Why wouldn't you date a police officer/cop?

Barneysparky · 2025-06-03T17:55:13+00:00

I had a cop once have a crush on me. I also had forgotten a no seat belt ticket. Him and his partner came to my home and arrested me. I was detained for 3 hours (in a questioning room) while he tried flirting with me.

It wasn't until I finally was allowed to pay my ticket and leave that anyone questioned why this happened, the clerk looked shocked and said "you were arrested"? Nothing happened to him.

So it wasn't just the one cop, series of officers had to know how he spent those three hours.

flutterybuttery58 · 2025-06-03T18:00:05+00:00

Where I live - they have a very high rate of DV and the obvious imbalance of power.

sublimemongrel · 2025-06-03T18:26:41+00:00

I dated a cop once when I was younger and in law school. He was the sweetest. But I did hear some stories about how that department behaved which like was clearly unconstitutional. I don’t think I would date another cop, that whole authority thing I think fucks with their heads a lot of the time. Plus I think a lot of them we wouldn’t vibe politically. I’m super big into due process and rights for the accused and all that.

EulenWatcher · 2025-06-03T15:51:26+00:00

I wouldn't date a Russian police officer, as they support the regime. Also, policemen tend to have higher cheating and abuse rates. Same goes with military men.

AngeAware · 2025-06-03T17:51:59+00:00

In countries or even quieter U.S. towns where the police don't see a lot of action and their main job is basically helping people in the community with whatever problems they have, I don't think that would have been a huge dealbreaker for me.

In a place like New York City where he's regularly going to be exposed to the most heinous shit imaginable and it's a blessing every night he makes it home alive? Yeah I couldn't do it.

floracalendula · 2025-06-03T16:46:58+00:00

In the US, cops have an unfortunate reputation for being abusive to their partners. I would prefer not to risk it.

Powerful_Monitor3659 · 2025-06-03T15:56:43+00:00

I respect police offers and I have generally had positive experience with them. I am a white woman, so my experience will likely differ to other demographics.

However, I am somewhat on the party scene so I am surrounded by petty law breaking quite regularly. And those laws I don't agree with. So it wouldn't work, tbh.

leosandlattes · 2025-06-03T16:02:12+00:00

Higher rate of abuse. They seem like they'd be controlling.

CatallaxyRanch · 2025-06-03T17:50:33+00:00

I'm not anti cop by any means, have lots of family members I love who are cops etc. But the kind of man who generally becomes a cop is not the kind of man I'm generally attracted to. Plus it's a dangerous job and that would stress me out. It's not a hard no for me, but probably not.

fiftypoundpuppy · 2025-06-03T21:02:04+00:00

I've never had a cop friend or acquaintance, but have known about three and two of the three were horribly abusive. The first was literally our next door neighbors 20 years ago and one night she actually had to hide at our house after he chased her with a knife. They got divorced. He was also cheating on her with a local school bus driver.

The second was the husband of a neighbor of.my parents where they live now. It was the second marriage for both of them. Once he escalated the abuse physically she divorced him.

The third is their son. From what my mom says he's a good guy, just recently graduated from the academy but that really doesn't mean much to me interpersonally. We'll see about him 🤷🏿

And if he does end up abusing you, good luck getting anything to come of it legally

Why take the chance when you don't have to? "Choose better"

ChadChasingBReturns · 2025-06-03T16:56:55+00:00

Much higher rates or cheating and abuse. I wouldn’t want a guy with a dangerous job either or someone constantly stressed.

ThatBitchA · 2025-06-03T16:14:07+00:00

ACAB.

Nope, nope, nope.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2025-06-03T19:11:06+00:00

I would t date a man with a dangerous job, my anxiety couldn’t cope

SeveralSadEvenings · 2025-06-03T18:50:22+00:00

Pretty simple really, I don't want to get beaten.

TSquaredRecovers · 2025-06-03T19:17:00+00:00

The domestic violence rate for couples where one partner is a cop is very high—40%, I believe. I wouldn’t want to take a gamble on a guy whose profession is full of domestic abusers.

Tricky_Dog1465 · 2025-06-03T23:05:02+00:00

Police officers statistically are one of the worst abusers for women so no I wouldn't date a cop

ashpr0ulx · 2025-06-03T17:37:02+00:00

i smoke hella weed

detransdyke · 2025-06-03T17:29:39+00:00

I'll echo what other women have said about abuse/adultery statistics and the inborn power imbalance that automatically exists in relationships between police/civilians. I would also agree with u/ChadChasingBReturns that the occupation's stress/danger level is a big factor in why I wouldn't want to be with a cop - firstly because people who are constantly stressed out are hard to relax with, but mostly because I would be constantly stressed if my partner was regularly at risk of being harmed/killed at work. Like, I'm married to a programmer and I already miss him when he's at work lol, so I can't imagine having to cope with the added stress of "he might not survive his shift" every single workday.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2025-06-03T18:46:48+00:00

I would t date a man with a dangerous job, my anxiety couldn’t cope

Big-Bodybuilder-5035 · 2025-06-03T23:38:27+00:00

I've met very few who weren't crazy

ConanTheCybrarian · 2025-06-04T03:39:09+00:00

Bubbly_Ganache_7059 · 2025-06-03T17:27:21+00:00

I saw that thread but didn’t make a post for it, but you’re 100% correct.

There’s no one in my friend group including myself, who would ever date a cop.

40%, nuff said.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2025-06-03T19:32:47+00:00

With their abuse stats? No thank you.

It wouldn't be so bad if the thin blue line didn't protect each other, but as it is a cop could show up to a house of another cop for a DV call and probably still cover up for the other cop.

Makuta_Servaela · 2025-06-04T13:19:50+00:00

Cops have a high rate of domestic abuse, and I know a person whose life was completely fucked over because he happened to beat a cop at a livestock auction sale. The cop literally destroyed his farm and poisoned all of his other livestock.

Cops aren't always bad people, but power and being used to never being told "no" goes to your head. A bad cop is capable of doing way worse than a bad non-cop can.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-06-03T17:06:37+00:00

Huge power imbalance

AutoModerator · 2025-06-03T12:38:54+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Present-Interest-975 · 2025-06-04T00:11:38+00:00

High rates of domestic violence. It attracts certain personalities that I would consider negative. The police are very corrupt. I'm not American, but I've had plenty of friends who've had negative experiences with the police for being visibly queer. I myself even in basic instances of just getting documents signed etc have never had a positive interaction with one. I don't respect their profession. I would have to worry about my safety more than I would with another partner because of the additional power they hold.

It would absolutely 100% be a dealbreaker for me.

RelativeYak7 · 2025-06-04T01:18:08+00:00

I dated a cop once, he was racist and from what he said his whole department was too. That wasn't for me.

freekin-bats11 · 2025-06-04T02:05:07+00:00

Not interested in someone whos more likely to beat me than other professionals and also not interested in supporting their role as a ' private property protector '. I dont feel safer when cops are around tbh. Wouldnt want one around me basically 24/7.

Flightlessbirbz · 2025-06-04T02:06:37+00:00

High rates of DV. Tends to attract people who want to have power over others. If they want to do anything to harm you, other cops are likely to let them slide. I know a young woman who broke up with a cop, and he’s been stalking and harassing her. Sure this is just one anecdote and there are cops who don’t do this kind of thing and non-cops who do. But point is, it’s riskier when you have someone who may think they’re above the law. Oh, and of course you have to worry about them getting shot. Just… quite a few risks involved.

zeezle · 2025-06-04T02:23:45+00:00

I'm not interested in anyone that does shift work with unpredictable or night shifts, which most police have but also applies to a lot of other careers too (not cops specifically).

Where I live there's not really any issues with cops abusing power and it's not particularly dangerous or stressful (very low crime area - literally thousands of times less crime than a large city - also the police aren't unionized and there's not really any corruption either). Actually probably the biggest risk is a traffic accident during a routine traffic stop, the only cop deaths I've ever heard of here were accidents where a 3rd car hit them while the cop was writing a ticket for someone else. But I don't think the higher rates of DV would apply to police around here, since that's highly linked to first responder PTSD.

I would definitely not want to date a cop in a city, way more dangerous and police unions are way more of a political force and there's way more pressure to toe the line.

Redhotangelxxx · 2025-06-04T05:53:39+00:00

I answered maybe to that, and that's because I stereotype men who seek out jobs like police officer, military, security guards etc. (pretty much any job where you'd carry a weapon) as a person more inclined to violence. I don't want to date violent people, people who engage in MMA or other types of martial arts and so on because I'm not a violent person and violence turns me off. If he genuinely seemed like a wonderful, incredible perfect man I would consider it but when there are so many other great men who are not police then I don't see a reason to date a cop. For me.

RothyBuyak · 2025-06-04T10:18:38+00:00

Because 40% of cops (in usa) admits to domestic violence towards partner key word admit

_weedkiller_ · 2025-06-04T10:28:48+00:00

It’s a job that attracts people who seek power.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2025-06-05T00:40:59+00:00

I have dated cops, ex-military, combat vets, CIA agents, special agents, spies, etc don't care about or read any stats

Title	Why wouldn't you date a police officer/cop?
Author	MoshiMoshi78
Upvotes	2
Comments	86
Date	June 3, 2025 12:38 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1l2atft/why_wouldnt_you_date_a_police_officercop/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-wouldnt-you-date-a-police-officercop.1553826 https://theredarchive.com/post/1553826

Comments