Why is most dating advice "for men"?

Mrs_Drgree · 2023-05-09T11:13:33+00:00

Discussion posts must be neutral

TurtleDickSlap · 2023-05-09T07:35:36+00:00

Because, generally, women are passive participants in the process. They just have to show up and be willing and receptive. They don't need to understand men because men are the ones that do the work.

Men need to understand women because men are the ones that have to compete for the attention of women among all the other men competing, and not understanding what women like and desire puts a man at a distinct disadvantage.

It's like being an applicant for a job. If three men are going after a job and they're all qualified, it's the man who understands what the company wants that does best in the interview.

iGetBuckets3 · 2023-05-09T05:33:18+00:00

Because dating is not difficult for women. Dating is not something that women do, it is something that happens to them.

Worldly_Piano9526 · 2023-05-09T05:09:19+00:00

Because an unattractive woman can just go to tinder, upload a sub-par photo or two, and still pull hundreds of matches... That isn't even close to what dating is like for guys... I don't even think a Chad will get as much attention as a 3/10 woman.

After beating your head up against a wall for months or years and getting nowhere; most guys are going to eventually look up a tutorial.

Traditional-Bad-4055 · 2023-05-09T05:00:08+00:00

I think it’s is highly dependent on what the query is.

Just looking at “how to get a boyfriend” vs “how to get a girlfriend” shows different results with the trend lines overlapping and a massive spike for “how to get a boyfriend” a few years ago.

“How to get a girlfriend” is a tad more searched this past two years. But both phrases are searched much more than the ones you provided

https://trends.google.com/trends/explore?date=today%205-y&q=Mens%20dating%20advice,Womens%20dating%20advice,How%20to%20get%20a%20boyfriend,How%20to%20get%20a%20girlfriend&hl=en-US&hl=en&tz=420

EDIT: highly suggest you filter by country as well. Just looking at the US and it’s pretty even with maybe 0-5% leaning towards the “how to get a girlfriend” depending on the state

Looks like the UK and Canada get more “how to get a boyfriend” overall at first glance which I thought was surprising

Traditional-Bad-4055 · 2023-05-09T05:15:01+00:00

Adding another comment with this

Just switching to “Dating advice for Women” and “Dating Advice for Men” gives you about equal searches.

I think your query is heavily flawed

Link without your original query:

https://trends.google.com/trends/explore?date=today%205-y&q=Dating%20advice%20for%20women,Dating%20advice%20for%20men&hl=en-US&hl=en&tz=420

Blame_the_Muse · 2023-05-09T05:28:41+00:00

Women look for advice on how to find love, get married, and be good wives, not how to "date"

Treacle-Flimsy · 2023-05-09T07:43:35+00:00

Women simply don't need advice. Their dating problems are either overexaggerated or not something astounding

2abetterwhy · 2023-05-09T08:15:55+00:00

I think most of the stuff has already been said in the comments, especially how virtually any woman, regardless of looks can find a partner (whether it be online, in a bar, church or on the Moon). The three things I'd like to add:

Most content online nowadays is connected to money, and the logic goes like this: more searches = more money -> men = more horny (on average) & unable to get laid at the most random whim = more likely to look for partners & less likely to be successful = more likely to browse blogs, forums and youtube videos on how to find a partner = dating coaches (both men and women) produce more male-oriented content = more money...and so on in circles.
The current social climate and laws protecting women are insane which has men absolutely terrified of women. More than that, most male values are starting to disappear and most men nowadays have absolutely zero clue what to do.
The internet is oversexualized and full of women (think Instagram twerkers, egirls, Onlyfans, beach chicks, Asian cheerleader girls and whatnot). So this compounds well with men being the (on average) "horny" gender from point #1 above.

TL;DR - men will throw way more money at relationship advice.

Oli_love90 · 2023-05-09T06:25:48+00:00

I think when it’s implied that you have to do the chasing then more guys will pop up with advice, theories, recommendations vs. women who are given advice on how to make yourself attractive to whomever is chasing. We don’t continually need that advice - society lets us know when we’re not succeeding.

Often when a women isn’t having success they’re introspective and may just stop dating, hang out till someone likes them or they’ve done enough work to figure themselves out.

Confident_Bug4944 · 2023-05-09T05:12:36+00:00

For the same reason bargain budget8ng advice isn't given to rich people

ComfortableOk5003 · 2023-05-09T06:34:26+00:00

Women put far less effort in dating. Women just get approached, men typically are the ones moving the courting/relationship along.
Blue pill/parental advice to most sons growing up is HORRIBLE
Women more often have an attitude of take me as I am, where men are more likely to realize some work needs to be done
Men are typically problem/solution oriented…women typically just want to vent and etc. Men realize there’s a problem…try to help out others

Lovers691 · 2023-05-09T05:23:54+00:00

Women are the ones that get approached and even if a woman is fat and unattractive provided she doesn't have a literal physical disability, she will get a boyfriend, get dating app dates and get approached by some men.

Specialist-Action-33 · 2023-05-09T06:13:03+00:00

A lot of men just never actually learned and try to emulate off what they see on tv and movies, expecting the same results (ie. "Keep chasing her and eventually she'll give in")Women don't have to put in much effort, while the minimum for them is someting to the extent of to just look good and don't be psycho.

Edit: When it comes to advice and the fact that a lot of kids grew up in single parent homes, a lot of men seem to get advice from their moms, which isn't the the most optimal source to get advice from.

noafrochamplusamurai · 2023-05-09T06:13:25+00:00

Because men are the buyers, and women are the product in this equation. This is a function of patriarchy, without it, the system wouldn't work for dating. The thing to keep in mind: women control the dating market, men control the marriage market.

UpstairsValue6799 · 2023-05-09T08:02:14+00:00

Cause idiots like me need it.

Whats the alternative listening and believing the moral psyop that society pushes down my throat?

30 years bro... its not worth it.

EntertainmentOk4042 · 2023-05-09T08:26:40+00:00

Short answer

Men are mentally determinant & not much focused on details

BeepBoop1307 · 2023-05-09T09:35:14+00:00

cuz dating is hella easy for women 9/10

Moneydamjan · 2023-05-09T10:33:39+00:00

most women think they are perfect and dont need advice

Reptheft · 2023-05-09T05:42:15+00:00

Because it's harder for men to get any action at all, and men are largely expected to lead in the early stages of dating.

A woman can simply dress well, go to a social venue, and wait to be approached and charmed. Breaking the ice is a basic part of dating they don't have to learn and get to skip entirely.

Over_North8884 · 2023-05-09T06:44:03+00:00

Women don't need dating advice any more than a rich man needs gold diggers.

neverendingplush · 2023-05-09T06:22:56+00:00

For easy sex i was sleeping with an unattractive woman. I asked her out of curiosity to see her tinder. And it was mind boggling. Here i was questioning my standards, and this woman had hundreds of guys begging for a chance with her. I just didn't get it. Meanwhile I knew I was faaaaaaaar better looking then her, and I didn't even received a tenth of that attention and not near as desperate, still had to put in some leg worth.

Safinated · 2023-05-09T06:34:00+00:00

Because the female equivalent is “hotness advice”

Pathosgrim · 2023-05-09T06:30:36+00:00

Because men have to play "the game"

Salt_Mathematician24 · 2023-05-09T09:27:58+00:00

Because previously, it was all aimed at women. If you look at the fifties, women's mags were filled with advice on how to get a husband, how to please a husband, how to look good for men.

The first 18 years of a woman's life was pretty much spent preparing to be a good wife and mother.

Men just needed an income. They were the agents and women the resource. Women needed men for survival and quality of life.

It's at the point now where women already know how to be attractive, it's sort of already embedded into the culture.

With the advancement of women's rights and women making up pretty much half the workforce and taking on positions of power and excelling in high education, women don't need men anymore. It's optional. So men are now realizing they have to learn to be an attractive mate option in order to get wives and girlfriends instead of it just being default with an income.

This has led to a surge of dating advice for men in recent years, often rife with a lot of confusion and contradictions which are evident of this transition.

Edit: downvotes from the "blame women for everything" crew? At least point out what you didnt agree with lol.

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januaryphilosopher · 2023-05-09T09:02:59+00:00

That fun fact doesn't quite prove what you want it to. Women could just be searching for "dating advice", or indeed more specific or just differently-phrased queries (I've noticed men don't think of different steps there might be to get a girlfriend so much as wanting an overall cheat code, whereas women often think in terms of getting from step x to y to z). They also might not be as likely to use the front page of Google as a resource - books, talking to trusted people, videos and social media searches wouldn't show up here.

odd_cloud · 2023-05-09T09:33:33+00:00

Several reasons. The most important is that dating for men is similar to stand-up comedy or performing music. You need to set up the stage and perform after that. You need to tell stories well, joke here and there, and lead the conversation. It starts from the very beginning: for example, you need a witty phrase to begin a chat in a dating app. For women, dating is dressing well (optional) and showing up. If a girl approaches a guy once in a blue moon, her approach may be as lame as possible. Do you know many women who picked up (or gave up) hobbies/interests solely to be more attractive? Or women who think of prompts for a date conversation?

Then, there are some things in dating which are not really clear. You need to look interested, but not too interested or apathetic. You need to show your sexual interest, but not too much and not too little, and in a subtle way. Your approach must be interesting but not clownish. When do you kiss her or escalate to sex? The correct answer is "when she wants to", which doesn't help that much. So, men read about this stuff. Women can do these things when they want to. Like, a guy wouldn't mind if a girl kissed him 5 minutes into the date or on the third date. It's not too early or too late for him.

Finally, there are rejections. If you are a man, you wake up, eat your rejection cereal and drink your rejection orange juice. Sometimes you need to change yourself significantly to get a date. Women don't have to put significant effort into just getting a date. Some personal experience. A male friend lost his virginity at 25 to a professional. I don't know any women with a similar story.

modidlee · 2023-05-09T09:47:55+00:00

Because women don’t really have to do anything if a guy likes them. A woman can actually like a man and he’ll still need to actually do things to progress things successfully

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-05-09T09:48:33+00:00

I mean I remember back when magazines were a thing (yes, I’m old), women’s and teen girls’ magazines were filled with dating advice. There’s a lot of dating content on social media for women too. It seems women are exposed to dating advice early on without really having to seek it out, from both media and other women. Women also tend to be painfully aware from an early age that the main thing is to look good. So maybe they aren’t searching for it on Google as much because they’ve been bombarded with it in various forms since they were 12?

MotleyCrew1989 · 2023-05-09T10:15:16+00:00

Because everything we might have learned from the previous generaton became obsolete, the dating landscape changed beyond recognition in the last ten years.

anon-sucks · 2023-05-09T10:20:36+00:00

Because in the US, women are often so terrified of rejection they won’t even approach a man.

wtknight · 2023-05-09T10:51:59+00:00

There is all kinds of dating advice for women in magazines like Cosmopolitan. There's actually a lack of it for men, which is why the market is mostly internet based only. Maybe the mainstream men's magazines have some dating advice for men, but these tend to be "Blue Pilled" and non-misogynistic and hence manosphere men don't want to read them.

SecondEldenLord · 2023-05-09T10:52:01+00:00

Because men have to work for their value while women are born with value. A woman doesn't have to work toward becoming a better partner, she just can wait for a man to approach and that's it, she just can either accept him or not. Women's options are so vast and almost endless, they can just wait and let it happen while men cannot just wait and let it happen, they have to go for it.

Title	Why is most dating advice "for men"?
Author	Windmill_flowers
Upvotes	16
Comments	180
Date	May 9, 2023 4:46 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/13cfpyl/why_is_most_dating_advice_for_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-is-most-dating-advice-for-men.1218720 https://theredarchive.com/post/1218720

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