Hi, 23M here, just wondering what do girls think and feel about dating a work in progress insecure guy?

I am far from perfect but over the couple years I have been working on my self in nearly all aspects. Going to the gym, getting educated, starting my career, sharpening my wit, learning new hobbies, and trying my best to be a good dude as much as I can manage.

I have lost significant weight, build decent amount of muscle. Recently noticed my abs have elevated slightly from my stomach (Yay!! About time). Currently unemployed, but volunteering at a couple of organisations and studying psychology. I think I have become funnier judging from people’s laughter. Got a dog, yoga, and have maintained an semi-consistent meditation practice. I do a lot reading and writing about philosophy (Stoicism atm), just want to be a better person, and less stupid too. But…

I used to be pretty pathetic in the past. I was quite and unassuming. Had no friends, let alone gf, and kinda sucked academically-maybe not as bad as I think. I was ignored and alienated. Had no direction or ambition. My mental state was bad; social anxiety, low-self esteem, and depressed. I genuinely felt inferior to other people, and felt I couldn’t do anything, and won’t anything be-you get the picture.

I have these issues still, but less, a lot less actually. But the thing I struggle most with is getting my head around someone liking me. I can be aware that a girl might actually be attracted to me (dare I go as far to say love). But I just have hard time believing this. Now, I might object to myself and say “girls give clear signals if they like someone”, if you are doubting it’s probably because they don’t actually like you. But this sounds like the death throes of my past perspective clinging on for dear survival. But it going to take time for me find the better perspective: couple more years probably.

I realise that insecurity can create,mostly likely will create a lot of dysfunction in the relationship. This is largely no fault of anyone, it’s just my perspective hasn’t shifted enough to afford particular cues and patterns of behaviour, thought, and emotions intelligible. It takes time. Basically, I might miss to meet my partners core needs. I know insecurity can lead to maladaptive reactions to things. I tend to sometimes shut down, or become cold but other times I am very responsive. It’s not gonna to be ideal for the first one 😅. Or should I wait till I am better?

So, thoughts?