Cheating should be illegal

alotofironsinthefire · 2025-05-11T14:11:04+00:00

There are no consequences for breaching your obligations to your partner by cheating,

The consequences are that they will, in all likelihood, end the marriage.

MidoriEgg · 2025-05-11T14:07:51+00:00

What type of legal repercussions? Like a fine or jail time?

BichonFriseLover · 2025-05-11T14:20:54+00:00

Ultimately, this is an argument for diet slavery.

KayRay1994 · 2025-05-11T14:44:41+00:00

You run into a ton of issues that just make this impractical af when it comes to application:

1) how do you define cheating? And how do you enforce each individual definition - some people may consider flirting to be cheating, some draw the line at kissing and others draw the line at sex. To some it doesn’t matter as long as the cheating isn’t emotional and so on - people also change their minds all the time, getting the law involved each time is costly, inefficient and a strain on the system.

2) the entire process from accusation to punishment is costly and time consuming. Imagine a court of law being put together cause a spouse is accused of cheating then both have to make their cases - again, costly and a waste of everyone’s time. That’s not to mention how when a couple’s standards of cheating changes, you now have to go through a whole legal process. It will also slow down a ton of other legal processes that need the resources.

3) people are imperfect, they make mistakes - and while a mistake like cheating should indeed cost someone their relationship (regardless on how one defines cheating) - a whole legal process, pressing charges and punishment is going overboard.

4) it is also redundant as far as marriage laws goes - divorce for cheating is entirely legal and the cheater getting the legal blame already happens. Making a whole set of laws for cheating becomes redundant when it comes to family law and extends it to places where the government flat out should not be involved.

A divorce and the person being cheated on ‘winning’ legally in the divorce is more than enough, a whole ass criminal process is a waste of resources and frankly, flat out wrong. Placing cheating in the same place as things like murder is ridiculous

There are also instances where a person is in an abusive relationship (emotional, physical, you name it) and them cheating on the abuser is what helped get them out of the relationship (whether it is marriage or not) and have the courage to break out of the cycle. Make a whole set of laws about making cheating illegal and less people are likely to speak out, even if they didn’t cheat on their abusive SO - because now if they try to leave, their abusive spouse can now accuse them of cheating and even if the accusations are proven to be false, that’s a lot of time and energy dealing with your abusive partner in a case where they’re legally fucking with you.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-05-11T15:37:21+00:00

I prefer life when we dont have morality police, so no

Tylikcat · 2025-05-11T18:28:16+00:00

This is a place where some knowledge of history is really useful. Cheating used to be illegal in many places, though in practice it was enforced mostly against women. And as cheating was often one of the causes of divorce, looking into why no fault divorce pre-empted divorce only for cause would also be really useful.

A lot of your reasoning is also just off.

"Usually we outlaw things we think are morally wrong to do."

No, we don't. The things we outlaw are things we think are morally wrong. But there are plenty of things that most people think are morally wrong that are not illegal.

Let's start with lying. Lying usually isn't a crime. In the US, it's not only not a crime, under most circumstances it is constitutionally protected free speech.

Many people think drinking alcohol is morally wrong. Or gambling. Or having premarital sex. I'm not personally opposed to any of these (though I often think gambling is stupid). Actually, I'm not opposed to extramarital sex either - but only if everyone is informed and in agreement about it, which usually isn't what is meant by cheating.

I'm not interested in creating more laws that seek to control our private lives, and I think there are plenty examples from time periods when such laws were common of why they really aren't useful, nor do they create a better society. Outlaw the big things that are really harming people. But don't expect laws to regulate your social and family life. (Outside of things like domestic violence.)

If you personally are especially concerned with cheating a) maybe reconsider marrying your partner? and b) you can put provisions around cheating in your prenup, but be prepared to have a conversation with your partner about them and why they don't come down to an accusation that they are going to cheat.

Desperate_Coat_5244 · 2025-05-11T14:14:29+00:00

Idk, most married cheaters do face the consequences of their actions and get served by a divorce.

half_avocado33 · 2025-05-11T14:05:04+00:00

What would be a good enough argument?

throwawaytradesman2 · 2025-05-11T14:22:26+00:00

Nonsense. Even from a man who was cheated on. Cheating is immoral, but growing the strength of the State is garbage. Teach men and women to spot the signs, change the laws to stop punishing men in divorce, and teach men and women to set boundaries and demand accountability.

IPlayTeemoSupport · 2025-05-11T14:31:42+00:00

I think cheating is morally wrong, which a lot of people agree with me on. Usually we outlaw things we think are morally wrong to do. Example: Murder, theft, sexual violence etc.

in the state of Alabama,

• It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.

would you say that that is also morally wrong per your argument?

WebBorn2622 · 2025-05-11T14:33:24+00:00

Here’s a couple reasons:

If a married woman is raped by another man and her husband doesn’t believe her can she then be taken to court and sued over getting raped?

You could make an exception for rape, but rape is really difficult to prove so the exception would only be functional if it’s trust based and doesn’t require evidence. But then that creates an incentive to lie about being raped for cheaters who want to avoid getting sued.

Then there’s the fact that some people have open marriages or are swingers. Would this be outlawed or would you have to include a cause in the marriage certificate allowing it? If you decide to open your marriage at a later point do you have to send an application to the government asking if you are allowed to have sex?

If you make an under the table agreement to open the marriage without the governments knowledge can your partner threaten to sue you if they change their mind later?

If you get separated and apply for divorce are you legally required to wait until the divorce is finalized to have sex again? Despite being broken up? Or could an abusive ex partner who doesn’t want to get divorced take you to court if you do that?

Cheating sucks, but legally persecuting cheaters is not the way to go. It’s not going to reduce the amount of cheating in our society. It’s just going to make our relationships more messy and invite the government into our bed rooms.

PracticalControl2179 · 2025-05-11T16:26:29+00:00

Perfect. I get tired of my husband. I want a divorce. I want more money and assets in the divorce. I tell him I want a one sided open relationship because I think he is so alpha and hot that he needs multiple women to satisfy him and that I don’t care if he sleeps with them. I don’t get this in writing. He makes a dating profile and begins soliciting other women. I save and document his dating profile. I even make a fake dating profile pretending to be a different young attractive woman and set up a date. He manages to get a couple dates and I photograph and capture images of those. Once I have evidence gathered, I tell him I want a divorce. I go to court with the images of his dating profile, messages to my dummy account, and his dates with other women. I win more assets than before and he gets jail time.

Bulky_Analyst_9168 · 2025-05-11T14:23:13+00:00

What would be the legal description of cheating? I'm sorry, but I don't think it could be "act that couple together decide being off-limit or when other one feels like being cheated on" because it's way too vague.

What if other spouse thinks sexting as cheating but other one only physical sex? In physical intimacy, where goes the line, hugging, kissing, dry-humping or only a clear intercourse? How solid proof should there be for the court? I mean... there is A LOT of situations where you know other person is cheating but you don't have solid proof. But there is ALSO a lot of situations where jealous partner accuses other for cheating even when it's not happened. Do you need a confession or you'd always need a video-proof or eye witnesses? For example screenshots of chats and even pictures are super easy to fake.

There is also some married couples who are practically separated but haven't legally divorced, it would basically give spouses quite a weapon to just make other one's life difficult if you can't date anyone during separation time before divorce is finalized because other one might as well take it to court and accuse you for cheating because you are still married in paper even if you haven't been in actual relationship in long time anymore.

I have no doubt there would be lawyers who absolutely loved to take all the money from people accusing each other about cheating in court, but then again I'm really not sure if it would be worth of all that mess. I understand people feel strongly against cheating but it would still not practically work as a illegal act. It is illegal in some countries but I think as a side-effect there is lot of violation of human rights.

babazuki · 2025-05-11T14:29:43+00:00

Specify what constitutes cheating. Intercourse with someone else? Kissing someone else? Texting someone else past a certain time at night?

I think these things are best left for the couple to decide and whether or not they feel their partner has overstepped boundaries within their own relationship. Government shouldn't be invited to the relationship. The couple can decide if they want to stay with each other or split for any reason they choose.

BichonFriseLover · 2025-05-11T14:53:46+00:00

So, you want a legally binding contract that stipulates appropriate behaviours in a relationship that could have potential financial ramifications if you breach the contract?

Dapper-Suggestion462 · 2025-05-11T14:24:51+00:00

Marriage is not for extremely sensitive people

It is not that black and white, we all have family members or friends who were involved in cheating!

The worst punishment we gave is stopped talking to them

Most people just separate/divorce and move on…

I see lots of men on dating apps writing about their wife’s cheating in their bio. So they decided to define themselves as a betrayed victim. Still mourning!

Who is going to date victims?

Seriously why would i date a grown man in 30s 40s who is still crying over his wife”s cheating…

They need therapy, not trauma bonding!

Kapoue · 2025-05-11T16:38:31+00:00

I disagree with the premise but I'll focus on a technical issue you would be facing trying to legislate this. I see you are arguing in good faith so I'll try to do the same.

How do you define unfaithfulness or cheating? Is kissing someone cheating? What defines kissing? Only lips or tongue? It happened to me in the past when I kissed the cheeks of friends the lips touched when changing cheeks, especially when one or both are drunk.

So if more is required, what is? Blowjob? Handjob? Penetrative sex?

If we're talking about the cheater losing all their worldly possessions, you would need a clear line somewhere.

Rape laws face the same issue and have real problems but usually the harder the agression, the harsher the sentence. Putting a hand up one's skirt will be punished differently than a full violent rape.

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mhaom · 2025-05-11T14:14:31+00:00

Isn’t cheating already illegal?

Adultery is already illegal in most countries, even some states in the US.

And even in western liberal countries where it’s less likely to be illegal, it is always grounds for divorce, as it’s considered a violation of contract as you argue. And those divorces tend to overwhelmingly be in favor of the one who got cheated.

So what is it you would like to happen? More severe punishments for cheating? And if so how severe?

ThatBitchA · 2025-05-11T15:34:26+00:00

Divorce is a consequence.

WillyDonDilly69 · 2025-05-11T16:42:12+00:00

In many countries there is no fault divorce, there is just divorce if both people agree or if you admit the fault of your own. Cheating is breaking the marriage contract and just based on this the cheater must pay extra fines to the victim.

BobtheArcher2018 · 2025-05-11T17:31:05+00:00

It may be theoretically true, but there is no way to enforce this in a modern polity without the cure doing infinitely more harm than the disease. So no. Abso-fucking-lutely not.

In some smaller scale tribal situation where enforcement and punishment can be context sensitive, possibly.

MotherPermit9585 · 2025-05-11T20:35:48+00:00

We don’t have enough judges to handle the current family law cases and you want to clog up the courts more with infidelity claims? What’s next making it illegal to call people mean names? I say this as someone who was the victim of infidelity. It’s not that serious and adults resolve these things on our own without involving a judge or jury.

84JPG · 2025-05-11T21:02:49+00:00

I don’t want the tax money I’m forced to pay to the government going to enforcing this law. Your relationship isn’t my business.

A person shouldn’t have their rights and freedom removed because they chose to have consensual sex with another adult, even if that might hurt a third person’s feelings.

Traditional_Lab1192 · 2025-05-11T22:23:06+00:00

The morally righteous “Cheating should be illegal” argument has always been so goofy to me and it will always be. Murder, theft and sexual violence, etc directly cause physical and tangible harm. They are not outlawed due to morals but due to the unrest that they would cause in society if they were legal. There is nothing moral about it. It is simply about keeping law and order. Cheating does not cause the same unrest. It results in interpersonal ramifications and thats it. So the government stays out of it. Whats next, do you want lying outlawed as well? What about hypocrisy? Your moral judgments should not be law. Our tax money should not be wasted over John Doe serving two weeks in jail for sleeping with his coworker.

Makuta_Servaela · 2025-05-11T22:37:10+00:00

People have very different definitions of cheating. My mother considers my father's porn watching to be cheating. She would consider eating lunch with a male coworker cheating. She considers my consensual poly relationship to be cheating.

To have this kind of law, you'd either have to determine what cheating is in one objective way, which is impossible to do for everyone, or you'd have to let each couple decide what cheating is for them, in which case it's pointless to make a law for it outside of maybe not giving alimony to a cheating partner if they divorce, which is already a thing in some places I think.

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harmonica2 · 2025-05-11T14:39:20+00:00

I kind of like That cheating is legal in the sense that it causes more people to do it and therefore you can weed out the ones are unfaithful if that makes sense.

xxTheMagicBulleT · 2025-05-11T14:57:19+00:00

It should not be illegal.

But it definitely should be shamed equal sides and hold the same deeper responsibilities.

So good people should be seen as good and valued more.

Shitty and selfish people should be seen and treated like Shitty and selfish people. And have to be treated as such.

Cause society is so fucked cause Shitty and selfish people often get treated as idols. Cheaters. Sluts. Criminals. Or even murderers. You name it countless things and people that people find distasteful but big amount of people look up to and glorifies.

What naturally does not make a great argument for making more good people. If you quickly and often see bad people getting away with so much. What most people find very distasteful.

And it just makes there less and less kind people out there.

And thats much a isue then it being illegal. The fact being kind and looking out for others gets you no where. And being extremely selfish gets you so much further then the opposite. Shows the system is broken. And it naturally will make much more bad people then good cause what gets rewarded more will make more likely what to be more commonly people are in society And thats the problem.

If being good and kindness gets rewarded much more then. You would get naturally more good people. But if you don't you get more bad people.

Legate_Retardicus84 · 2025-05-11T20:22:55+00:00

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ViolentShallot · 2025-05-11T20:34:51+00:00

First question should be, civil law or criminal law?

Vikklee · 2025-05-11T20:45:29+00:00

I don’t think I would want to be with somebody who isn’t cheating simply because they’re afraid of the law. I want the person I’m with to not cheat because they’re afraid of losing me.

thunderchungus1999 · 2025-05-12T02:44:54+00:00

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Schleudergang1400 · 2025-05-12T12:49:36+00:00

Criminal law is based on harm principles: the state punishes actions that cause measurable harm to others or to society (e.g., violence, theft, coercion). Cheating causes emotional harm but not legal harm in the sense recognized by criminal law.

The legal system protects physical safety, property, and rights—not private emotional agreements unless formalized. Civil courts may address consequences, but criminal law does not intervene.

shadowrangerfs · 2025-05-12T23:32:25+00:00

Just so we're clear, how are we defining cheating?

Flirting? Kissing? Sex? What about emotional cheating?

InternationalNose198 · 2025-06-01T18:39:04+00:00

I think you suck, cheating is wrong but honestly you can't judge people with that approach due that every situation is different, and people get sexually disconnected and they source it outside

Slow-Narwhal486 · 2025-05-11T19:32:04+00:00

Just to be clear, I live in the US, so I’m speaking from the perspective of US law here.

Cheating is obviously a shitry thing to do, but it’s not- and shouldn’t be- a criminal offense. In the US, marriage is treated as a civil contract, not a criminally enforceable one. That means if one person breaks the agreement (like by cheating), the consequences happen through civil courts- divorce, custody arrangements, financial settlements- not through the criminal justice system. It’s not like breaking into someone’s house or committing fraud against the government. It’s a personal breach, not a public threat.

The point of criminal law is to protect public safety and punish behavior that causes direct harm to others in a way the state has to respond to- assault, theft, etc. Cheating, while morally wrong, doesn’t rise to that level. The government doesn’t exist to enforce private relationship ethics, even if it feels like it should when someone acts like an asshole.

If you still think it should be illegal, I can point you to some legal precedent that explains why that’s not how any of this works.

bangarang527 · 2025-05-11T14:15:08+00:00

Regardless of how you look at it entering a marriage is a legal contract between two individuals, cheating should absolutely be seen as a breach of contract, which would be illegal, when the party separate and one party has cheated that party should be awarded absolutely nothing from marital assets. Should be common sense

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2025-05-11T14:17:16+00:00

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caption291 · 2025-05-11T17:09:59+00:00

I agree, I think cheating should be illegal, But the main problem I see is that it would be an extremely easy law to abuse in certain situations(including accidentally) and If it's easy enough that it gets abused more than used correctly...I'm not 100% certain that that's a good tradeoff.

I think it is but I wouldn't think of someone that thinks it's not a good tradeoff as being crazy. I think it is because the actual power of a law has more to do with how the knowledge that the law exists influences people than the actual punishment itself.

Title	Cheating should be illegal
Author	BichonFriseLover
Upvotes	1
Comments	149
Date	May 11, 2025 1:59 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1kk1nkc/cheating_should_be_illegal/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cheating-should-be-illegal.1551934 https://theredarchive.com/post/1551934

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