Romance/erotica novels are no better than pornography

psychicbike · 2022-02-20T07:43:53+00:00

The way I differentiate porn from erotica is as follows: porn has no character development and thus the audience is not invested in the “who” the actor is playing. We don’t delve into their inner thoughts, desires for life outside of sex, future goals, past traumas, etc. With erotica, there is character development so the audience is emotionally invested in the characters. The audience cares about who the character is sleeping with, their motivation for sleeping with this person, how this person fills some void in their life or heals some trauma, if this person is a good match for them, etc. That is how I personally differentiate. Are you emotionally invested or just are you just there to bypass all the emotions of sex and get straight to the physical aspects to achieve a release.

edgyny · 2022-02-20T15:36:11+00:00

Just an observation--I have never, ever heard of a "romance novel addict" or anything even remotely like it. I would expect that if romance novels were not better than porn.

WYenginerdWY · 2022-02-20T07:38:44+00:00

One of the most key and important differences IMHO is that in erotica, both the man and the woman are (in general) deeply enjoying the sex they're having.

Even in "vanilla" porn, it's clear the positions used and the ram-slam-ramming is not actually pleasurable for the woman involved. The vast majority of erotica promotes good sex for both parties. Porn, at best, promotes male-centric sex and at worst promotes the idea that men should feel entitled to inflict pain and discomfort on their partners (forced anal, gagging on cocks, cervix bashing, choking, face slapping, etc).

silveryspoons · 2022-02-20T08:01:09+00:00

I think the women abused in the porn industry would have a word with you.

DiscoVersailles · 2022-02-20T04:48:34+00:00

Are you a time traveler from the 90s? What romantic paperback section are you looking at? Because big buff men haven’t been a staple on romance novel covers targeted at women in decades. The 50 Shades of Grey series never even featured men on the book covers.

WilliamWyattD · 2022-02-20T04:58:28+00:00

There are deeper asymmetries between female romance fantasy and pornography, though neither is inherently good.

But the most obvious thing to mention is that the medium is the message. Today's porn comes in infinite variety, delivered in a digital delivery vehicle almost calculated to do the most possible harm. Men can find their absolute favorite kink or look, hone in on it like a missile, and then churn through countless perfectly selected selections of optimally stimulating material as they masturbate towards orgasm.

What this does to the brain is staggering.

kittenated · 2022-02-20T13:27:34+00:00

Women against porn will cite human trafficking, rape, drug addiction, abuse, violence, the normalization of abuse against women, and men will laugh in our faces, and then expect us to take this seriously?

On par with the harms of pornography is....

Book covers? Dialogue? "Sexy stuff?" This is farcical.

You are pretending to be upset that books have dialogue.

Orange_Paisley · 2022-02-20T04:45:48+00:00

Erotica usually has a story and I don’t have to look at closeups of strangers’ genitals and bodily fluids.

Kaleidoscopiquant · 2022-02-20T10:26:13+00:00

You rarely come across a woman who needs to read a book every time she wants to masturbate. Lots of men are dependent on porn and can't imagine getting themselves off without it.

DreamsOfWishes · 2022-02-20T04:33:26+00:00

I'm missing the explenation for how erotica novels exploit young people, cause damage to their lives by being in them, gets posted online without consent and etc?

MarBitt · 2022-02-20T09:29:37+00:00

Written porn/erotic stories are on the same level as animated porn/hentai.

Both are fantasies, in both of which there may or may not be various perverse and harmful things. And in neither case are there live actors or actresses.

SmurfESmurferson · 2022-02-20T05:20:31+00:00

You are missing the forest for the trees

First, women aren’t visual, at least not in the way men are. The cover art is interesting, but not sexually enticing in and of itself

Not all of the writing is trite. Read the first chapter of The Story of O - that is some of the sexiest storytelling ever committed to paper. (It’s fitting that first chapter was a sexy personal letter written to the authors lover, before being turned into a book)

Harlequin romance novels are trashy - comparing them with actual erotica is like comparing Hustler with the best of classic 70s Playboy. One is clearly erotica-bordering-on-art, the other is just stupid fap material, to be quickly forgotten

And yes, part of the fantasy is the ravishment. The man being so turned on by her that he can’t control himself

wtknight · 2022-02-20T15:18:18+00:00

The argument against pornography tends to be about trafficked women, and the fact that extreme sexual acts are being committed against an actual person rather than just imagined on the pages of a book. A lot of erotic novels are fairly vanilla, although there are exceptions, and I'm guessing that the women who enjoy the exceptions are less likely to be against porn, although there's still the trafficked women issue that's a problem.

I don't think that as many women have an issue with OnlyFans stuff where the woman is in control of what she does with her body rather than having some man dictate what she needs to do for the camera. Supposedly there is feminist porn out there that women don't seem to mind, too, although I've never seen it and I'm not sure what it entails.

M_LaSalle · 2022-02-20T15:43:24+00:00

If I like it, then it's erotica.

If someone else likes it and I don't, then it's PORN

lonely_mixtape · 2022-02-20T05:14:52+00:00

I don't read actual novels from the store, so covers aren't really a thing lol. Not to mention, if you're reading a book, you're not really looking at the cover the whole time. It's just supposed to be an eyecatcher. I read smut fanfic and I used to read my fair share of doujins as well (I've pretty much kicked the habit now). To me, objectification was never the problem I had with porn. I don't necessarily trust porn in a sense of knowing that everyone I'm watching are completely willing participants. I much prefer watching and reading things that I can totally disconnect from reality. Eg. fictional erotica, doujins, and hentai, because I'm not literally watching real people do the deed and I know that whatever problematic shit I'm into is being done in the safest way possible (not being done at all because it's fiction).

I don't think porn is bad per say. I do have a problem with my partner watching it tho, because he's looking at other women's naked forms. Especially when I'd be glad to send him pics or vids of me whenever he wants and I'm always willing to fuck. He doesn't watch porn, but it would bother me if he did.

I don't necessarily think erotica/hentai/porn/etc. are good things. They're all self indulgent and I'm still figuring out my feelings about them. I know reading erotica has been a habit I've been trying to kick for a while now. I don't think any are worse than the other in terms of the mentality behind it and how it's just fantasy fulfillment. But I think the nature of the production porn is something that can be brought into question, whereas books and drawn images are harmless to make.

87AudreyHorne · 2022-02-20T12:02:37+00:00

Erotica and porn evoke the same reaction in me - laughter.

I see the comedic value in both, I can't take either seriously. I just don't get it

MistressMisandry · 2022-02-20T14:23:48+00:00

I don’t read much about anal and vaginal prolapse in romance novels but porn? Certainly it’s a category. Not even in the same dimension when you compare text to visuals.

shmungo_haboyo · 2022-02-20T16:54:31+00:00

You dont have to traffick minors to write a book lmao

2022-02-20T17:00:42+00:00

Romance and erotica are really different from each other and aren't really comparable to porn. Just because a book is romance doesn't mean it isn't well written, have good plot, or things you learn from it. A lot of romance books have no sex.
Erotica is usually not as well written and more focused on the sex, and probably more similar to porn. But...reading hundreds of pages of fantasy the course of days and weeks is really not the same as consuming a 7 minute video with real humans, especially if you think about how those people got in the industry? Are they high so they can get through the scene? Were they coerced in any way? What life decisions led them to porn? The fact that a huge percentage of porn actresses have stories of abuse while they were in the industry. It's real people in those videos. The book people don't exist, don't have feelings, or backstories, and you don't have to worry about them.
I'm not against porn when everything is consensual and actors are well cared for, but I do wanna point out that these three things aren't really comparable in this way, and I think a lot of issue people have with porn has to do with how predatory the industry is...and that's not even talking about how much porn, how many men and women in videos with millions of views, are victims or trafficking or abuse.

ruboyuri · 2022-02-20T17:03:18+00:00

Consumption is unequal, as is demand

And one also doesn’t involve actual people

suitcasefullofbees · 2022-02-20T19:00:55+00:00

A fictional story will never be as harmful as actual porn. Freedom of speech/creativity should be upheld, while many people in porn are coerced, abused, and/or manipulated. It’s like comparing apples to oranges imo

dbz19 · 2022-02-21T08:17:49+00:00

Hentai is literature.

UrFoodMolestedMyNose · 2022-02-20T05:17:02+00:00

Lmaooo - It’s no where near the same at all. - No one becomes Addicted to erotica - No one messes up their genitals because of it (I don’t even think women masturbate to that stuff but idk ) - No ones turning down their partner for it - No ones emptying their savings over it - No ones spending large amounts of their days with it

painfurouartacc · 2022-02-20T10:29:53+00:00

porn is exploiting real people, novels, erotica or even hentai/erotica drawings in general aren't.

maybe one could say it's better than consuming drawn porn too considering staring at highly unrealistic images for sexual pleasure might lead to weird standards.

Lyvicious · 2022-02-20T11:43:04+00:00

Book covers are marketing and branding. They're not what gets women hot. They are what says, "This is what this book is about. It's the same kind of book you liked last time. So buy it." Women don't fantasize about the cover. I only read romance online or in eBook format anyway; I don't spend any time on the cover.

As for dialogue and general writing quality -- of course some of it sucks. Some of it is fantastic, though.

And yeah, romance has its tropes. That's what makes it romance. They're tropes the readers enjoy.

Women don't enjoy romance because it's a superior form of art. The written word just appeals to some much more than porn. A story, more emotions, and best of all you don't have to look at ugly close-ups of ugly people.

armordog99 · 2022-02-20T14:35:04+00:00

I read a few romance novels in my younger days to see what woman liked about them and what they were about. In my opinion they set up more unachievable expectations than porn.

In romance moves the male love interest is, a lot of time, a prince, owns a company, or is otherwise very well off. This is very hard/impossible for most men to achieve.

The other common theme I saw in these was what I call the mind reading power. There will be phrases like; “He knew without her saying to take her in his arms”. In other words he was able to read her body language well enough to know what she wanted. Most women are very good at reading body language, men are not. I’d also say this is a hard skill for men to learn.

Everything in porn is achievable if a woman puts her mind to it. Deep throating, anal, having a threesome with another woman. She may not like doing them but she can work and achieve it. Very hard for a man to become a prince or Uber rich.

Sure-Vermicelli4369 · 2022-02-20T14:55:00+00:00

Romance novels appeal to women in the same way that porn appeals to men

The difference you failed to account for is that women can do no wrong.

hyperlinktoZelda_v2 · 2022-02-20T12:52:54+00:00

[permanently deleted]

TakeTruth99 · 2022-02-20T06:16:05+00:00

Stay away from women who enjoy reading fictions especially that type. They are usually crazy delusional and don't live in the real world !

PlayfulLawyer · 2022-02-20T10:07:59+00:00

That's not the correlation I would make, I always tell guys don't pay attention to these broads trying to shame you for watching porn when they have the Super Fisty twist 5000 , that vibrates at 20 different settings, they have shit like that at their disposal and then they're going to talk to YOU about being desensitized and fucking up your head? GTFO 🤣

Now getting addicted to most things is not great and porn addiction can be a real thing, but whether it's a solo vanilla video, anal, story driven or facialabuse dot com, enjoy what you want

dewajtis_ · 2022-02-20T13:47:09+00:00

LMAO!!!! OP wants to talk about romance novels and his examples are "Harlequinns from 90s". Lmao lmao lmao!! OP, you've just show you know NOTHING about a huge genre. There are Christian romance novels and ones that the most they do is having a chaste kiss. Are you aware of that? Of course not.

And you know why is that? Because women care about romance, slow building of love, happily ever after and hero and heroine starting a family. Where is any of this in your primitive porn movies? There's no story, no feeling, no explaining who a man and a woman are and why they want to have sex. Is it expression of their love to each other? Well, we don't know, it's just primitive pounding anyway.

FancyCocktailOlive · 2022-02-20T16:39:11+00:00

I don’t see men being trafficked and raped to make romance novels.

I personally hate both romance novels and porn.

Men who believe romance novels are the same as pornography are too stupid to bother with.

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AggroMania · 2022-02-20T09:47:57+00:00

Thanks for the boner

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2022-02-20T09:52:09+00:00

Think the only difference between porn that men like , and porn women read is the build up , the steady tease before the conquering , adventures etc. Think both can be dangerous if taken truly seriously and used as a reference for relationships in real life , I'd say most people have the ability to know the difference between real and fiction . Some of my favorite authors Kresley Cole, JR Ward , Gena Showalter . 😆

lighthouse4me · 2022-02-20T11:48:38+00:00

Actually, I agree, but in novels there is a bit more left to imagination

sibellita · 2022-02-20T12:15:24+00:00

You are not wrong but cooking shows on TV are also pornography.

labtech89 · 2022-02-20T14:42:45+00:00

Reading it is better because as with any book you get to use your mind/imagination to picture the characters and their actions/responses. Erotica is more romantic porn is just sex.

lulll · 2022-02-20T16:47:29+00:00

normal women just watch some porn when they want to masturbate, this whole idea that when women want to masturbate they go pick up a fucking book is some bullshit internet myth created by women who read too much erotica and project what they do onto all women. book readers have a severe superiority complex and this erotica bullshit is no different. its not as popular as you think it is. you want to know what regular women do? they watch lesbian porn

2022-02-20T19:36:06+00:00

10 shredded dudes with their shirts off. Ladies tell me, is this what appeals to you? Do these covers seriously grab your attention,

Mm fuck yes! I would love guys like this to throw me on the bed and eat my pussy like starved dog eating chips. Then lick him all over his six pack and cum gutters

Mmmm

Britannia_Forever · 2022-02-20T21:27:12+00:00

I feel like the better comparison is harem anime.

capilot · 2022-02-21T04:38:33+00:00

A great quote I saw once: "Ladies, we won't expect you to look like the women on the magazine covers if you won't expect us to act like the men in the romance novels."

Thucydides00 · 2022-02-20T08:57:40+00:00

this'll shock you, but they are porn

sarkington · 2022-02-20T16:40:11+00:00

Nope. Not even close. No one gets drugged, hurt or raped in the production of erotica

Romance/erotica novels are no better than pornography

Book Covers

The Dialogue

Same Old Dirty Sexy Stuff

Comments

Title	Romance/erotica novels are no better than pornography
Author	hyperlinktoZelda_v2
Upvotes	21
Comments	171
Date	February 20, 2022 4:29 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/swsqd5/romanceerotica_novels_are_no_better_than/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/romanceerotica-novels-are-no-better-than.1103942 https://theredarchive.com/post/1103942