Another reason why we don’t do coffee dates

Practical_Appearance · 2022-01-21T18:34:01+00:00

On the last coffee date I went on (and with last I mean the last I would ever agree to) the guy paid for the coffee, and told me I could pay for the next date. A few minutes later he suggested a really good, but very expensive, restaurant for the next date. Lol no

FI-REfox · 2022-01-21T21:49:54+00:00

She didn't meet a guy "in Hoboken". She met Hobo Ken 💀

brylm92 · 2022-01-21T18:57:46+00:00

On the bright side, how much effort they put into dates is a great way to gauge their interest in you as an individual.

Do you think if they got a chance with Megan Fox they would ask her out for coffee? Ask her to go halfsies? Put the burden of planning an activity on her? No.

They’d be tripping over themselves to come correct and impress her, because that’s how they act when they give a shit what a woman thinks of them.

Davina33 · 2022-01-21T18:46:35+00:00

A cup of coffee is something I buy friends without even blinking about. I expect more than that from a man trying to date me. I've never been on a coffee or walking date. When I decide to date again, it will be dinner. Men like to offer coffee dates so they can juggle many "plates" as they like to put it.

I_know_right_AS_IF · 2022-01-21T18:27:05+00:00

I'm seriously waiting for the moment when a man says he'll take someone on a date in a "coffee shop" and then takes them to the coffee aisle in the grocery store.

This is close. Especially if they went 50/50 and got the coffee to go.

Ana_jp · 2022-01-21T21:06:49+00:00

I never did coffee and walk dates before the pandemic. I tried it 3 times once lockdown was lifted, and then I found this subreddit because the experiences were so sub-par I had to figure out why.

callmebubbles92 · 2022-01-21T19:40:38+00:00

I would die of embarrassment ever going on a coffee date. Just the idea of going to my local Starbucks (in which I am somewhat of a regular) but this time I am on a date. And then whenever I go there, I've never seen anyone on a date. It's people working, meeting up with friends, maybe some networking going on.

Specific-Composer300 · 2022-01-21T19:41:20+00:00

This is so disrespectful 😒

katiekat0214 · 2022-01-21T21:11:47+00:00

As a former full-time teacher, I had thought at one time that coffee dates were great for a first vet, so as not to waste time, see if there is compatibility, attraction, conversational flow, THEN go to dinner. To be honest, I'm still a bit torn, since my INTJ heart prioritizes not wasting time, and I also wouldn't want to get roped into an hour-plus long dinner with an ugly scrote. I guess I would feel like I'd need to stay at least an hour for a dinner. Is it okay to nope out if a dude is ugly, rude, no chemistry? My main thing is, I just don't want to waste time. An hour-long dinner with someone where there was just no chemistry would be torture.

BlueJeanMistress · 2022-01-21T22:02:47+00:00

Back in my dating days I would never meet a guy without knowing the name of the place we were going to! I keep reading on other subreddits how awkward dinner dates are but to me coffee dates are super awkward. They feel like an interview, there’s often limited seating, there’s no natural progression (unlike in a restaurant where you order a drink, a meal, the check comes) and last but not least it’s just not a romantic atmosphere.

sikulet · 2022-01-22T14:25:10+00:00

They admit doing this on other subs so they can date as many women at the lowest cost possible.

So basically if you agree to a coffee date, you enable the plate spinning behavior.

If he was really into you, the cash spent on a full dinner would be an ‘investment’

This is why online dating with coffee date is a great indicator of low value interest - it’s a very cheap way for men to get a woman’s time and attention.

Myplummms · 2022-01-22T15:53:42+00:00

Why are men so cheap but immediately want sex? I had this happen after a coffee date - he said he lived nearby and winked. I was aghast. The reasoning is insane. You wouldn’t even be able to pay a sex worker per hour what you pay for coffee on the first date.

galian84 · 2022-01-22T04:56:05+00:00

Ugh, I’m SO glad I’m not dating rn.

I see males are pulling this everywhere. Reminds me of a date I went on a couple years ago, where the guy showed up looking like a total mess, bought me a $5 coffee and a $3 tea from Starbucks and told me I can treat next time. Next time came and he sprung an expensive tea house on me. The he repeatedly try to suggest he come to my place for the next date. And then I found out he has a girlfriend of 3 years 😅 reported him to the OLD site and never spoke to him again.

Yeah, coffee is not a date. I do coffee “dates” with my friends and coworkers.

Noemie_Mathilde · 2022-01-22T10:48:24+00:00

He put the Hobo in Hoboken.,,

thewetdog_ · 2022-01-22T15:41:51+00:00

Manhattan to fucking Hoboken? Sis…

Keepers12345 · 2022-01-27T02:59:02+00:00

Also drinking coffee while you start dating someone, in general, can make it difficult to decipher if you're actually attracted to him, or if you're simply responding to the effects of the caffeine.

Some dating "tips" mention going out for a coffee date to elevate her heart rate, so her heart rate elevates, mimicking feelings of love/attraction.

https://www.scientificamerican.com/video/if-you-think-its-love-switch-to-decaf-how-we-misinterpret-emotional-arousal/

Title	Another reason why we don’t do coffee dates
Author	eatapeach18
Upvotes	1404
Comments	60
Date	January 21, 2022 6:03 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/s9gt9q/another_reason_why_we_dont_do_coffee_dates/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/another-reason-why-we-dont-do-coffee-dates.1211532 https://theredarchive.com/post/1211532

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