Men trying to speedrun getting dates in non-inherently-date-focused spaces ruined it for everyone

DankuTwo · 2026-08-04T04:15:38+00:00

Have you ever spoken to someone over the age of about 30?

Ask your parents or grandparents where they met. I guarantee you NONE of them met in pre-approved date-seeking spaces.

Talking to my grandmother’s cousin (no idea what that makes her to me) and her friends they nearly all met at work. One of the (many) places now frowned upon.

The problem is that we’ve over-regulated relationships and now wonder why there are fewer relationships.

JustSpace807 · 2026-08-04T00:41:13+00:00

Honestly, at this point men should bow out of pursuer role. If women want to pick up the slack and actually effort, great! If not who F-n cares at this point. Everyone can be single.

Feeling_Ad_1034 · 2026-08-04T01:35:40+00:00

Considering I have yet to see an 8 or above go to the gym and not have a 5+ minute long conversation with at least one guy, I'm going to have to conclude OP has not stepped foot in a gym.

PrecisionHat · 2026-08-04T12:50:24+00:00

Is your whole point basically "men shouldnt hit on women just because they want to fuck them?"

OmoshiroiKudamono · 2026-08-04T00:57:10+00:00

It's the 2026 dating era.

The man doesn't want to waste time and risk being the "safe man."

While he tries to wait long term, she probably has 100s of Pookies and Tyrones who didn't have to wait.

It's not the wait itself, but why do I have to play the long game when Ray-Ray didn't have to. In the my body my choice world, it pretty much means casual sex with the top men while the rest are "safe husbands."

Ok_Use7 · 2026-08-04T00:07:29+00:00

This kind of unfairly paints men who are single but not looking for relationships and relies on dramatics that negate nuances.

There is a lot of overlap between your examples.

>Man goes to gym

>Man lifts and exercises regularly over the course of months

>Over time, he recognizes the regulars that show up when he does.

and this

>Man goes to gym

>Scans the floor for babes.

>Sees a woman he'd fuck.

are the exact same thing. The first example gets the innocent benefit of the doubt while the second is portrayed as a scumbag even though in reality the first example is doing the exact same thing as the second.

And even if you are just trying to fuck, then this

>They both start up conversations with one another, when they're near one another and not in the middle of exerting sets

if far more likely the approach than just immediately hitting on someone.

growframe · 2026-08-04T10:04:28+00:00

If she likes me the second one will work. So what reason is there not to just do the second one until it works? Why play the long game if the short one works?

Hungry-Plantain-3315 · 2026-08-04T00:06:04+00:00

I feel like behaving like the former should be obvious.

Like don’t be surprised that you can’t get a single date with a woman or find one to have sex with you because you’re unable to act like a civilized human being.

Could you explain how the latter behavior ruins dating for others? You mention it in your title but then don’t explain it.

Expensive-Care1746 · 2026-08-04T00:33:28+00:00

No, its just American cultural brainwashing of women. There’s alot of countries you can do the 2nd option in and it’s not treated like you are a piece of shit for doing so. It’s only the conditioned misandry of gynocentric culture that treats the 2nd as inherently hostile and extremely negative.

Additional-Case4392 · 2026-08-04T00:01:15+00:00

No free boyfriend energy.

Sensitive_Housing_85 · 2026-08-04T06:45:33+00:00

The issue here is that you assume approaches in general are just natural, one person usually has intention, and its usually men, but you know what, what places do you think they shouldn't, because at this point, i think men should stop approaching, it's not like women want men approaching anyway

Ok-Ninja-8165 · 2026-08-04T12:48:51+00:00

Maybe in second case man think that there's interest and try to be proactive because women never do anything?

Internal_Writing5485 · 2026-08-04T00:03:39+00:00

Who cares. If you are attractive and have game you can hit on women anywhere at anytime and they will love it.

Just like they will love gagging on some dicks and others are just utility dildos.

grillopie · 2026-08-04T00:00:57+00:00

not sure how its ruined. from the womans perspective, in this scenario with 2 different guys, guy 1 would make small talk, guy 2 would hit on her immediately. to her, she immediately knows which is which.

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captaindestucto · 2026-08-10T23:48:22+00:00

Demanding people only look in pre-approved dating spaces is as much the problem as men boorishly hitting on every woman (which is the minority).

What the hell is a 'dating focused' space anyway? Speed dating? Dating meetups? How many people would regularly attend those.

divingrose77101 · 2026-08-04T06:17:06+00:00

The comments on this post (and most of the posts in this group) made by males give me a very clear picture of young people who want a quick fix for everything. Y’all have grown up with immediate gratification at every turn. Born with smartphones in your hands, you’ve never been bored or had to wait for something.

Need to lose weight but don’t want to diet? Ozempic. Want big muscles but don’t want to work out every day? Peptides. Want to make money but not actually build or create anything? Day trading. There is a cheat code for every problem that used to be solved with grit and determination.

There is a video game “if I can just solve the puzzle I can unlock the prize” kind of mindset to these red pill blue pill theories of romantic interaction that seeks to categorize complex human beings into easily digested sound bites and theories that are tragically removed from healthy human interaction.

The males suggesting getting to know another human for several months before you try to insert your penis into her most intimate parts is a chore and burden have lost the whole point.

Edit: grammar (probably needs more)

Title	Men trying to speedrun getting dates in non-inherently-date-focused spaces ruined it for everyone
Author	GGMcThroway
Upvotes	19
Comments	244
Date	August 3, 2026 11:55 PM UTC (1 week ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1veu62z/men_trying_to_speedrun_getting_dates_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-trying-to-speedrun-getting-dates-in-non.1631800 https://theredarchive.com/post/1631800

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