..Seriously?

Telekinesis · 2013-02-01T22:42:33+00:00

Thank you for posting, I was actually going to post the exact same thing, found the same poster at my doctors office in the unisex bathroom, was above the toilet (for standing males to see). Was disgusted by it and took my own picture.

You know every man is a potential beater, and you never know who it is, better to be paranoid about all men even when they're relaxed and cordial like that.

Funny becuase in all my personal life experience it has been the woman who have attacked the males, 3 different times with butcher knives (3 different woman), thrown objects, destroying things, attacking with belts in a rage, slaps, etc. My cousin was attacked with the knife by his girlfriend in his 20's but instead she told the police he attacked her and they of course due to female privilege, immediately believed her and charged my cousin. It took over a year to clear his name when she finally admitted she lied. Rumors started though and he lost his managerial job at work, it really messed him up for a long time and he never did get his job back when he was cleared.

I know abuse happens on both sides but the point is there is an incredibly small amount of support for men facing abuse, and in fact outright hostility and derision if you even mention it but you never see anything like this holding woman accountable for their actions or even accepting it exists via education and recognition.

Hey we're both in Calgary :)

Sand_Shepherd · 2013-02-01T23:37:31+00:00

..............Am I the only one that noticed the faint outline of

"Bitch Left The Kitchen"

in the middle of the poster

http://i.imgur.com/mj8kMo2.jpg

Arcnsparc · 2013-02-01T22:48:57+00:00

"One of these men is abused by his partner."

Not_A_Dinosaur · 2013-02-01T23:17:53+00:00

I don't know what's worse: the fact that they are all men, or that it is implied that you don't know which one so you can't trust any.

raynman37 · 2013-02-02T01:13:50+00:00

I see nothing wrong here. This was provided by a women's emergency shelter and is made from the standpoint of a woman. If it were a group trying to promote equality, then sure I'd have a problem, but this was designed to speak to their target audience specifically on behalf of battered women.

dalsgaard · 2013-02-01T23:36:40+00:00

This poster treats the reader like he's already a criminal. Not only that, it instills paranoia by depicting everyone in his social circle as a potential violent individual.

I've never laid a hand on anyone nor has any of my male friends, and I resent the implication.

darth_redemption · 2013-02-02T00:07:24+00:00

In my relationship I'm more likely to take a swat at my fiance in annoyance, HE needs to remind ME not to hit HIM. This isn't angry slapping and shoving and desire to hurt either. Just habitual light swatting when I say I look like a sea cow and he reminds me they're called manatees. Still NOT OK. Why is it that there are no posters to remind women like me that it's never OK to even jokingly strike someone? It's a hard habit to break but I'm working on it. The worst is that people have witnessed this and don't seem to think anything of it. But when I dropped the clock on my face EVERYONE thought he was beating me. That poster should be a 50/50 mix maybe and say "one of these people abuses their spouse" ,':/

maybesane · 2013-02-01T23:28:10+00:00

My aunt made her kids watch her beat her husband with a clothes hanger on a regular basis. Where is she in this picture?

Harddaysnight1990 · 2013-02-01T23:01:21+00:00

It depends on what the definition of "Abuse" is.

I have heard neo gender-feminists claim that if you don't put youre paycheck right on the kitchen table where she told you to put it, and she has to ask you for it...thats abusing women.

TheoreticalFunk · 2013-02-02T00:41:19+00:00

Meh. I think this is fair. Maybe one of those fictional people do hit their wives. Not for me to judge the guy who drew the picture.

I really think this poster is for helping people who ARE abusive and want to stop. In that vein it's trying to be helpful.

edit: Probably would be better if there was a woman or two in the picture... so fair point. I've been drinking and I'm a super happy/friendly drunk.

ichlibejuice · 2013-02-02T02:20:34+00:00

It's probably the black guy.

CaptainEZ · 2013-02-02T02:23:51+00:00

I fail to see what's wrong with this picture. There are 5 fictional people, one of them is an abuser. It's not like it's saying every man abuses his wife or anything. I think it's just trying to get across the fact that it doesn't take a special kind of person to be abusive. Sure, it might be a little one sided, but there's nothing inherently anti-male about it. It's a hotline for men to call to work through their anger issues, why put a woman on it?

Seems like you're just looking for something to be pissed about in this case.

Joseph_Broebbels · 2013-02-02T05:18:30+00:00

I had my nose broken 4 times by my ex, and everybody I tried to talk to for help/support laughed at me for being a "pussy" because she was a foot shorter and 100lbs lighter than I was.

This kind of shit really pisses me off.

Rationalization · 2013-02-01T21:49:50+00:00

It's the one in orange isn't it? That smug smirk gives it away.

ObsidianOverlord · 2013-02-01T23:35:12+00:00

It's the one on the far left that looks like Nixon.

atlasdependent · 2013-02-01T22:14:36+00:00

Is the one in the center a young Nixon?

amemebyanyothername · 2013-02-01T23:37:02+00:00

bruce willis is too busy beating bad guys to beat his wife

bgmrk · 2013-02-02T00:10:41+00:00

Should complain to the establishment about this. Tell them how it makes you feel. I realize we are here to talk about issues facing men, but we are also here to change the way people see men. Go be the voice and get this slander removed from the walls.

Jiral · 2013-02-02T01:33:33+00:00

The positive: Free counseling service for men.

The negative: It's riddled with anti-male sentiment.

Sharkictus · 2013-02-02T02:23:41+00:00

I dont see issue with this, there could opposite gender equivalant somewhere. And its only says one of them..

Any human being is potentially a beater killer raper stealer, etc.

MinimaL_SC · 2013-02-02T03:46:30+00:00

Oh no, a poster that says "HEY, REGULAR PEOPLE WHO YOU MAY CASUALLY KNOW HAVE A DECENT CHANCE TO BE ABUSIVE TO THEIR PARTNERS." Why are you all freaking out about it?

circuitology · 2013-02-02T16:03:58+00:00

This is intended to be shown to abusers
The audience is apparently only men
Ergo, all abusers are male

I don't think I quite agree with that.

It's good that there's a counseling service. But I would be willing to bet that there is equal amounts of (if not significantly more) abuse by women aimed at men.

Someone needs to do a proper study on this subject, and find out how much more women are the abusers than the abused. Or maybe they have already, if so would someone please reply with info?

direwolfed · 2013-02-02T00:21:40+00:00

So one out of five males is an abuser? Next time I'm out for another man night I need to look very closely at my friends.

Greyfeld · 2013-02-02T01:17:18+00:00

While the underlying message is disgusting, it's hard for me to get too riled up about it. I mean, the poster is funded by a women's DV shelter, so it seems obvious to me that they would focus on the female side of DV.

That, of course, doesn't change the fact that I think the over-abundance of female DV shelters is a crock of shit (there should be an equal number of men's shelters, or change all of them to gender-neutral), but that's another topic for a different discussion.

jpaul3211 · 2013-02-02T01:23:33+00:00

Can we include a few women in the group?

If we do that can we also change the text to be, "[Number] of these people will be abused by their partner. Don't be that partner. Find a better way to handle your relationships and change controlling or abusive behaviors."

PoopInMyHand · 2013-02-02T02:03:51+00:00

What drives me nuts is the constant misuse of statistics. I'm taking a Crime Prevention Strategies class and we're doing the IPV section right now. I'll first off say my prof wholly admits that men are abused, there is little empirical data on it, and historically this was a 'women are the only victims' issue. He also said that women don't use physical violence as much and it's more mental abuse. The thing is there is a "model" for people/men who commit DV. 18-34, unemployed or blue collar, previous victims of abuse, etc. This of course doesn't mean that people fitting this will commit DV or that no one else can. But when trying to combat DV, you want to target those groups. It's far more likely that there is 5 guys at a bar in a poor part of town where 4 of 5 of them abuse. Putting signs like this up at random that throw out statistics and mis-representations do nothing for all sides.

PanoramicEgo · 2013-02-02T02:14:07+00:00

I'm sorry, but did anyone else notice 'gay' written on the shirt?

Chairyou2 · 2013-02-02T02:18:29+00:00

So is anyone going to call the number and protest this ad? Get them to change it to something less offense? I would but long distance and the call would surely be long.

DerpMatt · 2013-02-02T03:16:11+00:00

emailed one of the administration team. About all I can do.

Estephe · 2013-02-02T03:45:12+00:00

One of these men has a sister who was stabbed by a woman out of jealousy.

Women who are victims of violent women are treated as second class victims (to avoid embarassing the gender ideologues).

buddydog866 · 2013-02-02T04:26:03+00:00

Lets get the ducks opinion on this one: http://m.quickmeme.com/meme/3stl59/

RPrevolution · 2013-02-02T05:48:46+00:00

Oh man, a group of men. They must be up to no good, especially if they don't look like they are

jakenichols · 2013-02-02T06:22:59+00:00

What if his partner is a man?

jolly_mcfats · 2013-02-02T06:38:44+00:00

someone needs to print some "is Abused by" stickers and go do some culture jamming.

UP_BO_AT_S · 2013-02-02T15:58:35+00:00

I took it as saying that statistically speaking 1 in 5 men beat their partners. It seemed to me like it was saying domestic abuse isn't ok and you shouldn't do it.

I know it may seem like it is just male blaming but shouldn't these kind of things focus on stopping abusers from abusing rather than telling victims what do if they are abused? Isn't prevention better?

However, I agree that they definitely need to discuss female on male abuse as well as male on female abuse. Both happen and both should be stopped.

kragshot · 2013-02-03T04:09:20+00:00

"One of these women abuses their children."

"You don't have to. "

"Find a better way to handle child rearing and change controlling or abusive behaviours. Free, confidential women's counseling service:"

Now if a poster like that was put up somewhere, it would be a shitstorm, wouldn't it?

CountGraduon · 2013-02-02T00:49:25+00:00

Maybe she abused him first. Let's try to balance things out a bit.

jmkiii · 2013-02-02T01:14:03+00:00

I agree with a lot of stuff in this sub, but it's just plain overreaction if this makes you angry.

ThePigman · 2013-02-02T02:51:47+00:00

It's the guy on the far left. In fact, he's thinking about beating up his wife right now -- that's why he's laughing.

gwolf100 · 2013-02-02T03:45:58+00:00

Did anyone else think the middle guy looked like Nixon?

nostriano · 2013-02-02T05:36:33+00:00

It's shit like this that makes me afraid. The assumption of guilt is always on the man. God forbid we make a poster with a bunch of chicks, with the phrase, "One of these women is certifiably insane and will try to kill her partner."

Because, you know, male privilege and all that...

Defengar · 2013-02-02T07:00:27+00:00

The guy in the middle is clearly Elliot Stabler from Law and Order: SVU, so that counts him out...

JohannFriedl · 2013-02-02T07:43:22+00:00

Definitely the one on the right

Suitecake · 2013-02-02T07:46:43+00:00

Dude on the right. Calling it.

Electroverted · 2013-02-02T07:52:23+00:00

It's definitely the guy who rolls up his sleeves. He looks the most intoxicated too. He will definitely go home and abuse his partner.

BUTTEFFINSTINK · 2013-02-02T08:14:06+00:00

I call the guy in orange... He's not showing as much emotion as the others

Swift3lade · 2013-02-02T09:54:20+00:00

While we are stereo typing, why not hang a picture of some black men around a table and say the same thing about committing crime?

2013-02-02T14:33:37+00:00

Nothing wrong with that!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9PXL7-WsLQ

silverionmox · 2013-02-02T14:39:20+00:00

Next week: a poster with five black guys, and the text: "one of these five is a mugger".

Bobsutan · 2013-02-02T16:56:27+00:00

I'd like to see a response activism movement where people put related stickers or posters over or next to those types of ads so to give them context. For example, in the case of the picture this thread is about a good response would be a sticker you could put over it saying "and 1-2 of those men are abused by their partner. Men, if you are abused call ........."

CaptainCooksCat · 2013-02-02T17:00:36+00:00

The Italian one.

AndrewSZ11 · 2013-02-02T17:01:38+00:00

intolerable.

blueoak9 · 2013-02-02T18:16:07+00:00

And two of them are being abused by their wives. and you'll get either of them to admit it to you with the attitude that poster is displaying.

Octagonecologyst · 2013-02-02T21:39:35+00:00

Clearly the asian dude. He looks shady as fuck (No racist).

TheLoopOfKarma · 2013-02-03T01:21:37+00:00

is that Marc Maron?

vaselinepete · 2013-02-02T17:43:08+00:00

Jokes aside, I see nothing wrong with this.

Title	..Seriously?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	698
Comments	246
Date	February 1, 2013 9:41 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/mensrights/comments/17pvbv/seriously/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/seriously.1605379 https://theredarchive.com/post/1605379

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