She asked her partner of 6 years out on their first date. He confessed to her that he was unattracted to her for 2 years

CountingDownTheDays5 · 2021-10-04T02:24:19+00:00

This must really hurt. What's so sick is he thought this would be a good topic during a get together with people they will see more often than not. He has now planted a seed of doubt in her mind that can never be unrooted. For two year as she shared her mind body and self with him he deep down was using her. I'd leave him, and I wouldn't even reply or tell him why. Straight up ghost.

Edit: Crazy a user said this

Yikes.

I’d argue that liking someone you’re with romantically is much more important than loving them.

There was a thread on Twitter a very long time ago of men confessing they didn’t marry the woman they loved the most but made the most sense to be with or they wanted to be married at that time, so they married the woman they just so happened to be with. They could tolerate having a life with her.

Where do you see yourself as far as your future with this new information that’s been confessed?

second EDIT: I found that thread just in case anyone is interested

3rd EDIT: I read down the line in the comments. And god FDS shows itself in every mismatch relationship. That woman 1. Asked him out 2. Moved in with him before the engaged 3. And basically asked him to marry him in her word they came to an agreement. All things FDS advise against. And this is exactly why. If a man wants you he will go for you. He never wanted her from the beginning and she has been pulling him along.

purasangria · 2021-10-04T03:28:59+00:00

What have we said? That men will fake whole relationships to have a bangmaid? Here's the proof.

I hope she dumps him. He doesn't deserve her.

arnezuara · 2021-10-04T03:18:59+00:00

This thread should make us vet even harder.

I don’t want him to “pop the question” just because I’m a safe option. Or just the only option he has. No, I’d rather stay single.

lucidlotus · 2021-10-04T03:30:32+00:00

The cat's out of the bag. So many men fake love.

zealousandvain · 2021-10-04T02:51:47+00:00

Society treats men's commitment like it's something precious, something they only reward to the "girl of their dreams", but the reality is that they will settle for whoever is convenient or useful in the moment just because they are too lazy/ugly and want a steady supply of sex.

yoonbunny · 2021-10-04T05:44:38+00:00

It’s concerning that she had to physically leave and ask Reddit what she should do. Did her friends not call him out?! Did the friend she visited not tell it to her like it is?! The advice is LEAVE!! He may love you in his own way (not even sure I can say that!!!) but this ain’t worth the mental anguish.

lilac-hiraeth · 2021-10-04T04:53:32+00:00

So, during my open marriage I dated a guy who told me the story of his prior marriage(was divorced). I asked about his ex wife and he told me that he met her at work and after shift she and another female coworker of theirs asked him for a ride.

During the drive he asked out THE OTHER COWORKER but his ex wife jumped on it and accepted even though the invite wasn’t for her. So he took her out, they eventually got married, had kids, got divorced after 16 years. He told me he was NEVER physically attracted to his wife but “she was nice I guess”.

Omfggggg! There are real live reasons I do not trust men or want to be with one and it isn’t because I’m the shady one!

dancedancedance7 · 2021-10-04T07:44:20+00:00

Fiance of 6 years? He still doesn't like her, and never will.

Impossible_Mud_7599 · 2021-10-04T04:16:22+00:00

Stg ladies this kind of thing scares tf out of me. If you don’t play it just right they will do this shit to you — that’s how I feel. Like I’m constantly on guard. I’m just so fucking glad I have an actual strategy, now.

That’s what’s empowering — not “sex work,” not hookup culture, not OnlyFans or anal sex.

europoor24 · 2021-10-04T03:23:34+00:00

DAMNNNN

VigorousBeanFlicking · 2021-10-04T10:34:30+00:00

And she’s still bothering to meet up with the man to “hear his side” 🤦🏻‍♀️ why she’d let this loser waste a minute more of her time is beyond me.

Meredeen · 2021-10-04T03:53:09+00:00

I think it's a thing of psychology, but I learned that there are many people who are doing something/are a certain way that they know is wrong, and they feel guilt, so they'll tell the truth... but in a tricky kind of way. One example is "I don't know why you're friends with me, I'm such an asshole/bitch". It is something that one might say to alleviate their self-guilt with the idea that they 'warned' the other person, so them sticking around is fair game.

So if someone tells you how it is, best believe them sis.

dog2006 · 2021-10-04T14:34:54+00:00

God this is why I never agree with the bs rhetoric that men on Reddit like to spew about how women “shouldn’t be afraid of making the first move”. Well ya see? This is what happens when we do. Most men will just run with it because they’ve finally had a woman show interest in them first. It isn’t because they genuinely like you.

God I’d rather be single than end up in a loveless relationship just because a man settled for me. People who dont follow FDS can’t seem to comprehend this. They keep telling me to ask guys out on OLD and such and I love to give them examples like this.

Poorfck · 2021-10-04T03:34:28+00:00

And that’s why you should never ask a man out.

Disastrous_Airline28 · 2021-10-04T09:11:54+00:00

My first boyfriend admitted he was out of love with me for the last 8 month of our relationship. We had been together for 4 years. I asked him out, we lived together. I was moving out for school and he just planned to break up with me after I moved farther away so he didn’t have to do it in person. During those last 8 months he never said no to sex, me buying him gifts, or me doing his cooking and house keeping. I just felt disgusted and used.

lightcobaltblue · 2021-10-04T05:54:10+00:00

Wow... Another reminder to not ask men out. If they truly want you, they will come to you!

fds_throwaway_4_u · 2021-10-04T05:15:31+00:00

Haha oh god wtf is this!? What!?

kansascitydream · 2021-10-04T07:07:23+00:00

****trigger warning, rape, abuse*

I know someone that works in long term care. So, a retirement home. He told me that there is a woman that is not “all there” one of the male residents is “dating her” they found him having sex with her while she was passed out. He had porn on while he did it. He also tried to make her change her will, so he could have all of her money. Luckily her lawyer would not let him. These demonic men have always existed. Never put it past them to use and abuse women. Vet all of them, forever.

LadyLangoustine · 2021-10-04T09:31:33+00:00

He humiliated her horribly in front of her friends.

If I were her the ONLY confusion I would have would be whether he just did it to "put me in my place" after some perceived slight, or he meant it.

Either way, no thanks, I don't want that relationship.

How low must her self esteem be? It's sad to watch.

xfelugirlx · 2021-10-04T12:56:02+00:00

Give him a chance? Wtf girl, dump him. He’s using you and find it funny!!! He’s wasting your time just because he can’t be alone, a lot of men do that to stay in a relationship because they can’t stand themselves

ax1zula · 2021-10-04T10:23:57+00:00

I lost my virginity to a man that told me he only finds really white girls attractive after we had PIV sex for the first time (not really white). I wasted 2 months getting to know that loser and it still hurts years later, I can't imagine the pain from this.

ThrowRAabitworried · 2021-10-04T04:01:07+00:00

What are some good ways to vet for men who “settle”? Can y’all think of some really good signs that a man really loves & values you?

Godschild2020 · 2021-10-04T15:25:27+00:00

Sounds like some level of sociopathy. He knew what he was doing. And, he didn't care. Because he never did and never will.

It's obvious he doesn't give one care about her or her feelings nor what anyone else thinks. He's been drunk before in the past 6 yrs, I'm sure and never revealed his true feelings. But THIS was the time? He's finished playing now. He seems to loathe her...she's a function in his life. Just imagine all the low or no effort shes had to endure, how many times he cheated, when he put forth minimal effort on important occasions.

I hope she gets therapy and I hope she doesn't look back.

blumoonrising · 2021-10-04T03:47:33+00:00

My ex husband did this to me! Took me 2 years to finally leave. He ended up doing the same thing to the very next girl he dated after our divorce. He is emotionally cut off from other people and just wanted a bandaid and 50/50. So glad I got out of that marriage!!!

Ok-Yogurtcloset3467 · 2021-10-04T12:39:57+00:00

I feel awful for her. She should leave. He has essentially just said she was convenient sp he put up with her. He might say that's changed but I dont see how. He just fell into this relationship and decided to take everything she gave.

Also why on earth would he say it in front of friends? He does not have a high opinion of her at all

DarbyGirl · 2021-10-04T13:00:39+00:00

Aww that's horrible. That poor girl :(

Public-Ad-4560 · 2021-10-04T13:19:16+00:00

This is so sad, I can't imagine how hurt and humiliated she must feel. I don't understand, even if that was all true why would you ever say it if you don't feel that way now? To me it seems like he still might feel that way, cause why else would he bring it up?

I can understand maybe telling a joke about how you didn't like your partner the first date or something but two years into the relationship?? That is just evil. .

Whatever op decides to do I hope she just leaves him.

PollyAnnaSunshine · 2021-10-04T17:41:14+00:00

With the humiliation he inflicted on her, I feel like the only thing she can really do is throw his stuff out on the curb, change the locks, and ghost him. There's no way I'd stand up in front of a crowd of people, including those who witnessed this "confession" of his, and pledge my life to someone after this, even if they swore up and down that they were just drunk and it's not true. No way. I feel so sorry for her and I hope she can find someone who can truly value and love her the way everyone deserves.

adrianna2019 · 2021-10-04T03:19:04+00:00

I hope she runs and never talks to him again. What a total POS

DivineGoddess1111111 · 2021-10-04T08:06:37+00:00

Pray to Goddess that she is being advised to kick him to the curb in the comments 🙏

InternalEmu1477 · 2021-10-04T05:01:06+00:00

I needed to hear this today, thank you

spinsterchachkies · 2021-10-05T05:55:06+00:00

Oh my god just uuuugh

DiosaCordilia · 2021-11-18T19:11:56+00:00

Speechless honestly, I hope she now sees now due what he said how toxic he really is cause I can't believe this man is good to her in the relationship itself, It can't be
But indeed.... Everything FDS teaches she has not done it, ASKED HIM to be HER boyfriend, ffs I would rather sell all my organs then doing that

Title	She asked her partner of 6 years out on their first date. He confessed to her that he was unattracted to her for 2 years
Author	meecy166
Upvotes	902
Comments	81
Date	October 4, 2021 2:18 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/q0w9ms/she_asked_her_partner_of_6_years_out_on_their/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/she-asked-her-partner-of-6-years-out-on-their.1077736 https://theredarchive.com/post/1077736

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