Do you believe in the idea of soulmate or soulmates?

Geocities_SEO_Expert · 2022-03-29T12:48:23+00:00

I don't think so. And even if it was, so many men are massive liars, there's no way to know if any part of their personality is real. A lot of women are in love with fictional characters, and I'm not talking about romance novels.

BasieSkanks · 2022-03-29T14:00:12+00:00

I believe a soul mate can be anyone who connects with you on a deep level. It doesn’t have to be a romantic partner. My soul mates are my oldest sister and my best friend.

relationship_reddit · 2022-03-29T13:40:05+00:00

I don't. It doesn't make sense. What if, say, your perfect person lived on the other side of the world, or was born 300 years before you?

I believe that there are a number of people that each of us could connect and maintain a good relationship with.

Throwitaway_72946 · 2022-03-29T12:50:59+00:00

I like the idea, teenage me loved the idea. It's a nice fantasy, but ultimately damaging.

We all know women have the most to lose in relationships. The idea of soulmates is that another person completes you, but in the case of a woman, that also means becoming less.

Nifteroni-and-Cheese · 2022-03-29T14:30:49+00:00

I like how Michal puts it in The Good Place: “If soulmates do exist, they're not found, they're made. People meet, they get a good feeling, and they get to work building a relationship.”

No one is your one and only chance at love, and thinking that way sets you up for disappointment, or even mistreatment if you stay with someone abusive because you think they’re “the one”. But some people, like my parents, just seem to be perfect for each other, like puzzle pieces who’s weird pokey edges fit right in with each other. Yeah there’s an element of luck, but they also spent years listening to each other and growing together, helping the other become who they are today. I don’t think it’s possible to meet your soulmate in a crowded room and cut to happily ever after, but I think when a relationship is healthy and the people really value each other, they become soulmates.

notallowed2havepizza · 2022-03-29T13:11:32+00:00

The idea of a soulmate promotes the scarcity mentality. So nahhhhhhhh. Miss me with that ish.

Huntscunt · 2022-03-29T14:01:37+00:00

There is no such thing, imo. Being with someone is an active choice you make every day. I feel like the idea of soul mates abdicates the responsibility we have in our life choices.

thowawaywookie · 2022-03-29T12:10:54+00:00

No, I don't believe it's real. There are likely 1000s of people out there we'd be extremely happy with.

Besides why does a soulmate have to be a guy you're dating or married to?

A best friend, a pet, or family would make more sense if there are soulmates.

Classy_Bunny · 2022-03-29T14:23:27+00:00

I do actually believe in soulmates, just not in the traditional sense. For me, my soulmate is my cat. We've been together for 15 years now and we are absolutely connected. We understand each other without words, she helps me deal with my mental health issues, reminds me to take medication and when I'm under tons of stress she becomes sick. Realizing how much she did for me over the years has really helped raising my standards for relationships. If I don't feel as good with a partner as I do with my cat, then I'm better off on my own.

buzzkillyall · 2022-03-29T15:40:05+00:00

A therapist said to me "just because he's a soulmate doesn't mean he's good for you" and that was helpful to me. Acknowledged the trauma bond, but gave me the clear-eyed perspective to prioritize MY well-being.

I no longer believe in soulmates, thankfully. It is delusion and obsession, can be dangerous and cloud one's judgment. As several have mentioned, a deep trusting bond can form with souls other than your life partner.

highoncatnipbrownies · 2022-03-29T12:01:34+00:00

I think the concept is a bunch of bull-honkey put out by Disney and Hallmark. The only time a guy has mentioned being soulmates is when they already screwed up and I was trying to leave.

"But but you CAN'T leave (my unemployed @$$) because you're my soulmate and God (destiny, fate, my mother, the Easter bunny..) wants us to be together..." Queue the fake tears.

hilariouslystated · 2022-03-29T14:00:52+00:00

I like the idea but I think it's something made up for TV. Compatibility matters more to me than the idea of "soulmates". We can be compatible with a lot of people.

queen_azulaa · 2022-03-29T12:43:19+00:00

In line with romantization of domestic abuse, erasing yourself to be with someone, needing someone to "save" you... If anything I hear the soulmate narrative shoved down women's throats like how Disney princesses have princes who are "the one". Cue the whole "taming beast" agenda of changing "bad boys" because youre their soul mate. Cue staying in abusive relationships. Cue gaslighting yourself to believing youre in love with a person who's just an idealized version of reality which will only lead to heart break and disappointment.

I do believe God lets us meet people for a reason, a lesson, a season, or a lifetime. And that if you dont learn the lesson you'll keep making the same mistakes. And if its true connection it shouldn't be hard. It shouldnt hurt. But it shouldn't feel like a storm. It should feel like an immovable shelter in the storm. So yeah I do think youre meant to meet certain types of people so you can see what your reflection looks like against them. That doesnt mean youre in some cosmic connection.

If anything scientifically speaking you may have met these people during a certain time in your cycle where youre just likely to find people more attractive and your libido is higher. Perhaps another explanation to that sparkly feeling we all get.

Smolfrend · 2022-03-29T13:26:01+00:00

Nope. Made that mistake once, never again. I think it's a dangerous mindset women can get into, especially women who have had negative or abusive men in their life growing up. Wanting a soulmate becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and you end up compromising more and more for "the one" until you wake up and realize you were never truly happy in that relationship. The media for sure romanticizes it. It's the weird remnants from the romantic period in literature. The trope often being you don't marry who your family chose for you for wealth and status, you elope with the stable boy or maid because that's exciting and they're meant for you.

Sage_Planter · 2022-03-29T14:21:37+00:00

There's no such thing as "the one." We don't have soulmates or people we are meant to be with. This is an unhealthy view point and keeps us in toxic, unhappy relationships.

There is such thing as "one of the ones." These are the select number of people we're genuinely compatible with. The goal is to find one of them. When we are with someone we are compatible with, we consciously and consistently make the decision every day to be with them and to build a life with them. It's not magic.

resilientspirit · 2022-03-29T17:53:32+00:00

No. This shit is fantasy, and leads to staying in toxic relationships. This Ride or Die mentality really needs to go.

There's a few billion men in this world. The insanity of thinking there's Just One for me, and if I miss that boat, I'm doomed to be alone is the fear that keeps women in bad relationships far past their expiration date.

edwardianemerald · 2022-03-29T12:44:14+00:00

No. Men lie way more often than women do so if you're hearing everything great coming out of a man's mouth ("how can this be real?!" etc.) he's probably lying.

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/science-proves-it-men-lie-more-than-women/

NotSoBunny · 2022-03-29T12:11:46+00:00

Nope.

Not everyone has a higher power they believe in, I do so in the terms of me, I cannot fathom why something of such superiority to me would give enough F's about humans lives, let alone the love interests of humans, to bother with something so very silly.

That isn't a gut feeling, that's endorphins making you feel nice. Its temporary.

If you really wanna know, see if either of you feel that way a few years in. Can those chemical reactions stand the test of time? Can his personal character and integrity stand the test of time?

seraphinelysion · 2022-03-29T16:43:21+00:00

Considering that 99% of men are LV, it would mean that to believe in a soulmate, mine would have to be, statiscally speaking, inherently LV.

So no, I don't believe in soulmates. The math doesn't work out. 🤣

alpinepunch2021 · 2022-03-29T15:58:23+00:00

I mean, I do think compatible people exist, and if two people can be compatible and one person can be more compatible for a person than someone else, then it stands to reason that there's probably a 'most compatible' person out there, who you probably won't meet. Constantly getting GIGS until you find your soulmate feels a bit like refusing to buy a house until you find the perfect house out of all houses on earth - it seems silly. I think you can also tell pretty quickly if someone's genuinely going to be compatible with you, but obviously that part doesn't work if they wear a mask, which is often what happens. I also think men have a far worse time sussing out of someone is compatible with them because they're so driven by a woman's appearance and nothing else.

cinderella_rising · 2022-03-29T17:31:23+00:00

I gave birth to mine. 💗Daughters💗

As a romantic concept though, it’s limiting and nonsensical to believe in.

yggiwtmiih · 2022-03-29T14:21:46+00:00

I don't. How I think of a dynamic between two individuals (in any relationship, platonic or not) is like a dish. There are all different kinds of ingredients (people) in the world, and some people go amazingly together, some are just okay together, and some have no business even being on the same plate as one another. Every single person is so nuanced and different that no two relationships will be the same, but there is always potential to find a new delicious unique combination with another person you haven't tried yet.

HeatherandHollyhock · 2022-03-29T18:51:00+00:00

I do not believe in soulmates. But I do believe in learn-mates. As in: there are people, who take the experiences of life and make something very different of it all than you, but there are those, who experience life in a similar way and with those you can connect on a lot of levels quite easily. This spark of first sight out of some fairytale isn't Essential to that. Getting to know the thought and emotional process of someone else and be able to understand them deeply is.

SerialGeneralist · 2022-03-29T15:13:55+00:00

I didn’t believe in it until it actually happened.

Healingirl · 2022-03-29T20:36:11+00:00

I believe in naturally connecting emotionally with someone and in a way, you should be with someone you connect this way with. Now saying that they have to be HV as well. So yes but the other criteria to be qualified soulmate is to be HV.

DivineGoddess1111111 · 2022-03-30T00:53:07+00:00

Yes, I'm a very spiritually awake type.

The thing is, there are different kinds of soul mates. Some people can be multiple categories.

You know they are some kind of soul mate when you get this feeling of recognition when you first meet them.

There are soul family. These are souls that always incarnate with you. They might not be blood family members in this life.

There are karmic soul mates. These have incarnated with you to work off some sort of karmic debt owed. Also vice versa.

Then there are romantic soul mates. They are probably soul family and even karmic as well. You have more than one.

XRoze · 2022-03-30T23:42:29+00:00

I didn’t until I heard this Lizzo song, it’s been my anthem for a legit year now. It never gets old. Whenever I’m feeling lonely it always grounds me. When I’m having a great day, it elevates my mood even higher. It’s my favorite song to listen to on the way to the gym and while working out.

Damn now I wanna listen to it again today (for the 2nd or 3rd time). Some of the lyrics:

They used to say to get a man you had to know how to look They used to say to keep a man you had to know how to cook But I'm solo in Soho, sippin' Soju in Malibu It's a me, myself kinda attitude

'Cause I'm my own soulmate (Yeah, yeah) I know how to love me (Love me) I know that I'm always gonna hold me down Yeah, I'm my own soulmate (Yeah, yeah) No, I'm never lonely (Lonely) I know I'm a queen but I don't need no crown

Look up in the mirror like damn she the one One, one, one, one, one, one (The one) Like damn she the one One, one, one (The one) That bitch in the mirror like yeah, I'm in love Love, love, love, love, love, love (In love) Like yeah, I'm in love Love, love, love (In love) Look up in the mirror like damn she the one

And she never tell me to exercise We always get extra fries And you know the sex is fire And I gotta testify I get flowers every Sunday I'mma marry me one day

True love ain't something you can buy yourself True love finally happens when you by yourself So if you by yourself, then go and buy yourself Another round from the bottle on the higher shelf

peachtartx · 2022-03-30T01:05:44+00:00

I don’t believe there is only one person in the world who is your soulmate. I believe every person has multiple people out there in the world who would be potentially incredible partners for them, it just depends on where you go in life. It doesn’t have to be romantic either, and you could have multiple “soulmates.”

scritchandsnaff · 2022-03-30T02:15:34+00:00

Soulmates can be anyone, with any kind of relationship and you have an infinite number of them. Friends, families, lovers, etc.

I think people are confusing it with the concept of "twinflames" which simply put is only one other person who's literally made of your same soul essence. I don't really believe in it, at least I didn't until I had a very intense dream surrounding this idea. That being said I think if we're talking about "soul" energy, this person can be literally anywhere in the universe or even in different dimensions or living in a completely different time period.

It's extremely unrealistic you'll ever meet them in your human experience, and chances if you're a spiritual person and believe in life after death, you won't meet them for thousands/millions/or more years.

radfem_babe · 2022-03-30T03:23:47+00:00

No. I know we have so many horror stories about men. However, I truly believe there are multiple HVM on earth, that I would be compatible with and we could build a life together. It's all about being in the right place at the right time. Luck and Chance.

intergalacticanon44 · 2022-03-30T04:30:10+00:00

Yeah I believe in both platonic and romantic soulmates

Keepers12345 · 2022-03-30T07:07:44+00:00

In terms of a romantic soul mate...

I believe that the one that one chooses and marries becomes one's soul mate.

It's a soul thing but it's also a free will thing.

And sometimes, the first or etc. person doesn't work out.

So one finds a new soul mate to continue the life journey.

I really believe this

mashibeans · 2022-03-30T08:57:34+00:00

Nope, and that's coming from someone who heavily reads a TON of fanfiction, which has a lot of romance-related tropes like the soulmate stuff. Not even fanfiction can make the concept of soulmates (as "the one" romantic partner of your lifetime), believable. Even with all the explanations and suspension of disbelief, in my 30 or so years of reading, I have never found even a somewhat reasonable writing that made me think "ok I can accept it in this fictional scenario." Not even fictional writing can make the concept sound acceptable.

spinsterchachkies · 2022-03-30T09:05:32+00:00

No. It’s a farce

MamaGia · 2022-03-29T19:27:43+00:00

aquietsword · 2022-03-29T22:09:33+00:00

I consider myself to be spiritual and do belive in reincarnation, and as a result of that karmic connections. However, these are just connections and can be good or bad and can be romantic, platonic, or familial.

I don't really believe in a destined and divine romantic connection that you are meant to experience. That's something I haven't experienced and would have to experience to believe.

Noemie_Mathilde · 2022-04-01T09:56:09+00:00

Nah, you're either compatible or not. It's just a new age bs fantasy.

Title	Do you believe in the idea of soulmate or soulmates?
Author	fireforestfairy
Upvotes	238
Comments	55
Date	March 29, 2022 11:32 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/tqxoty/do_you_believe_in_the_idea_of_soulmate_or/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/do-you-believe-in-the-idea-of-soulmate-or.1109614 https://theredarchive.com/post/1109614

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