Why not lie about body count?

ashpr0ulx · 2022-02-22T23:31:21+00:00

i wouldn’t lie because:

a. honesty is important to me

b. i want to be with someone i am sexually compatible with

januaryphilosopher · 2022-02-22T23:32:46+00:00

Because it's bad to lie to people and lying to your partner can cause all kinds of problems for your relationship. You want to be able to accept each other for who you are, it's difficult to put on an act all the time and they might have a way to find out eventually. Plus people don't generally want to date others who disapprove of their sexual choices.

livs4dietdrpepper · 2022-02-22T23:49:06+00:00

Because I have a guilty conscience and if we disagree on the importance of n-count, we probably aren’t compatible

flapperfemmefatale · 2022-02-22T23:59:59+00:00

If I have to lie to a guy to get him to like me, I'm better off alone.

houstongradengineer · 2022-02-23T00:17:40+00:00

1) Does no one else but ne realize that lying is exhausting? Remembering the lies, catching yourself from saying the real shit, having to be fake. It's just tiring and no fun.

2) This is coming from a monogomous person who only ever had sex for love and truly wishes to keep it that way... but just sexually speaking, why am I gonna bother pleasuring some- or trust them to pleasure me- if I can't be myself with them? How will I have sexual communication when I can't tell them how I feel and expect them to be courteous? How am I gonna enjoy that sex? How am I gonna look at a man and think "oh yeah, I want his pleasure, that's hot, but fuck his feelings?" How does anyone do that? Why would anyone do that? Idk, not me. Sounds like settling. Not going to put my energy into that, I'll look for the real deal as long as I have hope.

etherealreflection · 2022-02-23T00:51:52+00:00

this topic gets rehashed in here a lot, but a boy or a man has never asked me for my body count before whether it was the first date, a male friend, or a boyfriend. i would be absolutely stunned. is this a unique experience of mine, or are we talking about something that barely ever happens?

Initial_Chemical7121 · 2022-02-23T01:38:14+00:00

Because lying to your partner is bad.

Slipthe · 2022-02-22T23:44:24+00:00

I'm a terrible liar and I'd be neurotic about the truth getting out. Too many loose ends frankly.

But I don't have a high body count so this is hypothetical.

accountantladyreads · 2022-02-23T09:16:46+00:00

Because you cannot build a relationship on a foundation of lies

DonQOnIce · 2022-02-22T23:35:24+00:00

I don’t see a reason to lie because I’m not ashamed.

That’s the main thing. But also it’s not fun to carry on lying in a relationship and I would like to know if a man cared about this because it could indicate we aren’t compatible.

LatterSeaworthiness4 · 2022-02-22T23:43:37+00:00

I just want to know what men are even asking. I’ve never met a man IRL who has asked a woman and none of my friends have either.

Bingobops · 2022-02-23T00:13:23+00:00

Is body count really that important? I know some Muslim men who refuse to marry Muslim women without Hijabs. They think it’s a sign of immodesty and potential future ‘problems’. Or the same with other ethnic people who disapprove of women having short hair, short skirts. They think that’s a sign of being a whore. I’m just not sure where the line is between good girl and potential divorce

LittyKitsune · 2022-02-23T01:09:08+00:00

Because I don't have any issue with my body count lol. Well, in my case a lack thereof.

CrazyBaby8891 · 2022-02-23T13:09:47+00:00

Because everyone owes honesty to whoever she (or he) is with. There's no excuse for deceiving someone like that, even moreso if the other person is inexperienced.

^{And I say this as a woman who waited until marriage.}

Substantial_Wasabi · 2022-02-22T23:36:38+00:00

Theres no reason not to lie as long as you’re clean and dont fuck men from the same social circles. However i don’t date men who ask me mine so it doesn’t matter.

greedyleopard42 · 2022-02-23T00:17:59+00:00

don’t want someone who wouldnt want to be with me because of my count - plus i wouldn’t want them to lie to me about it either. if theirs is like 300 id be reluctant, so they should be given the same opportunity as me to make an informed choice

lissssa-13 · 2022-02-23T00:57:20+00:00

Starting a relationship with lying is a bad idea, and why start a relationship with someone who is going to care about something like that if I don’t? We aren’t aligned if that’s the case

TomorrowsWar · 2022-02-23T01:32:23+00:00

Lying creates distance in a relationship. That being said, your past is your own and you don’t owe anyone anything. Be honest about who you were/are, you don’t need crazy specifics p

awaythrow1234588 · 2022-02-23T02:15:35+00:00

[permanently deleted]

BecretAlbatross · 2022-02-23T04:54:20+00:00

If you have anything resembling a moral compass, you'll feel guilty about lying. You're starting off the relationship with a shadow behind you right off the bad, so essentially, everything that happens after that point happens with the context of knowing you haven't been honest. If you haven't been honest, how are you supposed to demand honesty from your partner. Lying just starts things off badly.

lonely_mixtape · 2022-02-23T05:22:40+00:00

I don't want a relationship built on deception.

BadWrath · 2022-02-23T08:14:42+00:00

I’d appreciate a woman telling me the truth about her body county. My last relationship failed (obviously considering I’m not in it). But I found out her body count was higher than what she told me, and if she would’ve told me the truth from the beginning, I would’ve never pursued anything b/c I knew a relationship with a person possessing that body count would fail.

Body count is a measure of temperance, impulse control, dignity. I’m a very peculiar guy. I don’t move how everyone else moves and get great results out of life because of that, so naturally, if she’s a fit for every guy, she’s probably not a fit for me. I’m not a one-size-fits-all guy. The other side of that is temperance. I need a person that doesn’t determine what’s right and wrong on the basis of their desire, but rather based on some principles they adhere to. This is key because principles hold things together under duress. Principles are what keep you from cheating on ailing partner and destroying your relationship. Principles are what keep you from cheating and destroying your family when the hot guy at work makes a move on you and you’re mad at your husband back at home. Principles keep you focused on goals you and your partner set for your relationship even when you both experience different setbacks in life. Me, being a person that likes stability and wants that for my kids, I can’t have a woman who is unstable. An edifice is only as stable as its foundation, and the second I invite an unstable woman into my life and the life of our potential kids, I jeopardize my future and my children’s, and no responsible man and/or father would do that. Hell, temperance and discipline also extend to health. I need her to be able to tell herself “no” when there’s a dozen glazed donuts sitting in front of her.

chromie96 · 2022-02-23T12:52:36+00:00

Men want someone with the same values as them. If he thinks sex is sacred and should be saved then I'm not the person for him. I'm going to be honest about my n count because that's what you do in a potential relationship

thoughtfulsoul10000 · 2022-03-02T08:22:00+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Demasii · 2022-02-23T00:06:06+00:00

If body count is a deal breaker for him then there is a good possibility that there is a underlying incompatiblity in values that will lead to a break down of the relationship in the future.

The only reason I can see myself lying is if I was raped and believe that is something to be kept private for mental health reasonings.

Orange_Paisley · 2022-02-22T23:51:27+00:00

Why bother? I haven’t needed to, because nobody asks, but I would rather weed out the weaklings than be with someone who can’t accept me.

masochisticanalwhore · 2022-02-23T03:54:22+00:00

If they care about body count, I don't want them.

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-02-23T03:30:20+00:00

[permanently deleted]

AquaChip · 2022-02-22T23:52:31+00:00

Because by telling the truth I can eliminate men I don’t want. It’s a win-win. He leaves because he wants a mythical hot virgin and i win because I don’t want a jealous man.

Novadina · 2022-02-23T01:23:03+00:00

I’ve never lied about it because no man has ever asked. I don’t think it’s a common requirement of men irl. Also, I don’t even know my number, because I didn’t keep track. It’s not that high though, I’ve mostly been in relationships. I wouldn’t lie about it if I was asked (I’d have to give an estimate) I would only want someone I’m compatible with and don’t need to lie to.

but if you had a lot of casual sex, don’t have any stds, or stalkers, and you’re not pregnant

I had a stalker and it had nothing to do with how many men I’ve slept with, I don’t get why “no stalkers” is in this list? I picked my stalker up commuting to work.

TonytheNetworker · 2022-02-23T01:59:04+00:00

This is a terrible take for so many reasons. I’ll try to narrow it though. Lying indicates that there needs some hiding or fudging of the past that she’s not proud to share. People are human, we have sex, oh the horror. Also, if the girl feels uncomfortable she can just say it’s none of the guys business. While I don’t personally care for the body count discussion I think it can give some insight into their thought process and how they view sex.

2022-02-23T02:04:27+00:00

Because lies aren't a good foundation for relationships. Also because I don't really have anything to hide from my partner.

tiposk · 2022-02-23T03:15:14+00:00

If I'm lying about n count this means I expect you to care, and if I expect you to care I wouldn't want to be with you.

Spacechicken1998 · 2022-02-23T14:57:55+00:00

I wouldn't lie but I also wouldn't unpromptedly tell him, even though mines low it's best not to let men know about sexual past. Regardless of your n count it's just uncomfortable

thetruthishere_ · 2022-02-23T15:43:24+00:00

Id like to weed out a man Im not compatible with.

If hes not ok I was a former escort we are not meant to be.

Rexagon_2017 · 2022-02-23T16:54:45+00:00

Why not lie and mislead another person into having sex with you and potentially building an 18-year commitment on that lie?

Would you support a player telling a woman how much he loves her only to split after the first night?

bluestjuice · 2022-02-23T17:53:59+00:00

Honesty in a relationship is really important to me, besides which any partner who is going to react negatively to my body count is not a partner I need in my life. There’s no upside to lying.

2022-02-24T13:26:24+00:00

I want him to like me for who I really am, and make an informed decision to be with me, because otherwise he doesn't really know me and has a false interpretation of what kind of person I am. all of that is important. If you're ok with lying about n count to keep the boat still, you also seem like the kind of person that would cheat and not tell claiming "what they don't know won't hurt them". And that's a selfish disgusting way to go around screwing with people's sense of reality. Let's say for this guy sex is a bonding experience. For you it's like lunch. He wants to be with someone that relates sex to love like he does. That's a big deal to him, just like consent is a big deal to you. It's a violation in the same way. They think they're devoting their life to someone with the same mentality, but they're really devoting their life to someone with a different mentality that is also willing to lie if it saves their own skin at the expense of others.

DXBrigade · 2022-02-24T20:51:27+00:00

I would be suspicious, if a guy I dated was too curious about my sexual past.

ScoreInternational89 · 2022-02-27T21:19:32+00:00

I prefer for my relationships to be based on honesty and mutual respect

Bingobops · 2022-02-23T00:09:15+00:00

If your partner is the type to leave you (despite everything in the relationship going well) just because of your body count, you wouldn’t have wanted them anyway. The trash takes itself out

AutoModerator · 2022-02-22T23:29:32+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

soft_cloud_ · 2022-02-23T01:03:58+00:00

Don’t ask don’t tell.

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-02-23T03:01:07+00:00

How about just not sharing that information? I’ve never been asked as an adult, and I wouldn’t go on another date with a guy who did, because it’s a red flag for sexist attitudes and RP bs I definitely don’t need in my life.

Kaleidoscopiquant · 2022-02-23T05:10:11+00:00

I've never lied because no one's ever asked. I don't even know my number.

If a man did ask and saw a high n as some kind of issue, I'd be turned off and not interested in him anyway. Neurotic men aren't my type.

Title	Why not lie about body count?
Author	thoughtfulsoul10000
Upvotes	0
Comments	107
Date	February 22, 2022 11:29 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/sz1tup/why_not_lie_about_body_count/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-not-lie-about-body-count.1103445 https://theredarchive.com/post/1103445

Comments