RED PILL - what was yours?

AndyMan668 · 2012-08-09T19:51:36+00:00

Sharon Osbourne

UtilitarianByNature · 2012-08-09T21:44:13+00:00

Being abused in my last relationship. Realizing my Ex's behaviors were supported by almost everyone around me.

2012-08-09T21:02:17+00:00

The gaping disparity between men's rights, and men's responsibility.

MaunaLoona · 2012-08-09T21:49:29+00:00

Ever since I could remember I thought girls had it easy. I even wished I was a girl when I was little.

I remember in first or second grade there was some boys vs girls conflict. Girls were kicking boys in the balls with impunity and no repercussions. Well, someone got the bright idea of lifting up girl's skirts. The idea spread. All girls wore a dress because that was the dress code. I suppose we saw it as girl's weak point and thought it was super effective. That very day we were all scolded by the teacher and received failing "discipline" grades. We thought it was completely unfair because the girls weren't punished at all.

nigglereddit · 2012-08-09T22:33:25+00:00

When my brothers wife cheated on him, left him, and got custody of their two kids and maintenance payments then refused to let him see them for years at a time - and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it.

If only that was a story none of us had heard before.

oneiorosgrip · 2012-08-09T22:16:39+00:00

First taste of the red pill: 1979... I was in first grade. My best friend's favorite color as a little boy could not be pink. The neighbor girl could tell everyone she wished she were a boy, wear boy's pants, ride a boy's bike, and insist on shortening her name to sound like a boy... but my best friend got beaten up for wearing pink, and the neighborhood parents encouraged it. Saw a lot of things after that, none of which made sense... including the way my male friends and family have been treated by law enforcement when they have been assaulted by women. I've got multiple folks who have been arrested for having the audacity to complain about being physically injured by women.

Bitterest taste: 2004, finding out my husband's ex was moving away with his kids, and that the court wouldn't stop her from taking them, wouldn't protect his visitation rights in the wake of the move, and (in 2005) learning that while the CSEA increased child support in response to the ex voluntarily quitting her cushy, high-paying job, they wanted to put my husband in jail when his job dried up.

Most surreal red pill experience... 2006 through part of 2012, being on the defense team for a man subjected to malicious prosecution by a vexatious litigant with the assistance (and full knowledge) of local DV advocates.

Since it keeps getting worse every time... kind of scared what the next one will be. :/

thrway_1000 · 2012-08-09T22:00:50+00:00

While working with rape victims I met some men who came in for help but they were denied help because they were male. When I tried to advocate for male victims too I was told to bugger off. I did. Now I'm here.

thatoneOPwhoposted · 2012-08-10T02:10:19+00:00

I was in 7th grade as a teacher's aide. A female substitute who regularly came in for my teacher was checking grades, when all of the sudden I see a guy drop to the ground. I then see two girls standing over him kicking the everliving shit of the guy, so I run over and push them away and call for the substitute.

Next thing I know, substitute is yelling at me for "inappropriately touching" the girls and is ignoring the poor guy laying there on the floor. So she sends me and the kid to the office, where I have to explain that this poor kid just started getting the shit beat out of him. He calls up the two girls to get their side, and when he asked them why they did it they said "He said that men don't need to open the door or pay the bill for girls."

Guess who got three days of suspension?

Aiwha · 2012-08-10T12:49:06+00:00

My first experience was when I was 11. I grew up on a 100 acre ranch that was next door to a farm. My best friend growing up was the farmer's daughter next door, let's call her K. So, one Friday, K brought a friend to spend the night, let's call her B. So K and I had a tradition since we were 6 years old that while I did the early morning chores (saddling and feeding the horses for the ranch and the farm) she would make us breakfast and around 6:30 we would sit by the creek and eat. Since this was a very small community, everybody had work to do. The men were in the fields and the women were cooking or cleaning. When they didn't have anything to do, the women would join us outside. B of course took offense to this and objected. She even went so far as to call her mother to come down andcomplain to our parents. They were asked politely to leave and when they refused, they were removed by force and were told that if they ever stepped foot on our property again, they would be shot. I'm pretty sure they took it seriously since we ALL carried handguns. But 11 year old me never understood what the big deal was. After this it was just little things as we went through school.

When we were finally old enough to drive, me and some of my guy friends took one of our buds to Hooters for his birthday. Oddly enough, B happened to see us there and labeled us perverts for the rest of our school years. But, again I never understood why it was ok for her to eat there but not us!

But the straw that finally broke the camel's back happened just this March. I'm in the Air Force ROTC unit at my university and was walking from my dorm to the muster zone to get ready for a CTF style "war game". It should be noted that I was in full ABU and had a replica M16 in my hand. On my way to the field, I passed a couple of girls walking in the opposite direction. By force of habit, I tipped my helmet to them. In the process, my rifle just happened to point in there direction and they freaked out even though my hand was around the barrel and no where near the trigger. . I did ny happenstance have my mock "magazine" inserted. It should be noted that we were not issued paintball "ammo" until we reached the muster zone. Of course, the cops were called and they pretty much tackled and pointed their very real and loaded guns at my face. Fortunately, this all went down within visual range of the muster zone so my squadron and teammates came mover to try to sort things out. Unfortunately, they were all threatened with being shot if they came closer so they backed off. They were all required by the cops to go make a statement immediately and be questioned. I was kept in solitary at the station for almost 5 hours where I was told I was going to be charged with attempted sexual assault, attempted assault, and making a threat with a deadly weapon. My entire squadron and I missed the entire day's activites and these two girls were being treated like queens. When it became clear that I had done absolutely nothing wrong, the cops tried to nail me on anything they could find. I was eventually released with no apology or explanation. The two girls however were given a full apology and were even going to receive reimbursement for their time! This was basically when I realized that women can say and do anything they want without any consequences in our society.

bertold_1951 · 2012-08-09T21:30:24+00:00

Mine was my first college english class, which ended up being not about english/grammar/literature at all. One could consider it an indoctrination class.

Before it, I would have been considered a white knight and maybe even a feminist as we define it. The instructor would spend her time trashing men, talking about patriarchy, and putting down anyone who had a differing opinion. She was incredibly nasty and hateful. If I hadn't been a stupid kid, I would have pursued her for discrimination and hate speech all the way to the top.

HolyCounsel · 2012-08-09T22:58:27+00:00

I used to be a Feminist in the late 80's, but ran into a lot of difficulty when I questioned the theories and raised my concerns about men. I received my fourth and final slap to the face (literally) by a woman while arguing with some Feminists who then cheered her on.

I left to find people more open minded and less openly hostile. Found some egalitarians and then finally the MRM and the rest of my red pill.

2012-08-09T21:24:56+00:00

Growing up in western society and observing how first boys and later men are treated in comparison to girls/women. From the home, to schools, to the judicial system.

Elonine · 2012-08-09T21:55:43+00:00

My story is not flattering, nor is it a single event. In fact, I hesitate to tell it, since parts of it almost sound like I'm a false-flagger trying to make us look bad...>_>

It started when I was in 1st grade, and boys were supposed to hold open doors for girls, but never the other way around. When I asked the teacher why she said it was being a gentleman. I don't quite get it... whatever, just do what I'm told...

8th grade a girl starts a fight with me, I get in legal trouble, and up in the psych ward diagnosed with all sorts of nasty disorders because I physically defended myself against a girl...

11th grade, have a girlfriend, all's dandy. She decides she going to start humping other guys without telling me... leaving me feeling kinda bummed. I'm super confused and find myself on a dating advice forum where somebody posts this crazy link. This is the first real "red pill moment" I had. Not because of the book or any the authors satire, but because the forum on that website was the first community I had ever experienced where BEING male wasn't inherently bad. The forum experience had little to do with women at all, just a bunch of guys talking about man stuff... but it was all kinda angry... Haven't been back since I graduated high school, but they gave me my cause to "stand for" (cuz every high school student needs to stand for something, right?)

Anyway, as I got older and more mature, I got much less angry and now I'm pro-mens right and have taken to just ignoring the "great war" that seems to be illustrated on every blog you can find on the subject...

pcarvious · 2012-08-09T21:19:00+00:00

Being accused of inappropriate conduct with a student I was tutoring. If I hadn't done all the tutoring in public I probably would have been SOL. I'm still blacklisted from tutoring and teaching in that district, though a few I have approached recently seem interested.

SilencingNarrative · 2012-08-10T03:22:00+00:00

Watching several of my male relatives be destroyed by the family courts. One of them was falsely accused by his wife of beating her. I helped him draft letters to the judge.

Another relative spent six months in prison in iran because his wife asked for the money her marriage contract said she could ask for (i cant remember the farsi word for that concept right now). it is customary, when a man proposes in iran, for the brides family to demand an astronomical figure in the marriage contract (more than thr man would ever make). Until recently, that money was only due if the man divorced his wife. Recently, the iranian parliment changed it so that the money could be demanded at any time.

bcauseFUthatswhy · 2012-08-10T06:54:35+00:00

it was 1992 and I was in second grade. we were in P.E. running timed sprints. there was a line of girls, and a line of boys. myself and two of the other boys were having a completely innocent conversation discussing who we thought the fastest girl would be. one of the teachers overheard us, we were suspended for 2 weeks for misogyny, and not allowed in P.E. for 1 month. upon being allowed back from suspension, we were doing the same thing in P.E., and the girls were having an identical conversation about the boys. when we brought it up to the teacher she mocked up publicly in front of the class and threatened to have us expelled.

needless to say I didnt return to that particular private school the next year.

waffebunny · 2012-08-09T23:14:54+00:00

The Penny Arcade dickwolves controversy, of all things. I decided to give the complainants fair shake, and started reading through as much third wave Feminist material as I could get my hands on. I tried - I really tried - to accept the viewpoint presented therein; but there were simply too many fallacies, too many inconsistencies. The more I dug into matters, the more I found myself in the MRM (and I've been here ever since).

The last six months or so have really hammered things home - as I've mentioned elsewhere, my brother-in-law was forced out of his job; at the same time, he was also deprived of his home, and his ex-girlfriend went AWOL with his daughter. He's been staying with us while he gets back on his feet; and as I told my wife: "He has no-one looking out for him but us. If we weren't here for him, he would die on the street and absolutely no-one would care."

ed_sparrow · 2012-08-10T00:18:55+00:00

My parents' divorce.

Darkling5499 · 2012-08-10T05:55:00+00:00

i started when i watched a family friend have his life ruined by his wife. she started cheating on him with a guy from work. he didn't want to believe it, but he finally "found out" about a year after it started. they started arguing (verbally) and he stormed out. he came back to the cops on his doorstep. she had claimed he was beating her (never happened). since she had no marks, the cops surprisingly left with just giving him a warning. i was over one day with my mother and the wife starting slamming her arm with a door to bruise it, saying "now the cops will arrest him for sure". she called the cops the next day, and heleft in cuffs. it took a week to get him out of jail, and she of course went unpunished. she then started abusing their kids (one of which is mentally disabled due to the mother drinking and smoking while pregnant because she was going to abort, but lost her nerve).

when the husband called the cops on her, the kids were too scared to talk, and the wife denied it. so of course the cops did nothing. she started spending all their money on booze, her boyfriend, and who knows what else, without telling her husband. she would take the money out to "pay the mortgage" and just spend it. the husband didn't know until he got home before her and read the letter from the bank saying they had 14 more days until forclosure. he immediately got a new bank account and started paying back the bank (which took almost his entire paycheck), and when the wife noticed the lack of funds going into their joint account, she started becoming physically abusive towards the husband. he reported it mutiple times, and despite the obvious scratches / blood on his face, the cops refused to do anything about it

. he went to a lawyer to see about a divorce, but no lawyer would take the case because cops had been called for DV. they all basically said he would lose EVERYTHING simply because she's called the cops, despite the fact it was proven she was lying. she'll randomly dissapear for a week or two, spending all the money she has "saved" up in the process (leaving the husband to try to feed himself and 2 kids on ~$100 every 2 weeks). when she's gone, the husband takes the girl off her meds, and she becomes a completely different person (the mentally retarded one). the wife was forcing the girl to take meds to make her easier to control so she wouldn't have to do much (they are basically sedatives). she's destorying their lives, and there is absolutely nothing he can do to stop it simply because she's a woman.

that's what brought me here.

since then, i've watched lives get destroyed by judges giving out child support requirements that equate to 75% of a paycheck, watched women get away scott-free from doing things that a mere accusal would have a man in cuffs, seen women cry rape and ruin lives permanently, only to find out she was lying. the amount that a woman can get away with in today's society is downright shocking, and it saddens me that a majority of people in today's society ignore it because of past oppression against women, and any attempt to bring light to it / correct false statistics is met with hysterical cries of "misogynist" and "woman hater" and "you just want women to stay in the kitchen".

most recently, i've had to watch a friend lose his son because his ex wanted to move across the country to live with some guy she met on the internet. they have joint custody, but the judge he went to to stop it basically told him he's SOL and she can do whatever she wants because she's the "main custody individual"... when they have 50/50 custody. he also has to pay child support despite the 50/50 custody, and now he'll barely be able to see his son at all (while, of course, having to pay more in child support).

dermanus · 2012-08-09T23:22:30+00:00

It started out when I was applying for scholarships and grants back in university (I graduated five years ago). I noticed tons of scholarships for women and none for men. Considering I had never seen girls being held back at school, and most of the top performers were girls, this seemed unfair.

I knew people wouldn't be receptive to it, so I mostly kept my mouth shut.

A few years later, I'm finishing up school, and I have a two year-old (that whole thing became another red pill moment, but not until later). I can't remember how, but I ended up with a copy of "The Myth of Male Power". It made a hell of a lot of sense. I tried to share it with my common-law wife at the time and she got downright angry with me for suggesting that men have it tough too. Keep in mind this is while I'm completing a degree and supporting a house and she is playing housewife, despite my doing most of the cooking.

Her reaction, coupled with the general sense of unease I had had about professional feminists* for years started to form into a red pill at that time, although it wasn't until after we had split up and I found the manosphere through PUA sites that I really came around.

*I say 'professional feminist' to distinguish between those middle of the road people who call themselves feminists but are usually receptive to MR stuff when it's explained to them well. Professional feminists usually have a financial interest in maintaining that women have it worse all the time, in all situations.

Xenoith · 2012-08-09T21:33:49+00:00

I read The Manipulated Man and it all kind of clicked. I got a bit more up to date after.

Jetmann114 · 2012-08-10T00:36:35+00:00

I found this place just by searching for subreddits a few months ago, and I have got to thank you guys! Before I discovered this subreddit, I never knew how bad circumcision was, how much more common female on male rape actually is, or how unfair our reproductive rights were! It means a whole lot to me and I am proud to be a member of this community!

picnic2812 · 2012-08-10T02:20:41+00:00

My ex hitting me, being verbally abusive and emotionally manipulative. When I tried to talk about it I was told to man up. When she attacked me one day during an argument and I called the cops, they laughed at me. I was 17, never understood why it was okay.

SirSkeptic · 2012-08-10T02:29:05+00:00

I was taking part in a "woman's liberation" march in the 70s, when one of the organisers stood up on a fountain (just before the march) and made the most vile, sexist speech I'd ever heard.

I expected these fighters for equality to boo her down but they all cheered instead.

I spent the rest of the march looking at all the women around me as if I had never seen them before. It was like being in the movie: They Live, where he puts on those glasses and the world looks completely different.

Hach8 · 2012-08-09T20:54:12+00:00

I used to consider myself a feminist, but I also considered the idea of equality and collaboration critical to advancing society. I was constantly accused with claims of privilege and others when I would try to defend men and male produced and consumed media from being demonized. I would always argue that approaching the problem that isn't so hostile to men was a better approach, and would always be rebuked as an apologist who cared more about protecting the sensibilities of rape apologists than women or rational people.

It came to a head, recently, with the Anita Sarkeesian stuff in the game-sphere. I got sick of all the claims of discrimination, male gaze, and how it harms women, and then I ran into a GWW video, and consider myself completely in opposition of feminism, now.

DruchiiConversion · 2012-08-09T21:28:19+00:00

This video.

I'm incredibly grateful for having been given such a soft red pill moment. I know some of you here have had unbelievably brutal ones, and I'm glad I didn't have to go through real hardship to learn some valuable lessons.

Stevieb1972 · 2012-08-09T23:15:07+00:00

I got physically attacked by my wife and when I left, her family said that me not talking and ignoring her was abuse on my part.

Simpsonsdid1t · 2012-08-10T00:47:45+00:00

I'm not much of a fan of the terms red pill and blue pill.

I prefer to label blue pill people as outsiders.

One of my first red pills was learning about the concept of paternity fraud after listening to an episode of tom leykis.

Kronik_NinjaLo · 2012-08-10T03:36:48+00:00

My own MIL told me that if I ever leave her daughter, she will make sure that they get every penny they can from me. I then realized that since there is a child involved, that would probably happen.

(I trust my SO would not do something like this and I also talked to her about this "comment", it does not reflect on her. MIL is just a bitch)

Unconfidence · 2012-08-10T07:42:24+00:00

Actually, even after I was falsely accused, I didn't know the MRM existed. My false accusation wasn't all that trying, fortunately, so I really didn't need to seek resources or anything.

What got me was arguing on reddit. I was making the point that rape jokes are acceptable, because all topics are acceptable for humor in my eyes. The SRSer who I was arguing with made the classic "You wouldn't say that if you knew what it was like to be raped." Having endured sexual abuse for a long period of my childhood, and getting this response in such arguments often, I was a little perturbed. But I don't like to argue from authority, so I wasn't going to bring it up. Someone else did, and chimed in with "How do you know he wasn't? It sure would be a shitty thing to offend a rape victim in an argument that people shouldn't offend rape victims." After upvoting that poster so hard that I could feel my brofist streaming across the internet toward his, I decided to check out the rest of his posts, to see if he was that cool elsewhere. Saw /r/mensrights in his post history, and the rest is even more post history.

alaysian · 2012-08-10T12:06:58+00:00

It sat in the back of my head for the longest time. My mom was always trying to look out for me and my two brothers, making sure we got treated right, and teaching us to look out for ourselves. She made sure we knew domestic violence could happen to guys too. My mom would always tell me that if was dating a girl and she hit me, that I was to do everything in my power to defend myself and then leave her. My dad was one of those "never hit a girl" types, though, and his view lined up better with the world.

Because of that, I fell into the white knight trap. It wasn't until I found men's rights here on reddit that everything my mom taught me growing up fell into place. My red pill was built by my mom and administered by r/mensrights

Falkner09 · 2012-08-09T21:54:46+00:00

Finding out I'd been circumcised as an infant. Knew right away it was unnecessary, because Id once heard someone get made fun of for being circumcised. been fighting against the forced practice ever since.

patriarkitty · 2012-08-09T22:03:37+00:00

I'm not a MRA but here are some of the reasons I visit this reddit.

The continuous moralist man bashing in the tech field. For example Startup dudes: Cut the sexist crap where most people didn't listen to the original audio or The Woman in the Facebook Frat House
The last line from the "every girl every boy" modified poem from Nancy R. Smith which says "There is a man who finds that the way to freedom has been made a little easier." I saw that when I was tremendously sick without healthcare and almost homeless. Saying that my life was just a bit easier was highly offensive. I'm not finding it now but that poem was changed from the original and IIRC Nancy R. Smith is not entirely in agreement with the new version.
The "stealth" misandry such as the belief that man is more violent then Woman
False rape allegation media hysteria and fear and shame of male sexuality such as objectification shaming and creep shaming.

shoar · 2012-08-09T22:45:21+00:00

I have a six year old daughter. Light of my life, I adore her and her mother both. Going out where we used to live, though, unsettled me a lot. I am a larger fellow and my partner looks VERY young for her age, so when people see a larger, bearded fellow like myself, early 30's, greying hair with a partner who looks younger and a young daughter... Well, let's just say that there were a few times where security at our local shopping centre would come up and ask my partner if she was in any distress. We are a more 'traditional' family unit, I work while my partner stays home and takes care of the household stuff. Drove the other mothers at Kindergarten insane because they saw my partner as a traitor.

Made me realise just how much of a raw deal we do get. I love my family and I want the world for them, but if I ever have a son (and I want one!) I want him to have the same opportunities as my daughter.

lizardjoel · 2012-08-09T23:01:27+00:00

Being screwed over multiple times in school.

SageInTheSuburbs · 2012-08-09T22:02:04+00:00

A whole lot of stuff. Watching politics work its way, making us believe girls had it so bad in school, while most of my honors and gifted talented classes had few boys, including myself.

Patrick5555 · 2012-08-09T22:25:42+00:00

Heroin addict girlfriend that said she was going to call the cops and tell them I beat her, for no reason. She was withdrawing and I was trying to sleep through all of it (because I don't do that shit) and she kept waking me up to scream at me for random things. Last time she woke me up she said, 'you can't sleep here' so I moved into the bedroom and I can't really remember what happened but she threatened to call the cops so I left right away.

2012-08-09T23:54:23+00:00

I was really young and I just had a bunch of sexist and male-demonizing teachers in middle school and high school. That, and I noticed how dads on TV shows and commercials were dopey.... this was around 2004, then I did a project on it for English class touching on these issues and actually got a decent grade despite my English teacher being feminist as hell.

Raenryong · 2012-08-10T04:35:52+00:00

Many things combined throughout most of my life, but eventually I just got sick of how society essentially treats me as disposable and inferior to women. Even posts on reddit highlight this fact.

The man always has to be "good enough" for a woman. The woman is good enough for anybody by virtue of simply existing. As a man, romantically and otherwise, my existence is not considered worthwhile until I have accomplished something noteworthy.

An extremely common reaction to criticising a woman for her looks or her personality or whatever is "well she wouldn't even look at you/you're not good enough for her" etc. I dislike how men seem quite happy to be subservient to women instead of equals.

The way that male sexuality is demonised and portrayed as "creepy". Masculinity as a negative word. There are many other things but I could go on for ages. Double standards in society.

DavidByron · 2012-08-09T20:19:51+00:00

Nothing. I guess I just always knew without really thinking it was a thing. The first instance I can recall was a woman friend who gave me a copy of "The Myth Of male Power" and she said something like, "Maybe I shouldn't give this to you, you're already bad enough as it is"

And I had no idea what she meant.

So that was twenty-odd years ago.

2012-08-09T22:18:43+00:00

For me, I just didn't felt right about feminism.

I took gender studies and sociology in college which prepped me for thinking of people in terms of color and gender instead of who they actually are, as people.

Then I decided since people say there is a problem, there must be a problem, and I'm for everyone being equal so I must be a feminist.

I met someone who considered himself an MRA. We fought about some things and agreed on a lot of other things, so I explored the topic.

Now I stick here because feminism is no longer as relevant as MR in my eyes.

Lecks · 2012-08-09T23:44:30+00:00

Nothing in particular, except maybe the constant repetition of how much worse girls'/women's lives are coupled with the absolute adoration of anything feminine that got on my tits ever since I was younger. I can't place a date on it though.

CaveExplorer · 2012-08-10T04:27:56+00:00

Someone on 4chan suggested I check out the manwomanmyth youtube channel a while ago. Extremely informational and flat out pissed me off due to the lack of justice in the western world.

Scientificus · 2012-08-10T11:50:33+00:00

The main thing that attracted me to the MRM was how Julian Assange's name was splashed across the media as a rapist based on unproven and suspicious accusations made by two women.

I also read a very interesting article called Is There Anything Good About Men, which basically sold me on the idea that patriarchy theory was false.

ExpendableOne · 2012-08-10T13:35:55+00:00

I've always felt that things weren't as they should be. Growing up being told that women are oppressed by the media/feminists but then seeing first hand that the reality was actually quite the opposite and that, in all aspects of society, not only do women have it better but actually have more power/privilege, and fewer hardships, than men. This was just something that I, like most men, just sat and took in silence because it's "what real men are supposed to do". Every time I would try to talk about it sexism towards men, unfairness for men or misandry, people would just answer with "well, it's just the way it's supposed to be"(the same people who would get, or act, very strongly to even the slightest little bit of comedy which could even come off as misogynistic, as if it was a sacrilege).

Spending time with more women and other female dominated spaces, like twoXC or other feminist circles for example, really cemented my resolve in regards to speaking out about these issues though; since not only were women just as sexist, disdainful, apathetic and hostile towards men(actually, a hell of a lot more negatively predisposed to men in general than I have ever witnessed any man be at any given moment) but also completely ignorant of male issues, completely unwilling to acknowledge them as issues and completely unwilling to address them. I eventually got tired of people telling me feminism was about equality, when it clearly isn't, and seeing people just accept that statement because women told them so or because no one really cared about men anyway.

2012-08-09T20:35:39+00:00

I always was told to feel guilty about my actions and how they effected women. When I asked my 4th grade teacher why I should only worry about women I was told that because men who lived before me that I never knew beat their wives and disrespected women and that currently women couldn't get a job nor fair pay. When I followed up asking if she made more than the male teachers she told me it didn't matter since they were men.

TheGentlemanZombie · 2012-08-09T21:56:02+00:00

My story was similar to yours, OP. I used to believe in feminism and thought that, if I had been alive back then, (we were learning about first and second wave feminists in school) than I would have participated in these movements for women's liberation. It felt like a honorable cause, and perhaps it was, in the 1920's. I have always advocated equality in all things, and I was rather young at the time, so I was upset with the idea that people would deliberately mistreat and discriminate against other people; again, I was rather young, so I believed feminism.

I was woken up rather slowly at first. Little things such as being told you can't hit girls because you're male, or my friends genuinely believing that men can't get raped. These little things never sat well with me, I always thought that there was something wrong, but I could never put my finger on it.

A few months ago, I discovered this subreddit and the manosphere, and the shock was almost like your parents throwing cold water on you when you don't get out of bed fast enough. The discovery made me so angry with the world, I could hardly work on anything, and my temper became extremely short and I snapped at people easily. I saw oppressors everywhere, and looking back on it, that wasn't the right way either.

I've cooled down significantly by now. I've learned to see both sides of an issue, all the better for me on the path to true freedom.

Ninja Edit: I'm actually pretty glad that I was woken up easily, not like some of the guys here who had to be chewed up by the system first. I think I'm one of the lucky ones.

AndrewSZ11 · 2012-08-09T22:00:08+00:00

It's everywhere I look. Women getting abortions when my friends wanted a kid, and keeping kids they can't raise while collecting CS and leaving the father out of the picture as much as possible.

Incarceration rates heavily favor women and there doesn't seem to be a reason why.

The constant 'don't rape women' slogan I hear over and over at my college campus.

Women lieing to me about birth control and saying they're on "homemade bc".

As well as the online scene & the fact you can be incarcerated for not giving a woman more money. It's made me take the Red Pill and opt out.

pinacoladasobe · 2012-08-10T00:28:57+00:00

I think my red pill was over the course of several relationships... I realized that a lot of my boyfriends had been in previously abusive relationships, and that most of their girlfriends had routinely hit and punched them with impunity, and their frustration at not being able to fight back or defend themselves because if the cops were called they'd be the ones to go to jail. Listening to their stories and their frustrations, I realized how biased the law was and how important it was for me as a woman to fight fair... and that men may be slightly terrified of me just because of what I can do to them if I get mad.

I started doing research on it and through various internet happenings, the metaphorical nail in the coffin was reading about how men become men. I can remember the website exactly: www.artofmanliness.com

I started thinking about how men were inherently self-sacrificing, and taught to be so because during periods of war, historically it was important to teach boys to be willing to die to protect the ones they love. The happiest men I know are the ones who have a woman in their life whom they can be adored by and fawned over without fear of being physically hurt, belittled, emasculated, or betrayed in trust.

It seems like there is a cultural acceptance of the mistreatment of men because they're supposed to take it and be happy for it. But really, that website really changed my perspective on what men aspire to be, and it made me respect their sacrifices and the work they put into being successful, and it made me realize how selfless they're taught to be.

AndIMustScream · 2012-08-09T22:52:38+00:00

Pretty much my entire life?

No, its not nearly that bad. =P

But I have seen a lot of 'little' things that just wear you down over time.

If you really wanna know Ill give a few examples that really stuck with me.

EDIT: But be prepared for a rant.

erenthia · 2012-08-10T03:03:15+00:00

I'm betting I can win most bizarre.

The 7th season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

DejaBoo · 2012-08-10T06:34:32+00:00

Walking the Halls of Academia and my ears burning red hot from fellow feminist concerned about Clarence Thomas's hearings and yaddha yaddha yaddha.

Me nodding my head really taking in their concerns, noting everyone's input and how passionate they were. Then, just a few years later, Clinton was charged with far worse allegations and ZIP.

NADA!

I started asking the same people, mind you these are colleagues and friends and it was pure dismissiveness. Oh those women just hate Clinton and are bitches, blah, blah, blah. And even going by the raw fact that Clinton, a person of the highest power taking a women of the lowest power is by their own definition -- I'm serious folks -- their own definition as sexual harassment regardless of free will they were in total denial about it being an issue. And I was like OMFG!

That's when I realized it was all about a banner flag and NOT about the ideals of equality. There were some true people but interesting enough they weren't the ones that upset or overly concerned about Clarence Thomas either (e.g., well I would rather have a liberal supreme court appointed, etc.). I really learned something about the majority of "feminism" with that time period and how much it is about political power and who you consider represents what you want.

ggqq · 2012-08-10T08:07:17+00:00

Got called a sexist in 11th grade because the female teacher 'felt that I was using her gender as an avenue for bullying', when all I asked was what the exercise was supposed to teach us in order to improve our training regimen (and she kept dodging the question). She thought I'd 'questioned her authority on the grounds of gender'. And the male teachers supported her. Luckily I got my year advisor and parents to see the absurdity of the situation. Still, many detentions and an angsty proceeding later, little was done about the situation and it just 'diffused' itself, so to speak.

FlemSmack · 2012-08-10T14:31:25+00:00

My ex was a rabid feminazi and until the day she kicked me to the curb I apparently simply did not realize what kind of world I lived in. After she cheated on me and then had me removed from the appartment, I lost pretty much all my possessions and every single person I've ever known except my own family turned against me, even though I never laid a finger on her, never screamed at her and never cheated - those were things SHE did. Funny detail; she had vaginismus so we NEVER had sex, not even once. I put up with that because I thought it was normal to do so if you loved someone. Reciprocal respect and all that. Hah.

My current SO is much more loving, but I will never again be able to trust anyone unconditionally. She jokingly talks about how I would get nothing if she grew tired of me and that it'd be a piece of cake to get the house, furniture and bank accounts if she were to accuse me of something. I know she doesn't mean it, but it's true. I would have no way to defend myself if she decided that lying would be her best option.

Ever since I've fully realized this truth, I feel like I'm a prisoner in this world. Nothing I say or do really has any meaning, as it can be erased by a single baseless accusation. I am effectively an extra in the grand production of life, and I'll never be able to play even a minor role until the curtain drops.

TracyMorganFreeman · 2012-08-10T16:55:13+00:00

Between living in a household that coddled my sister even after her three DUIs and a hit and run, the coddling of women even unproductive ones in the military, I was always kind of aware of the disparity in society, but not really what influenced it.

Out of intellectual curiosity I started researching feminism, and that actually led me to the MRM funnily enough.

mikesteane · 2012-08-11T10:03:19+00:00

I always knew we were discriminated against from my earliest experiences in primary school. Girls were always supported and assisted while boys were chastised for their energy and enthusiasm.

PigeonsBiteMe · 2012-08-10T00:29:27+00:00

For me, it was when I realized there was a such a place like this. Though, what made me realize that things were not as equal as it seemed happened fairly early, growing up almost entirely with my two sisters and mother(father worked a lot), coupled with several raging feminist teachers and peers. Because of these early influences, I consider myself an egalitarian, because just as there are some things in feminism I disagree with, I also disagree with some in the MRA agenda as well.

ThePigman · 2012-08-10T02:55:50+00:00

It was so long ago i don't even remember. Some time in the late eighties i think, certainly before the term Red Pill was popularized by The Matrix. Of course, as time has marched on i have realized that things are even worse than i thought when i was younger - probably explains why I'm far more pissed off now than twenty years ago.

eggilicious · 2012-08-10T22:28:53+00:00

A close friend endured 3 years of domestic violence but couldnt/wouldnt leave because there was nothing to help him and he didnt want to leave his daughter with his wife. He eventually ended up in a coma after she got drunk and attacked him with his golf clubs and she got custody of the child despite her history of violence

espsteve · 2012-08-10T06:10:23+00:00

I ended up here quite by accident. I needed one extra upper-level elective to fulfill my degree requirements in college, and the only class that worked within my schedule was a gender studies class. At the time, I thought, "Meh, I'm not really interested, but how bad could it be." The class ended up being about 85% women and touched on several topic including gender roles, queer theory, affirmative action and eoe, title IX, etc. Most of the class centered around the plight of disenfranchised groups (women, LGBTQ, etc). To the grad assistant's credit, he actually engaged the class in great discussions about the "how" and "why" of these topics without associating blame - very egalitarian. The women in the class, from time to time, would get upset at different ideas or discussions (which is fine considering some of these topics ARE actually things that women are currently dealing with), but no fuss was made by them when it came time to discuss men's rights, female-on-male intimate partner violence, or the like. That is when I first realized there was a clear and present double standard. After that, I started really noticing the things on TV that either negative portrayed men or were things that happened to men that would never be shown if it were happening to a women. At the end of my class, the final straw was learning about the child support system from a classmate (he was on the football team and knew several guys in the NFL). He related a story of one such person in the NFL having to pay $50,000 a year in child support, even though he never got to see the kid. Basically, the mother of the child didn't have to work because of the amount of money this guy was making as a professional athlete. That's when my eyes were really opened and I went looking for more information - because I literally couldn't believe how fucked up that was.

After mulling around for awhile, I found the feminism subreddit, thinking that would be a place to voice my issues and concerns. I was so very wrong. Eventually, I found this subreddit and realized that I wasn't the only one who that thought the child support situation was fucked up. While I'm not as hardcore as some of the MRAs on this subreddit appear to be, I do enjoy the discussions and the information that flow here.

MeMyselfandBi · 2012-08-10T13:13:29+00:00

After reading this blog post from a girl I know, I started to diligently look into what feminism was really about and then realized the hypocrisy within it. Then I began finding instances upon instances of misandry in our media and eventually that led me here.

TheDarkHorse83 · 2012-08-10T14:43:21+00:00

The pill itself, for me, was taken when I started dating a woman that treated me like an equal. She helped me realize that I'm more than a provider and protector as I've been raised to believe. My eyes started opening to the fact that it is assumed that we will throw ourselves infront of a bullet or on an attacker for a stranger simply because it's a woman being attacked. Or that we MUST be the bread winners, and if we aren't, then we aren't worth a woman's time, but she's inherently done her job by existing; she is then given the choice to work, stay at home, whatever. Then I started to notice how the phrase "stay at home dad" was spat more than said, but a stay at home mom was an honorable thing. Around that time I found this subreddit. Now I'm sold. True, there are many posts that I feel are hurting our cause, but there is a great deal that I am learning here. Thank you.

JockeVXO · 2012-08-09T22:04:25+00:00

ManWomanMyth, some two, maybe two and a half years ago.

Prior to that I was always opposed to feminism, as what it taught didn't match the world I lived in. But thinking of it as men suffering discimination hadn't occurred to me up until that point.

strontiumdog · 2012-08-10T13:25:57+00:00

This will get buried but eh will share:

I was in year 5 (UK) and the school made us celebrate women's day. When I asked my mum why they had one she gave me some feminist drivel and the teacher made us all write why it was necessary to have a womens day. I remember thinking it was all total bullshit - I should no more be responsible for what rich men in the past were responsible than my German friend should be responsible for the dictatorship of their Grandparents.

I wrote a sarcastic piece of crap they bought it and since then I've taken a rather dim view of feminism.

ss_camaro · 2012-08-10T08:41:40+00:00

THIS forum.

MechPlasma · 2012-08-11T18:39:56+00:00

Well, for me, I'm a die-hard scientist by nature. I did research, looked at statistics, applied reasoning whenever possible, and ignored anecdotal evidence and stories in favour of actual statistics. For me, there was no "people here treat men badly".

I simply based my opinions on facts and logical reasoning, like how men are statistically charged with worse offences for the same crime and how women are hardly ever executed in the US, and how the education gap cannot possibly be okay, and how the lack of women in STEM fields is clearly the result of boy-oriented shows glorifying technology and girl-oriented shows barely mention it, and how the 99%-of-rapes and similar statistics are verifiably the result of a double-standard rape definition (the Bureau Of Justice still does have a men-only definition, FYI). And how none of these were issues that feminists I met ever brought up. Additionally, there were a lot of things that a load of feminists did that pissed me off, because they weren't about feminism. Like turning the abortion debate from a philosophical one about the start of life into a "it's about the women" one. And justifying their ignorance of male issues under "feminism is fighting the patriarchy, so it's okay" - not least in that it's a double standard they don't apply to women's issues. And not defining feminism as "Equality for all gender", instead defining it either as women's only or egalitarian for everyone not just genders. And making masses of unfounded hypothesis and accusations and just assuming that they're true. And, of course, there's the infamous "sexism is only an issue if it's by men because they're the privileged ones in everything ever".

Well, that's the point where I decided that Men's Rights needed to be highlighted way, WAY more than they actually are. After all, society listens to feminists, but if said society still legally says men can't rape (England) or only men should be executed (US), then feminists clearly aren't doing their jobs. The point where I decided to start calling myself an MRA instead of just a true feminist (and I'm still a little hesitant about doing that) was the point, rather recently, that I decided that, no, I wasn't missing anything, men really do have the short end of the stick.

That moment, exactly, was when I compared r/Feminism with r/MensRights, and realised that while the latter's popular topics were either issues with the law, an easily-verifiable system, or sexism taken from major newspapers and media, the former's popular topics were all either issues that aren't sexism (again, the entire abortion debate), "this one guy was being sexist, let's generalise", and other just non-issues - while the only ones about men were saying feminism is for men too.

Oh, and if you're wondering, I live in Ireland. Here, there's no "patriarchy" because modern Irish society is extremely new and the last two presidents were female, there's no abortion debate because nearly everyone is Catholic, and because it's so small and so easy to get on radio debates any issues of discrimination anywhere are quickly made aware of. Seriously, Ireland is a great country!

A_Nihilist · 2012-08-09T23:44:31+00:00

I started noticing feminists in real life act like liberals on /r/politics. Circlejerk about fabricated oppressions, always have a boogeyman to blame problems on, censor/slander/libel those who you disagree with, or who present evidence that weakens one of your positions.

sabresfan4994 · 2012-08-10T15:11:46+00:00

For me it was in 12th grade in AP gov't when we had a feminist come in to talk about wage disparity, I could see huge gaps in her arguments and statistics she used but didn't say anything for fear of being ostrized or recieving a bad grade.

pocketknifeMT · 2012-08-10T19:49:50+00:00

A series of bad girlfriends, that turned really ugly towards the end. Thankfully I have been able to dodge/escape everything...but my personal experience has girls at 60-70% chance to do something crazy towards the end, as they see it.

One accused me of stealing something from her place that her (dead) mother wrote her that I didn't even know existed. Had a lawyer send me a threatening letter, with I met with a letter from mine. One stole all my patio furniture, and the stepping stones in the ground, out of spite.
One I knew in high school that I never even dated accused me of rape (not offically, or formally, thank god), just spread a rumor to get attention I guess. The story didn't even make sense as a cohesive narrative as I heard it. Most people who knew both of us never believe it at all, but rumors are rumors.

seego79 · 2012-08-26T01:32:18+00:00

with me it started with little things, the constant referances to the "evil" that us men do, then the shaming for just being a man, and the namecalling and charges of mysoginy if you disagree'd with the status quo.

but 2 big things started it, the first was the way the courts here (scotland ) dealt with the custody of my children. i was made to fight for basic parental rights for over a year even though the children had been in my custody for 3 years before, and the fact that the CSA continued to take money from me till i had court documents to prove that the kids were living with me.

but the biggest kick in the gut was the day my son came home from school and told me "boys are bad and stupid" and then came out with all these reasons boys were bad and girls were good.....he was 6 and already accepted he was always wrong and always bad, that just totally screwed me.

sounds silly but writing that just reduced me to tears, how is he ever gonna be happy when everyone tells him he is bad and wrong.

rightsbot · 2012-08-09T18:58:20+00:00

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NineTails21 · 2012-08-09T21:25:08+00:00

I was always sort of aware of this, till recently did I see it is more serious than I thought, but I still see it as a minor pothole compared to all the other things that are happening in the world. With the bitter hatred, Violence, Poverty, Disease, war, famine and destruction, Feminism is a small nuiscence compared to all that.

Boss_Monkey · 2012-08-10T12:22:58+00:00

I had two sons. I wasn't attractive to my wife. It was time to find out how to be a man. There is no right of manhood in the West. I had to find out what was missing. I had to find confidence to express my masculinity. At first, my wife asked me if that (expression of masculinity) was criminal. Her question was when I realized how bad we had been lied to. I have been here ever since, learning to dominate.

tldr; the red-pill was my right of passage into manhood. I took it so I could raise my sons to be men.

kazagistar · 2012-08-15T13:15:52+00:00

I saw through the... ugly bits of the PUA community, but was left unsatisfied... clearly, there were some strange, uncomfortable truths lying around there somewhere.

Title	RED PILL - what was yours?
Author	Bobsutan
Upvotes	65
Comments	149
Date	August 9, 2012 6:56 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/xyboh/red_pill_what_was_yours/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/red-pill-what-was-yours.1016205 https://theredarchive.com/post/1016205

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