Q4M: how would you feel if a girl put you on a pedestal?

ThrowawayHomesch · 2023-11-28T23:37:42+00:00

I am in a long distance relationship with a girl like that who lives in Korea. To be honest, she makes me feel amazing. She cares about my likes and dislikes, my sexual preferences, my hobbies and interests, and tries her best to make me happy. These days she works like 12 - 16 hours a day due extra workload from the Holiday season, but she still makes time to talk to me over the phone and on video call, even if she gets by with like 4 or 5 hours of sleep.

She is not that good looking (she is 3/10 and I'm about 4.5/10), but she more than makes up for it with her personality. I love her so much and can't wait to finally see her in person.

SecondEldenLord · 2023-11-29T00:10:06+00:00

As someone who was never praised or complimented by women ever (I am 33), I would definetly start crying of happiness probably and would try to make that woman my wife.

bifewova234 · 2023-11-29T00:39:37+00:00

Its good to be king

thedarkracer · 2023-11-28T22:36:53+00:00

Bro is giving us an impossible scenario to imagine lol. We can't even imagine someone complimenting us let alone put us on a pedestal.

Konoha_Shinobee · 2023-11-29T02:08:22+00:00

All these reasons women invent to reject men they weren't interested in anyway.

No it wouldn't be a turnoff. If she's clingy to the point of being annoying we can work through it, if as I'm attracted to her as the premise states, I don't see why this would be a problem. People with that level of interest don't just show up every day, it would be a waste to pass up on the opportunity because she's too interested.

MikeArrow · 2023-11-28T22:54:25+00:00

My ex never got to that degree but she was a people pleaser at heart and usually kowtowed to whatever I wanted to do. I'm going to be honest, it made me feel good. Powerful. I enjoyed the attention and getting the ego boost.

PMmeareasontolive · 2023-11-29T00:46:24+00:00

It sounds good. There's several things that are positive in that scenario; she gives you the benefit of the doubt. That may sound like a "so what", but it's actually pretty rare and very generous of spirit. Probably an indicator of a pretty good person. It's also a sign of creativity, since she has to be imaginative to interpret things that are probably more neutral as positives. It's the opposite of the person who is cynical/critical about everything.

Generally, people need to learn how to be more encouraging with their partners, men or women. Sounds like this hypothetical person would have a jump on being competent at that.

Bouldershoulders12 · 2023-11-28T23:19:15+00:00

I’d favor her because her actions are showing me she is attracted . That’s how I decided the person I got into a LTR with.

Women have to care more to make it work

Wattehfok · 2023-11-29T03:46:43+00:00

My self esteem is too poor for it to cause anything but severe cognitive dissonance

SlowEffective8146 · 2023-11-28T23:02:36+00:00

I won't date a woman unless she puts me on a pedestal.

Fun_Push7168 · 2023-11-29T00:35:18+00:00

I've had this once to a heavy degree.

It was very sweet, I loved it at first and probably would have been into it if not for a few outside problems.

A. She was hurt and desperate for male attention. I could see that any man could easily get her if he paid enough attention and I considered her a big risk of cheating, especially if I didn't return the obsession. Which I may have if not for my trepidation about whether that would fully make the difference.

B. She was very rich and I was very poor and I worried excessively about fitting into her world. I worried I'd offend her family and whole neighborhood just by parking my car at her house. The difference was massive.

C. I'm probably an idiot for breaking it off with a hot, rich, and talented lady who did everything she could to make me happy.

Steakman1 · 2023-11-29T01:23:36+00:00

Depends on how far she goes with it. If it’s to the point where’s she’s overly clingy, financially irresponsible just to please me, or threatens to kill herself if I left her, then that would be an issue. But if she’s just really going out of her way for me, then that sounds good to me. One of the guaranteed ways to get me interested in a woman, assuming I find her physically attractive, is to put in effort like that.

Because women generally aren’t just trying to get in a man’s pants, women don’t have the same pressure to be dominant and masculine, and the fact that men rarely get pedestalized, I think it would have a different effect than how it does when men pedestalize women. But I completely understand why women would be turned off by men pedestalizing them.

FatefulMender89 · 2023-11-29T01:31:23+00:00

At my age I would immediately sense desperation. I dated someone who was desperate so I know where that leads. Short term fling at best

abaxeron · 2023-11-29T11:31:29+00:00

It feels great.

The reason we put women on a pedestal is because this is how we intuitively understand love should work.

In rare and almost impossible instances when we get this treatment back, it feels like a dream come true.

grillopie · 2023-11-28T23:34:32+00:00

it might be fun for a short while, but would get scary quick. my biggest fear is a woman threatening to kill herself if i left her. ive heard a story like this and any pathological obsession would start triggering me.

LogicalLetterhead272 · 2023-11-28T23:48:16+00:00

It wouldn't turn me off - I'd love the attention, actually - but it would make me question the longevity of the relationship. In the rare instances that a woman puts a man on a pedestal, it's ususally because she was recently in an abusive relationship, or because she's coping with some sort of loss, or has some self-esteem issues. None of these problems would make me less attracted to her, but I'd want to help her fix them in a healthy way.

I'd reassure her that she doesn't need to do all those things for me, and that she should make sure her needs are being met, too.

Least_Ride1826 · 2023-11-29T01:31:19+00:00

Sounds fantastic! Where do I sign up?

ComfortableJeans · 2023-11-28T22:29:57+00:00

I don't really give a fuck how any girl feels about me if I don't have feelings for her also.

KayRay1994 · 2023-11-29T02:48:20+00:00

it would def turn me off - i’d want her to have a life outside of me plus putting someone on a pedestal immediately means they’ll attach themselves onto you in an unhealthy way, give someone like the chance to get really close and you’ll be stuck in an emotionally taxing, draining unhealthy relationship

Luciansleep · 2023-11-28T22:21:25+00:00

I didn’t care

FutureBannedAccount2 · 2023-11-29T02:53:26+00:00

I'd love it and reciprocate but at the same time wouldn't take advantage of it.

Finding_Myway · 2023-11-29T11:36:46+00:00

I have dated women where I have put on a pedastal and ones where they have put me in that position.

To be frank, I liked it alot. Something interesting to note is that men simply do not have the 'ick' the same way women do. Our icks are simply more visual based.

I've seen women say the craziest things when it comes to 'icks' that i simply could not comprehend a man saying.

gntlbastard · 2023-11-29T14:48:19+00:00

No, you never put people on a pedestal because that's when you get treated like shit. You are essentially elevating that person to be above you. You ever hear of an example where the master treats the servant well? Never happens. Same shit.

happy_discus · 2023-11-29T15:18:07+00:00

Weirded out. I am a human not some Indiana Jones type artifact.

Mobrowncheeks · 2023-11-29T00:06:42+00:00

I don’t like it. I need a grown adult for a partner, not to be someone’s dad lol

Toxic_LigmaMale · 2023-11-29T00:47:47+00:00

Nobody wants to be someone’s sole source of happiness. They might think they do until they actually are put into that position. It honestly sucks. Most people want their partner to be emotionally self sufficient. That doesn’t mix with putting someone on a pedestal.

_Ad_Astra_Abyssosque · 2023-11-29T01:24:31+00:00

The girl I lost my v-card to was like this. Literally worshipped the ground I walked on. Honestly... I loved it. She set the tone for the rest of my relationships. If she's not obsessed with me, I dont want it.

CradleCity · 2023-11-28T22:47:58+00:00

Depends on if I was attracted to her or not. In either case, I wouldn't know how to respond initially, other than the likely possibility I'd feel confused and would ask myself if she's trying to sell me something, or scam me, or use me for a favor.

Because it's extremely unlikely a woman would ever act that way towards me.

wtknight · 2023-11-28T23:51:44+00:00

I'd love it as long as she didn't go so far as to try to control my behavior.

Barely-moral · 2023-11-28T22:56:28+00:00

It is hard to even imagine but if I take the behavior usually seen in a male simp and I take that as a baseline to conceptualize the treatment I would be getting from this hypothetical woman...

I would probably think she is trying to drug me, kidnap me and sell my organs...

If I believe she is honest about it and I was single then I am dating her and returning the favor because it is only fair to reward that kind of behavior.

I want to live in a world in which the people that are that dedicated to the object of their affection are rewarded.

illusoryfindings · 2023-11-29T07:55:36+00:00

Great, every relationship I've had was like this. That level of devotion is so romantic, especially when you're used to doing most of the legwork in the early dating phase, in terms of pursuing and providing things.

It's such a vulnerable, and frankly submissive, form of love on her part. The continuous nature of it proves to you this feeling is not just another one of her many fleeting emotions, but a constant in her being. It makes your life easier, both practically and emotionally. The sacrifice and humility on her part for you and only you makes you adore her.

It's so unlike most women to be like this too, you're used to being seen as a court jester or social accessory, especially in the initial stages of dating. It's nice to be seen as a king instead.

Aafan_Barbarro · 2023-11-29T08:27:34+00:00

The ideal is that she wants him a bit more than he wants her and it's healthier than the opposite. But there is a line where it gets too much.

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StringPrudent9223 · 2023-11-29T01:33:19+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Human-Ad-1145 · 2023-11-29T05:14:09+00:00

It would be nice having someone that loves you.

philseven12 · 2023-11-29T10:19:02+00:00

well i have enough maturity to allow myself to be treated well without looking down on her and feeling like i can take advantage. if you treat most ppl like a celebrity you can expect to be treated as a fan

i think both genders would likely take advantage at some point if they had a partner place them on a pedestal. personally i don’t feel the need to dunk on women

meisterkraus · 2023-11-29T10:48:21+00:00

As long as it was not to the point of self destruction it would be nice. Feeling like you are desired is nice. It seems people nowadays conflate putting in effort with putting a person on a pedestal.

AceOfSpadesGymBro2 · 2023-11-29T11:53:12+00:00

There is a universal that states:

People never want what they can get and always want what they can't get.

I've had women simp for me like that. At first, it feels amazing, but then.....then you figure out that the reason they put you on a pedestal isn't because you are so fucking amazing and godlike, but because of their own neediness. It really becomes all about them and feeding their deep insecurities.

That's why neediness and putting others on a pedestal is such a turn off. I tell men all the time that their obsession with women and sex and considering those things a need is what is tripping them up. Women can sense when you "need" them and when they can easily control you and manipulate you with the promise of pussy. It's a huge turn off for women to be able to easily control a man and a huge turn on when they cannot control a man using their sex or affection.

Royally_Chuckd · 2023-11-29T15:35:52+00:00

I have a relationship like that with my primary partner. It's awesome. Over time, it's built into a D/s dynamic. She's so much happier knowing I care enough to establish discipline for our household.

It's not for everyone, though. It took a while to break my social conditioning and to be comfortable in my masculinity and in my dominance. At first, I did feel mildly misogynistic, and that did give me a slight ick.

But with time and observation, I came to believe that's what women want in men: in different flavors and to various degrees, women want men they can pedaltilize. They enjoy looking up to us, it excites them, and makes them feel protected. It got easier for me once I started seeing that in my own life.

So, I do encourage women to pedaltilize their man. You might be surprised that he rises to the occasion and you'll both be happier. Or you'll find out he won't, and you can do what you want with that info.

And men... I hate that I have to say this... don't try and put yourself on a pedastool. It will go poorly...

Title	Q4M: how would you feel if a girl put you on a pedestal?
Author	Windmill_flowers
Upvotes	16
Comments	96
Date	November 28, 2023 10:10 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1868dmz/q4m_how_would_you_feel_if_a_girl_put_you_on_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4m-how-would-you-feel-if-a-girl-put-you-on-a.1239571 https://theredarchive.com/post/1239571

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