever. Maybe (and that’s a big maybe) they could be skilled in bed but the lack of any connection whatsoever makes you feel like you’re a robot on autopilot. Not to mention the guys who brag a shit ton only to be smelly and terrible in bed. 🤮 The best sex I’ve gotten was in actual relationships and even those are a turn off for me now because not every guy is even relationship material. And if you seem like you are, I need to vet you first. The benefit of resigning from sex for a while is it’s made me take a look at how I’ve seen myself and treated myself in that context before. Now I’m way less likely to feel paranoid if my hair doesn’t look “perfect” and if the guy might notice a scar or a stretch mark, or whatever. Also I’m done with putting on a performance even though I’m getting nothing out of it. You don’t like it? Don’t fuck me. Someone else will (including myself and I’ll do it better). Bye!

Edit: Spelling

feministcutie · 2021-11-08T17:18:34+00:00

I feel like we went really backwards as a society. Like at first it was "premarital sex is bad and you're a whore if you do it" to "casual sex is so fun and you should do it if not you're a prude." Like, I'm pretty sure the first one stemmed from misogynistic cultures where ""honor"" killing and slut-shaming was prevalent in their society. But somehow men are now twisting the narrative and now if you don't put out you're apparently harming them and somehow are the cause of incels. Like, women just can never catch a break huh?

It honestly feels like they just flip-flop sex to whatever they want. It always benefits them and not women. At first they say you should only give your virginity to your husband and now they can't even be bothered to marry a woman and they just want casual sex so now being a virgin is seen as a badge of shame. I'm so tired of it. They really just want it to only benefit themselves, they don't care about women.

theflameinthewind · 2021-11-08T14:53:32+00:00

Casual sex is self harm.

brylm92 · 2021-11-08T15:09:46+00:00

I now realize I once used casual sex as a form of self harm (had to get disgustingly drunk to do it, though) and several years later I still get random highly traumatic flashbacks from those "empowering, hot, fun" times I let men act out porn fantasies on my body. At the time I genuinely thought I was being fun cool girl and it was no big deal.

Biggest scam.

PrivyPal · 2021-11-08T13:52:17+00:00

This is so true! On all fronts.

It's so saddening to see magazines that have a substantial influence on young girls abuse their power to make them pickmeisha's and make sure the next generation of NVM/LVM have disillusioned girls who'll accept their crappy behaviour thinking it's the norm.

functional_feline · 2021-11-08T14:11:06+00:00

The state of casual sex is so f-ing awful. When did it get so bad?!?
I was in a monogamous relationship for 10 years and somewhere in that time sex went from something two people did together to a weird choreographed set of events that solely revolves around getting a guy to cum.

Half the time a guy can’t even get it up unless they’re acting out some disrespect and derogatory fantasies.
Its god awful depressing.

Zurflu · 2021-11-08T15:17:59+00:00

Media barely even talk about women's actual sex lives unless they're fucking for money.

LITERALLY THOUGH. Why do we get so much shit about normalizing "sex work" shoved down our throats from every direction but no one gives a fuck what women actually want WITHOUT having to be paid or coerced? Can we normalize NOT being paid or groomed into having sex instead? And why are sex workers considered by these media sites to be the highest authorities or "experts" on sex when they don't even get to have a sexuality of their own? I don't care what a sex worker thinks a healthy sexuality should look like, sorry but why would I? You wouldn't ask someone who eats fast food every meal for nutrition advice, why ask someone who sells anonymous men $5 pics of their butthole about female sexuality?

ExistentialJelly · 2021-11-08T18:19:47+00:00

Movies: here is a movie about an intelligent, powerful, highly skilled woman as the lead. For representation of women and women empowerment!

Women: oh cool!

Movies: she is highly skilled in martial arts and takes down elite mob members. She is wealthy by her own right, in great shape, and beautiful.

Women: nice!

Movies: She sleeps with some random stock exchange guy at the bar with a pencil neck, poorly fitted suit, and no charm whatsoever, but his one almost joke gets her moist.

Women:.....

They always have to slip in some hook up.

Ok-Yogurtcloset3467 · 2021-11-08T14:40:26+00:00

The younger generation are having less and less sex. But they keep trying to brainwash young women into hooking up with any and everything by pushing the narrative that there is a whole sex crazed movement going on and you're the only one not involved.

Its sold as liberating and the peak of femininity when it's anything but. Its a shame so many women have to try it out before they realise all it leaves you with is dissatisfaction and low self esteem.

I tried it once and I still feel disappointed with myself.

heather80 · 2021-11-08T16:20:50+00:00

So true, and it goes double for the latest “You’re just my sneaky link” videos I keep seeing on tiktok. Oh yes, sis, you give him free sex with no commitment, and he’s the one getting the bad end of the bargain? No.

Far_from_deceived · 2021-11-08T13:56:51+00:00

Women have to boycott hook up culture. It only benefits men.

I can cope with not having sex for a long time instead of having my body used like a disposable sex toy by a man that offers nothing but shame and trauma in return.

For the lurkers out there: I prefer my vibrator than having to deal with your horrible sex. You are useless.

annrike1 · 2021-11-08T14:11:24+00:00

I never had casual sex and in my teens and early twenties are thaught I am not living my life.

Now I am just glad I didn't, I just have to take a look at what men find arousing. Turns me off for several month.

stickysoups · 2021-11-08T14:29:24+00:00

My vibrator died this weekend and I simply...got a new one. It’s so easy and stress-free, fulfilling my own needs :)

ironglaciers · 2021-11-08T14:35:10+00:00

Liberal feminism has only benefitted men.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2021-11-08T14:52:09+00:00

This is completely true. And I got taken in when I was younger.

peacockstrutt · 2021-11-08T15:41:19+00:00

Are women out there fucking or are we getting fucked? Men are severely lacking insight into why they're not getting girlfriends or sex, because it's all risk for us and no reward. Hookups don't supply women anything except trauma. They want to "cum on our pretty faces" and we're supposed to feel grateful he called us 'pretty'. I'm going back to 1950's mentality - abstinence until marriage. I don't even care if I'm single for the rest of my life, it's better than being used and abused!

ironglaciers · 2021-11-08T16:01:24+00:00

I love this fucking post.

Davina33 · 2021-11-08T18:52:51+00:00

Such truth! Knowing you can be shagged at any moment by some random man is not flattering and nothing to be happy about. My body is precious and I'm very selective who I share it with. I remember reading magazines like Cosmopolitan when I was a young teen in the late 90s. So many articles by PickMes focusing on giving men sexual pleasure. No thanks, I'm not just three holes on legs.

Oh to the scrote that replied to me, I don't give a fuck how old I am. Unlike you, there's more to my life than attracting a partner to shag. I bet I'm way better looking than you anyway because I look after myself. So piss off.

frostedgemstone · 2021-11-08T20:44:08+00:00

I am seeing a shift in culture. I think libfem is actually starting to lose its way. And I think is why you hear young men are having less sex than ever. It’s not enough for men to just exist anymore like most of human history they have to add value to a woman’s life, which is an impossible task for most of them

inlovewithaloser · 2021-11-08T21:01:48+00:00

Everything is set up against us, and women more women need to wake the f up. It’s at an alarm point, at this point. Because the END GOAL of all of this societal programming and pushing, is to groom us in to being public property sex dolls for men. Period. The programming is especially pushed heavily on young women, the 18-21 crowd. As soon as you are legal they are dying for you to do Playboy or something. “Show us, show us!”

See how women’s bodies are constantly paraded. Snapchat news section is always something like “____ bares all!” Or “____ dazzles in a micro bikini!” Like what the fuck, this is clearly a society that is catering to men and men only. You don’t get articles saying those things about men. Our bodies are told as being the only way we have worth— not our minds, not our dreams, not our souls. I think there was even a subreddit now that has popped up that says women are things, who have no right to have an individuality. Like, WHAT. They literally believe that.

Women’s bodies are not our own, they are seen as public property by people. We need to take back our power by becoming our own private owners and not even the RedPill Trad ideal of hiding behind the man..... damn.

This is all so fucking deep and for what. It’s crazy being a woman, I swear to God. So much propaganda and bullshit against us.

And just like they’re saying, nobody is even asking us if we’re enjoying it.

blazing_zephyr · 2021-11-08T15:11:11+00:00

Women don’t nut 7/10 times?? More like 9.98/10 times

CroneRaisedMaiden · 2021-11-08T18:26:18+00:00

Until I realized I was in fact forming emotional connections and then further realized that those connections were normal and human—I had a bad time

brgbackBachCan · 2021-11-08T18:44:23+00:00

When the interaction is less than an hour and you don't even cum but then you spend the next week wondering if he'll text, feeling sad, occasionally thinking about what he'd be like as a boyfriend, feeling worthless and unappreciated and used...not worth it.

pinkcityscape · 2021-11-08T19:12:47+00:00

I’m abstinent and never engaged in casual sex but I remember how it affected some of my girlfriends (some were even in serious relationships albeit abusive). Observing them was enough to know I made the right choice. I just wish the sexual empowerment movement for women didn’t center men and their wants and needs. Countless courses, articles and podcasts about how women can improve their sex game and pleasure their men. The grooming and glamorization of OF is also so dangerous especially for impressionable teenagers (both boys and girls tbh). This whole era of sex and intense internet culture is vicious and if you don’t engage in any of that (which a lot of young women don’t), the media makes out that there is something inherently wrong with you. It’s so bizarre.

Women know this shit isn’t right and it’s harmful why do they keep ignoring their intuition?

pukubr · 2021-11-08T19:24:04+00:00

I feel like casual sex has gone too far, and sexual liberation was originally supposed to mean "if you like him and he likes you you guys shouldn't have to wait till marriage to sleep together!" and I think that kind of liberation is healthy, but men trying to sleep with as many women as possible, incels feeling entitled to use women for sex, or only expecting sex out of a man and seeking none of the other personality traits is the problem. I'm sure porn and media has to do with a lot of the problems with hookup culture.

The comment on prostitution is so spot on. The way some men speak, I just think, "if all you want out of me is a warm body why don't you use a prostitute then" of course one might say it's something about the thrill of wearing down a gentlewoman 🙄 but actually I think its they can't admit they actually do want a girlfriend and all the emotional bonuses that entails, yet the most they're willing to offer in return is treating her like a prostitute / object.

LeastInjury8081 · 2021-11-08T16:13:56+00:00

When I got out of a very long eventually sexless relationship I was not averse to sex outside of a long term committed relationship-went for it with a guy I’d been dating for a good few months. I was ok or prepared for sex with someone who did not want a longer term commitment. What I was NOT prepared for is just how little regard men seem to have for the basic humanity of sexual partners outwith long term relationships. I would go so far as to say domination, degradation and attempts to deceive seem to be part of the fun of more casual sex for a lot of men. It’s so creepy and weird!

In essence the odds of trauma from deliberate nastiness, stealthing, unconsented or coercive sexual activities, or abortion are probably HIGHER than the odds of orgasm for a straight woman with sex outwith a long term relationship. That’s what makes it not worth it. I don’t even think this is case for gay women- it’s men who make the casual sex not worth it! Hopefully the message is spreading amongst the young

2021-11-08T17:03:43+00:00

Unfiltered male sexuality is a brutal force of nature. You see this all over the animal kingdom, and human beings are no different.

One of the main forces that restrains this is female scarcity and female independent choice. Male bower birds must spend years of their lives building intricate sculptures of sticks and shiny baubles and perform dances to attract a mate, and many never succeed. Females of the species spend a lot of time flying from male nest to male nest, observing her options and showing him that she is present, but remaining out of his reach. The successful male bird learns from failed attempts by catering more to the female’s preferences. Female birds who have mated with the best males come back to them next year and spend less time observing the lesser males.

In other words, better he behaves from the female perspective, the more likely he is to achieve his goal. Females are scarce and choosy from his perspective, and he doesn’t get what he wants until he consistently reaches a standard of behavior. When he achieves that standard, not only does he get to mate but she is more likely to come back again.

This is how it should be for us.

Hookup culture tells you to behave in the opposite way: have sex more often than you would like to have it, and with more men, in more brutal ways, and expect less pleasure. Instead of evaluating men to determine if they reach standard, hope they will elevate to standard in exchange for sex.

Fuck that.

eveninghope · 2021-11-08T17:17:50+00:00

I completely disagree. I usually don't nut 8.5/10 times.

sleepysiri · 2021-11-08T18:38:30+00:00

I just shake my head in dismay at all the young girls being influenced by this nonsense, knowing what kind of awful experiences await them because they want to fit in and be a “cool girl”!

longtimelurker8246 · 2021-11-08T19:41:39+00:00

This also makes me think about a tiktok I saw where the woman posting was talking about how pickmeishas think that one of their big selling points is how much they do in bed. Not even kinky stuff necessarily, but that they shame women who are happy to consistently do missionary instead of doing a bunch of different positions that involve a lot of effort for the woman.

The creator pointed out (and I agree) that if you are having sex with your partner who cares about you, you don’t need to any of that stuff for him to still be kind, caring, committed, and attracted to you. It’s actually more of a flex to be able to say that you don’t have to do gymnastics and put on a whole performance in order to get your partner to continue to be interested in you/your sex life.

peaches88888 · 2021-11-08T16:10:34+00:00

Women intuitively know it doesn’t feel right, and this is why the media has to push it so hard. Our womb is always speaking to us. Protect her at all costs.

BasieSkanks · 2021-11-08T21:23:49+00:00

You know that casual sex is a scam when the people who are encouraging you to partake in it, both men and women, are having a shit time. It's like the emperor's new clothes - everyone knows casual sex is inferior in every way to sex with someone you know and love, but the 'casual sex is cool' crowd don't want to come out and say it. They are not fooling anyone anymore.

_cnz_ · 2021-11-08T23:16:39+00:00

I think hookup culture for women is more than just women seeking validation or suffering from low self esteem. I have a theory: I believe that over 90% women who actively engage in hookup culture are just experiencing trauma induced hypersexuality as a way to cope with previous typically sexual or emotional abuse. About 1 in 11 girls first sexual experience in the US was the result of sexual assault/coercion however these number seems to be greater or increasing as people get better access to sex education, for women of lower socioeconomic status, and for POC women. These young women, typically under the age of 18, become severely traumatized after and participate in hookup culture which peak usually during their teen years and 20s, but can last throughout their lives. The biggest group of women who trauma induced hypersexuality are college aged women who’s hyper sexuality gets exacerbated to due to increased social pressure to participate in hookup culture

Due to the rise of libfem logic and hookup culture of this time period, women are seeking "healing" through risky sexual practices, BDSM, or excessive porn consumption as an act of self harm. Less and less survivors are experiencing hyposexualily (no sexual desires as result of trauma) because of the media pushing hookup culture and pornographic images down the throats of the masses. Trauma induced hypersexuality is a common yet rarely researched response to sexual abuse and emotional abuse of all forms.

I've worked with trauma survivors and observed my friends for years to come to this conclusion. I also did a stint as a mod for one of the sexual violence subs here on Reddit as well and saw this daily. Once you experience major sexual trauma, you're more than 30 times more likely to experience it again. This is thought to be in part due to increase in hypersexuality behaviors like engaging in hookup culture and risky sex. I personally do not know any survivor who's been assaulted or abused just once. It's a huge public health issue that no one cares about despite it affecting so many young women and girls.

One a positive note, most likely forced personal reflection and isolation due to the pandemic, many survivors are finally seeking help for their trauma. I hope that this trend is here to stay we can reduce the number of women turning to hookup culture and LVM who will only abuse them further.

recoupest · 2021-11-08T16:28:43+00:00

Couldn’t have said it better myself. When that first negative feeling rises to the surface, just be able to recognise why and do yourself a favour to be done with it.

I entered into hookup culture thinking I was missing out and only gained bags and bags of more trauma and feelings of worthlessness to unpack and deal with, while men got their fun and satisfaction.

Our wombs are special, literal life mediums, we shouldn’t let any trash men in proximity to them.

modernmedusaa · 2021-11-09T00:26:29+00:00

Also it’s irresponsible, to push this idea you can have sex with endless people and nothing bad will happen, especially when it comes to women

STIs are massively played down by the health services no doubt to serve men’s sexual interests

Women tend to suffer worse longer STI symptoms than men and some can cause cancer or fertility issues

Be aware they won’t even test for cancer causing HPV or herpes (which makes you 3x more susceptible to HIV) unless you already have symptoms

Not to mention if you catch one of these, whether through casual sex or by a cheating longterm partner, you will be judged more harshly for it

Then there’s the risk of violence- realistically this increases the more you sleep around with men you barely know….because there are some men who treat women like wh*res to use & degrade & they will get violent or hostile if they don’t feel they’ve got what they want out of you

Not to mention if you’re sleeping with men fast 24/7 you’re not going to truly know whether they have a girlfriend/ who else they’re sleeping with…what they’re really like

Also the fact that women tend to have more of the bonding hormone oxytocin due to our ability to have kids…this is increased during sex & why so many women struggle to detach feelings during casual sex

BoxingChoirgal · 2021-11-08T17:06:04+00:00

I want to print this, Frame it, and give to both of my young adult daughters for Christmas. Brava.

Purple-Try8602 · 2021-11-08T17:47:33+00:00

My grandma once told me & my girlfriends “Men only want one thing” we shuddered and giggled and I was like “GRANDMA”!!! Grandma knew. ⏩20 years all of us would just be like “Duh”

MsXxSelfDestructxX · 2021-11-08T20:49:27+00:00

Lol been celibate a year. My favorite in the casual sex days was the guys that claim they are sex gods and every woman they've been with would cum from just their dick... most disappointing hook ups ever. Most of the time they don't even TRY... ladies, save yourself the wasted time.

10CatsInATrenchcoat · 2021-11-08T18:26:46+00:00

I try to be compassionate to past me for her terrible hookup culture mistakes. She didn't know any better and bought into the eMpOwErMeNt male-driven narrative.

Training myself to not equate male desire with self worth / value has been a multi-year journey. Years and years of brainwashing are so hard to unravel. I remember when I cut my hair short in my early 20s and my mother told me, "Oh no, no man wants a woman with short hair!" As if my body were only beautiful if it fit male consumption standards. I am beautiful regardless of whether a man is looking at me or not.

savvy888 · 2021-11-08T20:39:59+00:00

Speak the fuckin TRUTH!!!!!! Celibacy is the new hot!!!!

Obscureoblivion · 2021-11-09T04:26:24+00:00

I’m going to say it. Women and men hookup mainly for validation, or intimacy which is ultimately unfulfilled. As women we should not be rewarding these disgusting women hating men who only use us as a live flesh light. When we reward these men by acting as their flesh light we only hurt ourselves.

Kilogramedeganduri · 2021-11-08T18:05:25+00:00

I never had any casual hookups. Partially because I am not conventionaly attractive and I felt that you need a certain level of trust and you have to know the person to have a good time, and how can you have a good time when you're fumbling in the unknown. My sis had fwbs, casual hookups and they destroyed her (not that I had good relationships ...) Those hookups really messed with her self esteem because although she is pretty she felt unseen. Even now she still says that "they really don't see, the real me". It breaks my heart

cakewalkofshame · 2021-11-08T21:55:31+00:00

I'm one of those who can easily get off from (even pretty mediocre) sex and I still got to this point. Repulsed and tired of "living the dream" according to men. Casual sex takes me so far outside myself it's scary. I can't even bring myself to download ANY dating app now. It's just like...why. Even if the man is lonely existentially and wants my company as well as sex, its like...why am I wasting my precious time (my most valuable resource, even as a childfree woman) to mop up his fear of being alone with himself while he waits for his Perfect 10 Wifey to come along to be his new mother.

herbivorouscarnivore · 2021-11-08T17:50:05+00:00

Casual sex would be perfectly fine in a world where “girls will be girls” and “girls have needs” is as acceptable as their male counterparts.

There was a village - I think it was in one of the Asian countries? - where girls and women picked their husbands. They also had huts set up where they could have their trysts. Do you know why they stopped doing this? Because sh-t men from other countries found out and traveled to this remote area to r-pe the girls and women. The village didn’t shame the women, by the way: they admitted they had to stop to protect them because of the NV outsiders.

CrazyPaine · 2021-11-08T22:01:10+00:00

I don't like the hookup culture because I don't know if people are sexually healthy. As in sexually transmitted infections, hiding and having affairs with others and affecting other people. ||Smegma|| and not washing that area very well. I wanted to link this because this is important as well. https://www.health.state.mn.us/people/sexualhealth/characteristics.html

uhtobehonest · 2021-11-08T15:48:42+00:00

To me, casual sex is not fun. I don’t enjoy being with a multitude of men I don’t have a connection with. I would rather be with someone who knows me personally & cares about me and my pleasures. In college I had a friend who would hook up with someone every time we went to a party. I wanted to try it out so I would do that from time to time but got tired of it rather quickly. It was so awful. I’ve been celibate for almost two years and I’m so much happier! 😊

Oli_love90 · 2021-11-08T19:29:48+00:00

This is all so true. It just leaves you empty, extremely unsatisfied, and if it happened at your place now you had to wash your sheets (that was always a major thing for me. I hate sweaty spots from some random guy on my clean sheets!)

Wtfisthisgamebtw · 2021-11-08T17:46:26+00:00

This is 100% a true and based take. Almost as if modern world has promoted degeneracy as 'good' and took away happiness and fulfilment.

JadeBaby2211 · 2021-11-09T00:56:30+00:00

The men I've hooked up with did not know how to kiss😑 it was like a slobbery first time kiss....like these men have never kissed a woman in their life kind of kiss. And even the hot guys served bad sex, because they aren't even interested in having good sex, they just want a break from their porn addiction.

OvarianSynthesizer · 2021-11-09T07:23:54+00:00

Hearing about how common anal is just makes me feel old and out of touch.

herp_derpprincess · 2021-11-08T19:33:28+00:00

Yep! This is so true, every woman needs to see this post. We don't need any validations from anyone except ourselves.

vbych76 · 2021-11-09T02:21:16+00:00

And if you Do hook up with someone you rarely go to a hotel. So the options are - your place, where you jeopardize your safety (he knows your address now, if you live alone, etc.), could be r*ped or robbed too or you go to his place and he could lock you in there, beat you or film you without your knowledge.

ConfusedBisexual1992 · 2021-11-09T11:06:45+00:00

And these scrotes will then have the audacity to whine that ‘bUt ShE gAvE iT uP tO ChAaAaAaAd StRaIgHt AwAy, WhY dO I HaVe To WaAaAaAiT’

The reason we’re making you wait is because we’ve been hurt in the past because we got attached too soon. If we’re asking to wait a bit, it’s because we’re serious about being in a relationship and want to make sure you are too. There is literally no good reason for us to continue behaviour that has gotten us hurt in the past.

LizzyCF · 2021-11-09T11:30:57+00:00

I'm seeing a big shift these days in many young women's views on hookups and sex in general. The ladies are more empowered, know their worth, & refuse to put up with bad behavior from male pursuers. They saw all the crap that we dealt (still deal) with and they're putting their wellbeing first. Good on them.

ArugulaIsAwesome · 2021-11-08T15:00:10+00:00

The last sexual encounter I had was with a long time acquaintance… my goal was to check him out sexually to see if I’d consider him for dating.

It went like this.

Lovely evening with wine.

We make out, go to the bedroom, he fumbles around trying to please me with his hand.

He gets frustrated, I go down on him only to be told to grip harder (porn sick limp dick).

Him: Want to have sex?

Me: No

Him: So I can’t penetrate you?

Me: No

Him, disappointed flips me over and proceeds to jerk off onto my back and into my hair.

End of scene.

I was shocked. Like WTF?

I am will now for the rest of my life shutter any time I hear the word penetrate. 🤢

2021-11-09T12:18:45+00:00

I’m almost 50 so I am at the point in my life where I could be ok with casual sex, but men can’t seem to understand casual sex and ordering a pizza delivery should be approached differently. I don’t want to move in with him or marry him EVER, but I’m also not going to get ready and come over/open my door just because you text me a couple birdseed texts. Wtf?

xfelugirlx · 2021-11-08T19:02:26+00:00

Amen sister, it doesn’t worth the risk, vih, pregnancy, scrotes. Uh no

2021-11-08T17:48:41+00:00

[permanently deleted]

lastresort9 · 2021-11-08T17:53:52+00:00

New age feminism has attempted to make the little power we have over men disappear

lucidlotus · 2021-11-09T15:14:44+00:00

I grew up in a special intersection between a Christian "no-premarital-sex" upbringing and the pickme feminism of the 90s/early 2000s. Rebellion against the religious upbringing led me straight to hookup culture. I truly didn't know there was another option. What a mess. I want to brainstorm ways to help girls and younger women avoid the mistakes some of us have made.

Noemie_Mathilde · 2021-11-10T11:17:39+00:00

Agree with everything. Hate the term "nut" though, especially when applied to a woman's orgasm.

Emergency-Feed8216 · 2021-11-09T04:15:15+00:00

Brain dead libs definitely read Vice but Vice is not actually a lefty rag. The king of right wing media, Fox News owner and notorious war-mongering fascist (snd porn investor) Rupert Murdoch and his creepy son James control Vice.

It's understandable since, from the start, Vice was only ever a faux left Trojan horse publication meant to draw in shallow mainsteam liberals on a few lefty banner issues and then start selling piecemeal and thinly veiled fascist policies, usually in the name of "science" (because liberals love them some "science").

The tactic goes back to Plato who advised the ruling class to capture the minds of the "humanitarian element" (lefties) by stealth and subterfuge first as the fastest way to establish a totalitarian state. Murdoch may be the Prince of Darkness but he's no idiot. If you get lefties hooked on porn, who needs a Beer Hall Putsch?

Specific-Composer300 · 2021-11-08T19:09:22+00:00

That second meme is perfect!

hodgehogs · 2021-11-10T12:26:43+00:00

Everything about this. Intimacy without a feeling of security is trauma

GoodBadOldHarry · 2021-11-08T18:50:00+00:00

They are celibate when the time is over.

Risoa · 2021-11-09T14:40:27+00:00

Facts

Title	Hookup culture is a scam
Author	vanillahcupcakes
Upvotes	2747
Comments	191
Date	November 8, 2021 1:33 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/qpdq5g/hookup_culture_is_a_scam/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/hookup-culture-is-a-scam.1085250 https://theredarchive.com/post/1085250