She's not in a hurry to get divorced all of the sudden

warrior_up · 2023-05-31T15:12:43+00:00

That's because she wants you as a safety net her plan B as you know what her plan A was - another man's bed . Cut the cord bro. There's no reconciliation with this one and this isn't the Disney channel.

Think about it man, she didn't give a shit about your feelings when she tried to monkey branch to her new man. Why would you give a shit now that it didn't work out for her, she belongs to the streets

She needs consequences, you need another woman that values and respects you enough not to whore around when she gets bored. Man up,and save some self respect, you're free, you're off the plantation, time to live your own life

ragingredditir · 2023-05-31T14:44:34+00:00

I agree with your take.

She had illusions she was missing out on something which is why she got on tinder to see what was out there.

Now she has had a taste of the real world and found out that: 1) Mr wonderful isn’t wonderful 2) Tinder life sucks 3) Raising a kid solo is exhausting 4) Having to work and pay your own bills can be soul crushing

Well she found out what she was missing out on. Stupid people win stupid prizes. I’d let her keep her trophy.

AlmostThere22 · 2023-05-31T14:53:05+00:00

Similar to my situation months ago.

You know what I did?

I went and filed for divorce on my terms.

If that bitch wants a divorce then give her a divorce.

She created this mess and shit should not be on her terms.

azwildcat74 · 2023-05-31T14:47:16+00:00

I think you shouldn't care what her rationale is and you should push to complete the divorce ASAP.

Jbr74 · 2023-05-31T15:19:44+00:00

For whatever reason the timing isn't right for her at the moment.

She needs a few more months or a year to get things lined up for her exit, better than she has it right now.

She'll still F you over whenever it benefits her.

No_Analyst_5235 · 2023-05-31T16:16:28+00:00

You called it … the grass isn’t greener .. usually they realize much later

guy_n_cognito_tu · 2023-05-31T14:38:28+00:00

Are you still financing her lifestyle in any way? Are you still paying on a shared apartment / house? Is she getting money from you from the child that's in excess of what she gets in the final agreement?

Many women slow WAY down on the process once they realize the financial implications of divorce. If you're still giving her money, she's not likely to change that until you force her.

upvotersfortruth · 2023-05-31T15:38:29+00:00

She’s not regretting her decision, her plan didn’t pan out. Take her back and then you’ll repeat the cycle. If you’re okay with her banging whoever she wants whenever she wants - go for it. Otherwise proceed - but it will be a bit painful from the legal perspective.

MightBusiness7231 · 2023-05-31T16:44:12+00:00

Yes she’s realizing you were worth keeping, but not honoring. She fucked up.

Old-Macaroon8148 · 2023-05-31T16:04:30+00:00

My guess is after 3 weeks with your kid Mr Wonderful realized raising somebody else’s kid in order to get laid isn’t as appealing as just getting laid. Oops. Now your wife will be entering the never ending cycle of pump and dumps many of these single moms choose over their loyal husbands. Don’t take her back.

Adventurous_Tie_4464 · 2023-05-31T15:29:28+00:00

Mediation is done. File for divorce. Guess the vacation didn’t go as planned. Really sad she put the kids in that position with nothing finalized. File and get a court date and move on with your life.

xadmin123 · 2023-05-31T16:28:35+00:00

She is a typical bpd

Skaeofficial · 2023-05-31T16:33:26+00:00

It sounds like the guy probably told her ass your not living with me and now she has to come back too you

Classic_Dill · 2023-05-31T17:38:43+00:00

He dumped her (possibly) or she wants some sap to be her personal bank account and now her beautiful plans have all come tumbling down, move on my son, move on.

You got yourself a bad apple sadly, but stay the course, cheaters cheat its a easy as that, youll never trust her.

stent00 · 2023-05-31T19:15:41+00:00

Never take back the trash once it's taken to the curb....never. all she wants is her provider back ... Aka her former meal ticket... YOU

ProcedureAltruistic3 · 2023-05-31T18:15:28+00:00

Exact same thing is happening right now with me. She ran off spent all her money and most of mine, rushed to get mediation done, agreed to pay ALL fees just to get it done, played around with her new boyfriend, the whole deal. Then all of a sudden the lawyer and finalizing wasn't a priority at all anymore. She says she'll pay it when she gets around to it now. And here I am wondering what the sudden change is. Guaranteed things are starting to get Rocky with the boyfriend because she realizes that he's not paying all of her bills and she has to be a grown up.

henrysmyagent · 2023-05-31T18:43:17+00:00

Is there anything more satisfying than hearing the woman, who constantly complained about how you never do enough to help her, discovering just how hard it is to be on her own?

Discovering that maybe that lazy X-box playing sonuvabitch actually contributed a hell of a lot to making her life easier!

Delicious.

silmarp · 2023-05-31T19:20:47+00:00

You are absolutely correct.

Thing is. When she was jumping from bed to bed she didn't have to know the dudes. They were all Mr wonderful because they didn't have to pay bills, take care of sick children and they had all the fun without any of the hassles of a real relationship. That's easy as a breeze. But once she started really living with the dude the dude either told her to screw or she noticed his first flaws. Then it didn't really work that much for her.

But based on what you wrote is probably because she still wants the dude but the dude won't ever commit to her. Then she thinks she can maybe stay with you but still have the dude on the side since he won't commit.

Don't forget to tell her something that hurts when you can. Like: "I'm not dating single mothers" or "I'm into younger women now".

TenOfZero · 2023-05-31T19:21:08+00:00

I've known a few women who did that, cheated, left their husbands/conjoin de fait, but then realize later that they messed up, and by then it's too late.

Bon courage mon ami.

Rustyrockets9 · 2023-05-31T20:55:23+00:00

Oh. I've been told my STBX is like this by her sis in law. Starts something and quits half way. But When I'm gone im gone!

DatabaseSpace · 2023-05-31T15:51:22+00:00

I'm not sure if almony was involved, but a common thing that terminates alimony is when a person moves in with someone from the opposite sex. The reason being that they now have financial support from another person. I'm wondering if she is going to go after you for that but realized sharing an apartment and utilities with someone else will void it.

Seemedlikefun · 2023-05-31T16:52:54+00:00

Have you at least consulted with an attorney to find out exactly what your options are?

Complicatedlogic · 2023-05-31T22:07:47+00:00

Sounds like she’s too proud to admit she messed up a good life. Delaying is one of the last bits of control she has when it comes to you. I’d consider getting the divorce done as soon as you can. I hope you get your freedom.

EnforcementX · 2023-06-01T00:17:11+00:00

She doesn’t need to pause the divorce in order to find a job and a place to live.

She’s either waiting to see how things pan out with this other guy, a new guy, or this is her first step in trying to sucker you in to taking her back. Don’t take her back. You aren’t her safety blanket anymore, not after she cheated on you and agreed to a divorce so she could sow her wild oats.

Adulting is hard. She was probably banking on replacing your financial and lifestyle support with his, and he was like … nah. Her dating pool as a 30+yo single mother won’t be the same as it was 10-12 years ago. She’s likely realizing that now.

Not your problem, mate. Don’t be her ATM or her plan B.

AnonJetlag · 2023-05-31T18:24:13+00:00

The calling of the streets is too strong.

winpowguy · 2023-06-01T04:58:02+00:00

They lose power when: They age Each time they have a kid Each time they choose a new partner

Now - she has so much less power than before… it’s awful to look at it that way.. but fuck people who take ‘our’ life options away.

Key_Preference_4594 · 2023-06-01T05:00:01+00:00

The guys dumped her and you’re her plan B. Don’t be a sucker, be like me. Once I found out my ex wife was seeing another guy I quickly got rid of her. Gave her a million dollar house. No sweat. Made it back in 6 months.

nhukcire · 2023-05-31T22:46:15+00:00

*all of a sudden

Nifty880 · 2023-05-31T21:53:18+00:00

Are you guys Mormon or Muslim immigrants?

thenotknown2022 · 2023-06-02T23:18:41+00:00

i think once people break up, whether its in a marriage or a relationship, that its doomed.

eventually you will get divorced no matter what. I cannot think of a single time where the marriage or relationship has no eventually ended again, whether it takes 1 week or 1 decade.

the trust is gone and the precedent of just leaving has been set, its done.

New_suite · 2023-06-03T02:46:07+00:00

How did she pay your fees if she doesn’t work. Did you mean she used your money to pay?

Title	She's not in a hurry to get divorced all of the sudden
Author	skirted_dork
Upvotes	86
Comments	95
Date	May 31, 2023 2:33 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/13wnxgo/shes_not_in_a_hurry_to_get_divorced_all_of_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/shes-not-in-a-hurry-to-get-divorced-all-of-the.1220877 https://theredarchive.com/post/1220877

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