CMV: If men are trash you're the dumpster

wtknight · 2023-07-21T01:51:55+00:00

OP, please make a small edit to your post in order to bring up the AutoModerator.

ApprehensiveDot3115 · 2023-07-21T00:49:02+00:00

I feel sorry for women who say this, and things like it. A person doesn't just come to those conclusions out of nowhere, such an aggressive stance can only come from a pile of negative experiences they've had with men.

At the same time, I couldn't date them. I've had to stop doing that. I don't want to be with someone who's predisposed to seeing me as the enemy anymore, because they've got always some unnecessarily charged argument or resentment brewing about how 'men are trash' when you accidentally trigger them. They assume the worst.

I've had my fair share of shitty women, but I don't let myself assume every new girl I'm dating is going to be awful. What kind of emotional headspace does that set up for a relationship?

I'd recommend not tolerating it guys. Don't try to argue with it because 'men are trash' talk is socially acceptable at the moment, so you're not going to get anywhere trying to prove them wrong. Instead, quietly move on from those types of women because on some level they see you as awful just cause you're a dude, even if you don't do any of the 'trash' things they talk about.

itiswhatitis1090 · 2023-07-21T01:39:54+00:00

You run into a jackass in the morning, you run into a jackass in the afternoon, you run into the jackass at night, guess what? You're the jackass. We tend to attract certain potential partners.

killer_tofu101 · 2023-07-21T00:53:37+00:00

I don't trust any lady that says all men are garbage nor any man who says all women are crazy. If you are having that much issue with an entire group of people, you must partially be part of the "problem".

I just don't get how people are only meeting crappy people. No one I dated was a horrible person, and I understand I'm probably lucky. But how is every relationship some crazy melodrama? lol

It reminds me of the girls who don't hang out with other women because "they are too much drama." Huge red flag for me when someone says that.

itm4l2000 · 2023-07-21T05:44:22+00:00

Had this discussion. It's love bombing and future faking many women can't help themselves. They are addicted to a replacement for their daily affirmations from a man and then fall for that stuff.

It's 2023, women need to wake up and realise if he isnt love bombing or future faking you in the early stages it's because he is unsure about you and how about YOU start reciprocating a bit more without the entitlement, do a little bit of work in the early stages of a relationship.

Women who expect the man to do everything in the early stages and get love bombed and fall for it all the time deserve what they get.

microwavecancer · 2023-07-21T02:14:55+00:00

We are all trash. Every one of us. Nobody is a catch.

waffleznstuff30 · 2023-07-21T01:55:56+00:00

I think it's a collective take of bad behaviors perpetuated by men in the dating scene. Are all men trash obviously not? There are amazing men. Men who should be examples. Men who understand bad behaviors and not to do them. And usually those men are partnered and not available to date.

But are there a lot of trashy behaviors perpetuated in today's dating scene? Yes. And unfortunately when you are single in the dating pool these trashy men are going to be in the pool as well because they are trashy and single because they are trashy. And more than likely you are going to come across this than come across someone well meaning.

And it's dishonest to say that all unattractive men are the well meaning ones that get glossed off. Because they would HAVE to be an option in the first place. If you're not attracted to that person you are not attracted to them. It's like being upset at a flamboyant gay man for liking men? They won't see my attraction or my value as a partner because I am not even on the menu. Same thing for women if you aren't it you aren't it and you move along and find someone that is instead of chastising them about not seeing your worth and value as someone they aren't attracted to.

So back to trashy men behaviors that get the term men are trash:

*Sleeping with women you have no intent of actually dating. So you will lie about intentions and manipulate someone into a sexual situation string them along. Then "pump and dump" them. Like it's a normal behavior to use another human being and discard them. That's trashy behavior.

*Emotionally abuse/breadcrumb/toy with someone's feelings for validation or an ego boost. But when they start coming back and you got them hooked pull back that effort once you got the girl and got the ego boost. Either in a relationship start pulling the effort back til they get tired of it and leave or in the talking stage just fizzle out. But make the woman in this feel like she's the problem. Negging/being overly critical of a woman you are dating and wanting access to, to bring them down a few pegs so their self esteem is low enough to deal with that nonsense. That's trashy behavior.

*Complaining about not getting sex when you paid for dinner on a date with someone you just met once. You met this person once and you want to put them in possibly the most vulnerable place a person can be. Over a dinner?! If it doesn't work it doesn't work and oh well you didn't have to make dinner for yourself and shared it with a stranger. You act like money is the same thing as access to someone's body. And it's not my bills are the same thing as someone getting access to my body and putting me in a vulnerable situation it's my bills and they are paid. So acting like money is the same thing is trashy behavior.

*Putting women into categories of fuck/marry whatever . Then why waste their time? Why do all that work lead them on spend time on you. Put effort into with no intent of treating them with love and respect. Like women's existence has to be tailored to your sensibilities like they exist to just please and entertain you. So you find a glaring red flag okay that's valid but why waste her time and effort if it's not for you. Instead of having an honest discord and breaking things off. Oh you may not get laid the horror. But it's more respectable for both parties.

*Lie about who you are as a person because you are really just trying to sleep with them get with them but no intent of bonding with them as a person. Lovebombing them. Treat them great until your done and the mask comes off. Say your a guy that hates hiking but you get with a girl who LOVES hiking. Suddenly you get her go on a few hikes but you actually hate hiking it's not for you. So this fun thing she thinks you like to do together becomes this arduous task for you that you don't want to do at the frequency she likes . So you make her feel bad about wanting to go hiking because you don't want to do it. Even though she had no idea that you didn't like it because you presented yourself as someone who likes hiking. So now she is unhappy because she thought something meaningful that you can enjoy together but now it's a chore.

Hyperfixation on sex and sexuality. That sex is the end all best all interaction you can get. So basically slide into the DMs be sexual and seem surprised she is creeped out by this. It's weird. Match a girl on an app and expect like Uber eats of sex without formalities and expectations ? And seem butthurt she doesn't want to sleep with a complete stranger. Asking for nudes. Generally leaning a good conversation into sexual territory. Policing girls body counts oh she can't have too many she can't actually enjoy sex too?! Oh the horror. But yes let's go after the girl with less bodies because she can't expect better. And then being bad at the very act you preach is so important and you lie manipulate for. Not bothering to learn what the persons body likes.

*Cheating. Getting a whole ass relationship then entertaining bodies on the side. And normalizing it by saying some evo psyche buzz words "men are just programmed different" "it's not big deal". But expect 100% loyalty from your partner. You can't expect one thing then do the opposite it doesn't work like that.

So when it's said men are trash it's because encounters with men who do these behaviors in the dating scene. And you are more than likely going to come across this than not. Because if we boil it down to statistics these men have a high turnover. Thus more chances to match/meet with women because they aren't committed. So these awful behaviors pollute the dating pool and make women more guarded and resentful.

MyLastBestChance · 2023-07-21T00:27:56+00:00

What about the women who reject all of the trashy men? Obviously we can’t control who approaches or messages us disgusting crap so if we dismiss all trashy men out of hand are we allowed to talk about it?🤣

coldhazel · 2023-07-21T01:52:58+00:00

A woman that says that is the XX version of the man who says all women are stupid. There's a lot of people in general that you're better off not spending time with.

badgersonice · 2023-07-21T20:29:47+00:00

Yeah, for the most part. But I also have some sympathy, especially for people who keep winding up pursued by really charming, but horrible people.

Abuse victims, especially victims of childhood abuse, tend to seek out other abusers, which is pretty unfortunate. I don’t blame people for being victims as a child. Even if it is their responsibility to heal and learn to seek better partners, calling them “trash” for being victims is backwards and cruel.

And likewise, there was a study done on violent prison inmates, and the psychopaths were much better at picking out women who had been victims of sexual assault just based on just the they walked in video. Other studies suggested that psychopaths choose their female victims based largely on perceived submissiveness*.

Since these awful people target the people they think they can get away with hurting based on things as simple as how they walk or move, I don’t buy that everyone who dates “trash” or “dumpsters” is actually seeking it out on purpose. Psychopaths really do target them for things that are not usually considered a red flag.

I’m really not ready to blame women for just walking the wrong way… and I suspect there’s likely some other body language reasons for some men being more targeted by horrible women as well.

*I’ll also note that a lot of men on this sub consistently argue that a woman being more submissive is sooooo attractive and wonderful in a woman, and that women not being submissive is unattractive and masculine and horrible. So here, this is women being targeted by horrible people for demonstrating a trait that many men here (who claim to be good men) claim is one of the most important high value traits a woman can have… and yet it also leads to them attracting the worst kind of trash. Apparently either some green flags lead to being attractive to horrible horrible men, or these men on here insisting they want submission are not as good and nice as they think they are.

Ainsleygz · 2023-07-21T02:17:00+00:00

Cum dumpster 😎

Zombombaby · 2023-07-21T12:21:07+00:00

I'm with trash men because a trash man raised me and had a whole fear campaign that I had to settle for trash men because that's all that exists. I'm in therapy now but yeah, turns out it's a multi-generstional campaign to keep women in trashy men cycles.

Traditional-Bad-4055 · 2023-07-21T00:39:28+00:00

Sick burn

RandumbThrowawayz · 2023-07-21T06:51:21+00:00

Im bi. Everyone is trash

SmoothForest · 2023-07-21T08:51:12+00:00

It's kinda like when people will dedicate hours every day into shitting on a popular tv show, making youtube video essay after video essay about how bad it is, and then they do it... for every single episode. They watch every single episode and frame-by-frame analyze about how bad it is. They create entire communities around talking about how bad the show is. And at a certain point you have to realize... these people clearly don't hate the show. IF they hated it, then they'd critique it a few times, and then ignore it and stop watching it. But it's because they love it so much that they're shitting on it all the time. They love it so much that they're not satisfied with it being "good". They have much higher expectations for it than anything else, so they critique it constantly in the hopes of it getting better, because abandoning it is not an option for them. They can't live without it. They're obsessed.

And I think that's the case for men-hating misandrists and women-hated misogynists. Both of them spend all their time shitting on the opposite gender, writing books about how the opposite gender is trash, starting entire podcasts about it, forming entire communities about it, starting and attending in-person events and talk shows about it. It's not because they hate the other gender. It's actually because they're so obsessed with the other gender that they can't live without the other gender loving them in the way that they want.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-07-21T10:29:01+00:00

There are two possibilities here: either you're really good at identifying women with bad qualities and things work out as you say (unlikely) or you're quite bad at it other than those who are very easily spotted and think you're better than you are because you never realise the bad qualities of women you interact with (likely). Often these things are hidden for a while and can't be spotted from the superficial. And often there's a specific kind of target these people will pick, and through no fault of their own (for example, they're quite vulnerable).

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-07-21T12:18:25+00:00

Any woman is going to have some run ins with awful men and any man is going to have some run ins with awful women. Trash men especially are quite common and usually do not show their trashiness right away. But if that’s ALL you’re finding the yeah, the common denominator is you.

modidlee · 2023-07-21T12:26:57+00:00

There’s no culture or society that exists where one gender is just objectively “better” than the other. They’re a reflection of each other. If men are trash women are trash. If women are trash men are trash.

AstronautLoveShack · 2023-07-21T01:26:04+00:00

So what does that say about the men who say this kind of shit about women? Are they also dumpsters?

Most women do not think all men are trash btw. They think some of the behavior that they’ve encountered from men is trashy. And that is fair, honestly.

macone235 · 2023-07-21T05:10:11+00:00

Women say this in hopes they can turn other women off these men to secure them for themselves. They obviously don't think they're trash or they wouldn't be getting with them.

It just so happens that 80% of men are inadvertently effected by this behavior that have done nothing wrong.

thetruthishere_ · 2023-07-21T03:01:52+00:00

I dont see men as trash. I just know some are not so great. Lots of people no matter what gender or what they identify as can be no so great.

I think its about 50/50 who is a mess but in different ways.

Lets say we each have our 'things'. Like men can be more 'aggressive' and women can be more 'emotional'.

Rhinosaur666 · 2023-07-21T10:26:16+00:00

In case you haven't noticed, complaining about men is a woman's national sport.

Lovedbythesunandmoon · 2023-07-21T16:09:41+00:00

All single men in my age group are trash. That's why they're single. It's not a matter of who a woman chooses when all the choices left are shit. Good men are few and far between and they get snatched up early.

one_little_victory_ · 2023-07-21T04:48:31+00:00

Have some fucking empathy. Educate yourself and learn to regard women as human beings who matter.

JournalistNo9240 · 2023-07-21T00:39:41+00:00

So why did the mods hide that auto-reply? So men couldn't say "That's amazing and I'm stealing that"?

Fishy ass behavior mods, fishy ass behavior. Also not getting any feedback on my submitted post whatsoever. Very fishy.

Zestyclose_Truth9999 · 2023-07-21T08:49:49+00:00

If all the men you're speaking to are trash, then you're most likely the dumpster

Not really —> going by the women I've met that say this, most of them have insanely low self-esteem.

One of my ex-friends routinely went for the shittiest of men because they stroked her ego. The big selling point was essentially telling her how ugly and stupid all other women are (including her friends... in front of those friends), and she'd lap it right up.

Then, whenever these men would invariably cheat on her, she'd tell us that ALL men are rubbish.

TL;DR: Women that ALWAYS have awful experiences with men tend to have painfully low self-esteem and willingly overlook red flags in order to have their egos stroked.

ZukeIRL · 2023-07-21T10:32:01+00:00

Usually the trash men are also narcissistic and have an unreasonable level of confidence which is pretty much all you need to get with a lot of women if you’re even semi attractive

0814235068 · 2023-07-21T12:14:53+00:00

You’re right , if I was a women I wouldn’t simply be a radical feminist who supports separatism.

GlamSunCrybabyMoon · 2023-07-21T12:16:19+00:00

It’s possible to see behaviors and thoughts in people (as a collective) and be able to say this. Like we see the things men who are complete strangers say here every day.

gntlbastard · 2023-07-21T16:40:50+00:00

If men are trash what exactly are women trying to equalize?

AidsVictim · 2023-07-22T02:24:20+00:00

Most women with this viewpoint are a) primarily dating low income and/or unstable men b) are overly neurotic with high standards c) have a lot of baggage from failed relationships, usually having been cheated on more than once.

It's a mix of their choices/preferences in partners (boring stable guy vs exciting unstable guy) and circumstance (stuck in lower class dating pool etc).

I see at least as many women with "trashy" behavior as men but most people calling the other gender trash aren't interested in objectivity.

begayallday · 2023-07-22T17:25:18+00:00

A vast majority of the “trash” men I have encountered are men I have not had any kind of romantic/sexual relationship with. You don’t have to have been involved with any men to have had very negative experiences with them.

eye_of_gnon · 2023-07-22T19:31:25+00:00

a lot of those men are attractive precisely because they're trashy. Women complain about stuff all the time but end up doing them anyway, young guys need to learn not to take the complaints too seriously

itdoesnotmatterlolol · 2023-07-23T14:37:05+00:00

Every woman I dated who said some variation of men are shit has been a deeply insecure trainwreck who needed years of therapy and a decade of self improvement

plinyy · 2023-07-24T07:19:29+00:00

I think this is pretty reductive. I see both sexes being treated awful because that’s what they think they deserve.

When you mean someone, they oftentimes aren’t trash at the beginning. A lot of horrible people know not to show their true colors at first. You can look for certain signs but really it comes down to having boundaries and the self-respect to leave.

Title	CMV: If men are trash you're the dumpster
Author	FutureBannedAccount2
Upvotes	110
Comments	123
Date	July 21, 2023 12:20 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1558541/cmv_if_men_are_trash_youre_the_dumpster/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-if-men-are-trash-youre-the-dumpster.1225930 https://theredarchive.com/post/1225930

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