There's a common goalpost shift where people tell lonely men to "work on themselves", the lonely man responds with the efforts he's made to improve himself, but is then told that his self-improvement doesn't count because it was done with the intent of attracting women which makes it unattractive or something.

This argument makes no sense. Women aren't going to know the precise reason you sought to become more muscular, more fashionable etc. If you believe that those traits are conducive to attracting women, it literally doesn't matter why you initially set out to do so.

It's also worth noting that people rarely have a single reason for doing something. Someone could go the gym for health reasons, but put a bit more effort in because he wants to be more attractive. Are we supposed to believe that women can perfectly determine when a man is 70% motivated by attracting women vs. when he's only 40% motivated by attracting women?

I think most "Women can sense _____" arguments are painfully stupid, but this one really seems like the people saying it don't even believe it. They think "Work on yourself" will decisively end the conversation, because there's no way the slovenly lonely man has already done so. When the lonely man specifies that he has done a lot of self-improvement, they feel like Jack Lemmon at the end of Some Like it Hot, stunned at their trump card being foiled.

But, unlike Lemmon, they try to keep the argument going and concoct the absurd "Well, it doesn't count if you did it to attract women" retort. Nobody's perfect.