What are examples of a LVM playing red pill mind games ?

LittleSnackPack58 · 2021-08-31T16:47:32+00:00

On fboy Island, self pro claimed fboy did a similar strategy. As soon as he got alone time with one of the women he unloaded his childhood trauma of being adopted from Russia and having abandonment issues. His story could have been true, but he ended up manipulating her in the end and winning the money and dumping her. Unloading trauma on someone without having an emotional connection first is a manipulation tactic to garner sympathy. Women are conditioned by society to be naturing and sympathetic so this strategy works unfortunately. The best thing to do is to be 1) be aware. Ask yourself why would someone that I barley know tell me their sob story? 2) If they unload emotional trauma AND you are not in a relationship/barely know them just be aware they are trying to manipulate and get out safely. Trust your gut. If something feels off it's because it is.

jjlew922 · 2021-08-31T13:52:56+00:00

Trust your gut, especially in the beginning of a relationship and most certainly if you feel someone is lying. It’s almost always true in my experience that you can sense the lies and they’re on point.

The sob stories are to garner your sympathy. It’s a classic tactic of a vulnerable/covert narcissist. Looking for a mommy/care taker and it has probably worked for him in the past (especially with broken women who have a savior complex).

Don’t feel bad, it will just get worse, you’ve probably got some feelings of disgust or contempt because it’s so fake and he’s like a whiny little boy it appears. And even if he’s going thru a hard time, that’s not your problem and in all honesty he should not be dating right now because he’s not in the right headspace for a relationship as he needs to get his life in order. It shows he lacks maturity so yeah kick this one to the curb!

pickmieshaexorcist · 2021-08-31T13:38:08+00:00

Chatting with a man? Is this OLD? Is this someone you’ve known prior?

Any stranger who starts hitting you with inappropriate sob stories is an immediate red flag. Especially some guy online you’re just talking to. Block and delete this fool. Whether he’s red pill or not who knows, but a stranger immediately trying to illicit your sympathy/pity is a classic sign of a narc/abuser.

Even a known male friend doing this is suspect, because male friends often feel entitled to free therapy from their female friends with no reciprocation. The “friendship” is lopsided. For male friends who try this crap, go “grey rock” and tell him he should probably see a therapist about all this. I suggest ending friendships with men like this.

eveloe · 2021-08-31T16:01:30+00:00

It’s the pity strategy. Any man worth his salt would be trying to impress you in the dating stages. This guy knows his best isn’t good enough so he wants you to feel sorry for him instead. That way he is dragging you down to his level emotionally and you’re easier to “nab”

What I want you to do is ask yourself if you’re ready to pity f*ck him? If you don’t find a mopey man sexy (no one does), then stop talking to this guy.

He sounds draining.

_cnz_ · 2021-08-31T14:19:52+00:00

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned about men is that men never ask for help from a women unless he has malicious intentions. It doesn’t matter what the why is or trying to decode what tactics he’s using on you. Drop him immediately as he’s adding no value to your like

BasieSkanks · 2021-08-31T17:30:08+00:00

Run. Fast and far. HVM do not dump their trauma or problems onto high value men. He is feeding you sob stories so he can use them as excuses when he starts treating you badly. If it's making you feel uncomfortable, you have the right to end it, regardless of whether he is genuine or not.

ConstantNurse · 2021-08-31T13:55:00+00:00

Them trying to make themselves seem like a more grandiose person than they are (e.g. smarter because of weird iq tests, miracle births where they should have been dead, claiming to know famous people without having legit proof). Some of the thing my NVX did was claim he had some “government official” come and do IQ tests that he supposedly excelled at when he was like 5 and proved he was a genius. He also claimed that he felt he was invincible because he had survived so many horrific things that could have killed him, not to mention “nearly dying” at birth and was green. (He was born late and by c-section and passed meconium while in the womb, an issue for aspiration but nothing bad came of it.)

He also liked to make a point to know that he “was so much smarter than everyone else”. And the only time he would relent on being an expert in something was in areas to set me up for failure to make me look like an idiot.

For instance, I have a degree in Zoology with a focus on Vertebrates. A friend of his began talking about insects, specifically Butterflies (I have very little education in specifics with insects in general) and my boyfriend said, “well you should ask ConstantNurse, she’s an expert.” His reasoning for doing so was to either see if I would lie to see if I would humiliate myself or I would have to admit that I wasn’t educated in that aspect and that I wasn’t an expert in order for him to feel superior.

Cotton1candy · 2021-08-31T14:40:22+00:00

[permanently deleted]

ivesynthed · 2021-08-31T17:16:35+00:00

I believe this was mentioned on the podcast as well, but pay attention if the victim of these stories is always a woman…”my grandmother, my mom, my aunt” etc. This is also a manipulation tactic used to appeal to our sympathies for other women.

warinmymind94 · 2021-08-31T19:54:13+00:00

Watch out for the sob stories

Watch out for dudes that talk about their exes, its even worse if they claimed she was crazy or abused or cheated on him. Listen if he says things like she used him, didn't put out (give sex), was a nag, etc

Watch out for if he talks or brags about his body count. Does he actually brag to you about a woman that was "his best"? Does he say the women starfish or layed like a pile of straw, or boast about how good he is?

Watch out for redpillers that love bomb you and then bread crumb you

I just posted about guys that do a slow fade thats a red pill tactic

If he compares you to other women and ranks women

GCFDSthrowaway · 2021-08-31T14:52:17+00:00

He wants something from you. HVM don't do this. If it's not (eventually) money, it's emotional energy. He'll sap you, if you let him. Tell him you're sorry he's going through (fill in with whatever tf he's going through), but you have a job and don't need side work as an emotional support vagina.

Emergency-Feed8216 · 2021-08-31T18:25:26+00:00

Sociopaths lead with self pity and pity ploys.

katiekat0214 · 2021-08-31T14:14:57+00:00

Sounds to me like he's using you as a free therapist, and expecting you to put in a ton of emotional labor. Vet him and come to him with a problem. See if he empathizes, listens, or just problem-solves, is dismissive, minimizes your issue. I'm betting he wants a shoulder to cry on, not an equal partner that he'll have ot be present with.

sermuonielis · 2021-08-31T15:10:38+00:00

I've ventured out into their sphere the other day, out of sheer curiosity. This is one of the artificial methods used to gauge how good of a mother/wife you'd be based on your reaction. Will you throw yourself at helping him? Will you thoroughly empathise? One of the commenters said "I like to pretend that I'm going through something sad just to see how much she is willing to tolerate". Whiny men are not it. Men's expression of a true struggle is covert and when it's genuine- women usually are the ones that take the first step to uncover the extent. So be careful.

2021-08-31T19:36:08+00:00

Yes that's him playing "injured bird" trying to use your own empathy against you to get you hooked and create false intimacy.

Junior-Lion7893 · 2021-08-31T14:37:21+00:00

The most toxic ones are people that ask you of your dating history and keep prying to see why it failed early on into getting to know you. When that happens it’s an instant “no” for me, and I try to look for ways to leave w/e that is happening safely.

PinkestMango · 2021-08-31T17:15:18+00:00

Insulting you as a part of a compliment to make you swek his approval (negging) Lying and future faking Ghosting

tatrielle · 2021-08-31T18:45:18+00:00

Also wanted to add that going over someone's emotional capacity and being an emotional leech is toxic man or woman. Red pill tactic aside, you're not his therapist and he hasn't earned nor given enough of his own time to be that burdensome. (understanding and balance in any healthy relationship) It's best to establish boundaries with someone who uses your empathy to that extent because it takes A LOT of energy to always be in listening mode.

edit: I just read some of the stuff he's just vomited out. Wow this dude has some red flags with his childhood. Yeah he needs to figure that out on his own.

LetsGetin_Formation · 2021-09-01T00:18:17+00:00

Dudes don’t have to be constantly strategizing and Red Pill to just be naturally LVM without trying. Who cares if he’s telling the truth? He’s exhausting and expecting you to carry his emotional load.

Next him.

InaneObservations · 2021-08-31T23:14:47+00:00

You're describing the pity play, which is the harbinger of the emotional vampire and the mooch. Want to hear a sob story every single time your SO complains about being expected to do more than the bare minimum? You're hearing it now.

The #1 play I've always come across is guys who act like you have to earn their attention or convince them that you're "worth the effort."

Fuck that shit. You're a bank teller, Connor. You have 3 roommates and don't even own silverware. Don't even try to act like I'm some sort of groupie for the likes of you.

feminologie_ · 2021-08-31T23:57:19+00:00

Negging. I used to talk to a guy who thought I was out of his league and felt the need to "humble" me. He would make comments praising attractive features about women who looked nothing like me. I'm thin and petite. He would go on and on about how curvy women are so beautiful. How women from [insert ethnicity that's not mine] are so gorgeous. Like it was constant and out of the blue. I always felt weird why he felt the need to praise other women. If curvy Kardashian bodies are your type then why are you with me, a slim petite woman? Why not go after your supposed type? Then I realized it was all a neg designed to mess with my self esteem. I got sick of his games and blocked/deleted him. Unsurprisingly he made every effort to get back into my life. I never budged. No thanks scrote. Play stupid games and you can play by yourself, I don't have time for it.

iheartnoodlez · 2021-08-31T19:38:14+00:00

Listen to your gut.

OkTransportation5980 · 2021-08-31T16:07:04+00:00

If you are only in the chatting stage (I would extend this out through the early dating stage as well), and a guy brings up any "poor me, woe is me, things are hard/tough, plz pity me" talking points, I wouldn't engage besides saying "that sounds tough" or "Sorry to hear that." -- if the guy then continues on the same woe-be-me topic train, say "that sounds like something to discuss with a therapist / sounds like you are busy with personal things (and shouldn't be dating)".

A guy should be putting their best foot forward on a date, not dragging all their problems out to use you as a free therapist. A guy who is sincerely interested wouldnt want to burden you or scare you off or give the impression he cant handle his own stuff. Especially so early, while still just "chatting"- if they are showing you bad things in their life that soon, they arent trying to impress you, they are trying to get pity and that means they want a pity date or a pity partner who will throw them a "poor baby 👶" party and cater to their needy needs with no reciprocation.

Dont fall for it. You dont even need to respond at all, I would just ghost at the 1st pity garnering attempt (or of he ignores your brush off of the subject and tries a 2nd time for sympathy points....just drop the dude.)

You aren't married, you haven't been seriously dating- you don't owe the guy emotional support. You are vortually strangers. It's like some weird guy at the bus stop flagging you down and trying to monologue about their problems. Just drop the guy and keep looking.

letsberealforamoment · 2021-09-01T02:16:02+00:00

Block and deletr.

Or do an experiment before you do that. Start dumping on HIM and see what happens. He will prob fade you out. Men liek that take and take and never ever give.

Feministtiktok · 2021-08-31T15:34:55+00:00

I tried to Google it myself but I’m new to Reddit so I don’t understand red pill, blue, purple, black etc. I know it’s from the matrix but I also never saw the matrix. Can someone make me an easy cheat sheet explaining what each color means please?

EmptyApartmint · 2021-08-31T20:05:34+00:00

Red pill men's end game is always sex, which is sort of a self fulfilling prophecy for them to hate women. They objectify us harder than the rest of the manosphere, and are literally incels who manage to try and play the hook up game. Because of this being their goal, they do weird shit like "spin plates" aka, date multiple women at once- they also do slight negging and the in-n-out method- which entails being mercurial about your interest in a woman... They've realized that if they solely insult us, than of course we won't respond positively. So, they try and manipulate emotions by providing a sense of familiarity and desire- but than retreat it. Like teasing emotionally, pretty much.

These guys are transparent, though. Their energy just radiates a contempt and hatred for women, and we're not emotionally stunted like they are. I'm going to start calling men out if this is something I ever encounter- probably won't since I've gone demisexual- but if by chance, I encounter a man like this, I will fucking let him know that I see him and his bullshit.

PhoenixDiamond · 2021-08-31T15:11:27+00:00

I had a guy who started to latch onto me just because I asked him what his name was.

Then he started harping on his baby mama drama.

I didn’t even know this guy. We worked in the same building and he seemed nice enough, so I just said hi. Then he starts trauma dumping.

After 4 days, he lashed out at me because I wasn’t trauma dumping on him like he was to me.

These types of losers always need someone to do emotional labor because their mothers got tired of doing it. Doesn’t matter how old they are, they’ll never change. Why is this guy never happy? That’s a red flag right there. Most people don’t have terrible days every single day. Dump this guy, he’s bad news.

2021-08-31T16:03:28+00:00

Men should have their shit together before dating.

You are a queen, not a free therapist. That man is not suitable.

WandernWondern · 2021-08-31T17:37:14+00:00

Who cares if it’s real or not? When did making unvetted, unproven men feel better become your job? This guy already sounds like too much. When you start a relationship with depressing shit - you need to take a break from the game and get your life together. I concur it sounds like he’s looking for some sort of assistance with his life. A mommy? A therapist? A free nurse/doctor? Who knows but it’s definitely not your job to figure it out for him…

spaghetty8 · 2021-08-31T17:45:13+00:00

You gotta trust your gut. If you are getting creepy vibes from him, he’s probably being creepy. If he won’t listen to you telling him to stop, get out of there.

aprilmax52 · 2021-08-31T16:50:09+00:00

Putting their fake “trauma” on you to elicit the empathetic part of us. I’ve basically lost empathy for men who right off the bat tell me how horrible XYZ was for them, ESPECIALLY if it was some ex. Triangulation is real and they do it subconsciously some times.

TailwaggingCookie · 2021-08-31T17:46:42+00:00

Trust your gut! Someone with so much negativity can suck the life right out of you.

madame_imane · 2021-08-31T20:32:42+00:00

toxic ex stories, talking way too much about his "accomplishments", passive-aggressive.

notanamebutok · 2021-09-01T01:21:42+00:00

Trust your gut.

But sometimes people have bad luck. I have ehlers danlos syndrome and an abusive narcissist baby dad.

My current HVM partner learned this pretty early on, but after we were official. Just talking is a weird time to tell the bad things about yourself.

ferociouslycurious · 2021-09-01T02:32:39+00:00

I’ll just say, it doesn’t matter if it is or isn’t. It’s time to run regardless. It’s a giant red flag no matter what. If his life is this bad, he’s attracting it. He’s gotta change it on his own. You can’t.

Ok-Appearance5982 · 2021-09-03T17:10:46+00:00

The weird feeling could be your gut feeling. He’s rushing a connection

shimmerprincesskitty · 2021-08-31T19:13:20+00:00

Why have you been entertaining this kind of conversation in the first place? Please have more consideration for your precious time. He's not worth it, and these red flags already show what the relationship would be like. Block and delete. Focus on yourself.

Madssmkay · 2021-08-31T13:27:52+00:00

From what I know, this isn’t red pill but it’s him fishing for sympathy. How long have you been seeing him? This is a red flag in itself especially since it doesn’t seem like you’re in a relationship with him.

RP weirdos out themselves with being cheap, faux fuck boy act, and the media personas they follow.

Kalinka_sevenseven · 2021-08-31T15:33:56+00:00

I feel like this is so you’ll feel shit when you try to dump him. Because what sort of heartless bitch would kick a man when he’s down. Trust yourself, girl!

cat_realness · 2021-08-31T17:55:09+00:00

You have to give us more… Is it broke/ financially struggling? He is setting you up to help him due to his “trauma”… What happened to stepping with your best foot forward? If he ain’t broke/ struggling financially, he is making it seem like he is opening up to you, making you think that you guys are much more emotionally connected than the reality so that he can have access to your body without much effort. Block delete

2021-09-03T11:42:25+00:00

This is love bombing and manipulation, classic. I would say this is not red pill because it’s seen as being beta by other men but by unloading emotional trauma (often made up/ exaggerated) onto you is a form of lovebombing because OMG he trusts you so much to share such personal information.

Odd_Worth_3521 · 2021-09-04T01:07:03+00:00

I dated a psychopath who did just that. He wants to lower your guard, make you feel sorry for him, have u comfort him and treat him nicely, then he will start ignoring you and treating you coldly, starting the fucked up game of trauma bonding.....run girl.....run nnnnnnn

Title	What are examples of a LVM playing red pill mind games ?
Author	Cotton1candy
Upvotes	438
Comments	91
Date	August 31, 2021 1:24 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/pf5sop/what_are_examples_of_a_lvm_playing_red_pill_mind/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/what-are-examples-of-a-lvm-playing-red-pill-mind.1065984 https://theredarchive.com/post/1065984

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