Does anyone else think flirting is so embarrassing?

OKSector69 · 2023-12-17T19:37:29+00:00

Do women like flirting?

Yes of course they do if they're attracted to you.

Are there relationships that were formed because of it?

Yep.

krayon_kylie · 2023-12-17T19:48:05+00:00

curious what your interpretation of flirting is lol

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2023-12-17T19:58:42+00:00

Do women like flirting?

Absolutley beats the shit out of an overwrought, Hallmark rom-com proposal for a date from a man who has no idea she isn't attracted.

If he makes a lighthearted, no pressure comment about how attractive or interesting she is, she is free to ignore or throw it back. When he says "Excuse me madam, I couldn't help but notice your style and find you to be very attractive and was wondering if I might obtain your number and socials for the purpose of courting and potentially having sexual relations with you"

DarkSp3ctre · 2023-12-17T20:24:21+00:00

Lol I flirt with my friends all the time. It’s a lot of fun especially when they flirt back

blebbyroo · 2023-12-17T20:24:17+00:00

So how do you think people should show interest if you think it’s all cringe?

boredom4321 · 2023-12-17T20:03:03+00:00

uh what? Fliriting is just conversation with some sexual overtones to show intent. Are talking about canned pick up lines or something?

If you think all flirting is cringe then sorry for the cliche but you must really not be social at all.

grillopie · 2023-12-17T20:17:46+00:00

it can be cringey but doesnt have to be. its not so much what is said, but how it is said. a simple compliment can be flirting. a snarky comment can be flirting too. its just verbally communicating vague romantic interest without being explicit about it.

i think most relationships had plenty of flirting that helped it progress. it seems like it would be hard to provide the amount of stimulation and attention that lots of people want in a new relationship without the subtlety of flirting. it would be like this scene from the lobster.

i think its important to be able to do it, but you can flirt in your own way so long as you get your point across.

Capital-Literature-9 · 2023-12-17T22:17:47+00:00

I'd really not want to meet you if how you act in the comments is indicative of how you are in real life.

ConanTheCybrarian · 2023-12-18T13:59:39+00:00

Yes. we like flirting with guys who we are interested in

yes- most relationships start this way.

Are there relationships that start WITHOUT flirting?

TermAggravating8043 · 2023-12-17T20:27:20+00:00

I’m woman, I like flirting, not just with guys I find attractive but guys I don’t either. I find it makes the atmosphere very enjoyable and there have been times in the past I’ve flirted with guys I didn’t fine attractive but it brought out a confidence in them which actually made them attractive

CalmNeedleworker3100 · 2023-12-17T22:22:23+00:00

It just seems so cheesy and forced

Sometimes it's the opposite of forced. It's like 2 people who like each other can't help but flirt with each other.

purplish_possum · 2023-12-17T23:43:03+00:00

When done well flirting is great.

Unfortunately 90% of people suck at flirting.

Geselshaft · 2023-12-17T20:19:52+00:00

It’s supposed to be fun and not embarrassing.

The verbal give and take of innuendo.

Might as well say jousting is embarrassing.

I guess if you flirt and go down in flames, continually do it with you’re equal and opposite party.

RealMenEatPussy · 2023-12-17T19:38:16+00:00

Are you artistic or anything? I have no idea what you’re experiencing but it feels you’re just projecting your own dislike of it onto the world around you.

shockingly_bored · 2023-12-18T00:01:49+00:00

Do women like flirting?

Yes, they fucking love it. Just not with you.

Here's a copper bottomed, iron clad law of nature. You have to be one to start flirting? She's not into it, she's bored and it's something to do.

DoinIt989 · 2023-12-18T01:59:26+00:00

No, I think it's fun.

Do women like flirting?

Yes they do IME, you just have to not be weird about it.

Are there relationships that were formed because of it?

Yes, I've DM'd girls and it ended very well. Chatted shit to girls at bars/had them clumsily approach me and it's ended it fun relationships/friendships.

tastyserenity · 2023-12-18T12:27:42+00:00

No, it’s fun. Especially when it comes naturally to you. I find myself flirting with men and women sometimes, not on purpose.

PrecisionHat · 2023-12-18T15:20:11+00:00

Most of the time, flirting is just talking with an air of confidence/charisma. As a guy, I've noticed that I get quite positive responses when talking to women for the first time, but I don't use pick up lines or cheesy compliments. I just talk to them and act self-assured (but not arrogant). There really is no cookie cutter method; sometimes, I'll look for an opportunity to tease her about something in an endearing way, once we have established some comfort in the interaction. Get her laughing and that's half the battle of flirting. If things are going really well, then, you can start saying compliments and flattering her.

I honestly don't know why any of that should make anyone cringe, but I guess sometimes I have overheard people in these interactions and it seems obvious what is going on from an outside perspective; more of an eye roll thing for me, if I even care at all.

ResponsibleUmpire752 · 2023-12-19T09:55:24+00:00

I dislike it and never initiated it. Always uncomfortable when guys flirted with me too, going back to grammar school lol. But I do have both male and female friends who enjoy it so ig it's just a personal preference.

AbsolutelyNobody0 · 2023-12-17T21:03:24+00:00

You might be autistic? Not everyone is a cringelord when flirting. IDK what to tell you...

Substantial_Video560 · 2023-12-17T20:41:52+00:00

I rarely do it. More focused on other things.

JDWhiz96 · 2023-12-18T01:27:30+00:00

Flirting is poor communication. Instead of voicing attraction like an adult, people (usually women) like to use this BS form of non-direct "communication" to "indicate interest." It's BS and dishonest.

iSellNuds4RedditGold · 2023-12-18T09:55:17+00:00

Fuck yeah, completely agree. I'm always like: "Do women really eat that up?" And apparently, yes, the very much do.

So now if I want to have a gf I have to be a cringelord in my own eyes.

M12_cavesrl · 2023-12-17T22:29:19+00:00

It is cringe because it's unnatural, forced and a mental strech and if you are sensitive to fake conversations/small talk it feels like someone dragging their nail on a chalckboard.

You have to expose yourself as a beggar and hope that not many people are around there to witness you failing miserabily. Other times you have to pretend a completely different personality that may be off-putting to those who know you for a long time.

The bright side is that you could imagine yourself in an even cringier situation like walking around naked or asking her/him to smell their armpits as a first pick up line (or some f.d up shit like that) so that you overdose in cringe and, in comparison, flirting is a breath of fresh air

SecondEldenLord · 2023-12-18T00:15:17+00:00

How you think people met back in the day? With no Internet or phones, people met in person and flirted to attract each others attention. Nowadays though, in order to float face to face you must be attractive as a man, cause if you are not, prepare to be rejected in a harsh way, and no, the worst she can do is not to just say "no".

JDWhiz96 · 2023-12-18T01:27:24+00:00

Flirting is poor communication. Instead of voicing attraction like an adult, people (usually women) like to use this BS form of non-direct "communication" to "indicate interest." It's BS and dishonest.

2023-12-18T01:39:27+00:00

Flirting is tedious af

MidoriEgg · 2023-12-17T22:17:15+00:00

Unless it’s super obvious I’m never sure what’s flirting and what isn’t

DapperDan1929 · 2023-12-17T20:55:48+00:00

Yes yes yes. I have a hard time seeing the typical American male as not-desperate. Watching it unfold is sooo cringe.

BusinessGarage2606 · 2023-12-17T21:51:22+00:00

Yes, I think that flirting is embarrassing. I can’t even watch it in movies without cringing. I never felt comfortable when someone tried to flirt with me and I never flirt with anyone.

2023-12-18T01:39:17+00:00

Flirting tedious af

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itm4l2000 · 2023-12-18T15:46:23+00:00

I liken myself to a "sharpening blade" for women to see "if they still have it" when it comes to attracting men. For me, it's a deeply narcistic endeavor for a woman to flirt with a man to give her some semblance of self-worth or a crutch to stabilize her confidence because she lacks it from within.

This is how men get objectified "by giving women attention and an ego bost", without any regard for the man that gives her attention or acknowledges her attraction.

I will never apologies as a man and demand that such an interaction be transactional in what I seek out with a flirting experience. I don't flirt for the sake of flirting, I've got more important things to do.

It's like when men objectify women when it comes to physical lust, most men don't even know or want to know the person they are objectifying. It's the same way women objectify attention from select men.

I agree. I feel flirting with modern western women is like doing community service for attractive, narcistic women and it's tiresome. It's never the mid-women or unattractive women that want to "sharpen the blade".

The_Texidian · 2023-12-18T16:20:42+00:00

I think the issue is growing up we are taught that flirting is pick up lines and saying a girl looks cute. This is just puts women off I’ve found.

Real flirting is teasing her and subtly hinting at suggestive things or making it seem like she’s the one being suggestive (part of teasing). However, flirting only works when she’s into you. If she is not into you, then it’s just creepy. But you also can’t over do it because that’s creepy too, and you can’t under do it because then she’s not interested. It also only works when you are not socially awkward, if you’re awkward then it’ll be creepy too.

For example; she could say something innocent but could be taken as dirty. Then you could jokingly say something like “I’m sorry, that’s a third date type of activity, I’m not that type of guy” or “you girls just want one thing”. Then she’ll say “omg that’s not what I meant! I’d never!” And it’s fun.

It’s pretty complex, and I’m no master.

Playful-Design-1999 · 2023-12-18T00:19:05+00:00

Some of us don't.

SoulBadguy0408 · 2023-12-18T05:14:56+00:00

Yeah... some flirting seems a bit much

PMmeareasontolive · 2023-12-18T16:45:29+00:00

It has to really flow. You have to be in the right state of mind. Maybe naturally confident people are in that state of mind nearly all the time. For me it usually takes either a little alcohol or tons of caffeine.

But yeah, flirting via text is often kind of awful.

hot_garbage_fire · 2023-12-18T20:19:44+00:00

I have felt that way in my life before, but usually when I was super depressed or just going through some sort of rough time.

Personally I think you just need to lighten up and stop taking everything so seriously. Romance in general is pretty silly endeavor, if you're not willing to allow yourself to be vulnerable enough to flirt a little with someone how are you ever going to be vulnerable enough to be in an honest relationship with someone.

You don't have to over complicate it either, just make really bad jokes in front of her while smiling and knowing they're bad, if she laughs she likes you. That's really all there is to it. You can be Ryan Gosling in both Drive and Crazy Stupid Love.

apresonly · 2023-12-18T21:46:40+00:00

this is what happens when we uphold a version of masculinity that makes it embarrassing to be vulnerable. you can never be a beginner and try something, you have to immediately be a stoic expert who doesn't care.

flirting is the spice of life, no i don't find it embarassing lol.

Yupperdoodledoo · 2023-12-19T00:24:46+00:00

That is so sad. Flirting is one of the great joys of life. Why is it cringe to you?

Wonderful-Team-1315 · 2023-12-19T06:27:29+00:00

Lol i do...at least i think intentional flirting is.

I would be really embarrassed if something flirtatious came out of my mouth .

But I'm ok telling someone i that like them. I like directness, anything indirect, falls under games for me and i dislike games.

Spyro7x3 · 2023-12-19T08:34:18+00:00

There's lots of ways to flirt I don't think I've ever done it consciously but I enjoy when women flirt for sure. So I guess the answer is no.

SpecificHamFlavour · 2023-12-19T10:21:48+00:00

its one of those high risk mediocre reward things, which is why I dont participate.

If I flirt, I have 0.5 chance to charm you slightly, and a 0.5 chance to ruin everything and never see you again.

If I dont, I have a 0.9 chance at a second date.

Wow, what shall I pick, its so difficult.

mods_have_small_ween · 2023-12-19T21:20:09+00:00

You have toxic shame around intimacy.

OtPayOkerSmay · 2023-12-20T21:08:08+00:00

If you're witty and can flirt in an original way that suits your personality, it is fun and women enjoy it.

If you rely on canned lines, you're going to have a bad time; because you come off as an unoriginal fraud.

Title	Does anyone else think flirting is so embarrassing?
Author	Phantom-H
Upvotes	22
Comments	153
Date	December 17, 2023 7:32 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/18kp4l0/does_anyone_else_think_flirting_is_so_embarrassing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/does-anyone-else-think-flirting-is-so-embarrassing.1241006 https://theredarchive.com/post/1241006

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