Most dating problems can be solved by a looksmax or putting oneself out there more.

Ohmaygahh · 2022-04-12T16:59:10+00:00

No amount of looksmaxxing or putting yourself out there is going to overcome the fact of your proximal population sex ratio, and that aspect is king above all else. .

On the macro scale, moving to a city with better ratios/more populated, then on the micro scale, frequenting circles and social spaces in which the typical woman found there finds your racial/socioeconomic type attractive. Most dating problems can be mitigated with that first.

OrdinaryFarmer · 2022-04-12T12:21:34+00:00

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TheSnowyPlover · 2022-04-12T23:15:25+00:00

Disagree—I’m the guy that looksmaxed and put myself out there and it did marginally help in the sense that approaching 100 women will yield more success instances compared to 10 even if your success rate stays the same

The whole reason I gravitated toward TRP was because I was a tall, traditionally attractive, in good shape guy with a college education and a good job who nevertheless had limited success with women—in other words I figured out that problem was some combination of my personality and how I interacted with women by process of elimination of everything else…once I found TRP and implemented the principles in a “fake it til you make it” sort of way things with women improved dramatically

Honestly a lot of objectively attractive men self-sabotage by either worshipping/submitting to women or dating based on the nonsense they picked up from movies and popular culture about how men should be sensitive, emotional creatures that profess their undying love.

dietwindows · 2022-04-12T14:15:33+00:00

Ive grown to find human interactions mostly disgusting. Well, maybe grown is the wrong way of putting it, since i was pretty loathsome of them when I was younger as well.

Would my life improve with conversation skills? Probably. But that's ignoring why I don't have them to begin with, and treating it like an item I forgot to pickup from the grocery.

TermAggravating8043 · 2022-04-12T14:14:21+00:00

Even if they get put in the “friend zone” they’re still meeting new people through them, it’s not a complete fail, it’s an opportunity to learn from and still meet others from this person

Digedag · 2022-04-12T12:37:30+00:00

This can usually be solved by some weight loss, a better haircut etc.

One does not simply fix the bone structure and also, hair loss is a thing.

Frosty-Gate-8094 · 2022-04-13T08:41:45+00:00

Height is an important criterion in a man's attractiveness...

Tell me how a 5'3" man 'lookmax' himself to become attractive?

He simply can't. No matter what he tries. Even if he learns to hold a conversation, he will most likely be friendzoned.

That blows a hole through your theory.

If a man is unattractive, he is unattractive.. Lookmaxing may make a average man above average.
But if he is 'below-average' he simply cant 'lookmax'. No matter what..
(Below average is where ~50% would lie in the general population)

Fusiontron · 2022-04-12T17:07:24+00:00

I agree that proximity and looks are what matter most in getting opportunities to date.

Guys also need to know their niche.

I will never be attractive to a broad cross section of women but can be 7+/10 to women in my niche.

Don't pick up hobbies just for the sake of meeting women, instead make the hobbies you already have more social.

bison5595 · 2022-04-12T21:54:31+00:00

You're kinda right. If you aren't attracting the women you want, you must get in the best shape as possible. Update your wardrobe, and make sure your grooming is on point. You also have to cold approach alot more, and take better pictures for your dating profile. The problem with all of this, is that for most guys, that means fundamentally changing who they are as a person, and we tell people they should haven't to change just to get women.

mf9769 · 2022-04-12T14:43:39+00:00

To a degree. What really matters isn’t what you do, but why you do it. The intent. If the reason you do these two things is to help you with attracting the opposite sex, then it never will. Here’s why: when you set a goal, like losing, say, 30 pounds, you also imply that there will be a reward at the end. If that reward is “attention from the opposite sex” and it doesn’t happen (which is certainly possible), you’ll be upset and demoralized. Why? Because you did all that hard work, and the promised reward wasn’t there. Look at all the incels out there complaining that no matter what they do, they can’t get a girl. Well, no shit sherlock: you’ve promised yourself a reward that you can’t guarantee exists and because your reason for putting in that work was that reward, you now feel that work was pointless. The reason for losing weight should be “I want to be healthier and enjoy looking at myself in the mirror.” The reason for learning how to hold a convo should be “it’s good for my future prospects in life, like employment and friendship”. They’re reasons and rewards you’re guaranteed to get, and when you’re happy and confident in yourself instead of upset and demoralized, the opposite sex can see that and theyll be comfortable around you.

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wtknight · 2022-04-12T12:19:47+00:00

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ItsOverBoyosLDAR · 2022-04-13T10:23:25+00:00

Looksmaxxing or putting yourself out there is not going to change your height, race or location.

2022-04-13T12:58:11+00:00

Looksmaxxing for what? You looksmatch in the gym and fashion department so you qualify for that overweight women who is objectively completely inferior to you but is considered comparable to you because people have such a disorted view on what average is for both genders?

fruitycoolwhip · 2022-04-12T12:56:42+00:00

Most SEX problems yeah, but there’s way more that goes into dating than just looks. A lot of people have boring personalities, bad communication skills, selfish priorities, etc. and those sorts of issues will not be fixed by just improving looks and putting yourself out there

It also depends on what your dating goals are I guess. You’ll have way more “success” if you only date casually since there are fewer goals to be met

roguish_rogue · 2022-04-12T15:06:16+00:00

Many dating problems can be solved by reading a few relevant books, guys are so clueless and popular culture/media is not helping.

BidProfessional8612 · 2022-06-23T20:30:47+00:00

The end consequence of being a short , undesirable male, in all of its finality is suicide. Now that raises a few other questions as well , such as should you pass your angst off as punishment or by commiting something like a mass atrocity so to speak or just end your own singular suffering?? I am an advocate of anything that an individual feels is right for them. Sorry I realized I didnt even read the question lol, but im confident that this is a substansive opinion none the less.

jayval90 · 2022-04-12T18:29:44+00:00

Most dating problems have nothing to do with stuff like this. They have everything to do with a lack of desire, or a feeling of disgust at doing stuff like this just to impress someone. Behind every emotionally frustrated inc*l or feminist cat lady is a person who ultimately decided that the juice isn't worth the squeeze.

TermAggravating8043 · 2022-04-12T13:49:50+00:00

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NewToThisThingLad · 2022-04-12T16:20:10+00:00

Sure, and fat people wouldn't be fat if only they stopped eating. Most people's problem isn't external, it's internal.

Gigamon2014 · 2022-04-12T18:29:41+00:00

Pretty much. But reddit is mostly made up of idiots who make things harder for themselves. People will talk about personality as if there isn't a wealth of social dynamics and body language books out there. Most people choose to suffer. Let them.

Usual_Entry_6921 · 2022-04-12T21:05:50+00:00

I’m under the influence of illegal research chemicals connected to covid via dea criminals and ugh?

I can’t go to the gym because no adhd meds I’m to uncomfortable all the time

Even if I had adhd meds I’d be plagued by homosexual torture via criminal research chemicals connected to civid dea agent number two snitvh for trump admin is supposed to be handling this but?

Idk where the bears are when the reverse is coming or how bad the flashbacks will be or if I’ll have to call up Chinese noriega and 25mg Fent💉 dose myself so no one can bring me back

That’s the plan for me 25mg Fent injection so I can die pain free and go out how I want to go out

enoesraht · 2022-04-12T23:25:09+00:00

"I believe"… Nice way to start your sentence, plenty of people are at the apex of what they could be lookswise without surgery, know how to dress and are physically fit but will never get a date.

HazyMemory7 · 2022-04-13T15:02:03+00:00

For men you can only looks max so much. Most of it comes down to height and facial aesthetics.

BigDudBoy · 2022-04-13T16:38:00+00:00

With regards to looksmaxxing: Male attractiveness is largely determined by largely unchangeable characteristics. Height is an obvious one, facial bone structure, masculine frame, having massive amounts of money or fame (both very hard to aquire). I'd still argue that looksmaxxing is the best thing to do to improve men's chances with women, but you can't change things too much since most of it is determined at birth.

Putting oneself out there: this really depends on willingness and luck. I'd argue that the most effective way to get laid will be doing drugs and hanging out with girls who do drugs, but that is off the table for a lot of men. There is increasingly more pushback against interacting with women in public, so you're basically left with bars and nightclubs. You can try to join activity focused clubs but the chances of there being a potential partner there are low (they would have to be a similar age, attractive to you, single, and potentially interested in you).

Overall, dating problems for men can't really be solved easily due to unchangeable physical traits largely determining attraction and society discouraging any sort of "approaches". This is all compounded by the prevalence of social media and online dating, where a girl can find a guy to meet up with in 1 day without any real effort on her part.

M_LaSalle · 2022-04-13T20:42:23+00:00

One of the primal errors of this sub is some version of "if only they would do ____________ then their dating problems would be solved."

Now, you can fill in that blank with whatever you like.

"Lower their standards"

"Put themselves out there more"

"Looksmax"

"Lift, bruh, and learn game"

"Take the dating course taught by noted poon expert Crunch Hardtack"

"Lay off the goddam porn and video games once in a while and maybe take a shower and change your underwear at least once in a fortnight."

"Get a job and move out of your parents basement"

And none of this is necessarily bad advice. It may be well meant, and there may be some merit to it. But can we agree that dating problems, whatever their cause, rarely avail themselves of simple, easily implemented solutions?

OP's advice will be good in at least some cases, but not all dating problems will be found to have the same root causes.

ResponsibilityKey427 · 2022-04-13T21:23:27+00:00

What if the guy is balding, 5’3, old, recessed jaw?

OneComfortable3508 · 2022-04-14T00:51:20+00:00

OP is right for the most part. There are things that women are observing beyond looks and pleasant conversation at all times. Any quality woman can smell out a bitter, toxic, frustrated, unstable guy almost instantly. Never doubt a quality woman’s ability to sniff out not-rightness on a guy.

Grappleheart · 2022-04-14T19:51:31+00:00

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kingjoe64 · 2022-04-16T11:02:28+00:00

Can't win if you don't play

uvizachan · 2022-05-02T02:36:38+00:00

I just want to looksmax. Anything wrong with that?

LiberalRedditAgenda · 2022-06-26T05:00:03+00:00

no L

Title	Most dating problems can be solved by a looksmax or putting oneself out there more.
Author	Grappleheart
Upvotes	35
Comments	165
Date	April 12, 2022 12:04 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/u1xh1f/most_dating_problems_can_be_solved_by_a_looksmax/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/most-dating-problems-can-be-solved-by-a-looksmax.1110225 https://theredarchive.com/post/1110225

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