Should I leave a good woman just to be single?

stiff_muffins · 2022-11-28T15:50:14+00:00

Get therapy and discuss this with a trained professional. Talk to your wife about how you feel.

The grass is not always greener…

Small_Quarter_3673 · 2022-11-28T15:55:10+00:00

If she is a good woman ( which nowadays is rare) you can't talk to her about taking a trip so you can try it out. As far as sleeping with other women it's not all that exciting after a few times. If you don't want a family than go be single. We always want what we can't have

CommanderOfCheese45 · 2022-11-28T17:22:06+00:00

Dude, I'd love to have a wife like that. The woman I'm probably getting married to soon is better than that, but if my first wife were like that, I'd still be married to her.

Sounds like you're going through an early mid-life crisis. Find a professional to talk to about it.

syphon229 · 2022-11-28T18:25:38+00:00

Getting your dick wet with some skank is nothing compared to living your life with a good woman. Stop thinking with your dick, your in your 30s. News flash: Wanting to fuck other women, getting lost in adventure, and living a wild life is something WE ALL WANT lol. But the biggest lie we perpetuate in this culture is want = need and even worse ,want = good. I want to devour two pumpkin pies downstairs in the kitchen but I know it is better for my fat ass not to. I think you are entering a part of your life where you start to ponder what is really important. I just went through it myself (im 34) and realized I'm incredibly thankful for what I have. And take your wife out. Don't ask her, say "hey I signed us up for a salsa dancing/scuba/whatever class, let me know if it doesn't work and I'll move it"

softinvest · 2022-11-28T17:07:48+00:00

I would love to have married the woman you are describing. If the worst you can say after all those years is “lazy and boring” then I think you can work with that. Seek therapy, inject fun back into your lives. See what you can do for her. The grass is not greener and we should all appreciate the good ones.

On the flip side maybe you prefer the high highs and low lows. If so, maybe she’s not the one. A woman can be such a wonderful compliment to a man if she supports and acknowledges him. Realize that before you make your next move and you could be throwing that away forever

samk002001 · 2022-11-28T19:29:31+00:00

Grass is never greener on the other side! If you watch porn regularly, that will wire your brain to think this way, too. Tbh, if your heart is already planned to walk out from the marriage, there’s no therapy or magic pills to save that marriage. Good luck friend

mrcofffeeee · 2022-11-28T20:18:47+00:00

If your spouse is a good person I would suggest not to leave her. Its common at some point in marriage to have such kind of feelings but leaving a nice person is not worth all that fun. I would suggest developing hobbies and find people who like to do similar kind of things (apps like meetup might help).

There are plenty of nasty women out there who will do anything to make you fell in love with them but all they really want is your money and will ditch you in the most cruel way once they get what they want.

bes753 · 2022-11-28T15:45:10+00:00

Have you tried talking to her about why you are unhappy?

CB33isGMC · 2022-11-28T17:19:56+00:00

You made a commitment and you should try to honor it, especially if you have a wife holding up her end of the bargain.

There are ways as a man to have your cake and eat it too. You’d be surprised what women will agree to when you are honest and up front.

fishingforthought · 2022-11-28T17:23:16+00:00

You are worried about a presumption that you will be married for a long time. The odds are against you, staying married. Their are more now more divorce people than married.

FYI if you loved your spouse you would not have these thoughts. The grass only green where you water it.

mehmench · 2022-11-28T19:04:59+00:00

You are after a fantasy. Watch the movie High Fidelity for further description of what you're experiencing.

Maybe you're not happy, whatever.

zippyweinstein · 2022-11-28T20:44:52+00:00

We don’t know you. Some men are legitimately happier being single and uncommitted. Others just want to get laid because they married too young and live in a fantasy world that will collapse like a dying star.

PriestofSodom22 · 2022-11-28T21:42:16+00:00

Don’t, for real. Work on your shit, it totally sucks ass out here in the modern dating word.

Work on it and count your blessings that you HAVE a woman like that. Seriously

IcyEntertainment8673 · 2022-11-28T22:09:22+00:00

Don’t fix what isn’t broken. Different sex partners doesn’t equal a great sex life. Finding ONE great sex partner that can meet or exceed your desires is more than enough. Talk to your spouse, chances are she’s bored of the same ol’ sex routine too. Get a marriage counselor to sort out your feelings and plan trips with your spouse.

I think this is the wrong sub to ask this kind of question.

playerknowmore · 2022-11-28T20:16:54+00:00

Let me get this straight. You have a good woman. Who is not on Instagram looking to trade you in. Who seems like she will ride or die until the end. Should you leave her? Yes, but not for you will totally regret it. Do it for her she deserves better.

As a matter a fact you sound like a woman. They have a perfectly good husband, and leaves to see what is out there. Women require happiness. Men normally only require contentment. You want to give up a house with peace, to see what is in the streets. I don't care if your wife is dead dog ugly; you'd be amazed how many guys in here would trade their girl of their dreams Ex for her.

Robosnails · 2022-11-28T20:23:41+00:00

Honestly this post is enraging, I'd have given anything for what you have, and you're ready to toss it in the garbage to bang some sluts. Sex with other women will be exciting for maybe a week or two. Then you will wish you had a good wife to come home to and complain about work.

You do you, at least when you fuck yourself over you will have noone else to blame.

salty-sheep-bah · 2022-11-28T15:48:46+00:00

You should try planning a solo adventure for yourself in the near future. Maybe she'll change her tune and join you if she see's you'll go with or without her. Maybe she'll find it more entertaining than she thought it would be.

Barkaat · 2022-11-28T20:56:46+00:00

So you’re just going to destroy your marriage over pointless thoughts and fantasies? You’re lucky you got a wife like that and you’ll regret your decision for the rest of your life if you go ahead with this.You already have what 99 percent of the people don’t have and you are throwing it away and not realising its worth.

whatskeeping · 2022-11-28T22:35:32+00:00

Yep over rating single life. Big time.

C24zyfox · 2022-11-29T01:12:33+00:00

I would say no. Like everyone else here I agree a good woman is really hard to find. And you're going to be losing something that you will miss after the excitement of being single fades which it will. If you decide to leave her you'll be doing her a favor and not yourself

Upset_Opportunity_43 · 2022-11-28T21:39:37+00:00

If you have a good woman, I wouldn't leave. Good women these days are extremely hard to find, especially when they are loyal to you and treat you right.

Grass isn't always greener and when you burn a bridge, it is hard to restore that bridge. You may end up in a worse situation long-term.

Loftybalddude · 2022-11-29T09:00:27+00:00

Don’t be a fool , I would bend over backwards for genuine kind women . Not many out there man. I left a lovely women years ago as she was “boring” this women Would have done anything for me . I then married a crazy women who ruined my life . I think about that lovely women i let go A LOT !

onthisthing_ · 2022-11-29T14:50:09+00:00

Rupert Holmes tells a tale that offers all of the answers you seek.

1Cobbler · 2022-12-02T00:29:28+00:00

She sounds great. Can I have her? /jokes

90% of us would kill for someone who doesn't nag us to go to Europe every 2nd year or pointlessly renovate the house when it doesn't need it.

47omek · 2022-11-28T17:03:17+00:00

If you're already having these doubts despite her not being a profoundly negative aspect of your life then it's probably best to call it quits. Were you to accidentally have a child with her you'll be stuck and the marriage will transition from indifferent to negative. The point of marriage is not to endure it - it's supposed to be each of you mutually adding to each other's life. If being married to her takes more off the table for you than it adds there's no point in it. It's completely acceptable to live as an unmarried, free man and do not listen to any of the gynocentric crap that would shame you (omg Peter Pan Syndrome!) for putting yourself first and not being a plowhorse at the service of women and children. Given the current state of marriage/custody related laws it's basically the only safe way to operate. Good luck in whatever you choose.

dkblue1 · 2022-11-28T21:55:35+00:00

You were 24 years old when you married. You have no kids. I would divorce in your situation. It would be fair to both of you because 31 is really young. Better then turning 50 and feeling this way.

pk2at · 2022-11-28T15:52:39+00:00

Get a legal separation ASAP, then discuss your fantasies with your wife

CaliDude75 · 2022-11-28T18:34:07+00:00

This situation sounds salvageable. In my case, I just saw very little chance for meaningful change. And I got plenty of nagging, angry outbursts, laziness, entitlement, etc. My dating/social life has been a bit of a sh!tshow since the divorce, but I expected there would be a bit of a transitional period.

I think just some calm heart-to-heart talks might help patch things up. Don’t file unless you think your situation is beyond hope.

eliteshooter2013 · 2022-11-28T23:32:40+00:00

Shit send her my way!!!

endbooger · 2022-11-29T00:28:02+00:00

A lot of advice here. Some more sensible than other, so here's my two cents.

A lazy, unexciting wife now will can change but most likely will not. Like so many others have said, a good woman is worth fighting for. Seriously try talking, counseling, whatever to find out what her needs and wants are and let her know what yours are. At least then you can say you have given it a solid effort. Until then I would not act on this.

A lot of comments focused on you wanting to "get your dick wet". I think they latched on to the wrong point here. Many recently single men are going to do just that, why not, they're free. Go for it (just stay safe, lots of STDs out there). At some point you can and will find someone to spend quality time with and go on your adventures.

I have a friend who was married to his first wife for about 8 years until he could no longer handle her reluctant and (for a lack of better words) lazy demeanor. They divorced, now he is remarried and adopted her two kids. He and her are like two peas in a pod. Truly happy and super adventurous.

Could you end up regretting it? Yes, that's why you have to do everything you can before you pull that card.

dadmacintosh · 2022-11-29T01:01:48+00:00

She could be lazy sometimes… that turns to indifference after kids. I don’t encourage you to step out on your marriage but other women are just that. Sleep with one and you will realize sleeping around is not what’s cracked to be.

zelbot87 · 2022-11-29T01:53:44+00:00

It's hard to say without knowing the dynamics. Maybe you can get her out of it by having more date nights and gradually increasing the excitement?

A truly good woman who is compatible is hard to come by. And remember, the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

I obviously don't know you so idk what you seek. But are you looking for a change of pace or are you willing to risk it all? My first wife wore me down and I swore I'd always be single. I reconnected with my current wife (we were friends for almost 15 years but stopped talking when I got married the first time) and I couldn't be happier. But she gets me, understands me, and is compatible with me. Did I ever picture this in my first marriage? No. Did I ever think I would find someone and settle down after a divorce? Also no. But is it all worth it to me now? Abso-fucking-lutely. Follow your heart my friend and not momentary wants or desires.

Objective_Problem_90 · 2022-11-29T02:15:54+00:00

This adventure you seek sounds great from your point of view. Like others have said, it's not as great as we want to think. Plenty of broke, narcissistic crazies out there and after about a year, i was done with that and back to just working on myself. . If she truly is a good woman, keep her by finding solutions to resolve your concerns. If it's a sexless or less than you want issue, let her know that and that you want to improve the romance.

Disco_inferito · 2022-11-29T06:59:56+00:00

It’s hard to find a good woman bro… if you lose this one you may not be able to find another good woman again. Work it out, communicate, add some excitement to it.

Title	Should I leave a good woman just to be single?
Author	DonaldDeeeez
Upvotes	2
Comments	81
Date	November 28, 2022 3:27 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/z6zdgo/should_i_leave_a_good_woman_just_to_be_single/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/should-i-leave-a-good-woman-just-to-be-single.1141523 https://theredarchive.com/post/1141523

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