Men are incompatible with long term partnership

Cute_Contribution480 · 2026-07-07T09:12:52+00:00

Marriage is truly a gamble. You think you got a spouse with your values, religion and upbringing, but that doesn’t guarantee if they stay with you till the end or leave.

AikenDrumstick · 2026-07-07T09:35:40+00:00

Good god. As a formerly promiscuous man who is now decades into a happy, monogamous relationship, it’s a shock to find out that I don’t exist!

Oh well. I guess I had a good run. I’ll just vanish in a puff of your unassailable pronouncements, I guess. Byeee!

Lacunaethra · 2026-07-07T09:18:07+00:00

Men aren't a hivemind, many of them value character over looks and can resist temptations.

Emotionally immature, superficial men (and women) are incompatible with happy long term partnerships.

Naebany · 2026-07-07T09:10:58+00:00

Yes we like variety, but mature men prefer stability over variety.
Women are not attracted to gaining weight or getting bald and wrinkly either. Silver foxes are rare, that's not a rule. Men have wife googles and still appreciate aging woman if she gave him his best years
Some are some don't. But this thread was about long term partnership, not about having kids. You don't have to have them.
Generalization. Some men cheat. Some women cheat.
Some men do. Some women are also immature and prone to cheating. Pick better.

Lemon_gecko · 2026-07-07T09:17:32+00:00

This is low effort, but i will comment simply because i recently was on a lecture about human behavior.

Monogamy as we know it now is kind of recent in human history. Marriage was needed as political and economical alliance. Before that or in other societies humans mostly practiced serial monogamy. Men and women became couple for about 4 +- years, enough to produce a child, to care for them when they are the most vulnerable, and when a child stops being helpless the couple usually separated and found new one. children were seen as tribe children, not personally someone's. But men were monogamous at this time because attraction is one thing, but evolutionary we also need to ensure that child will live, and that has better chances when father puts resourses too.

Then there were other societies. I think in some china communities a woman and a man agreed to have some relationship, which means he basically just visited her at night and when she had a child it was raised by her family, and a child didn't know a father, only uncles.

Then there were slavic societies, pre-cristian. And the most sought after women were women with children. That was attractive.

So what men tell now about themselves is not some their innate qualities. It's simply culture and mindset.

Edit to add. Women also like variability, it's also evolution. Men like this misconception about chad, but in reality women had to give their children different genes to give better chances that some of them survive. Because if they produce children only with one man and there will be some epidemic in the next couple of years and all children have some vulnerability - all die. But if they have different set of genes and immune system - some might actually survive. It's unpredictable.

TankfarmMurdock · 2026-07-07T09:22:02+00:00

The general human trend towards monogamy shows otherwise, but, ok bro.

Gravel_Roads · 2026-07-07T11:47:16+00:00

No, those are not universal male behaviors.

If you took a moment to look at reality, rather than the hyperbolic ramblings of men who aren’t dating anyone and don’t really know what you do in a relationship, you would see thousands of men around you who are nothing like the goofy character in your head

Gloomy-Steak-4015 · 2026-07-07T14:46:39+00:00

Hard disagree. Boning random chicks gets old.

abaxeron · 2026-07-07T09:21:58+00:00

Women initiate 2/3rds of divorces and the majority of breakups in times when men do more chores than ever, and for every extra hour of domestic labor that an average wife still does somewhat more of (because she is at home after her part-time employment while the husband is at a 2-month-long business trip), the average husband brings in an hourly wage of a cybersecurity engineer. 2% of children in intact families are raised by unaware non-fathers. Women are more likely to self-report having cheated on their husbands in 18-29 age bracket; boomer stats are irrelevant. We do not accept constructive criticism or arguments built on romcom TV series tropes.

Gemini_zyx · 2026-07-07T10:13:11+00:00

Men are not all as superficial as you seem to think. Certainly there are shallow men, and the way dating culture works, especially apps, tends to highlight or re-enforce this but its not true. There is enough evidence from men in long term relationships to show it cant be a catch all rule.

ta06012022 · 2026-07-07T12:09:09+00:00

Some men.
Some men.
Some men.
Some men.
Some men.
Some men.

Lysa_Bell · 2026-07-07T09:25:55+00:00

I think most of these things are not gendered and more based on peoples personalities. The issue is that a lot of people aren't honest about themselves and who they are and what they actually want. They still follow certain expectations set by society instead of honestly reflect on what they truly want. Then they end up in situations where they are miserable and drag others down too. I think some people are made for long term relationships. They enjoy the commitment and security. And some people are serial monogamous where they enjoy monogamy for a certain amount of time with the same partner. And some people are not monogamous and rather keep their flexibility and engage with new people constantly. And some people dont want relations at. There are so many forms of this and it would be better if we could all be more honest and open about ourselves and what we want instead of pretending to be something we aren't just for this weird society approval.

TermAggravating8043 · 2026-07-07T10:23:04+00:00

Monogamy is not supposed to be about the individual, it’s about society.

Society creates couples to build reliable safe homes to raise kids together in. Men and women are supposed to pair up, reproduce and take care of their offspring and future leaders of the village. Human babies are literally the most vulnerable creatures on our planet and take years to grow before they are capable of looking after themselves, therefore it’s selfish when an individual that wants a family etc puts his own selfish desires as a priority and expects females to work around him and society to keep him

IcyTrapezium · 2026-07-07T10:56:46+00:00

Basically everyone likes variety and yet most people are socially serially monogamous.
Youth is attractive on everyone and to everyone. There is a reading Hollywood leading men typically have many desires in common including being young. But people tend to also prefer to be with people near their age. There is a reason Jeff Bezos married a woman in her mid-fifties.
And woman like saggy skin on men? Refer to the above.
Men and women cheat but most men and women do not cheat.
Yeah a lot of men and women don’t want to grow up. But many of us do.
Men do a lot more household chores these days just as women contribute a lot more financially these days.

MarioWilson122 · 2026-07-07T20:06:21+00:00

I think you're lumping all men together and treating those behaviors as though they're universal, when they're clearly not. Some men absolutely cheat or chase variety, but plenty don't, even when they have opportunities.

As for men being attracted to youth and signs of fertility, that's not exactly some hidden revelation. Women also have preferences they select for, whether that's height, confidence, status, ambition, or financial stability. Both sexes have evolved preferences, even if they aren't identical.

Regarding pregnancy and aging, attraction can certainly change over time for some people, but that doesn't mean men automatically abandon their wives because they age or have children. If that were true, long-lasting marriages would barely exist.

On the point about temptation, I also think it's understandable that some men value variety more than women on average given the much higher male sex drive and the fact that many men have to work extremely hard just to have dating options in the first place. If a man finally reaches a point where he has opportunities with multiple women, it's not surprising that temptation can be stronger for him. That doesn't excuse cheating, but it does help explain why it happens.

As for equal partnerships, that depends entirely on the couple. There are plenty of marriages where men contribute substantially both financially and around the home. Reducing divorce to "men don't do enough" ignores the many other reasons relationships break down, including incompatibility, financial stress, unrealistic expectations, poor communication, and infidelity from either partner. The reality is much more complex than placing the blame primarily on men.

mystoryismine · 2026-07-07T09:19:15+00:00

Women also want variety. Fyi. Married women do cheat.
Women also value appearances and are not attracted to ageing men.
Lol. Yep many women are choosing not to get pregnant either. Who says a child is needed for a long term partnership? Can't comment more on this since there's no male pregnancy.
Women also fall for temptation. In fact women have more chances. Just look at the men the Red Uncle is able to score. Imagine if they're a real lady instead.
A lot of women have princess syndrome. Never grow up also.
🤷🏻‍♀️

So what's your point? Making heteroesexual marriages illegal? Only allow women to marry women?

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Barely-moral · 2026-07-07T12:58:45+00:00

They like variety that one woman cannot quench

Most men will never be attractive enough to get that variety so this point only applies in a meaningful actionable way to a minority of men.

They are not attracted to signs of aging that is inevitable to happen over time

If she is a living adult female she will be attractive enough to most men. Some men would even ignore the lack of one of those traits.

They are also not attracted to the effects of pregnancy (saggy breasts, stretch marks, loose stomach skin)

See above.

Men fall for temptation. They are opportunistic cheaters who often fall for any woman giving them attention.

Most men get so little attention that they still remember the time and old grandma called them handsome 30 years ago. This point only applies in a meaningful actionable way to a minority of men. Most men will never have an opportunity.

A lot of men have Peter Pan syndrome, where they never want to grow up and have a perpetual fear of missing out on hookups. This results in affairs and midlife crisis. Hooking up with younger colleagues, abandoning their families etc.

Same as above. This does not apply to most men. Just to a minority. Most men are well aware that the only way they will get a pseudo constant access to sex is to grow up and commit to someone.

Men are unwilling to have equal partnership within marriage and families always contibuting less to household duties. This leads to resentment and then divorce.

It is not an equal partnership. The man has to change significant aspects of who he is and what he does for a living just to get the first date. If all a man asks for is chores she is getting the good side of the deal.

Fine-Double6335 · 2026-07-07T17:35:38+00:00

I’m getting a clue about the kind of men you’re used to…
1) not true. For the most part at least. Men generally dislike the courtship and dating stage and settle down when they get married. The point of marriage is to secure regular sex. Men who enjoy and are proficient in dating just don’t get into a relationship.

2) this is true but age also decreases men’s sex drive, so it kind of evens out.

3) true, except for the breast part. Men usually like bigger breasts.

4) maybe true, but most men are too clueless to see the indicators of interest or never bother pursuing because it isn’t reciprocal. And many men love their wives and are loyal as a principle. Most men value loyalty.

5) I don’t know what Peter Pan syndrome is supposed to mean. Men have hobbies and interests. And they like sports and being entertained. I don’t know how this got mixed up with cheating or mid life crisis. Most men are at the peak of their careers in their 30’s and 40’s so getting a nice car or watch is normal isn’t it?

6) I can kind of agree with this. But I’d say it depends on income. Like if the man is making 70% or more of the income then him doing less at home makes sense. But if the income is equal for both partners then so should the house work. I think most men have a tendency to only look at their work as “real work”.

harmonica2 · 2026-07-07T19:32:03+00:00

Im attracted to my gf even more now compared to 5 years ago when I met her but is that unusual?

LopsidedPen9859 · 2026-07-08T15:31:30+00:00

Women have the same issues, they're just more polite about it.

This comes off as a vent about a man in your personal life where you're using the rest of us as a piñata.

I'm not sure how stereotyping an entire gender is itself compatible with a long term relationship either.

That's gonna stack up into a death by a thousand cuts thing. And if a man can stick that out, he's the one more suited for a long term relationship.

To say nothing of basic data around the sustainability of relationships by sexual orientation.

Gay men = longest lasting

Straights = in the middle

Lesbians = fastest to break up

Women have higher expectations typically and thus they're very easily disappointed.

Men? Lawn chair in the living room, Xbox, air mattress, microwave, and we good. You're fine not doing much for us.

JollyBowler2510 · 2026-07-08T19:49:58+00:00

I do think it depends on their emotions, I only say this because it took one little thing to piss my dad off and make him want to cheat on my mom, it also depends on maturity as well.
This is very much true, that's why there's so many Leonardo's out here. But this is still another one that has to do with maturity and how they were raised (a lot of the time).
They want their "heir," they dont care how they get it, everyone is expendable and they'll always do what suits them first, nothing more, nothing less.
This guy on a podcast even admitted this, said it was the thought that it might "feel different" that led them to entertain cheating.
1 ties in to this as well.
Yup, because their mothers babied them and never made them do anything, so they think their wives should be "Wonder Woman." And a good majority, don't deserve Wonder Woman. Nor do women want to anymore.

MoneyTrees2018 · 2026-07-29T12:42:46+00:00

The only ones that could be attributed to men is 4 and 6. But 4 typically comes into play when women stop showing sexual interest in their partners.

Men are typically fine with aging and changing bodies.

I'd argue that women are incompatible with long term partnership when comparing lesbian divorce and gay men divorce rates.

The big factor is women's lower libido in general

ShiniTheM · 2026-07-07T10:07:18+00:00

Nah.

JMoon33 · 2026-07-07T11:33:43+00:00

I can't speak for others, but LTR is working well for us.

Our relationship is open
Yes I am
We're children
No need to cheat, the relationship is open
We Peter Pan together
That's not true for me, I love to do the groceries, cook almost every meal, do the house maintenance, take care of the pets, etc. She does the cleaning, laundry, takes care of the plants, etc. It's pretty fair.

MaxAuri · 2026-07-07T11:47:19+00:00

Men are not monolith. Some men never settle and continue hookups. Some want peace. Some want stability.

If you think that all men are like you described, it probably means you pick this kind of men and ignore others.

Ok-Establishment1480 · 2026-07-07T10:40:06+00:00

Minority of men are but the vast majority are fully content with a cozy familial life, especially once they hit the wall. This idea that men are these rabid pillaging beasts is bullshit, that's a particular biological/social type, most aren't.

By-George- · 2026-07-07T10:20:50+00:00

Yawn, speak for yourself OP.

Some men aren’t capable for, or compatible with sustaining long term sexual partnerships. Just as some women aren’t capable for, or compatible with sustaining long term sexual partnerships. This isn’t a sex divide, this is simply inherent in the behaviour of some individuals regardless of their sex.

Some men are not quenched with the variety they share while being with one woman, while some men are quenched by that. Which also applies to women.

Some men are not attracted to signs of aging, just as some men are fine with it. Which also applies to women as well.

Some men aren’t attracted to the effects of pregnancy, while some men are. Not forgetting that there are plenty of women who have had children who don’t get stretch marks or have saggy tits etc.

Some men fall for temptation and some don’t, which also applies to women, with some women and some men being opportunistic cheaters and some not at all.

Some men remain immature despite growing older, and some men mature as they age, which also applies to women as well.

Some men are unwilling to share equal marital partnerships, while some men are willing to do so. Which also applies to women as well.

Dull_Code_4168 · 2026-07-07T10:45:10+00:00

>They are also not attracted to the effects of pregnancy (saggy breasts, stretch marks, loose stomach skin)

I think men recognise that happens and it's attractive in some ways. Most men don't need to be married to a porn star with a "perfect" body

BobtheArcher2018 · 2026-07-07T12:10:26+00:00

Both genders are incompatible with long term partnership. And yet almost all societies have forced it on people, creating countless individual tragedies that everyone was fully aware of. You can see it in literature and art.

So why would they do this? Did they enjoy pain? Has technology magically eliminated whatever needs it was that made past societies inflict this on people?

wtknight · 2026-07-07T14:19:41+00:00

They are compatible, though, because they are not as picky as women. Men will still get horny and erect for their flabby wives with stretch marks when younger women are not as option, and even sometimes when they are. Hence, the number of men who have fathered many children with one woman, especially in more traditional or poorer cultures.

Flaneur50 · 2026-07-07T14:48:49+00:00

There's a decent amount of research suggesting women become bored with monogamy faster than men do, often within 1-4 years of marriage.

Grow_peace_in_Bedlam · 2026-07-07T14:56:27+00:00

Nowadays, women cheat more than men. Let's stop relying on Silent Gen and Boomer statistics to describe Millennial and Gen Z sexual behavior.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2026-07-07T15:13:59+00:00

Most but not all. And women are willing to look for and compete over the minority of men who aren’t

Intelligent-Insight · 2026-07-07T15:26:37+00:00

Basically all your points are the same one - one woman cannot quench men's thirst for other women.

But you are wrong, of course she can. She just needs to help bring other women sometimes or at least be open to it. Done. That solves all 6 of your issues. And yes, there would be no need to abandon family/leave - why would he? That one woman would be irreplaceable.

kerfufflewhoople · 2026-07-07T15:52:49+00:00

This is a very broad generalisation. Yes, many men fit that stereotype but they’re hardly the majority.

I would say that the man who do fit that stereotype are the ones with more narcissistic personality traits and high in impulsivity.

Those types have a high tendency to experience FOMO, which ultimately drives them to jump on every opportunity that presents, bypassing their own sense of morality.

The narcissistic undertones are also what makes them hold beliefs such as “I deserve better” - as in, a younger, more attractive and carefree partner, or “I don’t deserve this” - such as their spouse’s changes after childbirth, lowered libido or the experience of having to support a partner during a serious illness.

Zabadoodude · 2026-07-07T17:38:23+00:00

Stats show that men and women now cheat at similar rates, so all the points about needing variety and losing attraction to their partner can equally apply to women.

Women tend to have higher standards for housework and tend to do more of it, but men generally bring in more money. Co-habitting also makes both chores and finances easier, since the costs and the work doesn't double while the number of people contributing does, so even if things are a little unequal they are still usually easier than living alone.

Marriage is a bit of a gamble, and will depend on finding a good, compatible person you can build a life with. There are some men and women that would make good husbands and wives, there are also some terrible ones

TheColdWoman · 2026-07-07T17:48:35+00:00

Nah, men and women like variety.

Many men are great.

70sJungleBush · 2026-07-07T12:59:41+00:00

There’s not even a debate to be had here. You are obviously wrong.

There are literally billions of men throughout history who have remained loving and committed partners through decades of a marriage that only ended when one partner died.

Numerous-Month-7688 · 2026-07-07T09:23:04+00:00

dont worry other women want your chud husband as much as you do. that a lot of time barely. use it like leverage.

No-Rough-7390 · 2026-07-07T11:09:24+00:00

Clearly you’ve never heard of wife goggles.

If a woman stays pleasant, available, and doesn’t pull the pin on the fat grenade (as evidenced by the most recent glp-1 study), she has a very good chance of having a great relationship.

Also, this constant fear mongering that me regress in terms of their values or standards once they are in an LTR is beyond antiquated. Catch up to the modern world.

Comments

1 ties in to this as well.