LOOKS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREAD

ReasonConfident4541 · 2025-06-03T02:33:20+00:00

There’s a popular response to the idea that women mainly go for “Chads”:

“Just go outside — you’ll see average guys with girlfriends everywhere.”

But here’s the problem: Most people don’t actually understand what “average” means in this context.

That guy you think is “just a regular dude” —

He’s 5'10

Lean or athletic

Has clear skin, decent style, some confidence

In reality, that’s above average across most metrics women care about. He’s not a supermodel, no — but he’s not what the statistical average man looks like either.

The true average guy is:

Shorter

Overweight

Untrained physique

Poor grooming

No social presence or charisma

And those guys aren’t getting the same results. They’re often invisible.

Yes, in some settings — tight communities, workplaces, or lower socioeconomic areas — you’ll see more typical-looking couples. But in most urban environments today, where dating is influenced by apps, fast-paced social scenes, and visual-first impressions? Women tend to choose men who are clearly above average.

TL;DR: Women are attracted to men who are above average — in looks, height, or overall presence. Many of the so-called “average guys” with partners aren’t average at all. The confusion lies in misidentifying what “average” really is.

BrainMarshal · 2025-06-02T04:39:39+00:00

Tinder just included a height preference feature for real.

Women can filter men for height but men have no equivalent. Online dating just took a huge asymmetrical hit. Pity we can't talk much on Reddit about the disaster this is going to unleash.

small-pp-small-smv · 2025-05-31T18:43:20+00:00

<image>

Brutal heightpill

Adject_Ive · 2025-05-31T18:25:12+00:00

You're not an asshole. You're ugly

You're not boring and with no personality. You're ugly.

You lack social skills, because you're ugly.

Moral of the story is that you're ugly. Maybe rude too since ugly people are mistreated in almost every facet of life.

Sea-Reference-4534 · 2025-06-05T18:18:58+00:00

Universal truth

Brunettes>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>blondes

Cjaylyle · 2025-06-03T12:18:17+00:00

Why is discussing looks censored on this sub reddit when it’s literally 90 percent of what matters in dating?

How can you discuss dating without discussing by far the most influential factor?

RareBasis9710 · 2025-05-31T22:33:24+00:00

I don't know what people consider tall here, but basketball player height, for example, is gross. All these scary arm and leg appendages reaching out like insect antennae.

The tallest man I ever dated was 5'11 and he was lanky too. I didn't like that combination. All I could see was gristle and God help me when he didn't trim his nails it like looked like chicken talons reaching across the table.

Alwaysnthered · 2025-06-06T12:42:30+00:00

reminder truthbomb:

a skinny emaciated pretty boy that cannot even properly pick up a women and toss her around in bed will be more desired than a strong masucline looking man with an average or even above average face.

This I never understood. why is the preference in real life with clothes on different than the preference in the bedroom (of most women)

attendquoi · 2025-05-31T19:50:12+00:00

I haven't seen many photos of the men who post here, but none of the ones I've seen are unattractive to me. I think it's easier for men to just assume they're getting rejected because they're ugly.

Spread-Em-Plz · 2025-06-01T08:16:52+00:00

<image>

I've been called Incel loser virgin sexless beta there's a few more. Mostly insecure.

Do I look like it.

All the people who said I'm Insecure because I care about a woman's past.

I want you to post a picture of yourself.

Siukslinis_acc · 2025-06-01T10:16:55+00:00

For curiosities sake, rate the girls (not necessarily in a numeric value)

Alwaysnthered · 2025-05-31T21:01:25+00:00

a 25 year old women gets kidnapped, and hooked up to a lie detector.

her captor states: you must answer truthfully to this question, otherwise you will not see the light of tomorrow, it is as simple as that. then you will be free to go as will the others I have kidnapped. but the lie detector is 100% accurate and will reveal your truth thoughts. everyone's lives are in your hands

I am going to present forth two men (also kidnapped), and you must answer which one would you choose to sleep with - can you cannot chose "neither".

He brings the girl in to a room, and unveils the two men.

the first man is unveiled, a 25 year old 6 foot blonde guy with a handsome face, his hair is matted and shaggy underneath his sullen ball cap, his sharp jawline ever present with a five o clock shadow. "I kidnapped this man from his bed in the morning, he had no time to shower, and threw on baskeball shorts and a loose t shirt". the man raises his head, showing his "morning face" - eye bags, oily skin,. Underneath the old high school track team t-shirt she notices a slightl belly, his shoes worn down nikes.
the second man is unveiled - a shorter statured man (probably 5 foot 7) but very presentable - hair groomed, very good skin. fitted suit and nice tie. she notices a good physique under his well fit clothes. he's not handnsome like the first - moreso just an average looking guy that is groomed up- but not ugly either. "I kidnapped this man as he was headed to present at a gala"

the captor says: "you must choose"

which one does she pick?

Able_Donut2654 · 2025-06-01T16:55:22+00:00

You can really tell that blackpillers don't go outside because all their arguments are based on the idea the the world is entirely made up of chads and hideously ugly manlets. Meanwhile functional human beings can see that the vast majority of men are average looking.

fat-squid2025 · 2025-06-05T11:35:25+00:00

Looks are like video game settings for life.

Chad gets to play the game on story mode.

Chadlite/ HTN gets to play on normal mode.

Average men play on veteran mode.

And ugly dudes play on berserker mode..

Women are the same but they get one bump starting out

AutoModerator · 2025-05-31T16:00:59+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

bv0724 · 2025-06-02T12:29:14+00:00

[permanently deleted]

SquirrelofLIL · 2025-06-04T14:15:04+00:00

Here's a looks conundrum for you. I'm a 44F who's wondering about this. Why do I look younger to younger people (25-32) who frequently say they think I look their age, but people, especially men my age and especially more conservative men my age can always tell that I'm 40+. I dress Gen Z and am working on reducing my BMI to 19/20. I'm ugly, but still.

I've read Heartiste, etc on how men can always tell when a woman is of fertile age, which I'm obviously not. I can't figure out the what the tells are besides my weight and hairline, which I'm trying to get oral minoxidil for and I already use several peptide/caffeine serums and hairline thickening serums. What are your thoughts on this matter?

SeemedGood · 2025-06-07T15:36:44+00:00

For the person asking about male “pretty privilege” who just had their post removed:

Definitely. Some men grow up never knowing that women expect you to approach them, never actually having to, and not understanding that other men don’t get hit on regularly (or ever) - which may seem fortunate but it’s actually detrimental to their development of game (which you still very much need).

Generally, they don’t get ignored and treated as if they don’t exist nearly as much as most men. It doesn’t matter nearly as much if they are short (still matters, it just doesn’t kill them).

As children they get more attention from some teachers, some just making it easier on them, some very inappropriate, and occasionally some resentment. As adults, they often get better treatment in airports by gate agents and on planes by stewardesses (whisked through if they arrive really late, upgrades without being in FF programs and without asking, free booze on the flight), get discounts on stuff (sometimes massive), free drinks from bartenders, but mostly they just get lots of smiles and politeness where other men get treated gruffly. It all seems normal until you see it, then you can’t unsee it.

If they are in leadership roles women are more compliant with them, but if in competing roles with women those women are nastier. Generally, the workplace is a disaster zone of a minefield for them to the extent that there are women in it.

Their girlfriends/wives will learn to stop talking to their friends about them (because if she talks him up her friends will hit on him), but she’ll get a kick out of using his privilege to obtain the benefits by sending him in “solo & single” to deal with women service providers and sales clerks. She’ll also get an ego boost out of things like watching the soccer moms swoon and flirt on the sidelines when he coaches kids teams.

The biggest benefit though is that their girlfriends and wives treat them better than women typically treat their boyfriends and husbands, lots better, which is another thing that they think is normal until they see it, and then they can’t unsee it.

Spread-Em-Plz · 2025-06-01T22:35:46+00:00

My physique is reaching levels it’s never seen before AND my facial hair is starting to fill in more

Official Tyronelite status here I come, baby!

(Only lite because I am 5’8, but it is what it is)

attendquoi · 2025-06-03T19:12:45+00:00

Why do people equate average with ugly? What I find attractive has nothing to do with who is average in my environment.

RareBasis9710 · 2025-05-31T16:21:30+00:00

Did someone say looks?

Alwaysnthered · 2025-06-04T16:05:27+00:00

There needs to be more discussions on representing "archetypes" and how they impact dating success. Or more importantly, how NOT representing an "archetype" can severely hurt your chances.

an easy example - take a normal average looking guy - throw on a leather jacket/some tats and he now fits the "bad boy archetype".

Another example - throwing on a baseball cap and sports T will make you fit the "jock archetype" - which a lot of women love. just a simple act.

however, if your image does not fit an archetype, you may be completely invisible, despite being put together/dressing well/etc.

example - a fit well groomed guy with no tattoos/regular hairstyle just wearing plain jeans and a fitted t shirt.

I also find it interesting how an archetype can trascend someone's potential appearance naked - example - an overweight guy with a slight belly dressed to represent a "intellectual professor" archetype with a nice blazer/ slick backed hair with some "touch of pepper" grey will be more appealing to women vs a the previous guy I mentioned, even though when the clothes come off the first guy argually looks far more attractive.

Friendly-Echo-6712 · 2025-06-04T16:47:20+00:00

Recently been going through an issue where I had a female coworker (sort of my boss but not really) forced herself on me. TLDR I went into her office to ask a question and before I even knew what was happening she had shut the door and was aggressively groping kissing and touching my dick. Within moments she was bent over and forcing a condom onto me and trying to put me inside her. The issue at hand is I am married and it has put a huge strain on my marriage and wife and she doesn’t quite see it as technically being sexual assault. I’m mainly looking for clarification and an outside opinion because it’s hard to process and talk with anyone personally for fear of them not taking me seriously

BONEPILLTIMEEE · 2025-06-05T14:38:12+00:00

True or false: there are significantly more attractive women than attractive men.

GloomyGloomette · 2025-06-05T23:30:42+00:00

This is exactly what I mean when I say that men do not have more varied preferences than women. It’s not out of the ordinary to see an attractive woman with an ugly man but it’s rare to see an unattractive woman with a really attractive man. When women are at the pinnacle of attractiveness they still give ugly men a chance. When men are at the pinnacle of attractiveness they only give the time of day to women of equal attractiveness or even higher. You’ll never hear a man say “oh I’m with her because she makes me laugh” or “I love her for her personality” or other stupid shit like that. You’ll hear women say that shit all the time though. Men have more room to compensate for their unattractiveness with money, humour or charisma. Most aren’t with women they find attractive. Most men settle, much more than women. Unattractive women have it worse 🤷🏽‍♀️ but I’m the bad guy when I say this.

GloomyGloomette · 2025-06-05T21:45:44+00:00

I’ve come to accept that I am a shallow person. I only like attractive men, the type of attractive that I only see once in a blue moon. The idea of sleeping with someone who doesn’t invoke pure animalistic lust in me sounds awful. I think growing into attraction is real but only when you already have some baseline attraction for that person in the first place. I like tall men, I like pretty boys, and I generally don’t like men over the age of 24/5. Nuance exists here but yeah.

Yes, I know that I’m not that pretty, men regardless of attractiveness level don’t really look my way. I’ll probably “die alone” but I don’t care. I don’t see this as a bad thing. Most people who say they “don’t care about looks” are liars or they are settling, especially men. No I don’t think men and their physical preferences are as varied as they like to lie that they are. I don’t want to be settled for or settle for someone. I think it’s cruel. I’m just mentally torturing myself and my partner. People do this then have the audacity to wonder years down the line why they have a dead bedroom.

People say you should date for “personality” and I get that but I also think it’s a scam. I think Hollywood has sensationalized the hot douchbag jock who treats women like shit while the mid/ugly nerd is just waiting to treat a woman like a princess trope. More often than not the undesirable nerd is just as much of an asshole as the hot jock, he just doesn’t have social capital. I think PPD is a great example of this. Most men are going to cheat if they get the chance. Most men hold women in low regard, the hot men and the ugly men. This is part of the reason why I find pursuing relationships with men to be an uphill battle. Absolutely pink pilling. Might as well only have (hopefully good) sex with the one you find attractive if you get the chance or die a virgin.

ThatBitchA · 2025-05-31T17:09:14+00:00

You're not ugly. You're an asshole.

You're not ugly. You're boring with no personality.

You're not ugly. You lack social skills.

The moral of the story is that you're not ugly. You're just either rude, boring, or lack social skills.

OffTheRedSand · 2025-06-07T07:46:26+00:00

Hot women want ugly men more than hot men want ugly women.

this make sense because men can compensate for their looks in multiple ways, while women can't because looks are all men care about.

Anonsfavourite · 2025-06-06T14:40:58+00:00

Waist-to-hip ratio and shoulder width (narrow vs wide) are the female equivalent to male height. A woman may not get rejected for having either but men go feral for women with a tiny waist and if you don't have wide shoulders (they signify manliness - not being offensive I have VERY wide shoulders). It's also the only thing a woman can't change like men's height. Wide shoulders and a wide ribcage can't be rectified in the gym or with diet.

Title	LOOKS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREAD
Author	AutoModerator
Upvotes	4
Comments	301
Date	May 31, 2025 4:00 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1l00jcu/looks_weekly_discussion_thread/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/looks-weekly-discussion-thread.1553583 https://theredarchive.com/post/1553583

Comments

2