Do you have a #-date rule?

Slyfer_Seven · 2021-09-30T22:21:43+00:00

I have one rule pertaining to sex and it's that I won't sleep with a chick on the first encounter/date/whatever. I do it mainly to protect myself from regret and to avoid being someone else's mistake as well

If it's a legit attraction, it will still be there next time.

It can be tough to stick to it in the moment, but the reactions alone, make it worth a little discomfort...

Itsknowntohappen · 2021-09-30T21:44:42+00:00

Not a specific date rule, but I don’t sleep with a guy unless I have feelings for him and we are exclusive.

Never had any complaints and in my case it doesn’t really matter honestly because I’m always the one ending things with guys. If I know I don’t see LTR with them, I end it which is pretty fast.

Competitive_Pen2282 · 2021-10-01T07:11:51+00:00

I have a rule to not have sex outside of committed relationships, * and have sex only with a man I love.

Men who have rules about getting sex quickly are usually not very attractive human beings and if a woman spends a bit more time with them she will see what a nasty person he is and she will drop him and he won't get anything. So these men have to push for sex asap to at least get something for now.

Demasii · 2021-09-30T22:11:26+00:00

I'm a woman so I don't have a rule but I remember reading an interesting blog post several years ago about continuous escalation versus a strict number of dates.

Every woman is different on how much time is needed to get comfortable with having sex with a man. A man should only continue seeing a woman as long as she escalate physically in some way on every date.

1st date - Just flirting

2nd date - Kiss

3nd date - Make out

4th date - Heavy petting

5th date - Fingering/Oral

6th date - Sex

Every date she gets more interested and taking it further.

superlurkage · 2021-09-30T23:55:34+00:00

1 Who are you

2 Was that a fluke

3 I guess you’re not crazy or a murderer; let’s fuck

milkyymochii · 2021-09-30T23:24:44+00:00

I don’t do 50/50 and I don’t have sex unless exclusivity is involved.

houstongradengineer · 2021-10-01T02:47:26+00:00

I don't have a number rule. I have a love rule.

darkredpintobeans · 2021-09-30T21:54:30+00:00

As a bisexual woman I got two sets of standards for men and women, and yes that's sexist, or hypocritical, or whatever fuck it. It's not based off time frames, but for men I have to see them as someone who I could co-parent with amicably before I sleep with them. For women, there are no rules I can smash all day and no pregnancy risk to think about.

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-09-30T21:50:46+00:00

Not specifically a number of day rule , and it's flexible depending on our chemistry together and how hot she is but again let me throw this caveat in there if she's a virgin or if she's somebody who's only been with like one or two guys both in the context of a serious relationship, I can be a little more patient again depending on chemistry and how attracted I am to her but outside of that after like three or four dates if nothing's happened and it's just not there, it's better to just not waste any more of our time

ashpr0ulx · 2021-09-30T21:47:33+00:00

i don’t have rules. i prefer to have sex early on rather than wait but i still like some bit of it happening organically and when the time feels right. rules are too rigid for me, they leave no room for the human variable. i want to feel out the situation.

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2021-09-30T22:54:09+00:00

No, its never been necessary. I've never not had sex on the first date with anyone i genuinely had charisma with

cupcakegensis · 2021-10-01T00:07:03+00:00

I don't kiss until after the 3rd date and don't like physical touch on the first date. I'm kind of old fashion so I don't want to have any kind of physical intamcy until I love yous are exchanged at least. I prefer to wait until we are both committed and thinking long term.

Thatshygurl · 2021-09-30T22:12:56+00:00

I have a similarish rule, if a guy hasn’t made it clear that he’s into me by the third date I drop. Meaning if he hasn’t made a move or confessed attraction, I assume they aren’t interested and explain that to them.

This has only happened to me once, and it was so awkward to have to explain, because I would never ghost anyone I’ve been on even one date with.

For sex I don’t have that until exclusivity is established, so not really determined by a # of dates.

LeadInfusedRedPill · 2021-09-30T22:02:31+00:00

I don't have a strict rule but if my escalations are swatted down for long enough without other obvious signs that you're into me, I'm gonna lose interest and cut my losses at some point. Generally sooner rather than later.

Physiologist21 · 2021-09-30T21:47:18+00:00

Rules don't matter. That's why men don't have them and women break them.

Willow-girl · 2021-10-01T04:19:33+00:00

When I was a teenager, I nexted boys who didn't at least make a pass on the first date.

Hey, I had eggs that needed fertilized!

Infammo · 2021-09-30T21:51:27+00:00

It's five dates for me. If a woman doesn't show any indication of wanting to sleep with you after the fifth date then she doesn't find you sexually attractive and it's best to just not waste any more time. The dating market at my age (30-35) is absolutely saturated with beta chasers so it's important not to let yourself get roped in. If I were more of a catch and had more options I might dial it back to the 3rd date like you for expediency's sake. But in general five dates is a reliable cutoff.

funlightmandarin · 2021-09-30T22:06:22+00:00

I drop a guy if I don't want to enthusiastically have sex within 3 dates. Doesn't mean I'll fuck him within 3 dates though; I need to have feelings for the guy and the guy needs to show he's committed to me.

It'll happen quite organically if we're both on the same page about each other.

razormachine · 2021-09-30T22:49:31+00:00

I have a crazy rule, I don't have sex with guys. He can take me to 50 dates, buy my meals, shower me with affection, take me paragliding over Venice and sing serenades below my window, no sex.

Maybe a quick handjob after paragliding over Venice.

wtknight · 2021-09-30T23:41:49+00:00

No # date rule. If a relationship is not progressing towards strong feelings, love and then sex, then I would stop dating the woman.

towerofcheeeeza · 2021-09-30T22:56:40+00:00

I don't have a # date rule per say, but my policy is: first date should be in a public place where there are other people, and if you hook up with them early in the relationship make sure there are roommates or someone in case something goes south.

nemporisso · 2021-09-30T23:31:33+00:00

You are filtering for what you're looking for, and that's great.

I have none.

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2021-10-01T00:15:18+00:00

3 date rule but if I am not feeling chemistry between the two of us I will dip out early.

LightGlows · 2021-10-01T01:26:23+00:00

Kinda, If the sex part is not progressing i stop bothering

I don't have a strict cutoff though

OfSpock · 2021-10-01T10:14:17+00:00

Definitely wait at least three dates. Screens out a lot of guys who just want sex see: this thread.

purplish_possum · 2021-10-01T01:45:18+00:00

I slept with every LTR since high school on either the first or second date. If a woman isn't into you why waste time, effort, and resources on her.

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-09-30T22:48:36+00:00

I have a pre-date rule. We gotta smash at first sight so I can decide whether to ghost before the date or not.

Allblackallamerican · 2021-10-01T04:52:35+00:00

Two dates. Max.

Even the women in PPD confirmed that for the most part, they know whether they’ll even consider you attractive enough to fuck relatively instantly.

So, if we get to a month of me showing interest in that way and nothing’s happened, I’m falling back.

That nigga she liked didn’t have to take her out on shit.

Safest rule of thumb in this climate is to understand that if you’ve been at it for over a month, if she hasn’t let you hit and she claims to be single, but is still entertaining you, she stringing you along; she wants to know how far you’ll go for the pussy she’s not really planning on giving you.

heyitsjeape · 2021-09-30T22:09:59+00:00

I never did and haven’t been on a date in many years. If I were to have a date tomorrow, I would have a one or done rule. I’m just too old and have waited too long to have someone play the withholding game on me.

manfrom-nantucket · 2021-09-30T22:59:59+00:00

The great Tom Leykis put it - Dating equals porking. If you are not getting laid after a date, dump and move on. Don't care of they have some obscure rule. If at the end of the night we aren't having sex then bye. No ones dating to learn more about your boring hobbies.

LiftSushiDallas · 2021-09-30T23:09:48+00:00

If I don't want to have sex by the third date, it's absolutely off. If I don't enthusiastically want a second date after the first, I don't bother. And I only agree to first date coffee dates at a coffee place I choose.

DerekMorganBAU · 2021-09-30T22:20:56+00:00

I have a no crazy rule. If I’m dating a bitch and she brings up relationships between us prematurely then I smash and ghost or I just flat out ghost. Any woman that doesn’t know how to go with the flow for at least a month or two without letting her neurotic brain get the best of her feels then she’s bad news.

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Laytheblameonluck · 2021-10-01T00:29:48+00:00

I think most guys learn the rule of not sticking your dick in crazy.

Freevoulous · 2021-10-01T10:46:09+00:00

All my relationships except one started with sex. The one that started with friendship was by far the worst one.

JacobMoogberg69 · 2021-10-01T13:26:52+00:00

I have a few simple rules and I tell women upfront. Every time I I've broken my rules I've gotten hurt.

Estimator1313 · 2021-10-01T13:47:14+00:00

I’m a guy and I definitely wouldn’t have sex on the first date. Nor on the second.

Beyond that? I’m not sure. Depends on how much of a bond we would develop and if BOTH OF US feel ready. Maybe it’s date 3, maybe it’s after six months, maybe it’s after a year. I don’t really know. As long as how we feel about each other is genuine and not because we’re both just very horny, that’s all that matters.

Granted, I’ve never been on a date, so you can take my perspective with a grain of salt. Or many grains of salt.

xFallacyx69 · 2021-10-01T14:04:12+00:00

No, but the measures I take to avoid impregnating a woman is fucking massive the less I know her

ilovepetya · 2021-10-01T23:20:31+00:00

yes i have a 1 date rule if we arent hooking up within 24 hours of meeting each other we will never have sex

hesipullupjimbo445 · 2021-10-01T05:15:17+00:00

If we haven’t fucked after 3 dates then there’s no chance of a relationship or 4th date. I’ll definitely stick around just to see things through.

Title	Do you have a #-date rule?
Author	empresa_josefina
Upvotes	16
Comments	134
Date	September 30, 2021 9:37 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/pytimf/do_you_have_a_date_rule/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-you-have-a-date-rule.1073292 https://theredarchive.com/post/1073292

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