Dating culture is entirely one-sided and doesn’t benefit men

NameIs-Already-Taken · 2024-03-18T02:49:59+00:00

Women are quick to point out that in nature the male courts the female and therefore the same should apply to us. They’re less quick to point out that in nature the female more often than not raises the kids while the male provides. Traditional gender roles only when they want them to apply.

121bphg1yup · 2024-03-18T02:40:44+00:00

You don't comply, stop dating and forget about women. Life is short as it is, no need to add additional problems into your life.

disayle32 · 2024-03-18T03:01:37+00:00

This is the reason why I stopped using datings apps.

plaudite_cives · 2024-03-18T07:15:27+00:00

It's simple. Average man wants to have sex with an average woman more than the other way around. Supply and demand.

ExiledCanuck · 2024-03-18T04:56:40+00:00

Of course it's unfair. Imagine what it's like for the men who are introverted, who have low paying jobs, are overweight, are short, etc. It's not easy for them to approach women, and the odds are stacked against them.

I consider myself a pretty decent looking guy, and not once in my 36 years of existence have I been approached by a woman or asked out. Not once.

If I didn't learn to approach women and initiate conversation, I would be forever alone and a Virgin still....and that's FACT. This may be controversial, but I truly believe that only men can experience true loneliness. Like true serious deep ass loneliness. Like can't even get a woman to look at them let alone talk to them or date them. A women will never know what that's like because a woman could get a relationship, a boyfriend, or get laid anytime if they truly wanted/made the effort. There will always be a guy out there for them. She could possess all the traits I listed earlier (introverted, overweight, short, low paying job etc.) but they could still have companionship and even the chance of dating a successful man if they desire it. Imagine if the roles were reversed. But of course, women's standards will always be too high, they'll be too picky, and average men will always continue to be invisible to most women.

Angryasfk · 2024-03-18T03:21:26+00:00

Oh it benefits some men!

BuddhaB · 2024-03-18T02:52:55+00:00

If it goes well, you get a root. That's a bonus.

If you don't want to play their game, don't play it. They owe us nothing, and most of the time we are better off without them.

Tiny_Professional358 · 2024-03-18T03:43:50+00:00

As by Feminist design gender roles only apply when it benefits the women solely.

Acceptable-Tip3386 · 2024-03-18T02:53:12+00:00

start with all those intial ceremonies,

have a delicious meal without holding back,

when the bill comes, ask her to pay,

if she refuses, call her weak & dependent and leave,

she can go online and beg some simp to pay for her or swipe one of her woman cards,

and go back home safely, requesting a gaurd from the women empowerment services.

LaserNebula986 · 2024-03-18T02:22:16+00:00

Yeah realised a long time ago I’ll be undatable. Im currently focusing on my Biology degree then trying to find side hustles and get 2 surrogate boys and live off grid. If I can’t have kids the natural way then society has no right to demand anything else from me. No pusśy, no work, no taxes from me.

Plenty_Lettuce5418 · 2024-03-18T04:43:47+00:00

It's bonkers trying to make conversation with them also. Literally just trying to find out what they are actually interested in or finding commonalities with them is gruelling..they're so fuckin boring.

prateekster · 2024-03-18T04:44:27+00:00

Be very careful which girl you pick to go on a date with. Most of them are going to try and use you for free food. And then will keep you on the side, to extract help and resources.

2024-03-18T05:02:12+00:00

just stop giving attention they will go crazy within a month

LowAd3406 · 2024-03-18T03:24:20+00:00

Yes, you should do 100% of work and hope you get a second date. Most of the time she will say sorry I did not feel a connection hope you the best. And she will fuck some other guy who treats her like shit.

Rabbit-Punch · 2024-03-18T07:23:39+00:00

Yep youre right. You get to sit there and interview them pay for the meal and hope they pick you out of their roster of 20 dudes. Then when you do get to dating her if anything doesnt go her way she monkey branches to one of her "guy friends". Dating is a humiliation ritual for men. The best way to beat the game is to simply not play. Paying for companionship is a far better option.

Programmer_Scared · 2024-03-18T02:53:56+00:00

I think you either get to the point where you either enjoy the process or you decide the ROI is not worth it and leave. Personally, I love dating and the feeling it gave me. (But that was given I am dating in South East Asia and somewhat selective about my dates). But I agree. Dating is a zero-sum game. If you think the reward is not worth it, and you can walk away from it. Rationally, I think you should.

PUMA-420 · 2024-03-18T09:54:48+00:00

You are expected to make more money than her and at the same time, expected to share 50% of the household chores.

LettuceBeGrateful · 2024-03-18T15:43:39+00:00

A great filter is woman who are willing to split the bill on the first date. My last LTR was with a woman who was happy to split the bill for the first month of dating (and after that we were a couple so we just used common sense).

Women who act entitled to a man's money are as much of a red flag as men who act entitled to a woman's body. There are egalitarian women out there, you just gotta be willing to sift through the riffraff to find them. Once you do, it'll feel less like jumping through hoops and more like an actual loving relationship.

Also, dating apps are shit and make everything crazy superficial. I have a high net worth, but someone who judges me a good partner based on that isn't interested in an actual human connection. It's really hard to start off dating on the right foot in an app when people are going off a thumbnail and some stats that may as well belong in a D&D character sheet.

3DFutureman7 · 2024-03-18T21:12:33+00:00

Oh yes I noticed!

Its called a "Gynocentric" culture. A culture centred around females at all costs.

Its one of the reasons I travelled overseas to find a date and eventually a wife.

I left in 2014 because it was getting bad, its next level ridiculous now. Don't tolerate it, save your money on "dates" for a airline ticket. Philippines is a very nice destination. Its a complete opposite of the dating culture in the West. Men are respected.

ThrowFar_Far_Away · 2024-03-18T05:27:44+00:00

I've said this before but this is imo one of the best things feminism has brought to my country Sweden in the 21 century lol. We don't pay for dates, we are not expected to randomly buy stuff for them, we are not expected to plan everything, women are the ones that has to approach a lot of the times etc. My ex asked me out first and I did not pay for a single date throughout our 4 year relationship, always split. The men here went "wait it's kinda nice to not have to be responsible for everything" and many feminist writers are seething over it lol.

AmuseDeath · 2024-03-18T06:20:12+00:00

Look at the data:

https://old.reddit.com/r/TinderData/

You have response rates of less than 1% from women.

When it comes to dating, you have to understand that at the end of the day, it comes down to how she feels about you and no amount of money, services or flowers can change this. If she simply doesn't find you appealing to her, it's set in stone. Trying to buy her affection never works. So it's best to sense if she's interested and if she is not, then be prepared to walk away.

In the meantime, it's best to work on yourself for yourself. Stay physically fit. Maintain your finances. Go to events. Meet lots of people. Stay in touch with friends. Do this for your own benefit, not because you want to meet a woman.

Modern dating is trash because of how people allow it to be the case. A lot of it honestly comes from men who are desperate and weak. These are the same guys that pay for Only Fans or stay in relationships where they pay for everything and only get crumbs. They then make the bar lower and lower for expectations and enable narcissistic and manipulative women to thrive. Dating would be a whole lot better if men as a whole pushed for better standards, but there's always a bunch that are willing to be used for a crumb of affection.

Just focus on your life and your happiness. Do not make someone else the source of your happiness and worth.

El_Psy_Congroo4477 · 2024-03-18T08:25:19+00:00

The game is rigged against us. The only way to win is not to play.

2024-03-18T08:25:28+00:00

Not entirely correct!

It benefits Chad! He just has to text “wanna come over” and they come running. The biggest winners are the top 5% of men. The bottom 80% have to slave, hence why so many have given up! The prize = a modern woman (entitled, useless & ran through, basically a feminist)

IceCorrect · 2024-03-18T03:12:01+00:00

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imperator285 · 2024-03-18T02:19:46+00:00

It's the same way in nature. Males typically do all the work, with some notable exceptions such as lions.

Humans, however, do not live in nature.

mr_ogyny · 2024-03-18T09:44:43+00:00

This is still the case even after the early stages of dating and has been occurring for decades. Your needs are either secondary or irrelevant which is why ‘happy wife, happy life’ is a thing.

Also the idea that men who don’t want to give in to their terms are ‘broke’, doesn’t make sense. They would rather believe you’re too broke to date them than acknowledge rejection.

wafflepiezz · 2024-03-18T21:33:30+00:00

Yeah western women are a joke right now due to toxic feminism and what it did to their mentals.

I change my location to somewhere in Asia and I instantly get tons of likes of matches. It’s crazy.

I think Gen Z women’s mentality is the worst of all currently, coming from another Gen Z. Because of all the brainwashed toxic feminist propaganda they’ve been fed.

SoldierExcelsior · 2024-03-18T10:25:04+00:00

salt run deserve act foolish reminiscent literate ring reply crown

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

JohnnyQuest94 · 2024-03-18T02:28:46+00:00

it is what it is. It's been that way, but I will say really attractive people probably have to do less grafting, being mid or average makes you do two times the lifting for sure.

420tacoo · 2024-03-18T02:59:14+00:00

Idk the OP’s age but I have had a different experience dating in my 30s. Granted I’m not dating atm for several reasons but still.

Women put more of an effort into meeting. Hell I’ve had several plan AND pay on the first date. I’m not a 10. I’m not stupid rich. I’m like an Alabama 8 or a NY 6. I make a decent salary and am relatively fiscally responsible. So it’s not those items.

It’s not to say I’m getting chased. It’s a 2 way street and courting is part of it. If you are dating women and are putting in more than 50% of the effort find a different gal.

Ruben0415 · 2024-03-18T13:19:19+00:00

Exactly. I cant help but think how pathetic other men are when they simp.

The juice isnt worth the squeeze so why bother trying in the first place?

Giraph2k · 2024-03-18T16:36:26+00:00

If this can reassure you, most women aren’t like this. I’ve been casual dating for a few months now and none of them expected me to pay, and I wouldn’t want to pay for someone that’s a stranger to me. Plus if the man pays, it kinda puts pressure on the woman thinking that he wants something in return. Also most women don’t mind providing their own mean of transportation so they don’t feel stuck and can leave at anytime if they want.

Hope this helps :)

chortle-guffaw · 2024-03-18T19:49:57+00:00

There's nothing in your post that is anything new. It's been this way for as long as I can remember. What's new are the women who want an expensive first date and have no interest in a relationship. Instead, plan a coffee date or an inexpensive activity. That will help weed out the gold-diggers.

HelpfulViolinist3562 · 2024-03-18T02:37:35+00:00

Yeah, makes me really happy I'm married. Buddha forbid I end up back on the dating market, with my luck I'll either have to go to another country or probably not get emotionally attached anymore because frankly I'm just too damn tired to put up with the bullshit and mind games. The amount of egotism from modern women is just disgusting.

LowAd3406 · 2024-03-18T17:28:39+00:00

Whoa, you guys actually pay for everything on a date?

Maybe it's because I'm from a liberal area, but I've only paid for dates a couple of times. Each time it was a major red flag and I didn't call them back. And it sounds more like y'all just date shitty women in general because I can't relate to anything in this post.

knight_call1986 · 2024-03-18T14:13:52+00:00

I think modern dating culture will change when enough men truly buck the system and stop playing the game. There are enough men out there who know that the game is set up for them to lose, but play anyway (I was one of them).

Also we don't look at a certain subset of guys that tend to uphold the lopsided dynamic of modern dating. The ones who subscribe to OF, the ones who are paying for attention from women. I think in a sense they have contributed more to the dynamic that people are willing to admit.

I also think that the way dating sites work is to keep the compatible ones separated from each other, because there would be no need for them to use the app.

Essentially, modern dating is a constantly moving goal post. There really is no way for everyday guys to truly "win" at modern dating. Unfortunately we have too many avenues taking advantage of the chaos for anything to truly get right. We have OF, porn, IG appealing to what guys like visually, and then on the other end you have these influencers or whatever you call them telling men and women that you a guy is no good unless he has certain superficial qualities about him. Nothing about him being a contributing member of society or anything.

Our society has regressed in some ways, and it seems like it has manipulated people into going for what is bad for them. Ultimately we are being told that we are better separated than together, and people are eating it up.

I really hope more guys start taking the War Games approach and simply not playing. Removing themselves from the game all together. I think that will be the best way to achieve a semblance of peace and balance.

Edit: Sorry for the rant.

whathappened2cod · 2024-03-18T16:50:12+00:00

We live in such a soft ass generation these days where even approaching women or telling a woman they're beautiful is considered "sexual harassment".

LowAd3406 · 2024-03-18T07:02:40+00:00

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SaltManagement42 · 2024-03-18T03:20:33+00:00

It really depends on what kind of relationship you want. I understand people who use grindr tends to find it beneficial.

GoCards5566 · 2024-03-18T08:41:44+00:00

Hey man. Keep looking you’ll find a good woman. Took me until I was 32 but you’ll find a good one. Good luck

Mcnst · 2024-03-18T03:08:31+00:00

This is probably the reason why so many relationships brake down, because being so difficult and time consuming, many people simply settle at the first option. And only later down the line, realise that they've made a mistake.

Temporary_Board_1797 · 2024-03-18T04:58:43+00:00

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randonumero · 2024-03-18T12:36:27+00:00

I don't agree with this. While the average man has to put in more effort than the below average woman, he does gain benefits. The largest benefit is sex. If you have an active dating life and are calibrated to the right partners then you will be able to have sex. Probably not as often as you want but it will happen. Another potential benefit is companionship, which may or may not be bad.

To touch on the one sided nature, it all depends on who you are as a man and what kind of women you go for. Unfortunately many women in their prime only consider something like 5% of the male population to be their ideal mate. That leaves the overwhelming majority of men jumping through hoops to attract the attention of the majority of women in their prime. Call me an ahole if you want but I've seen videos of extremely overweight and subjectively unattractive women demanding that only men making 200k+ approach them which IMO is unrealistic for them. On the other side, beautiful women are inundated with simps online giving them complements, money and attention to sustain them until they meet that 5% man or fall off lookswise. There's less reason for average hot chick to date the average guy and look for marriage when she's not hurting for money or attention in her prime. She can hope to bag a rich guy before she's 27.

What I have found is that if you as a man date correctly, you will be seen as the prize. I'm a reasonably articulate black guy with a good job, house, car, kind...and in my 30s there was a certain type of woman I was catnip to. Was it made up of the kind of women who'd be my first choice? Not predominantly but when I dated those kinds of women I was generally treated like the prize. So I truly think that as a man it comes down to not wasting time on certain women and choosing those who view you as the prize.

2024-03-18T17:20:07+00:00

Unless it’s with other men

BuckShadaCaster · 2024-03-18T17:49:49+00:00

You’re doing it wrong…why would you pay for everything when she probably has a roster, especially if you meet online? Who is picking up dates in 2024? And finally if you want a 2nd date just ask her at the end of the date.

DuyTran0634 · 2024-03-18T18:38:21+00:00

Hi there. I understand what you are writing, but as a man, I can assure you that I am happy to do it to a girl I like. The dating initiative must be from a man because that is our role in nature, leading a woman to a re-production.

However, I don't like the modern feminist mindset that spread among Western women to shut down/accuse/take advantage of men of doing so. At the moment, most Western men are afraid of being accused of trying to approach a girl they like or being framed as fkbois by feminists when they are trying to have a relationship with girls. In addition, I also see the double standards from feminists nowadays in terms of dating in which women "have" rights to have 1000s standards (6ft, making 1mil/year, handsome, know how to make love, etc..), while they shame men insecure for having only three standards: as low-body counts, loyalty, and respectful attitude.

I did not mention the marriage/divorce disadvantage in this comment because you already know.

Intimate100 · 2024-03-19T02:02:55+00:00

Don’t play that rigged game. Many men don’t. Good women don’t expect it anymore.

Honest740 · 2024-03-20T18:42:21+00:00

All obviously true and yet (almost?) no one in the mainstream media ever mentions it. Why?

Joey3155 · 2024-03-18T16:55:37+00:00

I agree with you wholeheartedly OP it's why I pretend most women don't exist.

Few-Procedure-268 · 2024-03-18T04:24:20+00:00

Why do people here say "feminists" when they mean women?

The complaints here are about traditional gender roles and norms.

jooes · 2024-03-18T08:52:26+00:00

Half of what you describe is just dating, period:

it’s on you to entertain her and show her that you’re interesting to be with.

Yeah no shit you're supposed to be interesting to be with. What did you think was supposed to happen? That's literally the whole point of dating. You can't just exist, you need to have some sort of personality, you need to be funny and charming and interesting. That's just life... And before you say, "But women don't need a personality," stop dating boring women! Why would you want to date somebody you didn't enjoy spending time with?

and then SHE will decide if she wants to go out with you again.

As opposed to...? I mean, it would be pretty weird if you made that decision for her. You don't get to decide if you're the right fit for her. She does. And you get to make that same decision about her too. If you don't want to go out on a date with her, there's not a goddamn thing she can do to make you.

The other half of what you describe doesn't really happen either: Planning a date isn't really that hard. Wanna grab coffee? Cool. Starbucks? Done. Easy as that.

How many women honestly want to be chauffeured to their date? Nobody wants to rely on their date for transport, just on the off chance you're a bad date and they need to bail. Don't even offer to pick her up, she'll figure it out. She's a big girl.

You're not "responsible for her safety," either. At least, only in the sense that you shouldn't hurt her, I guess. Which should be easy enough, I'm sure we can all manage that.

The part about footing the bill is a bit outdated, plenty of women are cool with going halfsies on the bill. If you find somebody who isn't willing to meet you halfway, don't pay her tab, don't date her, move on with your life.

Yeah dating sucks, and yes it costs time, money, energy, and it's exhausting and demoralizing.... but this is just dumb.

wildzwiebel · 2024-03-18T06:23:07+00:00

I feel like you have to be carful. I don't really plan dates any more. well it's much much less often. but i talk to women. you never stop wanting what you want. but you don't tell them about it. I think it's good to be realistic and realize that the dating world is full of lies and does work against men. just being aware of that puts you ahead of most guys. most guys who are giving women all this energy and then being let down. and you can't blame yourself. i used to work very hard to entertain women. but i have to forgive that older version of myself. i was never meant to find a woman in my 20's. circumstance is stacked against you. now i'm just recovering from the burnout of chasing women in my 20's. but new opportunities open up and you just get more clever, more laid back in your process. there are women, but it's like i don't "work" for them any more.

Nihi1986 · 2024-03-18T13:56:47+00:00

Everyone have noticed that, and yet it can't be changed. Women hold ALL the power regarding dating, it's the way they want it to be, because they are valuable (sexually) by default. Only the most attractive and rich men have power...the average guy won't be deciding the rules.

Can you chose to not play the game then? Not really, cause you have a sex drive and you also don't want to be alone.

If you want it to benefit you, you have to set your own rules and assume the lower chances doing it that way, I mean, it absolutely isn't going to change and become what the average men would want it to be.

pungar · 2024-03-18T14:24:17+00:00

All the things you listed are optional.

You better focus on finding a woman who values companionship rather than expecting someone to fulfil all those gender-based expectations. If you can’t, that’s probably still better than trying to bend yourself to fit into someone else’s box.

Lilly_Rose_Kay · 2024-03-18T07:37:42+00:00

I think the problem is too many of you guys are trying to date liberal women.

ComprehensiveLet6422 · 2024-03-18T08:26:57+00:00

This is why i stopped dating and stopped being interested in real girls. I discovered lucid dreaming long time ago and it's better this way. Having you own girlfriend with the personality you want and in a fascinating world is just so cool.

I am not interested in real girl anymore, wich is not a bad thing in my opinion.

SokkaHaikuBot · 2024-03-18T07:58:45+00:00

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Maverick-_1 · 2024-03-18T12:11:58+00:00

Worthy of them: Despite ultra strong first infatuation I later intuitively had her try proving being different enough, naively increasingly desperately hoping for NAWALT. (Extremely stressful, no fun at all).

Analytically and personally totally turning the table, despite extremely dangerous unconditional love (why have I never been warned off it, like ever?). They even do propose for marriage, if softly turned down (no break-up), then for LTR.

Finally getting rejecting, suspicion finally, after literally several years, some suddenly not light triad plan.😳 Logically breaking-up makes no sense, other (ofc!) she wasn't reciprocately into me, predominantly because she cannot, because co-evolved, since paleolithicum.

It's even worse, becoming some emotionally gullible prey, literally. The richer, the more health risks, the worse, even empirically risks of sulclde, losing up to everything and for what?

Maverick-_1 · 2024-03-18T12:16:06+00:00

Obvious inequality: that occassional tueing the table most probably only works with maybe 8+/10 Looks and or being quite/ very rich, but who'd consciously be into buying her and what'd that mean?

But as If quite many or more go for it anyway? Them messing up the dating Market and women!

Mr-Cantaloupe · 2024-03-18T12:44:18+00:00

Kemono no Souja Erin (Beast Player Erin) I almost never see this one mentioned but I always recommend it for an anime with well written characters and great world building. The plot is superb too and one of my all around favorites.

blitgerblather · 2024-03-18T15:56:32+00:00

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Milk--and--honey · 2024-03-18T18:02:59+00:00

The average man wants sex/relationships more than the average woman. So women have more options

Kravego · 2024-03-18T18:15:27+00:00

It's stacked against you slightly at first, true. But the benefit of being in the group that is expected to approach the other is that you will on average 'date/marry up'.

If a couple has a gap in the 'league' / attractiveness / whatever, it's more often in the man's favor.

J2501 · 2024-03-18T19:42:44+00:00

Seems to me like people looking for dates are likely to be exploited, or their formal intentions mocked, and the best relationships come out of stumbling into spending time with women one-on-one, and only post hoc admitting interest.

There's a lot of stigma and speculation attached to any time you spend with women, especially away from communal scrutiny or awareness. Imagine the 'dangerous situation' lectures she's gotten, and is ignoring, for you.

There may be totally innocent or professional intentions behind that, but you have to learn to read signals and make advances, at appropriate junctures. Sometimes women are putting themselves on a platter for you, and they expect you to see them that way. If you have a lukewarm reaction, they'll think you're not into them, and probably blame something really stupid, like a blemish, or something whimsical they said.

Women are self-conscious, and don't often commit their desires to words. It goes without saying you should learn to read a vibe that they don't like you and you aren't welcome. Because there'll be consequences if you take that too far. But you also need to learn to read the vibe when they are into you.

And keep in mind the formal approach might be too much, or leave you exposed.

AndreasmzK · 2024-03-18T21:30:14+00:00

I have no problem pulling out all the stops for a high-value woman. The problem is, society has forgotten what it means to be high-value.

2024-03-19T00:48:44+00:00

“Feminism” killed a good portion of the experience. The goal used to be that people were of/or seemed to be of a certain quality, so you were “interested” in genuinely getting to know a woman. You used to both have a life, so the object of a date was to get time exclusive to get to see them in different elements. Talking on the phone was for the interview segment of introductions. Sex was always a thing, however there was a certain value that people created that the other saw. You deem your worth, others deem value. It’s a clusterfuck and then so diluted-in part to social media and inclusion. We need to go back to investing in equity and eradicate equality. Those of us who don’t try to be equal to the opposite sex have it better.

BulletStephenBunting · 2024-03-19T06:59:20+00:00

That's a massive exaggeration. In Austria, there is something called public transportation, so you are not expected to drop anything anywhere. The bill is usually split evenly. And then the entertaining part: if you feel that you have to come up with everything to keep the date interesting for you and feel that you have to struggle to keep her entertained then it's time to end things. I had many dates and I felt like this sometimes. Those were the dates I would describe as boring ones because of apparent incompatibility. At a harmonious date, the entertainment part should always come from both participants and it does naturally.

UWontHearMeAnyway · 2024-03-19T07:23:15+00:00

culture is based around women and has no real benefit to men

Absolutely true.

So we’re forced to comply with these standards because feminists have convinced any less makes a man “dusty”.

It's all a manipulation tactic, designed to keep men doing the same.

The harsh fact is: nature made women have children, because otherwise they are not needed. We can make them useful, but we take the brunt of the dangerous and muscle survival tasks. We simply give them the stuff to make our life easier, that they can do.

When we were doing those things (referring to opening doors, paying for dates, courting in general, etc), it was to show that we can follow the rules of that society, the one that created the amazing and safe times we had. It was to show that we value them for their side if the contributions. And it was just understood that we men did our part, and taught how to respect and value that.

Then feminism happened. They broke up family homes. Indoctrinated generations of children, by teaching them young. So that they grew up, and taught their children. All the while, disregarding and ignoring what men contribute.

In short, yes. Everything is geared towards women.

But the harsh reality is: they only have the power that we, men, give them. Think of it like the water bubble at the top of the glass. At first, the glass is empty, so it fills with no issues. So, the drops that go into it are barely noticeable. Then, families are broken up. Still, it's not overflowing. Remember, once it releases, violence is the only recourse. We men understand this. So, we put it off, not wanting to resort to violence, to correct things. We try to convince, we try to let them learn the correct ways. But still the drops keep adding into the water. Finally, the water reaches above the top of the rim, but does not overflow. Still, drops keep getting added. We are close to things going too far. We still hold out hope that things will correct in the needed ways. Yet, drops keep getting added. At some point it will overflow, and then it will be too late for a peaceful resolve.

That is today's society. It's pushing men so far, at some point we will stand up and correct the system. The blind don't see this as a violent correction. Yet, our instincts know it to be true. Who will protect the women, when they claim we are standing up against them? Who currently stands up to defend them, when they claim that men are abusing them? If it's one or a dozen, easily handled by those people. But when the tipping point happens, it will be the majority. So they will resort to using weapons to stop the crowd.

That's the dark truth of things.

Rabbit-Punch · 2024-03-19T23:02:24+00:00

Dating has always been about benefiting the top men so either be that or quit bitching and take your scraps

Also if you’re trying to prove yourself, spending money, etc you are only hurting your chances

Blauwpetje · 2024-03-22T15:53:53+00:00

This sounds very American. As a Dutchman you’re also supposed to take much of the initiative, but in most circles you don’t have to play the gentleman or pay for her food. ‘Going Dutch’, meaning each paying your own meal, is even a pejorative that shouldn’t be one. Going to a restaurant isn’t even necessary, a date can take many forms. But yes, a man is considered to do all of the approaching, and will be considered a creep or even a harasser if she doesn’t like his style.

BCL104 · 2025-10-20T02:25:07+00:00

forgive this economics rant,but its relevant : finished highschool 1980 and costs of Trudeau .1 were 19% mortgage rates so my folks lost everything and the few paying jobs which hadn't offshored were affirmative action government. Most girls from my school with either ended up single welfare moms or ran off from town to big cities to ride the carousel nights after office work. Right away i realized an unstable job meant losing marriage and home, so I rarely approached for dating (instantly regretting the waste in effort anyway) till establishing a career ,which consumed 2 decades chasing factory jobs and college courses until finally succeeding. NOW I'm repelled by the 30somethings now desperate to "settle" as I realize they cannot be trusted to not divorce rape me for all I've earned on my own in sweat & blood-pension/estate/investments and now too fkg old to raise kids anyway.

BCL104 · 2025-10-20T02:46:18+00:00

the cultural warfare which intensified since the 90's is tearing our society apart -speaking for myself ,I'm feeling more hate from other demographics than back in the 80's when things were becoming cool with the alphabet people and the working black community ,while women were approachable. Now the cities are unaffordable, unliveably filthy and traffic congested by ugly ass 3rd world dudes. the country is beyond repair, and urban white females voted for this ,so working native born men are taxed to death PAYING for this femiMarxist dictatorship destroying his civic birthrights.

BCL104 · 2025-10-20T03:11:21+00:00

my advice to young dudes: never approach women,as the hotter they look the more harm they can/will bring you. Super attractiveness means they are entitled ,never had to earn anything and you are an expendable "just friends" they'll tolerate as they sleep with other guys. Work on yourself ,your physique, educate yourself on the real world -including finance in order to recognize and exploit opportunities rather than make poor life choices . Become successful in life doing activities making you happy which is the best way to attract a decent woman into approaching YOU. this doesn't mean waiting around for a someone, rather its you moving & building your life ,that motion and effort being what smart women notice and admire.

BCL104 · 2025-10-20T03:40:08+00:00

thats because the culture has turned into total shit, 3 generations after boomers fell for Leftard garbage. Now YOU have to PAY for all their "free" stuff they enjoyed and how they sent away those REAL jobs which earned REAL money where an average guy without higher education used to walk into a factory job making enough $ to pay off a small home supporting his family. all you need to do is look at photos of thousands of small rusty towns where industry is dead and remaining people are dying from despair to understand WHY they all voted for the only guy successful enough but obnoxiously rude to fight against The coastal Establishment who sold out middle America.

YEAH,so he's an "asshole"! You think a "nice guy" is going to TAKE BACK what was given away by D.C. officials? You were born into this war you didn't start but now must fight if you want a country worth living in.

Sam__Toucan · 2024-03-18T09:30:38+00:00

You're not "forced" to comply with these standards! I don't and have never had a problem finding dates or girlfriends. The problem is that men THINK that if they do all these things then they will get a girlfriend at the end of it but it doesn't work that way.

You're better off ignoring dating culture and making yourself desirable to women. Then they will forget all their rules and come chasing after you.

LowAd3406 · 2024-03-18T11:41:08+00:00

[permanently deleted]

CucumberEfficient403 · 2024-03-18T15:01:20+00:00

When was your last date? 1954? Or are you part of a fundamentalist religion where these mores are still part of the social fabric? I don't know about other women but I usually at least offer to go Dutch. I often meet up with my date and if we continue to date is as much up to a man as a women. Have you never had a bad date and decided not to call? Seems to me that you need to expand your social circles.

2024-03-18T09:11:07+00:00

This is why I stopped even caring about the whole dating shit when I was 17

Extreme_Spread9636 · 2024-03-18T11:15:55+00:00

Dating culture is one-sided, because of one important notion within feminism. The believe that women are the ones who can determine under what terms and conditions a relationship should operate. As far as I know, I have never heard people accept any terms and conditions from men.

When you go to a store, you expect that the store expects you to pay with money. You can't just walk into an apple-store and pay with actual apples, because you say that apples are equally valuable as an iPhone. That's simply not how value works and how everything operates. You can't just determine what the other gender should want in you. You deliver exactly what they want.

Men certainly have a say in what the rules are. If you want a good-looking woman, you need to deliver exactly what she wants. The tricky part (as well as the flaw) within feminism theory is the believe that all women are beautiful/valuable. There are going to be women who are relatively less attractive to each other. What do you give those women? Under what terms does her relationship operate? Do you do and give less? Feminism believes that you should do your best regardless of what a woman looks like. Ideally, I would agree with that notion, but on the other hand, isn't it unfair to make a man work really hard for someone he actually doesn't want?

The worst part of everything is what happened a couple years ago, when the bubble burst. There are simply men who don't want long-term relationships. The idea that men need to improve has been pushed so far that we also have men now who worked really hard, but end up in a dating pool with women they don't find attractive. You worked so hard to get somewhere to eventually only be able to share the fruits of your labor with people you don't want. The real standards that men have now is unsurprisingly incredibly high. We're hit the roof of self-improvement. The entire situation is incredibly nasty for women. If they want to date, they will have to carry the entire relationship with an inhumane amount of work, because of the increase in standards. Women would understandably never accept that sort of deal. With all this in mind, obviously we're going to be stuck in a loop of an entire society unwilling to date on another. Being a loser in the past at least gave you a participation prize. Being a loser now means you will be empty handed after all the work you have done.

Spektr44 · 2024-03-18T11:28:35+00:00

What I've read is, when women try to ask out a man, the man is often flustered and doesn't know how to respond. We're all used to playing our usual roles.

MatthewJohnWebb · 2024-03-18T11:32:21+00:00

Men generally earn more money than women but not always but when so, should not begrudge reasonable expenses in feeding a young girl. I once took a girl out to a park with a couple of brown bags full of inexpensive bread crumbs so we could feed the brush tailed possums who live in the trees in the Flagstaff Gardens of Melbourne. At least 20 brush tailed possums approached us and these adorable furry animals are so tame that they will cons up course to humans to grab a slice occasionally bread.

What is wrong with a male protecting a girl from criminals ? I have done this too and even when u did not know the woman.

Dating culture is not entirely one sided but there will be few dates which can have every aspect quantified abd even if this was possible, there would rarely be a datd which is 50:50 fit the guy and the girl:))

Maverick-_1 · 2024-03-18T11:56:50+00:00

They term it "female principle", i.e. being passive.

Their fear of rejection!

As if they have a hard time near and post "wall", when at least normally demand should only permanently decrease, but they're said to be unable to figure and their self-Image is said to remain near their peak looks.

Also hypergamy, them said to be unable, at least unwilling to adapt to their ever declining SMV and them unable to expect for that(?)

Fickle-Rutabaga-1695 · 2024-03-18T13:46:04+00:00

This isn’t “modern dating”. I’m 51. I have had to go through all of that for the last 30 years. In the mid 90s in my mid 20s I started realizing this all, and little by little as years past declined doing these things as I got older; being less tolerant. And smartened up about all the money that I wasted year after year after year. If you’re 32 and younger, you’re young enough to be my son, so please remember this. It has been this way for decades and it sucks. Don’t waste any emotional energy on trying to explain any of that to anyone or have any debates or arguments.

xxTheMagicBulleT · 2024-03-18T13:58:49+00:00

Thats old school courtship. When women were ladies and men were meant to be gentle man.

But no ladies anymore means no gentleman behavior.

Men just keep falling for the bullshit trap. Of zero value and all the risk games.

Modern relationship yes women would want to be courted that way. But if you look the men they realy go for often dont have to jump true all those hoops. So dont be too thirsty for a bit of attention of a women. Women are realy not that special.

And all benfits women wants get tossed out when they refuse to hold to there gender roles. And ladies rules.

Traditional values Traditional outcomes. Modern values Modern outcomes.

You get out of things what you put in. Just dont invest in low quality. High-maintenance women. That are miss independent.

You just drinked to much of the cooled media and the news like to say how to get a women. There bullshit.

Simping for a women never works. Dont make it clear your time is worth less then hers. You will have women treat you like dirt all of your life.

In easy way to explain it. If i give you a 1000 bucks in your hand. Bet you have in your mind how your gonna spend it right. But would you valie that same 1000 bucks just as much if you had to work hard for it? Would you be more mindfull how you spend it would you be more afraid to lose it?

That same with simping. When you role over and give what ever a woman wants cause people say you should. Its the same as handing that 1000 bucks. And women dont value it.

So make women work and invest to gain that value. Dont give girlfriend perks to. Strangers. Your saying im easy to make use of.

And people gotta learn that shit. Dont listen to what women say and scream but look closely to what they do. Who they pick who they dont pick. What they value what they dont value. Who they cheat on. Who they dont cheat on.

You already lose cause you listen what women say. Not look what they do.

Thats why people dont understand women at all. Women say a lot of stuff that mean nothing.

Just like men do a lot of weird silly stuff that means really nothing. Just impulsive shit you feel like doing.

Women say impulsive shit that means nothing at all. And i know it pisses men off. But it is what it is.

Its just white noise static. Feedings that change like the wind blows.

Deep_Principle_4446 · 2024-03-18T14:30:51+00:00

It benefits a small portion of men greatly

hasbulla_magomedov · 2024-03-18T03:41:09+00:00

I have not yet had the case that I gave some random guy my number and had a date with him.

But if I had, then I would be seriously interested in him, so I wonder why a woman would give you her number and then not make the slightest effort to plan the date.

Also, why should you go on a date with her if you realize that she's not interested planing the date with you?

I'm asking because I'm seriously confused.

ACLU_EvilPatriarchy · 2024-03-18T09:39:16+00:00

In the coming post WW3 Nuclear War, Deep Impact/Armageddon/Greenland/Niburu/Yellowstone Super Volcano/New Madrid Super Quake, Solar System Catastrophes bugout scenario's... With traveling armies doing whatever they want.

That won't be a concern.

It will reset to the Neanderthal with the club Days.

As Feminist Lesbian Camilla Paglia would say.

Maverick-_1 · 2024-03-18T12:01:37+00:00

Hence getting asked out by women seems (very?) rare. Happened to me, also getting approached. Unknown number of others who probably considered or die diligenced, but covertly.

Even twice rejected, increasingly after one asked me out, although I didn't explixitly went after it, hence they can do everything on their own, asking out, vetting, rejecting and both hadn't been my type. So, they can, but don't want to, fear rejection.

2024-03-18T16:34:54+00:00

If the game is rigged, simply dont play the game

hasbulla_magomedov · 2024-03-20T11:27:47+00:00

Yeah, sorry…this is basic stuff to being a man. Quit being a pussy and talk to women. Ask them out. Pay for it. Open doors. Pull out seats.

ElleETS · 2024-03-20T11:44:55+00:00

It’s not the way real men look at dating so try it your way, however that is.

Maverick-_1 · 2024-03-18T12:03:49+00:00

Entertain her at the restaurant. Probably broad autism phenotype, "little" monologues didn't go that well, although I really thought everything was eine. And interesting topics, probably only for me?🤔

Maverick-_1 · 2024-03-18T12:21:32+00:00

Forced to comply "only" when maybe being too far from indifferent or even needy? Hence a misuse of that power dynamic!

It's outright stupid. As if it's crowding out men for neediness(?) ordinal scale, and wealth/ income and looks on the other side.

Women incapable, cannot love us, because co-evolved, that's most probably worst, isn't it? What's the point of it then, anyway? But when you're e.g. ultra strongly infatuated, unconditionally🙄...

BravoPUA · 2024-03-18T13:15:11+00:00

It isn’t “culture”. It’s nature.

Every animal has its mating rituals.

For humans. We have ours.

You listed a lot of stuff that isn’t part of it, and inaccurate.

“SHE will decide if she wants to go out again”.

-so again this just looks like a weak male bitch fest post.

Women are awesome, just not all of them.

And a family is the BEST thing we as humans get to have.

Zenithize · 2024-03-18T13:23:07+00:00

Have you tried dating other men

Draco_415 · 2024-03-18T07:55:10+00:00

I think a MAN should pay the bills but of course the girl should prove herself too. A relationship can stand with two-sided benefits. Not only girl try to show and prove herself or a MAN should show and prove himself. Also it's important for both of couples to show their love against each other. I dated with just 3 girls in many different times. (I'm not a playboy) I always pay the bills and girls were showing their interests to me.

Title	Dating culture is entirely one-sided and doesn’t benefit men
Author	hasbulla_magomedov
Upvotes	1023
Comments	274
Date	March 18, 2024 2:01 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1bhfg8l/dating_culture_is_entirely_onesided_and_doesnt/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/dating-culture-is-entirely-one-sided-and-doesnt.1426647 https://theredarchive.com/post/1426647

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